No Gym? Use Your Kids!

“Strength and growth come only continuous effort and struggle.”

-Napoleon Hill

Today we’re going lighten up on the seriousness of subjects and have a little productive fun that involves your kid.  But before we start, we’re going to review the story of Milo.  No, not the gay Milo that has earned notoriety by triggering SJWs.  We’re referring to Milo of Croton, the man of immense strength said to rival that of Hercules. 

How did he get such inhuman strength? Simply put, progressive overload.  The longer explanation, although not much longer, is quite ingenious.  He chose a calf and carried it on his shoulders every day.  At first, the weight was fairly light and onlookers laughed and mocked him as he carried his load.  “What a silly waste of time” they must have thought.  “What does he plan on accomplishing besides becoming the laughingstock of the town?”

Well, as all animals do, the baby calf grew.

And grew.

And grew until it was a fully grown bull!

That wasn’t the only thing that grew though.  As the calf grew into a full-sized bull, Milo’s muscles and strength grew as well.  Unlike his neighbors, Milo knew exactly what would happen if he continued to carry increasingly heavier burden around every day.  Much like the StrongLifts 5×5 program, the amount of increase per day was so small that the difference day to day was hardly noticeable.  However, as days turned to weeks and weeks to months, the difference in weight became impressive.  His enormous strength allowed him to win many competitions as well as perform amazing feats of strength, so the story goes.

It is in the vein of thought that we’re going to approach strength training any father can do every night.

No gym membership?

No time to make it to the gym?

No problem! Just use your kids.

An added benefit to being able to work out with an ever increasing -and in the case of multiple kids- varying weights is the ability to play and bond with your kids.  Little do they know that you’re working out while they’re having a blast!

The Exercises

Working out using your kids as the weights has some advantages over using weights in the gym.  For one, they’re not a hard piece of steel, thus allowing more flexibility in how you pick them up and carry them.  Also, during this play time, they will most likely be wiggling and giggling, forcing you to work those stabilizer muscles even harder than you would lifting an inanimate object.  If you’ve been lifting a while, you’ll immediately feel a difference even if your kids are lighter than the weights you’re lifting in the gym.

1) Farmer’s Carry: This works best when your kids are still young enough to be carried around in baby carriers and is one exercise nearly all new parents are doing without even thinking about it.  This is the exact same as a farmer’s carry that you’d do in the gym except you will be holding the weight further out from your body than you would a dumbbell due to the size of the baby carrier.  This is great for your grip strength and traps.  I had twins so I got the benefit of working out both arms at the same time whenever we went out.

2) Shoulder Press: This one is pretty simple as well.  Simply grab the munchkin under their armpits and lift them above your head.  This usually elicits a fit of giggles as they dangle up in the air looking down at you.  Make it a game as you lift them up and down until your shoulders are on fire.  For those daring dads out there, you can build up some explosive strength by tossing your kid in the air.  Now would be a good time however to mention that AKC doesn’t assume any liability if you drop your kid.  Do this at your own risk and don’t be an idiot and toss them underneath a ceiling fan.


3) Bicep Curls: This is an excellent opportunity to help strengthen your child’s grip while you strengthen your guns.  Have them hook their hands over yours as you pick them up and down using just your biceps.  The motion is exactly like a barbell bicep curl.  If your kids are taller, just grab them under the armpits instead.  I find this a lot harder than curling a barbell.

4) Tricep Extensions: You got to work both sides of the arm after all! I discovered this little doozy wrestling with my kid one day.  Again, note the safety concerns as well as if your kids don’t like being upside down, you’ll need to ship this one.  Pick your kids up and place them on one of your shoulders.  Their stomach should be resting on your shoulder with their head  facing behind you.  Then grab both their ankles and slide them back behind you with your arms straight up in the air, holding onto their ankles.  From there, bend your arms at the elbow and then straighten them back out.  Below is a video to illustrate the exercise, minus the kiddo.  This should give you a good idea of what I’m talking about.

5) Squat Press: This one will burn you out fast.  Squat down, grab your little tyke under the armpits, and lift them straight up in the air.  For an extra burn, throw them in the air at the top of the squat.    As always, be safe.  We don’t assume any liability for heads hitting the ceiling.

