Remembering to Be a Couple

The wife and I are pretty busy people.  Between the kids, the house, and all the other things we have to do, it can get hectic and sometimes you forget that you’re in a relationship with another person.  Sometimes we even feel tense until we realize that we haven’t “been acting like a couple”  for a while. Today I’ll discuss what can lead to this and how we fix it.

What Causes This to Erode

Simply put, stress, obligations and commitments.  The bigger thing at play here is a combination of things.

First, work sucks for most everyone, so coming home and bitching about it (or anything really) to your wife isn’t a good idea.  If she works too, she’ll probably be telling you a bunch of shit about people you don’t know anyway.  Leave work at the office if you can, and even if you have to work at home, don’t complain.

If you have kids, that’s another factor.  Between carting them around to MMA, Soccer, Dance, Gymnastics and Horseback riding, school events etc, you’re apart from your wife even more.   Plus kids arguing and not paying attention to things can cause you to get even more stressed.

Third, the everyday shit we all have to deal with can be stacked on top of this.  Yard work, preparing food, cleaning the house, getting the garbage outside, laundry, and paying bills after all this other stuff can leave you feeling like you’re about to collapse, yet somehow us guys kill it each week.  You bust your ass all week, cross every T and dot every I,but being an autonomous   Like every other facet of the red pill, we have to control every part of it.

How To Make Things Great Again

There are a few methods I use that I believe can help you guys feel like the days you first met if life is getting to you.  Follow the list below:

1. Bang ANY CHANCE YOU CAN

First and foremost, if you guys don’t fuck well, then its going to crash and burn.  I cant stress how important this is.  Even though we’ve said vows, I am not a sucker and know AWALT stays true no matter what.  If she isn’t interested in getting it from you, she’ll get it from somewhere else.

Also, be spontaneous with sex.  Cant tell you how many times the baby was down for a nap and the kids out with their grandparents that I just basically grabbed her by the wrist and marched to the bedroom.  Also, for those guys who say “shes not in the mood”, I say bullshit. I’ve taken her from having just changed a diaper and put my son to sleep to ready to go in minutes. Spontaneity is your friend.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve “fixed everything” with a random quickie. heh!

2.Do Things Without the Kids

Hauling the kids around all the time is fine, but you should also arrange to get a sitter every now and then.  So many people are miserable because you can only go to the bounce house, playground, and be surrounded by children for so long.  I love my children, and love being around them, but do make time to do something with your wife (other than bang) when the kids are around.

You don’t even have to wine and dine her to have fun.  A nice drive in the country.  Going for a walk through a park.  Even staying home and working on a project together, or watching a movie can be rewarding.  Parenting is fun and rewarding, but you owe it to yourself to have some “normal” couple time.

3. Do Things For Yourselves

This is a pretty big one.  As much as you need to do things with your wife and kids, and things with just your wife,  you need time to yourself doing things you want to do.  You going to shoot the shit with your buddies or her and her mother/cousins going to get their nails done is fine.  This isn’t that “I NEED ME TIME” type of bullshit “girls nights.” either.  Just a quick break from the action.  Going out to shoot,  hitting the gym, or some other rewarding activity will help you collect yourself.  Time alone doing something that is rewarding to you is important.

Conclusion

When dealing with the everyday grind as a man running a family, we can forget to be a couple with our wives.  Try some of the methods here if you and the wife haven’t felt quite like the couple you once were.  In the end, we’re a social creature, and while hustling and kicking ass in life is what we all should be doing, we need to make sure that side of things are taken care of too.  Comment below if you have any other tips or ideas.

 

-J. Nyx

 

Author: Jnyx

J. Nyx is a father of three and co-owner of akingscastle.com. He understands that there is something missing in the community and that you can be a traditional, masculine man in our current age as well as a dedicated leader of your family.

  • NemesisEnforcer

    My tip: make the decisions. Where to go/what to have for dinner? You decide. What to do with the family on a sunny afternoon? You choose. What movie to see on date night? Don’t give her a choice, tell her what you’re going to see. The trick with any of these is don’t pick something you know she’ll absolutely hate or she’ll take it as an intentional provocation. But so long as you are at least in a range of choices that she is receptive to, you will find that being relieved of decision making duties makes her much happier. Take it from someone who went through a brief phase during my marriage where I tried to subvert my natural inclination to decide and give her that opportunity thinking that it would make her happy. Result: catastrophic failure until I reverted to form.

