The 4th #ManChat Highlights

On August 14, 2017 I took part in the 4th #ManChat discussion hosted by Ryan Stephens.  Here is the link to the highlights where many more participants weighed in on the questions posed by Ryan.Feel free to answer the questions presented down in the comments section below and discuss.

Author: Jak

Jak, married and father of three, seeks to help the Red-Pill Community take its next step past the petty cynicism and ineffectual anger. While he recognizes that men are significantly handicapped by the modern legal system and culture, he doesn’t accept that traditional marriage is untenable in today’s social climate.

Rather, men must be willing to adapt to this new world by implementing new tactics and approaches to maintaining a balance of power. Jak is here to provide you with these lessons.

  • Ainigmaris Thales

    I don’t think I’ve ever “chatted” in my life.

    • I’ve already told you that #MenShootingTheShit is too long!

      • Ainigmaris Thales

        You only told me that in our head.

        • You didn’t get my mental note?

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            Yes, it was in the imaginary refridgerator in the mind castle. But we have to post about it to make it real.

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            Like momento

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            Right. Somebody get me a Polaroid camera.

          • Boothe

            Can you still get film for those?

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            I think you can get anything on the internet for the right amount of money

        • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

          I am picturing a large cannon.

          • bem

            caliber based on roughage.

    • cheeseburgercheeseburger

      Im sure youve done the “lets walk and talk”. I HATE the walk and talk

      • Ainigmaris Thales

        Do you have trouble walking and talking at the same time? Do you have to be standing still to speak properly?

        • Personally, the whole walking and chewing gum thing is what always trips me up.

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            Yeah, well, of course. I mean, that’s some complicated shit.

          • bem

            gum is as gay as smoking

        • cheeseburgercheeseburger

          spoken like a “Lets walk and talk” kinda guy

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            I got places to be, motherfucker. Hurry the hell up.

  • Ainigmaris Thales

    What do you do for a living?

    I am everyone on the Internet.

    Why did you pursue that career?”

    It was my destiny.

  • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

    man, a couple days of high clicks and already a best of show. what kinda routines people throwing down these days?

    • Ainigmaris Thales

      Banned

      • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

        I love the smell of banning in the morning.

        • Ainigmaris Thales

          It smells like… victory!

        • Ainigmaris Thales

          I read it in The Dude’s voice, like, man.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            It sounds better if you read it in Gilbert Gottfried’s voice.

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            Try it in Bobcat Goldthwait.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            Or Steven Wright.

          • Reyngout

            Everything sounds better in Gilbert Gottfried’s voice.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            Indeed. Him or Foghorn Leghorn should narrate all books on tape, period, end of sentence.

            “It was the best, ah say, the best of tahms, it was the worst, the worst of tahms, boy…”

          • Consolation_of_Philosophy

            I have to resist the urge to having my last name legally changed to “Leghorn” at lest 3x a day.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            Lol!

          • Art

            You said, “boy”. Banned.

      • cheeseburgercheeseburger

        baned

        • Ainigmaris Thales

          Oh, you think the ban is your ally. But you merely adopted the ban; I was born in it, moulded by it.

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger

            nice! I read that in a Stewie voice

          • UWOTM8

            Not actually being banned to this site makes me feel like an underachiever.

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            I believe in you. Follow your dreams. Beefcake. Beefcake!

          • Banned.

          • UWOTM8

            If you strike me down, I shall become more irrelevant than you can possibly imagine…

          • Murdoc34

            !

            I wish I could give two or maybe even three up-votes for this.

            You’ll have to settle for a second ban.

            Banned!

          • UWOTM8

            Ahh yes, very honorabru!

          • I legit lol’ed on this one.

  • cheeseburgercheeseburger

    damn, 2 ft of rain?

    • Ainigmaris Thales

      The forecast is: WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!

      • cheeseburgercheeseburger

        rain for four days straight is a doozy

      • Reyngout

        You mean I’m not the only one sitting around waiting to drown? lol

        • Ainigmaris Thales

          I already drowned in the super super storm of death that they were freaking out about 3 weeks ago.

          • Reyngout

            Ah, Florida…

      • Boothe

        That’s no shit! We ARE all gonna die! Given a long enough time line… So I am not gonna worry about that. I’m gonna see how many more libtards, SJWs and assorted flakes, fruits and nuts I can piss off in the meantime.

    • Reyngout
    • Red Pill is Life

      Is that you, Pabst?

      • cheeseburgercheeseburger

        who exactly are you, newjack?

    • Marius Agrippa Regulus

      up-vote for Stevie

  • The Champion

    I just came here to say that “ManChat” is an absolutely terrible name and whoever came up with deserves to get banned.

