The 48 Laws of Marriage: Law 7

“Surround yourself with the best people you can find, delegate authority, and don’t interfere as long as the policy you’ve decided upon is being carried out.”
-Ronald Reagan


As men, our natural inclination is to take charge of a situation, even if it means doing it ourselves.  While this means we have full control of the outcome, it also means we’re not utilizing our time and resources to the best of our ability.  It becomes an issue of opportunity costs.  If you’re wasting time doing menial tasks, it means you can’t use that time doing something that adds more value to your family’s life.

Law 7 forces us to be introspective and decide if a task should be handled personally or if it can be delegated to others, in this case, members of your family.  This poses three key questions:

  • Who should I delegate the task to?
  • Why should I delegate this task to them?
  • How should I delegate the task to them?

In the rest of this article, we will discuss the methods used to answer the above questions as well as the benefits to delegating tasks to others even if you believe you could do the job better yourself.

You Do Not Possess Said Skill

While you should constantly working to increase the breadth and depth of your skills, there will simply be things you either do not know or aren’t as skilled in as someone else in your family.  Now is a perfect opportunity to delegate the task to said person.  Why struggle to do a mediocre job when your wife, for example, can easily do it better?  The same works in reverse as well, of course.

This will save many frustrating instances for the entire family, if you delegate to those who are the most capable.  That being said, you should at least be competent in all of the daily duties in case you’re stuck running the household solo for a time, like when your wife is ill.

Prevents Burn-Out

As most of you have experienced, waking up early, busting butt at work, and coming home only to continue the grind will wear you down to a nub.  In most instances, there is no reason for this.

Get the whole family involved with the household chores.  It’s okay to be a bit selfish and reserve some personal time to relax and unwind.  A Biblical scripture that I like to ponder over can be broken down even further to help illustrate this point:

“If anyone does not provide for his own, and especially his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

-1 Timothy 5:8

This passage speaks to the importance of taking care of those closest to you, your wife and kids, before taking care of anyone else.  Taken even further, in order to even be able to take care of your own family, you must first take care of yourself.

Burning yourself out trying to micromanage everything is akin to killing the goose that lays the golden eggs.  No more prosperity will be created.

Builds Trust

For many of the men out there, we are naturally inclined to dive in and get our hands dirty on a project.  It takes a great deal of trust to pass the reins on to someone else.  If you’re well-known for taking the lead in your family, which you should be, delegating an important task to your wife or kids tells them you trust them explicitly, high praise indeed.

Trust is a circle.  The more you put your trust in your family, the more they will trust you in return.  As with everything else, it starts with you.

Builds Skillsets in Others

I’m not to this point yet, with my oldest child only being five years old, but I can imagine the pride I’ll feel when my children can do adult tasks such as mowing the lawn, cooking meals for the family, or working on the car.

These accomplishments are done by baby steps.  Let your kids help with the chores and as they become more proficient, slowly them them take the wheel until they are able to do it by themselves.

As fathers, part of our duty is to prepare our children to take care of themselves long after we’re gone.  While we might be compelled to do everything for them either out of wanting to protect them or our own OCD behavior (guilty), we’d be doing our children a great disservice by not letting them fail, struggle, and finally succeed on their own.

Take the Credit(?)

In the corporate world, this might be different, but with your family don’t be afraid to praise your wife and kids for their accomplishments.  Let them know they did a good job and you are proud of them.

A good leader is confident enough in his position to praise a job well done.  Even though you’re not getting credit directly, you’ll be looked up to as the husband/father who knows how to get a job done and who’s best equipped to do it.

This is one of the toughest aspects of leadership to master, but also one of the most crucial. Even in the victory lap of others, you’re still receiving part of the credit for your wise and benevolent leadership abilities.


Delegating tasks to others is about finding win-win situations, leveraging each individual’s skills and passions to keep things running as smoothly as they can while also maximizing everyone’s downtime to pursue other ventures.

Your reward in this whole process is seeing your family thrive and be capable of keeping everything in order even if you are down due to injury, illness, or out on business.

It’s a strange combination of selfishness and investing in others, namely your wife and kids.  If done properly, everyone benefits.  The kids feel like they’re contributing, your wife knows you trust her explicitly, and you have the free time to hustle on larger projects or side ventures.

That being said, this all falls apart if you delegate all the responsibilities to your family and you go sit on the couch to watch TV.  This will breed resentment and ultimately tear the whole process apart.  If you are delegating tasks to your family so you can have more free time, you better be doing something of value with that free time.  This isn’t a hard a fast rule, sometimes you may just need a break, but that should be the exception to the rule instead of the norm.