    • Jim Johnson

      very true, since discovering the manosphere, I have taken from the articles and made more of the decisions (involving her input, but still making the final decision) It has helped return the traditional roles and we act more like a couple.

    • bem

      I learned (the hard way of course) that the whole “i dunno what do YOU wanna do” routine is death.
      That’ll dry her up faster than baby powder…

      • L’UltimoConservatore

        Oh boy will it ever! Learned the hard way myself on that one as well. As long as you pick something she’ll probably like, it’s essential to take the lead.

        • Jim Johnson

          Agreed, need to listen to her hints, but heed them only when you feel like it.

        • bem

          right? I thought she’d LOVE a wet T-shirt contest at the beach?!?!?

          • Jim Johnson

            Monster trucks and mud wrestling is the best.

          • NemesisEnforcer

            She didn’t? Divorce.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            If you’re doing it right, she will.

            • bem

              If my wife suddenly became “into” that kind of thing I’d be looking for a lawyer…

              • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

                Why? If it’s light hearted and she’s just an observer with you, then no harm no foul. If she wants to get on the stage well THEN you have an issue that is going to require Johnny Legal to swoop in and deal with.

      • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

        Very true. Leading in the relationships you have is mandatory if you expect to not be relegated to a throw away beta status. I’ll ask what she’s in the mood for to eat, but will always pick the restaurant and venue. Normally the expectation is that I don’t even have to ask what she’s in the mood to eat most of the time, so it’s a rare treat for her when I do.

      • Doktor Jeep

        Or you get “stink-pussyed” if you still manage to have sex.

      • Art

        FFS bem, I thought a crusty old architect like you would’ve engineered THE solution to that problem long ago – the only possible answer to that is, when in doubt, drill her.

        “What was the question?”

    • La’darell Luthor

      No matter what they say, they want you to make the decisions. Why? It’s a show of confidence, and women almost exclusively respect confidence.

      • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

        but you also have to give them their way sometimes. Once I met a woman in a bar and followed her out to her car and took the initiative to decide she was going to have sex with me. I pushed her behind a dumpster and ripped her clothes off and started having sex with her and she screamed, like really screamed “STOP! PLEASE THINK OF MY CHILDREN” which I thought was creepy, but, ya know, you just have to give them their way sometimes. So I went through her purse and looked at a picture of her kids while I finished up. It was actually pretty great. I was glad I listened and wasn’t all macho like “no, I am not going to do what you say.” it’s good to be open minded.

        • La’darell Luthor
        • dckhead_con_artist

          I would have lost my hard on when she said “my children” .

          • Murdoc34

            Your literal is showing.

          • Chip Baskets

            Unless shes got a hot teenage daughter.

            • dckhead_con_artist

              I wouldn’t have guessed Hippo is a single mom chaser. He seems more experienced than that. The bottom of the barrel single moms are more for the guys like me who don’t have the time to always meet women. I won’t even go on a date anymore with a single mom. I will only entertain a one night completely free bang from a single mom.

        • Art

          That sounds like poor old Rodney Dangerfield RIP telling the same story about how his wife got drilled by some rando behind a dumpster in Manhattan while he was in Chicago…

    • Doktor Jeep

      My mother had something to say on this sort of thing some years ago. In reference to watching my sister give her kids something like 5 choices of food for breakfast and the calamity that causes, I’m reminded that women are not as far from being “like a child” as a man is (hence the “women and children first” cliche which is not based on any white-knightery but in reality on the tendency towards hysterics in an emergency and hence making sure they get on the lifeboat first is a means of making sure they get on it at all. No dude is going to just scream and panic and curl up into a ball and “get away with that” – his pathetic ass is left behind).

      Therefore, we don’t give women “5 choices” either. Numerous times I did this and ended up having to decide for both of us anyway.

      Meanwhile, is the tendency for a married couple to just “get fat and stop having sex” in any way related to “lesbian bed death” where lesbian couples just get fat (really really fat) and stop having sex? I wonder sometimes.

      • Nevsky

        Last time I allowed my girl to help me with our trip planning, it resulted in a very upleasant experience.

        She’s very frugal and doesnt like spending money on fun. So when I was about to book a hotel for our road trip, she seemed very upset about the price. In order to make her feel better I picked the cheapest one.

        The hotel turned out to be a dump – filthy, stinky, full of alcoholics and degenerates. In the end we had to re-book for a nicer room. Paid almost double of the original price for a bit more decent room.