    • Ainigmaris Thales

      Agreed.

    • Dodged a bullet there as I didn’t come up with the name. Personally I like the idea someone in our Telegram channel came up with:
      #Manologue

      • The Champion

        Much better, but personally I’d pick “Mandark”.

        • Isn’t that a character off Dexter’s Laboratory?

          • The Champion

            Yep.

          • Omelette du fromage?

          • The Champion

            Access denied. Be advised, complete memory core meltdown engaged…

          • Omelette du fromage?!?
            OMELETTE DU FROMAGE!!!

          • The Champion

            Laboratory will self-destruct in ten seconds…

      • Reyngout

        How bout “The Mansplanation”..

        • Murdoc34

          Curiously, the worse the suggestions is, the more I like it.

        • Ainigmaris Thales

          Solid

        • #Mansplaining

      • bem

        giving me a fukkin #mangraine………

    • Red Pill is Life

      Agreed…

    • Was trying to take action and start vs. waste time on the name. Plus, needed something explanatory and short so as not to waste too many characters w/ hashtag.

      With WrongThink always lurking, I’m considering postponing or re-branding anyway so I’m open to any/all suggestions for new name provided intent remains the similar.

      • I still like #Mansplaining. Heh

      • The Champion

        The name was your idea?! LOL!

        Anyway, there are a couple of good suggestion in the comment section. Manologue, Mansplaning, etc…

        • Ainigmaris Thales

          The Mansplanation would be perfect if it was more hardcore anti-feminist or anti-SJW than this seems to be.

        • Bart Manson ✓ᵂʰᶦᵗᵉ

          Mansplaining is good if you want to attract feminists and SJW’s.

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            What about Manscussion?

          • The Champion

            Manbate? Mancourse?

          • bem

            Mansturbation.

        • I’m *not* anon on Twitter. As such, “mansplaining,” “mansplanation” and the like are just asking for trouble. The WrongThink police are insane right now and we’ve already lost Mark Baxter, TradTX, and Dean Abbott had an incident as well.

          I know of at least one co-worker who wasn’t/isn’t fond of the premise of #ManChat. This week looks like it will be cancelled because of Hurricane Harvey (genuinely unlikely to have power/Internet access), but I’m thinking of sun-setting the chat and/or re-branding it. If the latter, some of these suggestions are solid.

          The intent is for it to be non-denominational (if you will). I don’t care if you’re red pilled, a trad Dad, et al… I just want it to be an outlet for men (and the women that crash; Iris is wonderful) to talk to and learn from one another and, if it makes sense, to connect outside of that chat for deeper discussion.

          There was a great moment in the last chat where I guy was tired of his current gig and wanted to pursue a different course of action. 2-3 gents helped steer him in the right direction. That’s kind of the epitome of what I’m hoping will happen.

          • I personally don’t see anything too offensive that the left can latch onto with the term #ManChat, but they’ve become increasingly insane lately so I could be wrong. If you’re already catching flak IRL, then a re-branding is probably in order.
            Hopefully, the discussions continue as I believe they provided great value and insights for those involved.

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            Maybe just focus on self-improvement in the title, then. You can make it clear in less-subtle ways that’s male self-improvement without putting it in the name.

          • Reyngout

            Twitter? That’s gay as fuck…

            ….

            I joke, I joke…

      • Bart Manson ✓ᵂʰᶦᵗᵉ

        What did our fathers and grandfathers say they were doing when they went to whatever all male club they went to?

        Pretty sure they weren’t going to “chat” with the guys at the Elk Club or the VFW or any of those places.

        Don’t know what the word is, but that’s the word you need. Leave out “man” or “guy” and just find the word that describes a bunch of guys hanging around bullshitting.

        • Bart Manson ✓ᵂʰᶦᵗᵉ

          Or better yet, just outright call it a BOGHAB.

        • Murdoc34

          What did our fathers and grandfathers say they were doing […]

          Depended on who they were talking to.

          • Bart Manson ✓ᵂʰᶦᵗᵉ

            Good point.

        • cheeseburgercheeseburger

          my grandfather always said “hey, go grab me another can of suds.”

        • bem

          #garagetawk

      • Ainigmaris Thales

        Much respect for coming in here and opening yourself up to the slings and arrows of admitting that you came up with “ManChat”. Because that’s gay as fuck.

        • Yeesh. Tough crowd.

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            I said “much respect”. That’s literally the first thing I said. That’s about as close as I come to paying somebody a compliment, ffs.

        • If man can not take criticism in an effort to improve himself, he’s not a man.