Author: Jak

Jak, married and father of three, seeks to help the Red-Pill Community take its next step past the petty cynicism and ineffectual anger. While he recognizes that men are significantly handicapped by the modern legal system and culture, he doesn't accept that traditional marriage is untenable in today's social climate. Rather, men must be willing to adapt to this new world by implementing new tactics and approaches to maintaining a balance of power. Jak is here to provide you with these lessons.

239 thoughts on “The 48 Laws of Marriage: Law 7”

  1. Well done. I struggle with having them work on cars with me. You would think something as simple as loosing a bolt wouldn’t be so difficult, but they somehow find a way to round it off or something.

    1. That’s just a matter of experience. You have to round off nuts, strip threads and break bolts to learn the “feel” of threaded fasteners. The reason you and I are less likely to do this is now because we have already done this in the past.

      1. Correct. I started by taking apart my bikes and reassembling them with my dad’s tools. You learn very quickly how to correctly tighten nuts and bolts once you take that bike out on the street, pop a wheelie and the front wheel flies off!

    2. Look at the bright side. Now you get to teach them how to drill out the mistake, and possibly how to use the tap and die.

  2. Good article Jak and, yes, highly applicable even outside of marriage.

    What I know about marriage can be written on a grain of rice by a gorilla with Parkinson’s, but good delegation abilities is pretty much the whole ball of wax in corporate settings.

    “In the corporate world, this might be different, but with your family don’t be afraid to praise your wife and kids for their accomplishments. Let them know they did a good job and you are proud of them.”
    Here I don’t think it is different at all. Basic carrot and stick. There is no one in the world that doesn’t like to be told they are doing a good job and being given praise is nearly as powerful motivator as being given money — especially if the person you are praising respects you.
    We do have a saying at my company which is “monkeys and clowns dance for applause, the rest of us do our jobs” but that said, making sure your employees or even coworkers know you recognize their hard work is essential.
    The real big difference between family and corporate settings the not the carrot, but the stick. There are no second chances. I will delegate and unless asked directly to intervene I will turn my attention elsewhere and just assume the issue is resolved. How it gets resolved doesn’t matter to me one bit. There is an outcome I want, I give it to a person I believe is capable and move on expecting full well that it will be handled and when it is we move to the next thing. The stick, on the other hand, is terminal. There is no second chance. There is no excuse. If you are given a job and you say you can handle it and over the course of time never mention that you need help or are confused or stuck (all totally acceptable) and then that job is botched you no longer are employed. Harder to do with a wife I imagine, nearly impossible with a kid.

    1. ” If you are given a job and you say you can handle it and over the course of time never mention that you need help or are confused or stuck (all totally acceptable)”

      Spot on here. People are too afraid to say “i dont know how to do this” or “Can you show me this?” I think they’re afraid that the person will think they are incompetent, but I’ve learned that you end up fucking yourself worse by NOT asking for help. My father has a saying “A real man asks for help” because he values the mission outcome more than his own pride.

      1. Absolutely. It is crazy. I have seen people who will fuck HUGE things up simply because they won’t turn to someone and say “hey, can you explain this to me?” It’s nuts. I know it is the beating of a dead horse with the battle of the sexes, but I do find, oddly enough, that this applies more to women.

        At first this confused me because I would think that it would be women who would be more inclined to ask for help and direction. My theory, though it is by no means conclusive, is that women in the workforce are absolutely petrified to in any way admit they don’t belong there. They need to hold onto the “anything a man can do I can do better” shit so much that they will tank their own fucking careers just to avoid saying they don’t understand something.

        1. I see that a lot, too. The stereotype is the Macho Man who refuses to ask for direction and is too stubborn to ask for help or information. The reality I see is that confident, masculine guys are more willing to say “Hey, teach me how to do this so I can do it myself.” Women and feminine males are more likely to try to do it on their own and botch it. I’ve noticed that feminine males will then try to hide the mistake, while the women will generally try to blame it on someone else, or say they did it right but there was something out of their control that screwed up the result.

          1. I am very suspect when I give someone an assignment and they have NO follow-up questions. Usually means they weren’t listening, dont understand the task, and/or want me to believe they already know everything.

            1. Yeah, that’s a good point. Although, sometimes if I am assigning someone a difficult task, and at the end of 20 minutes explaining to them what I need to do, if they then immediately ask me a simple question about the very first step, I then usually know that they are going to fuck it all up. Because I know they spent that entire 20 minutes holding onto that question and not listening to the rest of what I said.