        If she didnt interfere with my hotel picking – we’d be in a nice hotel from the start and didnt have those nasty experiences that made our trip less enjoyable. And…we’d save money.

        My lesson – decide yourself, ignore her mood, she will get with the program later.

        In the end, the trip overall was great (apart from the hotel). She was ecstatic and happy.

        Womem really dont know what they want.

        • Doktor Jeep

          But when they declare that they know what they want and demand it, let her have it.

      • Reyngout

        Doktor Jeep, great to see you here. When i was a kid I had a choice for any meal. Take it or leave it. lol

      • Jayne says…

        “is the tendency for a married couple to just “get fat and stop having sex” in any way related to “lesbian bed death”

        Yes. When a woman is married to a pussy, this is exactly what you get.

    • Agreed Nemesis. They absolutely love being a co-pilot.

  • Jim Johnson

    I can’t agree more. You need to make time for yourself and your wife. I love that the oldest kids are now old enough to watch the baby. It opens the door to spontaneous evenings of taking the wife out and hammering her under the stars, then coming back to put the kids to bed and stuff like that.

    • bem

      “taking the wife out and hammering her under the stars”
      I’ll say it again – you should be writing for Hallmark….

      • Jim Johnson

        I always have this fear of sounding too preachy

        • bem

          The late great Sam Kineson was a preacher….

          • Jim Johnson

            Dude could squirt blood from his eyes and it would come off as funny.

          • John Galt

            You ever here about Sam’s last few minutes before he died? No joke.

            • bem

              When is anyone’s last few minutes a joke?

              • Jim Johnson

                read my upcoming camping article, it easily could have been.

                • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                  I assume it ended like this:

                  • bem

                    HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

                    PERFECT!!!!

                    • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                      to me, he is the greatest hollywood dad of all-time- they all hold it together, even if its going to shit, until the very end of the adventure(@the 88 minutes pt in movie time)

                    • bem

                      absolutely.

              • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

                I totally intend to go out on a joke

                • John Galt

                  Epitath: “I told you I was sick.”

                  • bem

                    forgot that guys name….band leader from the Old Days..

                • bem

                  Does it count if I’m there, laughing?

                • jammyjaybird

                  I intend to go out with a fifth in one hand and the top of a hooker’s ass in the other. I’m gonna be a debauched old man.

                  • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

                    I was actually hoping for Godfather III Michael Corleone sitting in the garden in quiet repose in a lawn chair and peacefully lumping to the side.

                    • bem

                      nah – if we’re Going Godfather I’ll take the classic “have a heater while screwing around in the garden with a orange peel in my mouth”

                    • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

                      I like it, but the inclusion of children bothers me. I like Michael’s soliftude.

                    • bem

                      Agreed. Glad I’m not the only one that finds the “o but you’ll die alone!” scenario to be ideal..

                    • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

                      I feel like dying is the one moment where you can truly be selfish and just enjoy and that’s coming from me…close on the most selfish person ever

                      If I have to suffer the sounds of others I I’ll refuse to die

                    • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

                      Now I’m laughing about police chief Wiggum knowing the mob was involved because of all the orange peels outside the window

                • Chip Baskets

                  As a yoot, I was fascinated by spontaneuous human combustion.
                  I thought that would be a fun way to go, in public, lots of people, dozens at least.
                  Make a big show of it, really freak people out.

              • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

                Oscar Wilde’s last words – “Either this wallpaper goes, or I do!” And then he died. I think he did it right, lol.

                • jammyjaybird

                  My grandfather’s last words: “O’Reilly Factor”, pointing at the television. He died an hour later.

                  • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

                    O’Reilly’s show is enough to cause anybody congestive heart failure. Never understood the appeal he has to anybody on any side of the political spectrum, he seems to waffle with whatever is popular at the time.

                    • Induced Triggering

                      I think you just described his appeal. Having a TV personality tell you in soothing, authoritative words how right you are is something most people love.

                  • bem

                    No!
                    what a terrible way to go…

                  • Consolation_of_Philosophy

                    That sounds tragically like Dave Bowman pointing in incomprehension at the Monolith at the foot of his bed.

            • Jim Johnson

              took me a few minutes, but I get it

              • John Galt

                Not joking. According to witnesses he was was pleading with an unseen entity before he passed and simply said, “ok” and died.

                • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

                  I have also read this. A lot of people think he made some shady dealins with the prince of darkness.

                  • bem

                    That or maybe SEVERE head trauma.

                  • John Galt

                    Not sure. He was self-destructive at one time and said some outlandish shit I recall LMAO about.

                    • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

                      yeah, but supposedly at the time of his death he had been clean for a while….which was kind of the irony…he was on such a downward spiral with drugs and booze for so long that once he sobered up he died in a car accident.

                    • John Galt

                      I knew a couple of guys like that (reboudning and tragic death), but don’t we all?

                    • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                      i think the guy who hit him was drunk

                    • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

                      as my dry cleaner might say, the ironing is delicious.

                • jammyjaybird

                  Kinison also had 30% brain damage from a car accident when he was a kid. When they released him from the hospital he was so aggressive that he was nearly feral. That’s why he screamed on stage. He had almost no impulse control.

                  • John Galt

                    I knew about him being a preacher and coke head, but didn’t know that.

                  • bem

                    sounds like bullshit. Kid probably just needed a Good Smack.

                    • Chip Baskets

                      Everyone knows one knock on the noggin makes you a dimwit, then a following cranium crunch puts you back to normal.
                      According to all my research on carto….. Er documentaries.

                    • bem

                      also a leading cause/cure of amnesia

          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            My favorite story about Sam which I repeat whenever relevant is from Based on A True Story which is Norm McDonald’s somewhat true but mostly bullshit autobiography.
            Anyway, in the very beginning before he starts going on tangents about spending years in jail and bribing lorne micheles with heroin, he starts out with some good old young comedian stories.
            So apparently (and I fact checked this it is true) a young Norm opened for Sam Kineson in a bunch of clubs first in Canada and then in the US. So Sam and Norm get on this plane from one part of Canada to another and Sam is holding a lot of cocaine both in his pockets and in his blood stream.
            So they sit down and Sam asks for a drink and the stew tells him that he has to wait until he is in the air. Norm explains in no uncertain terms that denying Sam Kineson a drink at any moment is bad but when he is filled with a lot of cocaine it gets worse.
            So the pilot comes on the radio and says “This is Captain Johnson and bla bla bla” and Sam Starts fucking screaming at the top of his lungs “NOOOOOO NOT CRASH JOHNSON! GET ME OFF THIS FUCKING PLANE!!!! CRASH JOHNSON CRASHED 20 TIMES LAST YEAR” and he is going on and on, passengers freaking out. Long story short, he was placated by the stew handing him the booze he had wanted.

            • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

              What a time, the 1980’s. Today the plan would be “force landed” and he’d be taken off by armed security and charged with at least 10 bullshit “TSA crimes”.

              • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

                Yeah, this would have been 1987-1990 when he was a club performer in Canada that no one ever heard of. Also, if that happened today there would be a lot of inquires, especially since Kinneson has been dead for so long

                • Art

                  By the way, ya think there’s any meat still left on the bones?

              • NemesisEnforcer

                Too optimistic. With coke in his pockets, he would have been pulled out of the screening line and the TSA would be committing 4th amendment crimes on him in a separate, secluded detention room.

                • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

                  I’m ever the optimist I guess.

        • L’UltimoConservatore

          “…hammering her under the stars…”

          Don’t let it go to your head, but that’s the good kind of preachy. 🙂

      • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

        mix it up bem….break into a whoopee cushion factory, fill them all up and bang your woman until all the whoopee cushions are spent.

        • bem

          pfoo!
          that was my 5th anniversary!

  • John Galt

    Oh hell yes Jynx. On all counts. It keeps you sane and happy which is reciprocated.

    Occassionally get a baby sitter and tell the wife to get out the little black number, we’re going out Saturday night. We’re over 40, so we dress to the 9s and hit a swank piano bar or go to a jazz cellar. We have a good laugh. Little dancing and some top shelf booze. We draw attention, which women seem to enjoy, but a good looking couple having a good time will do that.

    • Jim Johnson

      Yup, a nice date of getting dressed up and a dinner/dance is always a hit. One of the most important classes I took in college was swing dance with my then fiance.

      • John Galt

        Did over a year of private ball room dance courses with an old girlfirend. I could do the tango fairly well and if I found a female dance partner at a wedding, we could raise a few eyebrows.