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            If a man can not take criticism in an effort to improve himself, he’s not a man.

            Wow, that’s a notion that some people we used to hang out with a lot really, really need to understand.

      • A more serious name suggestion: #Roundtable

        • Consolation_of_Philosophy

          You can always go reverse psychology and embrace an ironically fagitronic name. #SewingCircle. #KnittingClub. #TupperwareParty. But nothing with the word “chat.”

  • Boothe

    Hello gentlemen…and you too Bem. 😉 Now for an actual on topic post.

    1) My career has been in Industrial Instrumentation & Controls for over 36 years. Initially I hated it, but over the years it has become like a well worn pair of boots. I ended up going into this because my initial formal training was in military avionics and civilian utilities favor vets and pay very well.

    2) Would I do it all over? Not knowing what I know now. I would stay in the jewelry trade and be very wealthy instead of merely well off. That was my first job out of high school and I was quite good at it, but didn’t have enough self confidence. My uncle recommended that I join the military and I followed his advice.

    3) I advised all three of my boys to skip college and take up a trade. All three did so. Each one has been paying his own way since reaching the age of majority.

    5) I think the one thing holding most people back in their careers is their attitude. I hear people say things like “I could never do this or that” and they are right. Once you have made up your mind that you can’t do a thing you’re stuck.

    6) The best career advice I have ever received is a tough one. A lot of older men have given me great advice over the years. Probably the best advice came from my grandfather who told me I had two ears and one mouth, so use them accordingly and you can’t hear with your mouth open! If you can master being able to shut up and listen, you can learn a lot and make a lot of friends. Almost everyone loves to talk about themselves and consequently they love a good listener.

    • Ainigmaris Thales

      Excellent job, Boothe. Way to fully complete your homework assignment in class and turn it in early to embarrass all the rest of us.

      • Boothe, gets an A+ for his excellent write up.
        Thales….please see me after class.

        • Ainigmaris Thales

          No

      • Boothe

        Yeah, I tend to be like that. I graduated HS when I was sixteen. I hated school so bad I took as many required subjects as I could and escaped after “only” eleven years of child prison. I had a coworker who was a notorious screw-off tell me I needed to slow down, I was making him look bad. I told him he didn’t need my help with that, he was doing a fine job on his own. 😀

        • Wish they allowed me to graduate early. I was pretty much done with all my required courses by my Junior year. When I found out my school wouldn’t allow that, I took a bunch of fun electives like Art, Graphic Design, and Theater.

          • Boothe

            That was back in ’76. I suspect things have changed. I actually had more credits than I needed to graduate. The headmaster was an avowed socialist who thought the Soviet Union was the cat’s nuts. He had been my social studies teacher and at fifteen, I could argue him into a corner on free market economics any day (and often did). He was more than happy to see me graduate early and did all he could to help I assure you.

    • Reyngout

      Damn, your career is older than me.

      • Boothe

        Just call me “Gramps” LOL!

        • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

          Well I for one find it refreshing that I’m not the oldest guy posting on this site any longer!

          • Boothe

            Yeah I was born in ’59. I am probably the grand old man of AKC now. I can only hope that Bob Smith shows up to don that mantle.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            Yeah, somebody needs to clue him in. The problem is that whoever does will be basically auto-banned.

          • La’darell Luthor

            I’m still smarting from the revelation that Bob Smith isn’t his actual name

          • Art

            It actually is his real name, he just wants you to think it isn’t.

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            ’59? Wow, by some basic calculations I just did that makes you 832 years old

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            When Boothe says he’s a Anglo-Saxon, he means LITERALLY (Hitler).

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            ok got me there. real lol

          • Boothe

            There are days…

          • Chip Baskets

            Aren’t you 50 or so?

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            We really need to get Bob over here. I’m already missing Storytime with Uncle Bob.

          • Boothe

            I hadn’t seen him post for a while. He may have gotten disgusted and bailed. I’ll check periodically and can post my burner email if he pops up.

    • If I had to do it over, I would’ve skipped the MBA and gone into a trade or two. Maybe become an electrician and also work on A/C units.

      • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

        Dude, you’re like 15 years old. You can still make life choices like that.

        • Or maybe one of my many other personalities here already knows it!

      • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

        electrician and a/c units seems like a dangerous combo. Probably get electrocuted.

        • Boothe

          Oh hell no! The occasional electrical shock here and there just puts more lead in your pencil! How’s my favorite New Yawker?

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            Can’t complain boothe….how’s things in your part of the universe.