          2. ” feminine males will then try to hide the mistake, while the women will generally try to blame it on someone else, or say they did it right but there was something out of their control that screwed up the result.”

            1. I have to say, I much prefer the person who at least admits its fucked up and lets me know, even if they do it by blaming someone else. The person that just hides the shit and covers it all up…. that just makes it 10 times worse when it eventually comes to light.

          3. I think it is a pride (biblical definition) thing. A career girl may be more prone to it, but I don’t think it is universal.

        2. they will tank their own fucking careers

          Some would risk tanking the entire company. Although, to be fair, some men are like this too. The Peter Principle is real.

          1. absolutely some men are…it’s crazy man. I have a guy who runs low voltage wiring for me who I really like. Some of the other guys on job sites will laugh about him because he is constantly asking questions. But then I will say “keep laughing, his work is finished, well done and I am already cutting his final payment check and you guys are still here”

            1. I’m currently navigating my way around an insecure prick who wants nothing in the way of suggestions or benefiting from the prior experience of others. Feels exactly like he would prefer everyone around him and the company suffer than let on he might actually not know the best way to proceed.

                1. Ouch. I was never like that!

                  He is over 35. Feels the need to arbitrarily assert authority. Everything is a pissing contest.

                  1. Nah – we wouldn’t have been. I just find the attitude you describe to be prevalent among the millennial crowd, give or take.

              1. I hate working with insecure people. I would rather have loud, brash, cocky, arrogant people than insecure any day. Let them butt heads all day long, better than this petty ante bullshit. Gladly I work in a field where loud and aggressive is the norm and insecure people tend not to stick around long enough to make it.

        3. I always thought they did things like that to “prove” themselves…..whatever the hell that means.
          If they want to prove something to me they should call somebody if there is a problem.

          1. Sort of off topic, but I read this article about how using GPS devices actually turns off the part of your brain that tracks where you are and where you are going. Like, once you start staring at Google Maps to tell you where to go, the internal mapping device in your brain shuts down.

            I’ve actually tested that a few times, and just anecdotally, it seems to be true for me. When I follow the turn-by-turn directions to get somewhere, I have a harder time getting back to where I was before. When I find a place on a map and mentally figure out how to get there, then I know where it is and can navigate to and fro at will.

                1. Nah, automatics are made for women because driving manual is too complex. Manuals are where it’s at.

                    1. I refuse to buy an automatic. I hate them.

                      My current ride is a 7 speed manual. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

                    2. enjoy driving yourself while you still can- these new cars wont have steering wheels, break or gas pedals. they will drive you straight to the reeducation camps

                    3. I don’t plan on living until the year 2095 so I’m not really worried about that. Tales of “driverless cars in 5 years” are nonsense. The infrastructure needed to handle that, let alone the technology, which is currently configured apparently to crash into other cars, is way, way way far away. When we stop getting computer failures, then I’ll take it seriously.

                    4. Or even more fun. I imagine a co-location/GPS/Mesh network system whereby they defeat the “what if the sensor gets dirty” issue but then you know what happens next?
                      2 things.

                      1. “Normal” user-operated vehicles not hooked in will not be able to navigate such roads. Expect urban autists, who just can’t put down the smart phone for 2 seconds lest they have to THINK for once, will love this system and clamor for their areas to have it. This allows them their exclusivity of people “not like them” that they love so much.
                      2. When every vehicle has to be “in the system” in order to operate, SJWs will scour social(ist) media to find out who the shitlords are, and then try to cross reference “white supremacy” rallies, gun stores, and anything not gay-related, with where you are trying to go, then block you because hate. Cue the libertardians screaming “private corporation! private corporation!” while Christians continue to get told to bake the fucking cake.

                    5. I dunno, why is congress entertaining legislation like this if its years, not decades, away?
                      I bet 10 yrs from now, they will be onsale

                      Another is the Safely Ensuring Lives Future Deployment and Research in Vehicle Evolution Act – aka the SELF DRIVE Act – which was rubber stamped through Congress the other day. This is the law that exempts automated cars from the safety requirements that apply to autonomous cars – that is, the cars which are independent of government control and controlled by us.


                    6. Congress is rarely if ever a good predictor of technological progress. We’re talking about people whose specialty in life is bamboozling other people, not actual scientists or technologists.

                      I’m telling you right now that the tech is way farther away than all of the optimistic cheering Wired articles are telling us. And even if the tech were 100%, it would still require massive infrastructure changes to accommodate that will need decades to get into place, that they’ve laid down 0.0% of at present date.

