The wife and I are pretty busy people. Between the kids, the house, and all the other things we have to do, it can get hectic and sometimes you forget that you’re in a relationship with another person. Sometimes we even feel tense until we realize that we haven’t “been acting like a couple” for a while. Today I’ll discuss what can lead to this and how we fix it.
What Causes This to Erode
Simply put, stress, obligations and commitments. The bigger thing at play here is a combination of things.
First, work sucks for most everyone, so coming home and bitching about it (or anything really) to your wife isn’t a good idea. If she works too, she’ll probably be telling you a bunch of shit about people you don’t know anyway. Leave work at the office if you can, and even if you have to work at home, don’t complain.
If you have kids, that’s another factor. Between carting them around to MMA, Soccer, Dance, Gymnastics and Horseback riding, school events etc, you’re apart from your wife even more. Plus kids arguing and not paying attention to things can cause you to get even more stressed.
Third, the everyday shit we all have to deal with can be stacked on top of this. Yard work, preparing food, cleaning the house, getting the garbage outside, laundry, and paying bills after all this other stuff can leave you feeling like you’re about to collapse, yet somehow us guys kill it each week. You bust your ass all week, cross every T and dot every I,but being an autonomous Like every other facet of the red pill, we have to control every part of it.
How To Make Things Great Again
There are a few methods I use that I believe can help you guys feel like the days you first met if life is getting to you. Follow the list below:
1. Bang ANY CHANCE YOU CAN
First and foremost, if you guys don’t fuck well, then its going to crash and burn. I cant stress how important this is. Even though we’ve said vows, I am not a sucker and know AWALT stays true no matter what. If she isn’t interested in getting it from you, she’ll get it from somewhere else.
Also, be spontaneous with sex. Cant tell you how many times the baby was down for a nap and the kids out with their grandparents that I just basically grabbed her by the wrist and marched to the bedroom. Also, for those guys who say “shes not in the mood”, I say bullshit. I’ve taken her from having just changed a diaper and put my son to sleep to ready to go in minutes. Spontaneity is your friend. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve “fixed everything” with a random quickie. heh!
2.Do Things Without the Kids
Hauling the kids around all the time is fine, but you should also arrange to get a sitter every now and then. So many people are miserable because you can only go to the bounce house, playground, and be surrounded by children for so long. I love my children, and love being around them, but do make time to do something with your wife (other than bang) when the kids are around.
You don’t even have to wine and dine her to have fun. A nice drive in the country. Going for a walk through a park. Even staying home and working on a project together, or watching a movie can be rewarding. Parenting is fun and rewarding, but you owe it to yourself to have some “normal” couple time.
3. Do Things For Yourselves
This is a pretty big one. As much as you need to do things with your wife and kids, and things with just your wife, you need time to yourself doing things you want to do. You going to shoot the shit with your buddies or her and her mother/cousins going to get their nails done is fine. This isn’t that “I NEED ME TIME” type of bullshit “girls nights.” either. Just a quick break from the action. Going out to shoot, hitting the gym, or some other rewarding activity will help you collect yourself. Time alone doing something that is rewarding to you is important.
When dealing with the everyday grind as a man running a family, we can forget to be a couple with our wives. Try some of the methods here if you and the wife haven’t felt quite like the couple you once were. In the end, we’re a social creature, and while hustling and kicking ass in life is what we all should be doing, we need to make sure that side of things are taken care of too. Comment below if you have any other tips or ideas.