          • Boothe

            Fast and furious. Rode the bike this morning. I managed to keep it under a buck fifty…just barely, lol. I was going to tell you i’ve moved on from StrongLifts, but I didn’t get to before you were so unceremoniously banned from the unnamed site. I started Max-OT last week (after reading about it on Rollo’s site). It’s brutal if done right, but I’m lovin’ it. In two weeks I have already gained 3 pounds. I wish to hell I’d known about this back when it came out.

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            Max OT is a great graduation. You let me know when you are ready to do massive volume training and really see it blow up. Once you break through the mental block of rep counts being under 12 and start hitting those 5×20 sets you, like one of the site admins here, will never stop thanking me.

          • Boothe

            Yes attitude has a lot to do with it. But I am under time constraints as well. Between the wife, livestock, garden, hand loading, shooting and amateur radio, not to mention a full time job with overtime, two hours in the gym at a time is out of the question. Max-OT really suits me because I can get it done in 30 minutes. But if I get to the point where I have more time I will definitely hit you up.

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            Did you mean amateur radio or was it a typo and you meant amateur rodeo. One thing I always wanted to try was rodeo lol

          • Boothe

            Awww hell! Amateur rodeo is easy. The next time you’re banging some hottie, just get up on her doggie style, wrap your hand up in her hair, then tell her “You know from behind you look just like your sister!” Then try to hang on for eight seconds. 😉

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            HA! I love it! Also, you don’t know who you are dealing with if you don’t think I will ABSOLUTELY try this

          • Boothe

            Why do you think I brought it up? Once all the claw and bite marks heal it will be funny as hell.

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            I have so many claw and bite marks at this point I don’t even feel it anymore. lol.

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger

            I know you are a rental builder, but whats the % property tax paid on condos and co-ops?
            guy just told me the 15 yr tax abatements start to expire next year, and the units that went for $200k back then are valued at $1mm or more

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            It varies by hood but the average condo property tax rate is just under 2%. I know this more because I am looking to buy and not through work. So if you are looking at a condo which is a good sized 1 bedroom or small 2 in the 1000-1200 square foot range you can expect an annual tax nut between 19-25k.
            What your friend says is exactly correct. I am hoping there is a new abatement or that I luck out and find something good. You won’t find zip on the island of manhattan for 200k. I mean nothing. There is not a single place in any part of manhattan for that price at this point. If you are looking for small studios in manhattan proper anywhere south of 125th street you will be starting around 600k. Don’t let the sticker shock scare you though, if you can get in it is the single safest investment in the world. If you buy a one between for 1.2 today, but the end of your 15 years, baring the judgment of the fucking lord himself, you will sell it for over 3.

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger

            those 200k numbers were in brooklyn back in 2002 2003…20k in taxed on…an apartment.
            madness. alot of people are gonna be SOL in the next few years….from $0 to $20k overnight

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            BTW to give you an idea of how the last 15 years panned out…I lived in an apartment in 2002 that was 1100 rent for a good sized 1 bedroom. I moved out of that apartment in 2006 at which point it was 1900. They renovated and sold that apartment in 2007 for about 600k. That apartment’s market value right now would be about 1.3 and rather than any notion of decline or even slowing down of growth, values are moving, year by year, in the right direction even faster than they were before.

            I like to look at street easy and put in the address of places I could have but didn’t buy from time to time to make myself absolutely miserable.

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            I wish you would have told me this 8 months ago when I was actually fucking sisters.

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger

            oh, I thought they were twins.
            lame

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            nah, not twins. Oddly enough the younger was the real…..talent….

          • Chip Baskets

            I was a rodeo clown fora while.
            They made me piss outside

      • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

        If I could do it all over again I would become a Hollywood plastic surgeon. If I had any forsight about all this faggotry that was going on back when I was in school I would have become a divorce attorney and focused specifically on issues that arise if fag-marriage. The industry should be booming soon and when Bruce and Keith decide to go their separate ways and have bitchy custody fights over a Chinese baby with neither of their DNA some lawyers are going to get really fucking rich.

        • Boothe

          And don’t forget the custody battle over that damned Siamese cat. Yeah, you’d already own an island in the Carribean.

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            correct. I mean if you really focused solely on issues that would only crop up for faggots and set up shop with offices in NY, LA and MIA and straight up became the divorce law firm specializing in fag divorce you would be driving your other porche to the beach on Tuesday afternoons before you could say sodomite.

          • Boothe

            Sodomite divorce: The buttfucking you get for the buttfucking you got. Call the law offices of Rectum, Sphincter & Anus, when you need a real asshole to represent you.

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            well done.

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            Gay

        • Consolation_of_Philosophy

          They won’t be fighting over the kid– they’ll be fighting for custody of the poodle.