                    7. right- congress doesnt write the legislation anymore- the lobbyists do. they just do as they are told. if they arent on the road in 10 years(and this site still exists) I owe you a beer

                    8. If you mean in a production capacity sold to the general public, then you might as well pay up now. I don’t doubt that some prototypes will be thrown unsafely onto the highway.

                      I see this the same way I view those solar/people powered airplanes. Neat ideas that are in theory achievable but are decades away from actual practical use. If I had a nickle for every prediction of “Super Amazing Technology Right Around The Corner, Will Change Your Entire Life In 5 Years!” I’d be a rich, rich man.

                    9. They are not as far off as one would like to think. The actuarial tables the NHTSB came up with are going to drive this technology to market within one car development cycle at most car makers. If you think about it taking control away from all the grandmas going 65 in the left lane and mrs ping pong in the giant SUV jumping 2 lanes for an exit, it actually makes up for the potential accidents where autonomous cars plow into a bus stop.

                    10. I’m not going to believe it until I see it, honestly. There are two models, autonomous automation and centrally controlled automation. The autonomous would be great, except you know, plowing into shit randomly and the centrally controlled would require a massive infrastructure change that we’re nowhere even near beginning yet. In addition, when they do hit the road it won’t be one year and suddenly manual cars are outlawed, so it will have to account for “Random elements” aka human drivers AND motorcycles way more competently than a normal human would for *anybody* to bankroll that kind of risk I’d bet.

                    11. You will see a mixture of both methods. The centralized will be done in high congestion areas ie cities. My guess is using transmission line emf from barriers and the lanes themselves which wouldn’t be terribly expensive or require much infrastructure other than some power lines and sensors/software. As for motorcycles, I envision an orwellian mandate that they all must have 3 wheels president comacho style.

                    12. Bikers are a HUGE bloc of voters and most of them are very politically active (and usually lean far right). Huge. I wouldn’t go to pissing them off too much, were I a politician.

                    13. Good. cant have those helmets scratchin’ up my Buick. Its hard enough to get all the blood and hair out of the grill….

                    14. None in California yet look at all that gun control. Typical boomerism: “Don’t make me wear a helmet!! FREEEEEEEEDOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!! Oh you want to take my guns OK as long as I have my bike, widescreen, tats, and soma”.

                    15. Notice how “out of the box” people behind this think they are, while failing to be out of the box.


                      Notice how the “autonomous” cars are basically just regular cars with electronics thrown in. Why? What rule are they stuck on? Why would such a car even need windows?

                      Why not have a car that is actually soft on the outside so that if it does hit somebody the damage is mitigated? The whole front of the thing could be one giant airbag if needed.

                      It’s not like the huge corporations pushing it cannot build a car from lack of money.

                    16. What’s funny- because the US was so far ahead of the rest of the world regarding the internet, they have some of the shittiest internet infrastructure currently in the entire world. Why? It costs too much to try to upgrade it.

                    17. That’s correct. We pioneered a whole mess of things and went balls out installing it, where other nations really, well, couldn’t even afford it at the time. So we still have telephone poles, etc. that were put in place in the 1930’s while in the 1930’s most other places were anemic at best. Now they don’t have an older infrastructure to deal with so they can just “buy new, install new” whilst we have to deal with upgrading a leviathan sized infrastructure.

                    18. I thought the same about driverless cars. I met a few people from the NHTSB who were working on that exact issue. The house passed a bill last week allowing companies to put cars that don’t meet safety requirements on public roads. I’d be wary around your area because I know of atleast 2 companies there heavily invested in this.


                    19. On my side of the biz planet, I can report that major tech companies are gearing up to deliver advertising to riders in driverless cars. It is the perfect captive audience to bombard with commercials, including location/GPS specific stuff, depending on where you are on the road. And they are ready to go, as soon as the first driverless car hits the road.

                      If the profit stream is set up, the service cannot be far behind.

                    20. “fem sexbots are dying to meet you! press the red button to experience ecstasy- if you dare”

                    21. If memory serves right we have been 5 years from driverless cars since about 1994. More likely to get those plastic tracks you snap together for your hot wheels at this point.

                      That said, a lot of construction is being done with driverless vehicles now which is kind of cool, but it is not like you can really go anywhere in them, you can just program them to do repetitive tasks without the hassle of having someone sit in it.

                    22. There’s a bunch of that sort of stuff out there working, it’s only a matter of time and of course funding before it’s adapted to the roads.
                      The technology for self driving vehicles is mostly already there. I’m old fashioned though and would just as soon drive myself.
                      I can’t lay off rows as straight as AutoPilot can though.