        • bem

          Too many times I’ve seen the ballroom lessons become the Last Gasp of a dying marriage….
          Instead, I would encourage anyone to do it as soon as possible, if for no other reason, than then one you say. In your 20s and 30s you’re going to go to about 1500 weddings and it is definitely something to keep your date occupied. The last thing you want is to see your woman “admiring” another couple who can dance well.

          • John Galt

            “ballroom lessons become the Last Gasp of a dying marriage….”

            Learned in my 20s, but seen that too. Dance isn’t a substitute for sex. In the end neither of them wanted to be there and the marriage was long dead before they walked in the door.

            Confidently asking a cute wedding guest who is bouncing in her seat to dance, after politely asking her husband/ boyfriend for his permission first, will get you noticed even if she declines. (The balls of that guy!)

            • bem

              That’s great. In my 20s I was still “Way Too Cool for that Fag Shit”…..(meanwhile, said ‘fags’ were cleaning up!)

              • John Galt

                I wasn’t hip to it, but the ex-girlfriend paid and pleaded and I enjoyed it after a couple of months. The instructor was a fag (natch), but he could teach people to dance.

                • bem

                  I finally caved, er, I mean Came up with a Great Idea, when I was about 40, figuring we’d probably be dead soon.

                  • John Galt

                    Good call. Best thing about being over 40 is the natural ZFG persona.

                    • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

                      So much this. We’ve seen enough in life to filter out 99.9% of the bullshit and not get too excited about the 0.01% that we have to deal with personally. Whether a girl (or even another guy) cares or judges us for how we deal with it literally makes no difference at all to us. It’s a good feeling.

                    • Jim Johnson

                      Yup, I remember being so embarrassed in high school when I drive up with my friends to my house and we see my dad laying in the yard, soaking up the sun, in his coveralls. He just looks over and says “what?”………I am on the fast track of embarrassing my kid’s friends.

                    • bem

                      “I am on the fast track of embarrassing my kid’s friends.”
                      That is gold…..I live for this in my role as Weird Uncle

                    • John Galt

                      True. I find it wierd when people assume I should care about a particular issue or opinion of theirs.

              • Jim Johnson

                I was out of the market when I did it, so I have no reference, but I think it is just one more tool you can put in your box. If you live by it, you will be typecast as faggy and unless you want some theater girl (probably feminist), you won’t do well. But, if you are well rounded in other things, it will be a benefit.

            • Art

              Or, as the large dark gentleman asked the young white fellows at the Otis Day and the Nights show in the bar, ” May we dance wif’ yo’ dates?”

              • John Galt

                Haven’t seen “Animal House” in 20 years. Classic.
                I wouldn’t ask if the woman showed no visual interest in dancing. LOL.

                • Art

                  If she showed no visual interest in dancing, it’s almost always nearly the hour for stepping out with her into the alley, or into the washroom with her if she likes to pretend to be more modest.

      • cheeseburgercheeseburger

        a swingin’ mormon??

        • Jim Johnson

          yup, we are swingers

          • John Galt

            Isn’t that a one way street? LOL.

        • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

          jump, jive and hail (Jesus)

          • bem

            brilliant.

          • Chip Baskets

            It was a Saturday night fish fry

  • L’UltimoConservatore

    “…First, work sucks for most everyone, so coming home and bitching about it (or anything really) to your wife isn’t a good idea. ”

    This one has extra meaning if work isn’t somewhere else but right at home. I’ve found the need to set aside a time for work and a time for not-work. And while I personally love my job, unless the woman is somehow interested in software development (haven’t found a decent one yet who is haha), it’s a smart idea to simply shut up about it entirely.

    Besides, if I were to complain, first I’d have to explain why the complaint was a problem. I’ve stupidly done this a few times. End result was always the same: glossy eyed look and a perpetual “Huh!?” expression. So yeah, shut up about work! 🙂

  • Lou Skunt

    Very valid and important points.

    Laughter has always played a big part in my household. There’s humor to be found everywhere. Life is stressful enough and it’s amazing how a good laugh can break even the longest stress cycle… Don’t forget to have fun!

    • bem

      Laughter has always played a big part in my household

      As long as it aint when you drop yo drawers!

      • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

        I love the meme that says “everyone laughed at a young amy schumer when she said she wanted to be a comedian. Well, no one is laughing now”

        • bem

          she’d be OK if she were funny. and less fat. and less ugly. and somewhere else.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            She used to be a decently normal sized woman at one point. Never funny, ever, but she wasn’t always a Hogzilla. When she started ballooning out she had two choices, one of them was to diet, the other was to scream about how beautiful being fat is. We all know what path she chose.