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            Whatever. They have a lot of anger and a lot of disposable income. Someone is gonna get rich

          • La’darell Luthor

            The kid is just an accessory, and it’s not like abandoning it would be any more destructive for its psyche. Possibly might even help it.

          • Consolation_of_Philosophy

            Well said. I hate when human beings accessorize with other human beings.

        • Art

          Or you could’ve gone the Ludwig Wittgenstein route. After all, “All spinsters are unmarried”.

  • Murdoc34

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6e00f9986e844c9534a9331c91e3afbdf9f337d6257fab329c16f23e4d98d809.png

    I warned you this was going to happen. Top comment on AKC: “He is a dik.”

    Well done, Hippo!

    • Ainigmaris Thales

      Yeah, I think we actually did that on purpose.

    • bem

      fukkin ay……is this the only way I’ll ever get ‘top comment’?

      • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

        yes

      • Murdoc34

        Yes, but on the bright side, you’re bound to make it this way quite frequently.

    • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

      YES!

  • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

    I have it on good authority directly from a Hindude that the word “chat” means “lick” in Hindi.

    Do we really want to participate in a man-lick? I mean c’mon….seriously?

    • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

      I actually read it man shat….

  • Red Pill is Life

    A bit off-topic.
    As much as I prefer this site over Return of Kings (ROK), I somehow feel the recent tensions between the creators of this site and ROK have been misguided. I have noticed many regular commenters have been banned – some of them seem to be upset about it (probably rightly so).
    I have noticed the recent decline on quality of ROK articles (and comments). I do not necessarily agree with everything Roosh Valizadeh says or does, but I still hold some respect for him.
    I believe there is room for both sides. ROK is more for 20-30-something single guys, while Akingscastle is for over 40s, married men.(I am 47, married with children, I prefer this site over ROK)) I really hope you guys will be able to settle the differences with Roosh at some point.
    In the meantime, good luck this site. It has been really informative. Keep up the good work.

  • Red Pill is Life

    Does someone know how this current tension started between Akinsgcastle and R. Valizadeh’s site?
    While I prefer this site over the other, I do hope you guys will eventually able to settle your differences.
    Unnecessary division won’t do any good to anyone.
    This site is excellent, by the way. keep up the good work.

    • Ainigmaris Thales

      I don’t feel any tension. I’m totally chill.

    • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

      Not sure there’s anything to settle at this point, so I have stopped commenting on it (except in this context). He doesn’t want us around, which is fine, but he went about it the exact wrong way. Maybe he’ll apologize in the future, maybe he won’t (I’m betting on the later) but end of the day this site is nice, and more tuned to the family/father/more intellectually mature type of commentator so it really fills a niche that needed filled badly.

      EDIT: By intellectually mature, I’m not implying that we don’t all act like 15 year old boys drinking our first beer. Far from it.

      • Red Pill is Life

        The articles here are meant for a more mature audience. Nevertheless, the comment section is still priceless here. And there is nothing wrong with that.

        • AKC is like a mullet:
          Business in the front. Party in the back.

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            Yeah… no. You need to work on your marketing because that’s as gay as ass-less chaps on Tom Brady.

          • I’m just the PR guy!

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            I didn’t know you were from Puerto Rico

    • Not really any tension here. We just saw Roosh banning all the regular commenters so we invited them to continue the discussion (read – shitposting) here. While I personally don’t hold any grudge against Roosh, I do have to wonder what his end game is alienating his base support.

      • Red Pill is Life

        Thanks for your reply.

    • Murdoc34

      Your earlier post is now ‘inactive’. I had a reply to a specific point you had made, which if nobody minds, I’d still like to answer.

      ROK is more for 20-30-something single guys, while Akingscastle is for over 40s, married men.

      I hope it’s more a matter of priorities than age. If the guy in his 20’s is serious about building a career and a family and seeks the wisdom of those who are doing/have already done this, then he ought to come here. If he wants to bang a series of sluts and party every night, well, actually, he can still come here too for advice, but I think my point was he has options.

      • ROK is more for 20-30-something single guys, while Akingscastle is for over 40s, married men.
        If that’s the case, then I’m not qualified to write posts here as I’m only 32…

        • Red Pill is Life

          No offence intended, boss.

          • Murdoc34

            Wrong answer. You’re supposed to ban him.

          • Red Pill is Life

            Do you guys regularly “ban” each other on this site?

          • If by “regularly” you mean every 20 seconds or so.

