“Make the most of yourself….for that is all there is of you.”
―Ralph Waldo Emerson
In our last article of this series, we discussed how to identify and properly respond to the various shit tests women will sling your way, by adopting a carefree, sometimes flirty attitude. If you’ve been studying the material provided in the last article, focusing on the subtext that women provide when they talk to you, and keeping your wits about you, you should be starting to get a good grasp on things. Remember to take this process slowly. I would suggest implementing Level 1 at least two to three solid months before moving on and then only if you are comfortable proceeding. Level 1 truly is the foundation of all that comes afterwards and it would be folly to build your house on the sand. If you aren’t coming off strong in at least 90% of the shit tests leveled at you, stay at Level 1 for now. Get your mind right and master that fantastic two letter word (shame on you if you don’t remember what that word is).
Level 2 focuses on action and self-improvement. You must strive to excel in all areas of your life. How you decide to excel is up to you, but the fact of the matter is that until you become worthy of respect, no one -not even your wife- will respect you. Kind of stings, I know, but deep down you know it’s true. Don’t buy into this garbage the leftist media tries to peddle about how everyone, by virtue of just being born, is worthy of your respect, or you theirs. Should be show a basic level of courtesy to others? Sure, but never mistake that for true respect.
The areas of improvement you’re going to focus on in Level 2 are as follows:
- Physical – Strength, body composition, and nutrition
- Spritual – Adherence to your faith, meditation, and charity
- Mental – Reading, mentally engaging activities, and skill development
- Financial – Earning more, spending less, and paying off debt
- Personal – Adopting a powerful mindset, dumping toxic friendships, etc
Seems a bit overwhelming when looking at all this at once, doesn’t it? Well quite honestly, it is! That’s why we’re going to discuss a few tricks to help you manage these different fields of focus as well as dig down into the nitty-gritty of each of the fields.
This is probably one of the simplest concepts to cover, but will require the most willpower for many to actually implement. The rewards however, will be well worth the sacrifice.
Take a moment from reading this article and go look in the mirror. Take your shirt off and take a good long look. What do you see? Are you flabby with a thick layer of fat around your gut? Or perhaps you are a string bean that looks like you can be blown about by a stiff breeze? Maybe you’re somewhere in between, not fat but also not very muscular either.
Take a moment and write down the single biggest thing you could do to improve your physical appearance. For those who are overweight, that might be losing body fat. For the string beans, it’s probably putting on some muscle. Don’t list everything you want to do right now, just the largest, first priority item of business that needs attending to. You’re going to focus on that piece of business with all your willpower and strength. Focusing on multiple fitness aspect at once saps your resolve and tugs you in many different directions. It’s better to completely annihilate one goal, then move onto the next.
Now take that goal and make an action plan for it. Say you decided the biggest thing for you to accomplish first is to lose that spare tire. List out in as much detail as you can how you’re going to accomplish that. Figure out your contingency plans so you’re not left trying to figure it out on the spot.
- What are you going to do if you go out to eat?
- What happens if you forget your lunch at home (I’m guilty of doing that this morning)?
Do your research on various eating plans (I’m more partial to the paleo diet), determine what your exercise schedule is going to consist of, and stay consistent with it all. That third part is going to be the hardest.
Some of you may be wondering, why focus on the spiritual? How will this tangibly improve my life and relationship with my wife and kids? Spiritual events as simple as going to church on Sundays provide structure and routine, something children crave and a chance to bond with your wife as you learn more about your faith.
Not the religious type? Then find other ways to develop your spiritual side. Try meditation, read philosophy books, get out into nature. Tapping into your spiritual side, regardless of your faith, put you in a state of peace and receptiveness. When your spirit is calm, you are able to complete the tasks presented to you without becoming flustered and angry.
Finally, participate in some form of charity, no matter how small. It’s better to provide hands-on assistance as opposed to sending in a monthly check to a faceless organization. Helping those who are worse off than you are allows you to keep a proper perspective on life and helps you appreciate what you got.
What you do is entirely up to you. You can do something as big as building houses with Habitat for Humanity (a double perk as you will develop new skill sets) or something as simple as helping in your church’s nursery once a month.
As the body is strong, so must the mind be sharp. A physically powerful man with no brains is an oaf -a brute- while an intelligent man with no physical stature is a bookworm. You should strive to be neither polarities but rather reach beyond and seize the rewards from both sides of the spectrum.