            • Jim Johnson

              Are there any funny women?

              • bem

                Problem is they go straight to shock/raunch (being girls makes this “edgy”) without developing any sense of wit, linguistics, irony, etc….

                • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                  always go for the triple B’s: muh boobs, muh.box,muh boyfriends

                  • bem

                    Yup. lazy writing, all.

                • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

                  You know, Mick Jagger picked up on this years ago in the song I know It’s Only Rock N Roll (But I like It). Remember this is 1974 so they were all ready feeling some burn out. This is a full decade since their first album 12×5 and they had been non stop hit.

                  He had this great line:
                  If I could stick a knife in my heart
                  Suicide right on stage
                  Would it be enough for your teenage lust
                  Would it help to ease the pain

                  now, 43 years after that album was released, we are getting to a point where instead of a hyperbolic claim on audiences wanting more that we can actually see on stage suicide as some gimmick in the future.

                  • bem

                    I think some fool facebooked their suicide already. We have reached Peak Vanity.

                • jammyjaybird

                  Yeah, the instant raunch turns me off. That said, there are a lot of funny women in Hollywood. In your daily life, though, there are more funny men.

                • La’darell Luthor

                  I’ve heard it theorized that men developed comedy as a sort of ancient survival mechanism amongst each other. Women never collectively developed comedy because they never shared those same hardships. Usually the rare quality female comedian lived a hard, rough life.

                  • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

                    I think it wouldn’t be hard to link comedy to guys giving each other shit while out hunting, and guys giving each other shit is a form of establishing hierarchical so….yeah…I can easily see that.

                • Chip Baskets

                  Like Cadman said, ” muh vaginuh”

              • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

                Yeah, sometimes. Joan Rivers could be a hoot on occasion although she had to be taken in small doses.

                • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

                  That’s why her perfect venue was guest on Carson. Between Carson, Ed and the other guests she could laser focus a few funny lines and not control the dialogue.

                  • John Galt

                    If the family is in bed and I am still channel surfing, I will put Carson on (YouTube). Rinkles, Dangerfield, Williams, etc.. and really have a good laugh.

              • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

                There were a couple and I think.. My dear Tracy Ullman who I see now and then once the fall and winter come was always hilarious and still will make me laugh my eyes out at dinners. Joan Rivers was funny when she was on Carson. If you ever watch Lucille Ball not scripted like on the Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts she was a riot. Cloris Leachman always made me laugh my eyes out (though that was more her delivery than her own humor me thinks), Gracie Allen was funny and no one had a better straight laced Delivery than Margret Dumont who, while not funny in her own right, enhanced Groucho’s humor exponentially and while she isn’t consistent, when Sarah Silverman is on she really can be very funny.

                • bem

                  I was with you right up until Sarah Silverman. She suks

                  • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

                    I have seen things of hers that have got me to really laugh. Her bit on Martin Luther King being an asshole and why old jewish women and young black men are the same very really funny. Also, I really enjoyed her quite un PC and short lived show

                • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                  the chick who played Jerri on Strangers with Candy hahaha

                  • bem

                    David Sedaris’s sister.

                  • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

                    don’t know that one.

                    • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                      comedy central around 2000. 38 yr old ex stripper crackhead returns to high school to get her degree. back when steve colbert was funny

                    • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

                      yeah I was aware of its existence but never watched it. Around 2000 I was too busy trying to take as much vitamin b as possible so I could keep up with my pussy schedule.

                    • UnreconstructedConfederate

                      He used to be funny?

                • Jim Johnson

                  I guess it takes women who don’t have that feminist chip on their shoulder. Pretty rare for a modern women doing theater stuff.

                  • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

                    yeah, probably. Also, to rattle off 6 women over the course of 100 years or more of show business is an anomaly inside a margin of error that still allows for the blanket statement that Belushi made: Women Aren’t Funny.

                • UnreconstructedConfederate

                  Carol Burnette along with Tim Conway and Harvey Gorman. They made a hilarious team.

                  • cheeseburgercheeseburger
                    • UnreconstructedConfederate

                      Man, they were great.

              • John Galt

                Alive? No.

                • Jim Johnson

                  feminism destroys anything it touches.

            • Reyngout
          • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

            she would have been a great comedian but….