          • Red Pill is Life

            LOL

          • None taken

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            Banned

          • Shit

      • Red Pill is Life

        My earlier post was flagged as “spam”, I don’t know why.
        You may be right – it might be more about priorities than age.
        However, people’s priorities tend to change inevitably with age. If you are married with kids, your family is and forever will be your priority.

        • Flagged as spam on this site? Not sure why that happened. I did approve some comments last night on my phone so I may have misclicked.

          • Murdoc34

            Not last night. The one(s) I was trying to reply to show as posted ’33 minutes ago’ and ’22 minutes ago’.

          • Hmmm….I haven’t approved/denied any comments this morning. Let me check on the admin side.

          • Just checked the admin section. I’m not showing any comments in the Trash or Spam sections. Not sure what to tell ya.

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            It’s the juice.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ
          • Ainigmaris Thales

            OJ did it!

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            he has the two things every man wants: A Heisman Trophy and a dead wife.

          • Boothe

            I thought you had the first one. No wait, my bad. That’s the “Hymen Trophy”

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            I am sorely lacking in hymen trophies! As it stands, for all my lechery, I only officially have 5 of them and 2 of them I truly believe were lying and 1 of them I suspect it.

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            There isn’t a girl with an intact hymen over the age of 8 in the entire Western Hemisphere… except bem.

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            Wow

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            Do you doubt the truth of anything in that comment?

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            No. I have no objection to any part of it

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            That’s fucking gold right there.

          • Reyngout

            Nice!

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            (((Nordberg)))

          • bem

            YES!

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            I never realized until I typed it with the jew brackets how funny the name Nordberg is as it seem to connote a Viking jew and it is bestowed on a black guy

          • bem

            +++NORD+++(((BERG)))

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            like the black and white cookie.

          • bem

            still nothing beats a babka

          • Murdoc34
          • That looks more like a Disqus issue than something I can control. Like I said, I haven’t banned/blocked anyone, even the clown from yesterday.

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            That looks like a comment that the author deleted.

          • Murdoc34

            I thought so too, until he said it was detected as spam.

    • Bart Manson ✓ᵂʰᶦᵗᵉ

      Probably a disagreement over who owned the term “manchat”.

      • Busted.

      • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

        Banned!

      • Ainigmaris Thales

        I formally and heartily renounce “ManChat” now and forever.

        • bem

          Seconded.

      • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

        yeah, all these man chatters have left a bad taste in each other’s mouths
        BAM!

      • bem

        Maybe a “Beard-off”?

    • Pyro

      The tesion is mainly due to someone at ROK banning a massive number of regular commenters. AKC took advantage of this opportunity by advertising their site in the ROK comments.

  • bem

    OK I’ll answer your damned questions. Check it out:

    1. Turns out I’m an architect. Well I was poor at math, couldn’t draw welland hated computers so it seemed like the perfect match.
    Actually I always had a penchant for historical buildings and tended towards structural and spatial organization. Took a long time to let go of the blocks as a kid.

    I’ve been in the same firm for about 20 yrs and it’s a good fit. Autonomy, latitude, even a little respect here and there. I caneven say now that there are a few buildings out there that are what they are
    because I said so.

    2. Knowing what I know I’d probably not go this way. This fraud of a profession takes a tremendous amount of pointless, misguided work up front before one experiences even a modicum of financial success or job satisfaction.
    College and pre-licensure internship is a minimum of 8 years, realistically more like 10. Even then, if it’s not your name on the door, you’re not likely to be “designing” anything. I’ve mentioned “access” before as a key to success in any business and this is no different: unless you’re already in the room with the kind of people who build
    buildings, you will never be in business for yourself. If you’re lucky, you get into a situation like mine where you only have one boss and you have similar sensibilities. But still, your situation is only as sound as his ability to bring in work (see ‘access’ above).

    If I had it to do over again, and had the confidence to do so I would have trusted my STRENGTHS, not my INTERESTS. Important point because often they are divergent.

    3. Would not recommend for offspring, unless demonstrable talent and tendency towards designer was in evidence. Even so, a frank discussion of the costs and ROI would be in order.

    4. What holds people back: Perceptions of “where they should be”. People seem to be raised on schedules of
    expectations, milestones…..in the words of Yoda: “Never their minds on where they are! What they are doing!”

    5. Best advice ever received? “Make fewer mistakes.” Success in my line is often really that simple.

    • Lou Skunt

      Hey Bem, great post – very heartfelt. I can’t agree with you more on having the confidence to trust your Strengths over your Interests – a very important point indeed, one which is so often overlooked.

    • Murdoc34

      […] penchant for historical buildings […]

      I’ve thought, more than once, that turning something you enjoy into a career can ruin the enjoyment. It turns a hobby into a necessity to feed your family. Now you have to do it, your desire to do it notwithstanding.

