A Family Carved of Stone

As the leader of the pack that is your family, your guidance, words and most importantly your actions will dictate what your family looks like and ascribes to.  You’re the horse, and the driver of the cart and your actions are what they will consider the norm.  When it comes to health and fitness, there is no exception to this rule.

A man of sloth, bad eating habits, and a weak physique will set two standards to his wife and children.  The first being that he cannot set and complete goals of his own volition. He not only doesn’t care that he’s being a poor example to his wife and kids, but he’s also telling them that he has no intention of even trying to overcome it.

The other standard he sets is that he is not striving to be the best man he can be.  The fat, weak married man, whether he’s on the beach or watching a movie, he is constantly one upped by guys in better shape. This lowers his SMV, which even when married, is something you have to be conscious of as you’ve agreed to fuck one person for the rest of your life, therefore you and your wife owe it to each other to stay fit.

Despite what they tell you, this is not going to get you any respect

If you’re married and let your weight or physical level drop to a low there is still hope.  You can, not only look better, get stronger, and gain confidence in yourself, but you can also do wonders for your family relationships.

You

It has to start with you.  This can be the hardest part because people like to fall into routines, and in society today, following the path of least resistance seems to be the norm.  We don’t subscribe to that way of thinking here.   The truth is, if you want to be physically fit and healthy, you have to put the time in.  You have to get your ass to the gym, you have to eat right, and you have to make fitness as natural as breathing.  It’s not a chore to go to the gym, it’s something you just do.  Like taking a shower or driving your car.

There are hundreds if not thousands of articles on where to start, but most guys agree that you should be doing heavy compound lifts at least 3x a week.  At first it will suck, it will be hard, and you won’t feel like doing it, but we’ve committed to this, so no excuses.  After six months, you’ll notice a change I guarantee it.  You’ll start to look better.  You’ll realize that things that were once hard for you to lift are now easier.  The high of accomplishing a goal will enhance your entire life.   In the end you have to lift for yourself.  You can’t do it for your wife; you’re friends, or anyone else. That said, as a married man, you’re running the show, and your actions directly influence your dependents.

Wives

Women get their self-worth largely by their physical appearance, or more over, how they’re perceived by others.  Women also “cope” with things they differently than most men do.   Strong men will do something productive to cope with failures, where women tend to indulge.  Granted this is not a concrete fact, just an observation I’ve made over the course of my life. A woman tends to want to indulge more, and since its usually a negative indulgence, they want you to join in. You must not do this.   A guy who is fat and eats junk food all day gives the green light to his wife to do the same.  A guy who doesn’t care about being healthy shows her that he doesn’t care if she is.

When you have been lifting for a while and your body starts changing something happens between you and your wife.  It can be met with one of two outcomes.  First, and this is the best case scenario, she is inspired by you.  She thinks you’re more attractive and she realizes she’s lacking.   Fear and dread kick in that you won’t be viewing her as the most attractive now that you’ve upped your SMV.  I’m not saying your wife is or should be trying to out deadlift you, but just getting her eating on check is a win.

The other outcome is resentment.  She’ll get angry that you look better and have more confidence.  She’ll hate the attention you receive from women.  She’ll try to knock you off track and get you to skip the gym and eat like a fat ass.  This, once again, is a huge shit test in a way.  Threatened by your determination, she attempts to knock you off your throne.  This combined with a “misery loves company” aspect mean that you’re going to have to have rock solid frame if she reacts this way.

Personally, my wife encourages my strength training.  She always comments when I have a nice pump or when I go to the gym. She also wonders why I’ve skipped a gym day at times.  She tells me how much of a turn on it is when she can see my body transforming into a better version of itself.  This is what you want gentlemen, but even if she discredits your lifting, remember you do it for you, not her, and a supporting wife shouldn’t try to hinder her husband’s progress, nor should you let her.

Children

If you have children or plan to, being the captain of the health and fitness ship that is your family directs them as well.  My oldest son sees me lifting every day.  My daughter knows who to go to when she needs a strong adult.  Instilling a baseline of healthy habits and fitness in your children is one of the best things you can do for them.  My son does MMA and plays soccer, and my daughter does competitive dance and gymnastics.  Whenever they complain that they’re too tired or don’t want to go to class I remind them that I got up and did what I committed to this morning, why should you be any different.

The other obvious thing that being strong does for your kids is that it cements in their minds that their dad is essentially a super hero.  When seeing the average dad with noodle arms and a fat gut compared to a strong father, they will understand why you spent so much time on it.  It will show them that being the best is something to strive for, even if everyone else fails to do so.  To them, you’re going to be invincible and a father should be viewed this way.

Setting a great example for her.

Conclusion

You have a role as a man, and one facet of that is being strong.  You should want it for yourself, and if you don’t I don’t know why you’ve read this far.  It is all achievable if you cut the shit and get in the weight room.  I want to be the physical and health god for my family.  In an age where obesity and laziness rule I am the lightning bolt that destroys that false reality.  Your wife and children should look to you as the king, the warrior, and the barbarian.  Strive to be the biggest, strongest, and most capable you can be for yourself, and for them.  The state of your kingdom depends on your rule, so don’t accept weakness or that’s what it will be

Author: Jnyx

J. Nyx is a father of three and co-owner of akingscastle.com. He understands that there is something missing in the community and that you can be a traditional, masculine man in our current age as well as a dedicated leader of your family.