Lets cut to it, if you’re a married guy with kids, you’re going to have a busy life. Between getting your kids to school, dealing with work, after school activities, birthday parties and all the other things you have to handle, things can get a little out of control it may seem. Rather than letting it get to you, you have to come up with ways to override the time constraints you have. Below are 5 that I use that help me stay on track.
1. Get and learn to use a slow cooker
My wife and I both work full time, so someone being home to whip up a home cooked meal is not in the cards for us. I have a strict diet for my workout schedule, and I also value the health and fitness level of my family, so that leaves take out or the drive thru off the table. Enter the slow cooker.
You can make a whole variety of delicious meals in a slow cooker. Ribs and fajitas are my favorite, but I’ve put pork tenderloins, beef roasts, and entire chickens in my slow cooker, seasoned the way I want and it cooks while I’m at work. You can dump the food in when you leave for work, and since slow cookers cook…wait for it….slowly, you can set a timer for when it should go on. Some fancy cookers even have a wifi and an app you can operate the thing with over the interwebs. This solves the problem of “not having time to cook” Start here for recipe ideas.
2. Schedule a time to go to the gym
We’ve written about fitness here on multiple occasions as it is integral for any red pilled man to be strong. One thing I hear guys say with way less on their plate than I do is “I don’t have time to workout.”
First, that’s bullshit and a cop out. My father has a saying “Don’t tell me you cant, tell me you don’t want to.” If you had time to watch TV or screw around on the internet you had an hour to lift weights. For me, I had to schedule my lifting early in the morning. I get up at 5 am and hit the weights hard before my day begins. It wakes you up, gets the blood pumping, and sets you up with a positive activity to start the day off with.
Not everyone can do this I understand, but the key is setting a time to actually work out. Don’t fall into the foolish behavior of saying “I’ll lift when I’m done at work” or “I’ll go to the gym tomorrow” Have it in your schedule to work out. Write it on a calendar or as a notification on your phone. Every day this will be the the time you dedicate to lifting, and if you “cant’ eliminate some other negative behavior.
3. Set up a shared family calendar
“I’ll remember that” is the biggest lie I tell myself all the time. I like things to be structured and mapped out. One of the best thing I ever did was to set up a shared google calendar with my wife. Doctors appointments, school functions, after school activities etc. are all saved to the calendar. You can set reminders and notifications (like step 2) in one spot and access it anywhere.
4. Prepare for the day ahead the night before
Even with getting up at 5am, I wouldn’t consider myself a morning person. That said, part of what makes my morning workout easier is getting my workout clothes all laid out the night before. That way, when I get out of bed, I’m not stumbling around in the dark trying to find a pair of socks. I do this in other areas of my life too.
Pick and lay out your clothes for work the next day. If you have a project due, upload/download anything you’re going to need that night. If you have to do meal prep for the slow cooker, get it all chopped, spiced and ready to just dump in the cooker the next day. The key to all of this is making things easier for you in the beginning of the day. We all know how shitty a morning that is in complete chaos can be, so we try to negate as much as possible beforehand.
5. Take time for yourself
Yes, you read that right. As a man, you are the leader of the family and your family depends on you to own up to everything that means, but you need time to yourself without the wife and kids. I tend to do my best thinking while lifting or when doing archery. It can be anything really. Washing/waxing your car. Going to the gun range. Splitting firewood etc. Even social things with your buddies (grabbing a beer, playing pool, going mountain biking etc) are all things you guys should be doing. A good woman will understand that you break your balls everyday killing shit for your family and give you time to focus on numero uno.
Bonus: Make time as a couple
I threw this in because I do feel it is important. Spending all your time changing diapers, giving baths, and driving to soccer practice takes its toll on a couple. Sometimes when being parents we can forget that we’re also in a LTR with our wives. I like to take time to be a couple with my wife too. Could be going out to eat dinner or something as simple as just leaving the kids with a sitter and doing the “normal” things you’d do without having to be parents for a few hours.
Note, that this does not mean going to some bullshit woman event as your wife’s tag along. I am of the mindset that the man should decide on what you’re doing as a couple. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had my wife say she loved that I planned out what we were doing. Women react in the moment, and if you hit them with a well timed “Come on, lets take the kids to my parents and you and I go do something.” it works almost every time.