      I’m undecided how I really feel about the matter in terms of advice for others, though. You seem to have done this, so, did you ever find yourself thinking something similar?

      • bem

        Most of what I do doesn’t involve historical buildings, so the interest is still there when they come around. To satisfy a REAL passion for preservation I’d suggest one had to OWN the buildings, not just consult, design, or advise. And of course owning buildings requires a very different career path.

        Still the whole ‘follow your passion’ thing….I’m as suspicious as you are about this advice. Like you said it seems all too easy to follow it right into enslavement. Tough call.

        • Murdoc34

          Not surprised at what you described as basically 10 years worth of busy-work. Any sense of what percentage of aspiring architects give up before they ‘succeed’? Seems to be a low-volume-of-work type industry.

          Incidentally, and as you might have already figured out, my background is in engineering. An engineer that writes specifications using decimal feet and decimal inches. So there is still some enjoyment left in it.

          • bem

            hahah I remember!
            Yes the attrition rate can be high in the “Grand Profession”, especially when the recessions roll around every 15yrs or so. Would be interesting to take an incoming college class and track them to see who actually winds up licensed and practicing. And most of those who ‘drop out’ I would not term as not succeeding, but rather as learning to say fukkit and find another path.

            I know one guy, in his fourth year (of 5) took a good hard look at what he’d put in, what his earning potential would be, etc. and very pragmatically took the the 4 yr degree and went on to law school. Sure the professors saw this as “quitting” or “failing” but in fact the guy just had some very specific goals in terms of income and advancement, so he acted on those before it was too late.

    • B1k3_Ch41N ®❻❾®

      “Make fewer mistakes.” is his motto but he’s an architect…………….

      • bem

        Y’know I always feel like George Costanza when I say what I do for a living…
        Not a motto, but still solid advice. Building is fluid enterprise, and no two projects are the same. No one can anticipate everything in advance, but you can certainly hedge your bets by doing those things you can control correctly to begin with.

    • cheeseburgercheeseburger

      I knew you were an architect based on your posts on that rok article about architecture 😉

      • bem

        suks…..the jig is up!!!!
        but remember – NAAALT!!

  • TheLastConservative

    Oh what the hell… 🙂

    #1 App developer. I make those stupid apps American women burn off their last brain cell with. 😉 (There’s probably an anti-phone article here somewhere. Haha! :-D)
    Didn’t actually pursue this line of work. I was supposed to be working in the defense industry. (I have heavy math and aerospace engineering backgrounds.) Was all set to get started after graduating but that’s around the time Obama pulled the sequestration crap which of course… immediately froze the one job I was set to start. From there it just got worse and worse. I was finally told point blank by a shall-be-nameless defense company that I wasn’t hirable simply because I was white. I didn’t know about all this red pill stuff back then but looking back, that was probably the turning point for me. Nothing kills patriotism more than: you’re too American to help protect America. 😀
    Anyway, since nobody was hiring and I was sitting with 140k+ in student loans, I figured there wasn’t any reason I couldn’t write my own apps. So I did. And then I left the US. Best thing I’ve ever done in my life.

    #2 I’d pick the same career today actually. The only difference is… I’d stop my education at astronomy (because I still like that) and chuck the rest of my degrees in the rubbish bin. After all that work and money, I ended up making a lot more for something I didn’t even need a degree to do. As it is, I may be the most overeducated silly app developer in existence.
    Oh yeah, and one more thing I’d do sooner: get the hell out of Dodge!!!!! 😀

    #3 Now this is an interesting one. The me prior to leaving the US would have encouraged a kid to get some sort of STEM degree and go from there. The me in Europe? The hell with degrees. Learn to code/draw/model, live smart, work less, and enjoy life more. Although, out here they don’t have the crazy student loan setup.

    #4 I’ve actually met a few excellent women in the sciences. But they’re the exception to the rule. (Oh and just so we’re clear, they were excellent at what they did. Not … necessarily wife material. AHEM. :-D) I’ve also… run into a disturbingly high number of women who are terrible and use the fact that they are a woman to get ahead. It’s pretty amazing what they can get away with.