                    23. “its only a matter of time….”
                      till it gets smart and fukkin KILLS US ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                      has NO ONE seen Terminator?!?!?!?

                    24. Even one that isn’t autonomous that’s around that same size is probably 300k. It’ll take a lot of truck loads of corn to pay for one lol

                    25. Air conditioning, TV and I am sure he can squeeze a cooler in there. I could always ask why did he sell the 1936 Ford tractor they used to have. I mean, it was good enough for his father.

                    26. I think this is where the main focus of the technology will apply in real life. Like city grids, automated taxis, that kind of thing. I doubt it will ever be the widespread “thing” most people think it is. And yep, since the mid 90’s we’ve been hearing this swan song.

                    27. yeah, the every day application where bob and jan smith hop in a car with the kids, program in “Disney World” and proceed to play board games, nap, picnic or whatever while the car sees them safe there simply ain’t gonna happen…not our life times at least…and probably not never — even if we do get tractor plow field now or robot smash brown people. In the end, it probably is a good thing.

                    28. Tractors doing farm things is THE perfect application of the technology in my opinion. It’s off the roads, the fields are analyzed to the n-th degree long before a tractor drives on them as modern farming is way, way, way more science than art these days (it’s nearly to the point where I think we’ll be able to start terraforming other worlds based on the technology they use) and is easily programmed around as a result.

                    29. Did you see the link above of that bad ass tractor that Unconfederated listed. Woofa

                    30. Contrary to the bell-curve they like to show, technology can only move at a human pace. So yes, you’re right, there will still be majority-driver cars at least beyond our lifetimes.

                    31. Exactly correct. Hell most offices still have loads of fax machines, and I cannot for the life of me remember when fax machines were ever relevant after 1995. Despite the fact that jet aircraft have been in the world since the late 1930’s (1938 I believe was when the jet engine was born), most aircraft used by normal people and not for commercial reasons are propeller driven, hell, even a lot of smaller commercial aircraft and even military aircraft are propeller driven still. Lots of wistful utopian thinking regarding “driverless cars” methinks.

                      We do live in an age however where after only about 10 years of iZombies, suddenly a huge majority of people now no longer think that handwriting and cursive need to be taught. Talking some really myopic people here.

                    32. I’m not really sure why cursive needs to be taught, outside of the 3-8 letters it takes to sign one’s name. It’s an anachronism, imo. Going through early school, it was impressed upon us that cursive was an essential element, but that was discarded upon entry into Middle School.

                      Handwriting is considerably different, though. Anyone who thinks physical writing needs to not be taught should be lobotomized and castrated.

                    33. First, cursive is much faster to write with. Second, I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to leave translation and interpretation of documents, written in English cursive, to a small elite who can still read it. Seems like way too much shenanigans can occur. Cursive is our natural writing style if you follow the history of our language, to lose it because of 10 years of iZombies is a huge mistake.

                    34. Funny enough, one of the cars I learned to drive with was a 48 Mercury, which had 3 on the column manual.

                    35. Considering how many Americans are incapable of driving a standard, I always thought it would be a good idea to own one.

                    36. Yeah most can’t handle a regular floor standard shift and a column shift standard would make em blow a fuse trying to figure it out.

                    37. First time my brother came to Germany he was pumped that I would allow him to drive on the Autobahn (no speed limit) in my car. He got in with a grin than froze…”F*ck. It’s a standard?!” Dreams dashed.

                      My uncle came over and drove a rental 130 MPH for over an hour in the left lane which ended him blowing the engine out. Heh.

                    38. I’m forced to post this now. I’ve resisted the temptation to do so, but now I feel that I’ve put in my time and have properly earned this.

                      My 2014 Corvette that I just bought (5000 miles only on odo) is a 7 speed manual. I can guarantee you that the number of people who are a) car thieves and b) drive stick are approaching 0.0% these days. Ain’t nobody stealing my ride.

                      And brother…it is a sweeeet ride. Red with black trim, convertible, Z51 LTR3, with a 6.2L V8 that just smears other cars between lights AND on the highway. Getting it to 3 digits on the speedometer is ridiculously easy to do if you’re not paying attention.

                      Next time you’re out I’ll have to let you give it a spin (with me in passenger). You’ll dig it.

                    39. I used to have an old Nissan manual.
                      Tough little car.
                      For a short while, the brakes were bad, so bad that I was the only person on the planet who could drive it. Very tricky.