6) Weighted Pushups:  Another simple exercise.  Get in the pushup position, have the little munchkin sit on your upper back, between the shoulder blades, and get to work.

7) Chasing and Wrestling (aka Cardio): Whatever you and your kids love doing is fair game.  Chase them around the house and let them chase you.  Crawl around on the ground.  Wrestle. Between the running, crouching, crawling, and wrestling, you’ll be breaking a sweat.


There’s no excuse for being out of shape, even if the obligations that come with fatherhood limit the number of trips you can make to the gym.  The dad bod is never acceptable.  All it takes is some creativity and discipline.

The biggest thing is keep it light and fun.  Don’t be sitting there blandly counting out reps as you’re exercising with your kids.  Make it a game.  Make funny faces.  Be silly.  Your kids will be begging for their turn which, if you have multiple kids, you’ll be in for a hell of a workout.

So what fun exercises can you think of?  Leave them in the comments section below!


Author: Jak

Jak, married and father of three, seeks to help the Red-Pill Community take its next step past the petty cynicism and ineffectual anger. While he recognizes that men are significantly handicapped by the modern legal system and culture, he doesn't accept that traditional marriage is untenable in today's social climate. Rather, men must be willing to adapt to this new world by implementing new tactics and approaches to maintaining a balance of power. Jak is here to provide you with these lessons.

466 thoughts on “No Gym? Use Your Kids!”

  1. Love it. There are lots of flips the young kids enjoy. Not many are a great exercise as far as personal improvement, but they are good for bonding. I do this thing where I grab their legs just above the knee and they sit in my hands, grabbing my fingers for stability, and I benchpress them. Also, throwing them as far as I can into a pool is always a hit.

    1. I got in trouble with my niece when she was little. Turns out the head and arms aren’t fully attached right out the box…

      1. Yeah, you gotta be careful. I have a niece who got a dislocated shoulder from her older sister swinging her by one arm. She was around two at the time.

    2. My fiancee works as a nanny part-time for an infant. She really likes to “dance”, especially spinning her around in front of you and swinging her from side to side.

      I didn’t expect it to feel like a workout. It was somehow as intense as swinging a kettlebell more than twice the weight.

      1. My daughters love dancing, I try to regurgitate what I learned from swing class back in college. I don’t know what happened during the 80’s and 90’s when everyone got into just jiggling around by themselves on the floor. Pretty much eliminates the fun part.

        1. I think some of that is disappearing. Well, I hope so anyway, but my experience is limited to the mega Country & Western joint I go to where there’s not only line dancing, but actual partner dancing as well.

          1. line dancing scares me. The first time I saw it was a few years ago and when 30 people in skin tight pants, cowboy boots and big hats got up without any prior discussion and did a syncopated line dance my expression was no different than if a space ship landed and aliens got out and said hi.

            1. To feel like even more of an alien, go to a GAY country line dancing club. It’s a thing, I swear. I was dragged to one about ten years ago and it was like staring at an eclipse, totally burned into my retinas.

              1. I am pretty sure all country line dancing is gay. Kind of the way I think the gay parade is redundant because all parades are fucking gay. Why you were dragged into a gay club is a subject I will leave for others to…..probe……but I will say that I am sure everyone was very polite and happy to be gentlemen and push in your stool.

                1. lol… my ex-wife used to go with a gay friend and I accompanied them once to confirm that said club was in fact gay. It was.

            2. As an outside observer, I think it’s really neat to watch because it does take a lot of skill. Didn’t used to but a lot of newer dances can be really complex so you can’t go in and just expect to wing it. I can’t do it to save my life, but it does fascinate me to watch now and again. My normal hang out at that place is the karaoke studio attached to it, so I don’t hang around long in any event.

              1. They take it pretty seriously at this place for some reason, lots of really coordinated dancers. And there’s at least 2 x half hour segments where a certified dance instructor gives group lessons. The setup at this joint is pretty neat all things said and done.

                1. Do they ever mix it up with hop hop?…we have a huge country bar outside of Dallas called Cowboys Red River…between Luke Brown and Hank they will throw the hip hop out there..
                  The place packs in 2-3000 every Saturday night…

                  Used to be one of my favorites for cougar hunting 10 years ago in my 30s.