    #5 My take? Sitting on your ass. The only thing that stopped me from starting apps was wasting time sending out job applications. If I’d knocked that off sooner, I’d have my first app out sooner, and been out of the US sooner. 😀

    #6 Honestly… none. I did everything I was advised to do and got absolutely nowhere with it. Only when I stopped listening to other people and did my own thing did I start getting places. So perhaps that’s my best advice: don’t listen to advice.
    Sounds asinine, but it worked in my case. 🙂

    • bem

      “From there it just got worse and worse. I was finally told point blank by a shall-be-nameless defense company that I wasn’t hirable simply because I was white.

      no WAY! unfukkinbelievable…

      • TheLastConservative

        I know, right? Just nuts. Supposedly they had some kind of racial quota thing and with most hiring frozen at the time, the only hires were minorities.
        Or I just gave crap interviews and that was first excuse that the guy blurted out. Maybe he was bad under pressure. Guess I’ll never know now! Ha! 😀

        I’m glad it happened though. If I had been hired to do what I was supposed to do I’d still be in the US. Probably still stuck with student loan debt. Barely making it even though I made a decent salary. No thanks. The way it worked out was a lot better. 🙂

  • UWOTM8

    The comment section here is like the Jedi council of former ROK regulars.
    Lurk-mode engaged…..

    • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

      Wilkommen.

    • Murdoc34

      The comment section here is like the Jedi council.

    • TheLastConservative

      Jedi Council!? The hell with that! This is the Sith Council! 🙂

  • Lou Skunt

    Ok, my work has been rained out for the past 3-days, so I’m in front of the computer more than usual. I also REALLY like this venue far more than the alternative, so I’m willing to share more of my experiences with the gents. Here it goes…

    1) Business Owner, Landscape Construction Company (80% Residential, 20% Commercial). For the last 12 years, I’ve been involved in the design, installation and supervision of everything from swimming pools, to outdoor living solutions, driveways, parking lots and much more. I started this business in ’05 after a successful, but very stressful career in the mortgage business. Making the move to North Texas, we were virtually unaffected by the Great Recession. Today, we have 21-full time employees and still growing.

    2) That’s a tough question to answer, as I’ve always been one to keep an eye out for new opportunities. Being in the mortgage business at the time (’05), we could all see the writing on the wall… everybody knew the collapse was inevitable. My decisions were based on many factors, but at that point in my life, I knew I could no longer commute 3 hours in traffic and deal with unrealistic quotas. However, my time in the mortgage business was far more valuable than any degree. I very quickly learned how to structure a loan and gained tremendous knowledge on consumer credit, debt, etc. This knowledge quickly became the catalyst for my personal real estate investments, which continue to this day. Hell, my years in the mortgage business and how I decided on my current career can be an article in and of itself…

    3) My wife and I don’t have children (medical reasons). However, we’re the godparents to several nieces and nephews. I also employ a few family members. This is another very tough question to answer, considering how rapid things are changing these days. My advice: if anybody owns their own business, bring your family into the business, teach them, watch them grow, hand over the reins to them, provide them with the opportunities that they may not get elsewhere.

    4) I can’t really comment on the gender gap, as I’ve always worked in male-dominated industries/positions. My limited contact with women in the workplace over the years was always very pleasant, but I would have never gained the knowledge and confidence without the tutelage of the Real Men that I had the great pleasure of working with.

    5) From what I’ve personally witnessed over the years, in no particular order: Poor work ethic. A combination of fear and/or self-doubt. Unnecessarily complicating matters, the old K.I.S.S. rule (Keep It Simple, Stupid). Also, more recently, a sense of entitlement.

    6) Best advice: Stay Hungry and never become complacent, as there is always somebody ready to take your place. I’m also a big believer in bullshit luck and timing…

    • bem

      Great stuff. Takes real cojones (sp?) to start a business you have no background in (I’m guessing). The nuts and bolts of this transition would make a great article!

      Its surprising you actually ADVOCATE bringing family into the business….I’ve always heard that was asking for trouble.

      • Lou Skunt

        Thanks Bem. I was never really risk-adverse, and knowing where the mortgage industry was heading at the time, I knew a change was in order. Fortunately, I made the right decision, as I knew so many people that lost their asses, many of which have never fully recovered.

        In terms of background, I was already rehabbing and flipping homes on the side since ‘93… (I had access to all the best loan programs), and in that time, I developed a pretty strong working-knowledge of construction, landscaping, etc. – it was kind of a natural progression…

        With regards to family in the business, I made mention of that simply because I’ve personally witnessed far more family businesses do well, as opposed to failing. If all the components are in place, and no disfunction exists, who better to trust than family… When I was younger, I probably wouldn’t have felt that way, but as I get older, I gravitate more and more to that concept.

        I’m always happy to share more details, and I hope to write an article when time permits.

        • bem

          Fortune indeed favors the bold!
          looking forward to the article!

  • UnreconstructedConfederate

    Somebody somewhere has to come up with a better term than “manchat”, that sounds like something an office full of women HR pros came up with.