                      Some random night 3 diverse scholars decided to remove the burden from me, gun in hand, I chuckled, gave them the keys, ran inside.
                      They did not make it out the parking lot.

                      I left lots of details out of the encounter.
                      Highlights, I stabbed one, he had to go to hospital. He snitched on others. They all got many years in prison.

                    40. Good luck with the new Vette – that’s a great car! Very few high-performance cars available these days with a manual trans. I will Never tire of bangin’ gears!

                      Ghost, your post really resonates… I’ve thought about it at times, but to see it in writing: “I can guarantee you that the number of people who are a) car thieves and b) drive stick are approaching 0.0% these days. Ain’t nobody stealing my ride.” It’s really a crazy concept, isn’t it?… No amount of upvotes or likes will EVER replace the feeling of horsepower. I’ll go to the grave with my old, arthritic hands gripping on to that gear shift.

                    41. I’m guessing based on some vague recollection of reading it at one time, like 3:22 to 1? I think? Maybe 3:24 to 1?

                    42. NOW we agree.
                      Anything after about…..1984? Crap.
                      If I’m buying a Cadillac, God as my witness, I will have FINS!

                    43. I used to have an 84 Fleetwood Brougham, but I sold it a couple years back. That was a smooth-riding tank though.

                    44. Oh yeah, fins…powder blue with white rag top, white leather front bench seat and a white steering wheel that looks like it belongs on a 75 foot sail boat

                    45. hahahah.. o, they are terrible compared to a floor-shift. It’s like a half hour getting from 1st to 2nd through all that mechanical slop!

                    46. Ferrari no longer makes manual transmission…not even on special request. They have that triptonic race transmission thing, so not exactly automatic either, but you can’t get a stick in a Ferrari anymore.

                    47. Those ‘race transmission’ thingees, like the paddles and what not are the stuff of video games….
                      You know, the big ones you sat in and cost 50 cents

                    48. Ha. They are pretty silly. I drove a car with them. It’s still an automatic just by another flavor.
                      I miss big race car video games….best part of going to the movies.

                    49. Talk about Ferrari – this is one of the best “on board” videos I’ve seen in years. The 250 GTO with that V12, just incredible sound!

                  1. better gas mileage and you have more control over your vehicle. It is like riding a motorcycle. If the rear wheel slips you throw more torque into it at a lower gear.

                    1. Yep yep. Some dunderhead at a bar was rambling on about how automatics are just all around better, blah blah fucking blah and I told him that we should do a race through the Rockies, just like a 10 mile stretch in Wyoming, and see who finishes first. Same car, same specs, his automatic and mine standard. I’d wipe the road with him on all of those turns. The control with a manual can not be beat.

                    2. On straightaway racing I have no doubt that they are at or surpass manual. Because everytime you hit the clutch the power curve plummets. In races where half a second count, you shifting three to four times is going to get you a second place trophy compared to some guy with an automatic slam transmission.

                      On curves, nope, that shit is very particular and shifting isn’t just one set thing that you “do normally”, and depends entirely on *what* you intend to do going into and coming out of the turn. I don’t see automatics ever really mastering that because it’s more on the driver and his skill than it is on a predictable routine I’d think. Straightaways you just want to go in a straight line from point A to point B so there, no problem thinking automatics will dominate.

                    3. “depends entirely on *what* you intend to do going into and coming out of the turn.”
                      Excellent point. For all their analysis of STATUS, automatics have not yet learned to intuit.

                    4. I remember going to Germany to visit their MAN factory (commercial over the road truck manufacturer) Every engineer spends 2 years troubleshooting, fixing, and driving vehicles before they design even a hose clamp. Thanks to feminism and greed, hands-on training has been eliminated in all engineering programs. (unless you choose electives geared toward mechanics of structures or actually manufacturing processes). The university wants more graduate students = more $$$ and more women enrolling = $$$$ . Women would get turned off by having to get heir hands dirty or learning something uncomfortable.

                    5. there is some irony in there….
                      – German woman employed by MAN working on trucks/buses
                      – German woman voting to import rapist/invaders
                      – German woman gets run over & killed by rapist/invaders driving the very MAN truck/bus she worked on
                      the circle is complete.

                    6. OK that’s a new one. I may prefer automatics myself, but I don’t think I’ve heard anyone trying to claim that they’re better than a manual for efficiency. That’s just nuts.

