As the homework assignment for the Way of the Warlord program, I gave the homework assignment to work on how you deal with stress and anger. Today I’ll post 5 things I’ve been doing to keep calm and carry on when things get crazy, and what to do if you do end up loosing your cool
Staying In Control
Keeping your anger in check is one of the things I’ve trained myself to do. I grew up with a single mother so I had no real father figure to set an example by. Naturally I responded to stressful situations as a woman typically does. Overly dramatic, it affected me personally, and I did little to fix the actual issue.
Since taking the red pill, I have completely reversed this and people comment on how well I deal with stress now. It did take time and exposure to stress to fix the issues I had, but overcoming that has helped me tremendously.
Fake it until its real
This was the first thing I did. When dealing with a shit hits the fan situation, inside I was still panicking like crazy. Every time I faced a situation that was unexpected, I would tell myself “you got this” even if I didn’t believe it. The funny thing is, that once I did this often enough, I didn’t have to fake it, as I was actually calm when in those types of situations. While this approach works, I think there is more to it, because you can quickly just ignore things you have to get done, which causes more stress.
Finding the root cause
I find that this works better with anger than stress. I’ve found that when I’m angry at something that I probably shouldn’t be (there are legit times you should show anger), I like to ask myself “what is making me this pissed off.” Interestingly, I have found that if I am angry then ask this question, my brain starts looking for a root cause. While focusing on what is making me angry, I find that I stop feeling angry altogether. When using this process, I find that I weed out getting hyped about things that don’t matter much.
Keep a strong frame
Not letting others dictate how you feel is part of red pill theory 101. I’m mentioning it here because you should be doing this with people who stress you out or anger you in some way. Letting someone get to you so bad that you’re flying off the handle gives all the power in that situation to the person keeping their cool. This could be your kids, your wife, friends etc. Even some random person starting shit with you, if you stay calm, 99% of the time you’ll have the upper hand.
You knew I was going to sneak this in here, but I’ve found that physical activity (weightlifting, cardio, a few push ups, even a quick walk) helps me calm down quite a bit. I find that it either distracts me for long enough to relax and look at the situation logically, or the opposite, it gets me hyped up and motivated to take anything on.
Choose your battles
Ask yourself will you being stressed or pissed off help the situation at all? In most cases, staying calm and collected almost always leads to a solution, while raging like a crazy person typically ends badly. The term “Don’t stress the little things” is a good one because if you let every bad thing that comes along completely take over how you feel, you’ll never get ahead in life.
I’ll go on to say that as men we are expected to deal with the bullshit of life. You weren’t put here to mess around all day (okay fine, commenter Bem gets a pass here) but in all seriousness, we are dealt the shit in life because we are expected to handle it. Your life is not supposed to be a cushy, easy existence, and we grow out of struggle and overcoming the tests that the world throws at us.
I want to stress again that if someone seriously wrongs you, you have every reason to get angry and deal with it. You can’t be a pushover and there are certain times a man is expected to react with force or anger. I’ve found that these are usually toward external threats (someone wronging you or one of your own.) Sometimes they are one of your own, and these situations obviously don’t fall under the theme of today’s topic.
Also, this topic covers not arguing with people who aren’t thinking logically. Fighting with someone who is using personal attacks or twisting what you say around isn’t worth your time or effort.
Keeping your cool is something all men should be doing. It shows you’re dependable when the time calls for it, and you can be trusted to carry out what needs to be done no matter what. We covered
- Faking it until its real. Throw yourself into stressful situations with everything you’ve got, reminding yourself to stay cool
- Find the root cause. Start unwinding what is stressing you out to find out how to fix it
- Keep a strong frame. Don’t let people get under your skin, especially in an argument or disagreement
- Exercise. Do a physical activity to clear your head
- Choose your battles. Don’t stress out about small shit. Don’t waste time arguing with someone who isn’t using logic.
Drop a comment below on how you deal with stress and anger.