I’m not going to spend a lot of time on the background of the 48 Laws of Power, but suffice to say if you are planning on maintaining proper frame with your wife and blowing her shit tests out of the water, you need at least a rudimentary understanding of these Machiavelli principles.
Chances are you will have to work harder grasping and applying Machiavelli lessons than your spouse. Women are naturals at this kind of warfare which puts them at a distinct advantage.
Men tend to be logical, direct, and results oriented while women lean more towards viewing everything through how it makes them feel. Manipulating how people feel about you and around you is the core of Machiavellism.
We’re going to take this series slow and really dig into each law and how they pertain to your marriage. As is the case with the 12 Levels of Dread, these laws are amoral. You can use them to bring balance to your marriage or to emotionally abuse your spouse. It is my sincerest hope that you choose the former rather than the latter. Remember, even the most skilled Machiavellians are vulnerable to repercussions, including the great Niccolo Machiavelli himself.
Law 1: Never Outshine the Master
Time for your honest knee-jerk reaction…
A lot of you guys probably bristled for a moment when you considered your wife may be the master. It’s ok. Admit it.
Before I lose you, I’m not implying the wife is or should be the head of the family, but she does have areas of proficiencies that you don’t. In that sense, she is the master and it would be foolish not to defer to her.
To try and outshine the master will result in a few unwanted outcomes. Firstly, it will cause resentment. Like anyone else, your wife takes pride in her accomplishments. You trying to overshadow her areas of strength is a breeding ground for contempt and distrust. Check your ego and give her the floor when it’s prudent.
Case in point, the laundry situation at my house. My wife used to work at a clothing store when she was a teenager so needless to say, she has a lot of experience folding clothes a certain way and her OCD can’t stand my way of folding shirts. Instead of clashing with her about it, I graciously backed off and she now handles the bulk of the laundry. The most I’ll do is occasionally get a new load started.
On the flip side, my wife (for the most part) knows which areas I excel in and butts out of it when I assert my dominance in said field. If she objects I have two options. I can A) gently remind her that whatever it is, is my thing to handle or B) give her a crack at it and see how she fares. Either option is viable as long as you are giving her the opportunity and she isn’t taking it from you.
After she completes the task, take a moment to fix any mistakes and give her pointers on areas to improve. This should be done in a loving manner, not condescendingly. Doing so will increase the trust between the both of you and she will gain increased admiration for you. For a brief moment, you were not just her husband, but her teacher.
Building Her Up
Alternatively, you can use this law to endear yourself to your wife. Take an activity, anything she is good at, and express interest in it. Have her walk you through it. Ask for advice and pointers. Flirt with her a bit along the way.
You’ll leave the activity being a little more knowledgeable and she’ll feel like a million bucks because she got to be the teacher and her man the student for a brief period. She’ll also respect you more because you have openly admitted your own shortcomings and shown that you are humble enough to learn from her.
Just remember, everyone loves being seen as an authority in their field, your wife included. It’s a serious boost to the ego when you’re sought out for your insight.
• Present your ideas in a way that they echo your boss’s thought
• Act less smarter than your boss
• Do not take your position at work or in life for granted
• Always make sure to make it seem like you want to seek the superior’s expertise and advice. Discreet flattery is very powerful.
Why’s This Important?
As stated previously, women are driven primarily by feelings. How you make them feel is infinitely more important than making a lot of money or being in great shape. If you give them the spotlight to shine from time to time, they’ll come back seeking your approval and validation.
Sounds manipulative, no? You need to erase the stigma surrounding manipulation. Like money or guns, manipulation is amoral. Its an means to an end. Doing what I prescribed above is technically manipulating the emotions of your wife, but what’s the outcome? She feels better about herself and you both have a bonding moment. In the long term, she might even begin to work harder on increasing and improving her skill sets hoping you will once again come to her seeking her guidance. Another win. We in the manosphere are often so focused on self-improvement that we neglect fostering that spirit in others, sometimes even our own wife.
Word of Caution
This tactic can backfire based on a few things.
First, don’t ask for a lesson on something that every imbecile knows how to do like loading the dishwasher. Doing so will actually reduce your standing in your wife’s eyes because she’ll think you’re a…well, an imbecile! It’s typically best to save this tactic for hobbies or unique tasks you genuinely have little to no experience with.
Secondly, don’t play up the experience too much. It should be an organic process where you quietly watch, ask a few questions, then try the task yourself under her guidance. Don’t force it and don’t drag it out past it’s expected expiration point.
Flipping the Script
From time to time, be sure to flex your own muscles in specific fields and bring your wife along for the ride.
If you’re making a repair on the car, bring her along and explain what your doing as you work.
If you’re repairing a broken shingle on the roof, have her fetch tools for you.
Let her see you in all your glory, master of your domain. Make her a part of it, your apprentice. Demonstrate to her your prowess in a multitude of fields.
Be the master.