                  2. ha. I drove manual all my life. One year I needed to take a bunch of family members up to a funeral and my car was a little two door job so I rented some big truck like an excursion or some shit. Obviously the rental was an auto and I had never drove one before. Between getting in that car in the lot of enterprise and getting out onto the road I nearly crashed it like 3 times with my left leg just jutting out and smashing the break involuntarily. It was really difficult for the first 30 minutes or so.

                    1. I still do that if I ever have the misfortune of driving an automatic, like nearly word for word what you experienced. I’ve only owned manual cars.

                    2. I haven’t drove an automatic in many years, but I imagine it would be the same. It really was funny. There is part of me that wished I got into a small no one gets hurt accident just so I could tell the cop that it was my fault because I don’t know how to drive automatic.

                    3. That’s funny! I’ve always preferred a manual trans myself.

                      Your story sounds like me with this new Dodge Ram with the dial shifter. I’ve owned the previous versions (with the traditional shifter in the center console). I’ve had this new truck since December and I’m still not completely used to this damn dial feature. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve made a quick stop somewhere, left it running, put the parking break on and got out of the truck. When I get back in the truck, I notice that it’s still in Drive! – Luckily with the parking brake engaged… I can only imagine coming back out to the truck one day and it’s crept out into traffic.

                  3. Yeah a cornball rebuild has my wheels stuck only going in reverse. (Note: it’s not a Jeep).
                    Would like to convert the whole thing to a manual, but the kit, including tranny (yes, tranny – fuck them, we’ve used tranny forever, we’re taking that word back!) is over 3 grand. I have 3 grand, but man I could just get a new tranny for around 1200 tested sealed and warrantied and do other shit with the money.

                  4. I have an alternative viewpoint. Why the hell should I have to change gears for a machine? That’s the stupid car’s job. 😀

                    Of course, now I’m in a country where people don’t even know what an automatic is. My automatic (that took 6 months to even get here, normally they just sell sticks) gets all kinds of comments. Like “How do you drive this thing?” “American cars are weird.” (It’s a Japanese car. Somehow that doesn’t matter.) Or my personal favorite: “Is this a smart car?” 😀

                    1. For the control and precision it gives you regarding the car. It’s like asking why use Linux when you can use Apple. Well if you’re only doing XYZ type activities then Apple is perfectly legit to use, but if you’re a real power user/higher end type that wants ultimate tweaking control over the OS, you go with Linux.

              1. Considering some of the directions that come along with some of those DIY furniture things, though, actually putting it together might make you a sculptor or some shit.

            1. I would agree on this, like a crutch slows healing for some if they overuse it. However, finding a particular address in Los Angeles or some other major city almost necessitates stuff like that. It sure can be a pain in the butt to deliver at some address you never have been to.

            2. I was thinking the other day about how many phone numbers I had memorized back in the day. Now I might know a dozen or so. It’s true that technology makes you mentally lazy.

            1. That statement is surprisingly true. When I was competing in martial arts, a tip I got from my instructor was that if I ever drew a blank and forgot my form, just keep going like I knew exactly what I was doing. With any luck, the judges wouldn’t know the style I was doing and knock off any points.

                    1. Yeah, thinking about it, I must have been performing spectacularly if I held an audience for 20 minutes with zero content.

    2. “I will delegate and unless asked directly to intervene I will turn my attention elsewhere and just assume the issue is resolved.”


      I have a new manger at another site and after the intital bringing up to speed told him exactly that. I also said, “if you are stuck or have a problem, call me day or night and I will help you. Do not wait till the last minute before I walk into the board room. Do you understand?”

      I do not set my people up for failure, but if they do not inform me they are stuggling until it’s too late, I cannot help them.

      1. Exactly. I tell people all the time “the company pays for my cell phone so like it or not you can call me 24/7”

        1. Yup. I check in to follow up on open issues, but if there is no questions from their end or other issues (I hate surprises), I assume it’s under control. I could ask all kinds of pointed questions, but we are all have bigger fish to fry before COB.

            1. Not my call, but it sounds like your managers have to much time on their hands or their priorities are whacked.

                    1. hes in a movie out now- plays a priest. movie about priests and it doesnt slam catholicism- I may even rent it

                    2. He’s one of those actors who always makes we wonder why he isn’t in more stuff. A good actor who always does a good job, but is always relegated to smaller roles and not in a lot of movies. Like Michael Biehn. That dude was good, but he was barely in anything after Terminator and Aliens.

                    3. dont forget The Rock- he got smoked leading those marines in only 1/3 of the way thru the movie!