            • bem

              hahaha

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger
            • bem

              miracle of technology, wedging her into that gear…

              • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                kneeman would have a hard time finding her clavicle

            • Murdoc34

              I disagree with your choice of the word ‘funny’. I would have used a different word.

            • Art

              At least she has a purty mouth…

    • Jim Johnson

      yup, got to always mess with her. Nothing mean, but nothing says “I love you” better than smearing peanut butter in a new diaper and then when she is around, opening it up to sample the contents.

      • bem

        you are a sik fuk Jim Johnson….

        • cheeseburgercheeseburger

          hey, its Utah, they have limited entertainment opps out there

          • bem

            the Osmonds?

          • Jim Johnson

            Have to expand your imagination when you get rid of the TV

      • hahaha Im doing this! Will report back.

        • Jim Johnson

          Just make sure you don’t mix it up with the other diapers. Otherwise, joke’s on you.

      • Darth Vader

        Shit, I’m going to try that like…right now.

      • Art

        At least you didn’t use Cheezwiz…

    • Same for us Lou. We prank each other and give each other shit all the time. Everyone is cool with it and no one gets butthurt. Unless, ya know, I run up and smack her on the ass.

      • Art

        unless … I run up and smack her on the ass”

        …then all bets are off.

  • EastsideProphet

    Good stuff, Jnyx. As always, proactive, not reactive, in pretty much everything.

  • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

    Just to play devil’s advocate

    And I’m the quicker picker upper. Quick to pick up a bitch. So come here, bitch, and lick up the, lick up the, lick up the dick

    The poetry is undeniable

    • Lou Skunt
      • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

        Fucking women like you exist in a universe written by NWA is one way to be incredibly successful

  • Gaz

    I used to leave it all to my ex to decide what we would do. Usually ended up doing nothing because of it, weak really now I look back at it.

    Now, things are different, I make the decisions.

    If I want to go the gym with my little bro I go.

    If I want a night out with the lads after going and donating blood I go.

    If I want a night out with the lads to watch horse racing, book up a babysitter and we go.

    It’s amazing how having just a little assertiveness can improve things. There’s still a long way to go but it’s getting there.

    Best things about this? The relationship is stong and gets better by the day.

    Got to love life!

    • dckhead_con_artist

      I donate blood too. Do you drink within the 24 hours? I always wonder what would happen if you didn’t follow their advice.

      • Gaz

        I will but not much more than say a pint or a shot of whisky. I’m not a heavy drinker and usually it’s accompanied with a heavy meal if I do.

  • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

    This is all very, very valid advice, especially for younger couples that have kids to deal with. Of course it applies to older couples too, but after a while familiarity sets in and if passions subsides then you may not be able to “do things with her” in a way that works out for you. Your choice then is to stick by her because of the shared experiences, or move on.

    • UnreconstructedConfederate

      That’s being a man, sticking with her because you gave your word that you would.

      • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

        Depends on the situation and each case is different. I try not to do the “real man” thing much because as in everything there are so many exceptions to the rule that really isn’t even a rule left to speak of once you’ve accounted for them all.

        • UnreconstructedConfederate

          There are of course exceptions, I’m just generally speaking that when a man gives his word every attempt should be made to stick with it. However if you come home and catch her getting doggy-styled by the pool boy on your bed, then all that stuff(including her) goes out the window.

  • It’s very easy to fall into the trap of always having your kids along. I fell into that because I’ve seen other couples that never take their kids and I didn’t want to be selfish so I went the total opposite. Me and the wife went on our first multi-day vacation last October alone since our son was born (2014) and it was glorious. Granted, he was breastfed for most of that time so we really couldn;t leave him until then.

    Sex every night and just being the two of us was amazingly relaxing. Granted, I love my kids but you have to have time away with just you two. Rekindle the magic. Remember what drew you together.

    On a side note I recommend taking time with each child alone. I take my daughter to lunch from school and my son and I will do yard work or other manly stuff together. Your kids should know that you care enough to take time with just them, not just the family collective.

    • Jim Johnson

      we have a strict 9 pm bed time. As much as it annoys the oldest kids, we hold onto that policy for our own sanity. Besides, then we can drag them out of bed at 5:30 in the morning

      • UnreconstructedConfederate

        My grown children still talk about when I used to come their rooms at 0600 drag the covers off them and yell “rise and shine!” lol

        • Jim Johnson

          We do it for family scripture study before I go to work. I’m a little nicer about it so the 4 year old isn’t sniveling while we are taking turns reading.