The most powerful tool in your disposal for increasing your mental capacity is reading. Focus on reading non-fictional works in fields that interest you. If you’re a history buff, read books recounting the founding of your country and its laws. If you’re a military enthusiast, trace the origins of all the great wars throughout history and what the catalysts were.
On top of reading, you should be exercising it through games and stimulating discussions. Find a friend to play chess against. Discuss politics and philosophy with someone who is amiable. Do the crossword or Sudoku puzzles in your daily newspaper. Learn a new skill such as carpentry, leatherworking, or martial arts.
Finances are another aspect of daily life that is tough for most people. Our modern society lives off credit and if you’re not careful, it’s quite easy to find yourself under a mountain of debt. Ultimately, there are three approaches you should employ simultaneously to improve your financial situation:
- Increase your income
- Decrease your expenditures
- Pay off your debts
Getting your finances in order does wonders for your peace of mind and for your marriage. To accomplish this however, you will need to get your wife onboard. If she’s prone to going out on shopping sprees, you’ll need to nip that in the bud.
To earn more income, you have a few options to choose from. You can either try to get a raise at your current place of employment, search for a better paying job, or work a side hustle.
Angling for a promotion/raise at your current job is all well and good, but fairly tough in this current age as most positions are easily replaceable. Work hard, get in good with your boss and his boss, and take on the occasional pet project that you can show off when you’re ready to make your move. Show them the value you bring to the company and why they should pay you more. If you’re continually shot down, then it might be time to move onto greener pastures.
No matter what job you work, you should be looking to create some side hustles. It can be as simple as delivering pizzas at night, mowing lawns on the weekends, or something more elaborate like writing your own eBook. Adopt an entrepreneurial mindset and find goods or services that you can provide to those around you. Increasing the number of cash streams not only allows you to save more money and pay off debt faster, it gives you a cushion in case your primary job falls through. In addition, your wife will grow to respect you more as she sees that you have contingency plans to provide for the family.
The best way to decrease your expenditures is to adopt a minimalist mindset. If you can live without it, drop it. That doesn’t mean you have to live in a hut, but really take a good hard look at where your money is going:
- Drop your cable bill and use Netflix or Hulu
- Cook your own meals instead of going out or buying premade meals
- Get rid of luxury services/expenses
- Drink the office coffee instead of going to Starbucks in the morning
If you don’t have a budget, now is the time. Write out where everything is going down to the very last dollar. Once you have your budget, stick to it. Don’t fall for the shit tests your wife will throw at you when she wants to go get some trinket. If it’s not in the budget, it isn’t being bought.
Bonus Tip: Start building a FU Fund. This is basically an emergency fund for at least a year’s worth of expenses. Set aside whatever money you can from each paycheck and slowly let it build up.
This section is the most ambiguous and will require some deep introspection. Take time each day to reflect on how you’re living your life.
Where are your hang-ups?
What’s keeping you from progressing forward?
It might be toxic friends or family members that, like crabs in a bucket, keep dragging you down whenever you try to build yourself up. It could be apprehension over your marriage not being what you thought it would be. It may even be a general malaise you’re experiencing that is keeping you rooted in place. You must break out of those restrictions and release your fears to move on.
You’ll find new, better friends (Abundance Mentality). Your wife will come to respect, even adore your newfound power and decisiveness. Insurmountable obstacles will shrink to mere road-bumps as you move forward realizing the vision for your future. Negativity has no place in your new life. Discard it as you would a piece of trash. You’re a man of action. It’s time to get shit done.
Like the other levels of Dread Game we will discuss, this isn’t a series of checklists that you can complete and then never worry about again. Rather, this is a list of changes to your very lifestyle that you will incorporate into your daily routine for the rest of your life. Muscles atrophy, the mind grows dull, and treasures eventually rust if they are not regularly cared for. The task set before you is daunting, but the reward is great.
Level 2 puts you on your first step toward being what every man wants to be and who every woman dreams of being with.
Strong, confident, intelligent, and wealthy. Pair those traits with an Abundance Mindset, Amused Mastery, and Indefatigable Frame and you’ll be running Dread Game for days. For many men, Level 1 and 2 will be more than enough to reclaim your standing in your marriage. For those who are making great strides in these two levels, read my upcoming post regarding level 3.
One final reminder: These levels take time. You’re not going to transform your body or become a philosophy expert overnight. More likely, you will require at least 3-6 months of intensely dedicated effort to really make significant strides in all these fields. Build your action plans for each section and follow through daily. Strive to become even a little better each day.