                1. Love that movie. I worked for software companies in the past and there is some truth in what they were parodying.

                  1. I consider it a documentary of how IT companies operated in the late 1990’s to 2005 or so. They may still do this, but I’ve been work from home for years now and thankfully don’t have any first hand knowledge any longer.

                    1. Oh yeah. My 6 years with a publicly traded software company was around that time. The R&D guys were definitely in their own domain, but the mental cases were the consultants we would send out on site.

                      True story. I befriended one of the senior consultants and he asked me if there were any movies I wanted to see and I mentioned “Office Space.” He said he would down load and burn me a copy. He showed up to work the next day in the afternoon and told me he watched the movie and had an epiphany. He actually started showing up to work when he felt like it and was catching flack from HR. The company gets bought out, most of us fired and he was kept on and promoted to professional services manager. LOL.

    3. Harder to do with a wife I imagine, nearly impossible with a kid.

      This is true, but I think as a father, you have to realize that you never give assign a task to a kid with the overall goal of getting the task done. You give it to the kid to teach the kid something, and you always have to have the understanding in the back of your mind that that is the overall goal, not the accomplishment of the task.

      Even if it is mowing the lawn, and the kid has mowed the lawn 100 times before, so he knows how to do it. You are assigning him the task to teach him about responsibility and consistently doing what you have to do. Having the lawn actually get mowed is a side benefit.

      You really have to think about it like this, because the kid will fuck it up. Even if he has mowed the lawn 1000 times before, he will eventually find a way to fuck it up, or just forget or whatever. If you are totally focused on the lawn getting mowed, and you’re all pissed at it not being mowed, then you are missing the point, as well as a good opportunity to teach your kid.

      Getting the lawn mowed is your responsibility. Teaching the kid is also your responsibility, and its the more important. Killing two birds with one stone is nice, but ultimately making sure both get done well is on you.

                    1. I first found ROK when the tattoo article came out. I was all over the comments section then. I left a month later.

  3. Delegation is something I have always had a hard time doing. After all there are only two ways to do something: my way and the wrong way, lol. I have gotten better about it now that I am older and do delegate more to my wife than I used to. And actually engaging her in some of my duties and projects has strengthened our relationship.

    Part of my resistance to delegation came from my father. When I would go to him for help, he would often take over the project and do it for me, instead of showing me how. I realize this was the easiest and fastest approach and that’s why took it. I ended up learning a lot about the use of tools from books and then hands on when he wasn’t around to interfere.

    I also believe that I took an interest in making and repairing fine jewelry because it was the one he didn’t know how to do. I will never forget the day in my mid twenties when he asked me to set two stones for the eyes in a metal sculpture he was working on. When I got done, he looked at my work and said “You’re better at that than I am and probably always will be.” I damn near fainted, but I knew I had arrived.

    1. Man, I see a lot of myself in your comment… both how my father was and how I am. I terrible about using the “easiest and fastest approach” of just taking it over and doing it myself.

      1. That’s a laziness I suffer from as well – I’d MUCH rather do something myself, so that its just me and the task, rather than having to fight my way through some dolt to achieve the same end.

        1. The trouble is when that “dolt” is your child, you do them a great disservice by not patiently showing them how and then standing back and letting them fumble through it. It’s the only way you can learn most crafts. All the book theory and YouTube videos in the world will never develop your manual dexterity and muscle memory. You have to do the work to get good at it.

    2. I still have a hard time delegating things to others because my way or no way. However I have learned that if they are reasonably competent I can tell them what to do then walk away and find something else for ME to do and when I come back, it’s done.
      If I hang around and watch the whole time I try to take over.

      1. can’t do that with kids though (at least mine for the most part) If I leave, it will look about the same or worse as when I left.

        1. Give them time it will get better. For a long time when my son and I worked on something he would stand around handing me wrenches and asking questions. Now I usually hang around and hand wrenches to him.

            1. Once it starts you’ll be ready to move past that stage lol


  4. OT- did anybody else here have to deal with Irma, holy smokes I’ve never seen wind blow that hard for that long it had the whole house shaking a few times. As bad of a mess as we have here it must be really bad to the south.

      1. He did, didn’t he? I wish he would come help me cut up all the chinaberry trees that are in the road so we can get out of here lol

      1. Y’all got a bad deal with Harvey just sitting in one spot and pouring out rain. Irma just dropped 8 inches then blew everything away but she’s gone now.
        As far as I can tell this whole county is dark tonight and it’s so quiet I can’t go to sleep lol.

    1. Nah, but Utah is on fire n’shit. Kinda eerie knowing there’s a whole mountain range a mile away but the smoke’s so bad you can’t see it.

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