    • bem

      I know a guy who still drags his 27 yr old ‘kid’ on vacation….

      • Jim Johnson

        adopted skinny blonde from Latvia?

        • bem

          ha!

        • Murdoc34

          From the guy who occasionally tries to project a naive image. See, I don’t think I’m going to buy it wholesale next time. 😉

          • Jim Johnson

            A guy can joke, can’t he?

    • “On a side note I recommend taking time with each child alone. I take my daughter to lunch from school and my son and I will do yard work or other manly stuff together. Your kids should know that you care enough to take time with just them, not just the family collective.”

      This is solid. I do try to make time to do things with them separately. You really connect with them on a level that you dont when they’re all together. Same, I do outdoor manly stuff with my 10 year old, but I’ll take my daughter for a car ride, or push my 1 year old around on his Tonka truck.

  • UnreconstructedConfederate

    If you want to stay a couple, don’t go out drinking and bar-hopping strip joints with buddies on your anniversary day.
    Wait and do that when she’s gone to visit her mother- Vinny Pringo

    • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

      Solid advice!

      Or, if she’s into going to strip clubs with you, go with her instead of your buddies. I mean hell, why not?

      • UnreconstructedConfederate

        Yeah! Go out as a couple! That’s what the article is all about.

        • Meh, strip clubs are not appealing to me

          • bem

            Gay.

            • I’m all about participation, not spectation

              • bem

                yeah when I was young and dumb it used to burn me that I’d go there, give money to these hookers (who made more than I did!), and then wind up going home alone and jerking off anyway!

                • dckhead_con_artist

                  99% of the time, you won’t get much but copping a feel. If you don’t want to spend any money then it will take longer to pull one. Also you have to dress well and smell good in order to differentiate yourself. There were times a really hot one would let me escalate over a period of 3 weeks. You can tell which ones were dirty, which ones were there just for the money , and the ones who were there for both sex and money. Last year I was visiting one girl, who was a solid 9, for a period of 4 weeks. At first I bought a $20 lap dance because she made out with me for free. The following week, I fingered her in the couch area for $100 . Then I texted her the song Metric – Torture me..she asked me to come over her place and fuck as long as I bought her a pizza afterwards and came to visit her every week for a lap dance. We fucked that night, I visited her for 3 more weeks, then she moved to Miami.

                  • bem

                    “99% of the time, you won’t get much but copping a feel”
                    right – and even with that you’re flirting with a beat-down from the bouncer.

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      or her Iraqi Special forces Soldier boyfriend who just came back from Afghanistan, cried in front of me and said “You are fucking my cupcake and I should kill you” – yeah that really happened. The guy wasn’t afraid of getting his ass blown off by an IED or the Taliban but was crying over his stripper girlfriend.

                • UnreconstructedConfederate

                  It used to burn me up that I would go there and spend every dime I had.

              • UnreconstructedConfederate

                Participation in being gay? Don’t do it man! You know what they say, about building bridges and all.

                • bem

                  where is THALES?!?!?!?!?!!? the magic is here!

                  • UnreconstructedConfederate

                    Thales has the gay magic down-pat.

                    • bem

                      better than a gay magic pat down

                    • UnreconstructedConfederate

                      A gay magician may pull something out of your pants..er… I mean your hat.

                    • A gay magician would try to put something in your pants

          • dckhead_con_artist

            they are what you make of them. Me and my buddies would go to all nude joints (Dallas , TX where it’s all nude with BYOB, fill up empty bottles of high dollar vodka and whiskey with cheap liquor and take so much with us that our table looked like 50 guys were partying there. We would take props, like the Bundy dollar connected to dental floss and pull it out of girls panties on their opening dance. We tipped the janitors when they cleaned up the queef from the stripper poles, and generally make fun of the girls. We would be known as the fun table. Girls would sit with us for hours and drink our cheap ass liquor. Only the pros hated us for not buying lap dances. I ended up banging 2 of them over a course of a year not spending much money on them.

          • UnreconstructedConfederate

            It’s kind of a joke,so….. it’s ok
            It’s not really funny anymore now that I had to explain not to take that literally (Hitler).

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            Singly? No. With a hot chick who wants to help the stripper give you a lap dance? Sure thing!

            It’s all about context.

  • 123

    Remembering to be a couple means to love each other. The greatest gift for children is if parents love each other.

    Respect, faith, trust….