                  1. As in “hip hop” or is “hop hop” something entirely different that I have yet to hear about?

                    It’s a pretty certifiable white bar set in a county that is 90%+ white, so I’m not sure if there is or will ever be an interest in hip hop in the joint as it does attract the pick’em up driving manly types and the skirt wearing, skinny little Ellie Mae types.

            1. I take it for what it is. In reality it’s no different than square dancing, which is another form of synchronized choreographed dancing. Or dancing like used to occur in Europe back when they had class and threw major gala balls, etc.

                1. But it doesn’t turn you into a robot, I think that’s the commercial projection. Real line dancing has all of the same footwork, but people throw in their own upper body and hip type stuff routinely. Throw in a couple of “pro” type guys who will pull a woman out of the line and start twirling her around the floor between the other dancers and it’s kind of neat. I think a lot of Hollywood likes to portray it as robotic, but then, they don’t like anything about us folks in flyover so it doesn’t surprise me.

                    1. You swingers really scare me with your lifestyle. Although FFM threesomes would be fun.


          1. shouldn’t bother anyone. The first lady of the US is a former prostitute. Just out of curiosity, what is the number one song and who is this young lady?

                  1. not always my friend. I live in the city of finance. Red Bottoms can mean a lot of things, from hooker to trust fund baby to lawyer to successful real estate broker.

                    1. they are not mutually exclusive from “whore” but hooker with it’s direct quid pro quo of money for sex is usually different.

                    2. and don Corleone will give up protection in the east and there will be there peace.

                    3. the shorter, more professional heels are worn by educated, professional women, but the tall heel red bottom trend started with hookers.

                    4. you don’t spend enough time in NYC. Not sure where you are, but I see lawyers in 5 inch stiletto red bottoms and the trust fun babies, and finance girls no different. The loub crazy in no way started with the high end hookers, it worked its way there as a symbol of wealth in major cities.

                    5. yes, sexy as fuck. Not sure what the point is. This is the shoe that nearly every professional woman wears out in the venues I tend to frequent. It is a sign of exaggerated wealth and sex appeal. Saying that the Loubs start out as shoes for hookers is like saying Rolex is a watch that got its start with rap stars. Long before hoi polloi knew what the fuck these things were, I had them up on my shoulders from mayflower babies. Sure, the hookers like them but that is because they are very expensive. They are a staple for the Madison avenue set and I have seen girls with entire closets full of them that, while they are whores because AWALT, were not close to being hookers.

                    6. Possible. I don’t know Dallas at all. But they are basically standard attire for women who are out at night here.

                    7. yeah. I have no doubt you are right about where you are. Different cities different cultures. But when I walk into one of the bars or restaurants I regular many, if not most of the women are in loubs with very high heels….I would go as far as saying that the loub on well heeled women here is as popular as a rolex on men.

                    8. that’s why I rip them off…it’s not like i hurt them financially. you should see it man, hundreds of college students, 18 years old…they sign up on seeking arrangement thinking there is all this free money to be given away by rich men…then I come in, promise them riches, fuck ’em, then run off..they don’t even know what hit ’em..

                    9. no siree bob this one is pretty clear I think. A whore will fuck a guy who gives them the tingles right away. A hooker will fuck any guy at any time so long as they give them money. A world of difference.

                    10. the whore is also fucking other guys because if they did it with you easily they have and will do it easily with others. A whore is not loyal.

                    11. that a whore is not loyal is not up for debate. Of course. A whore is only fucking other guys if you aren’t meeting her needs. Now that isn’t a reflection on you. You simply may not be in the mood to fill this whores needs. But if you want to keep a whore to yourself it can be done, but it takes way too much time and energy. I personally like when they fuck someone else. It helps them remember why they are fucking me.

                    12. “takes way too much time and energy.” — and only that lasts for so long. The hamster wheel goes crazy and wants more time, energy, and sometimes your money. I was dating a former stripper, 30 years old last year and I was fucking her hard, so hard, I had scabs on my back from the nail digs. It wasn’t enough, she wanted a few things more eventually…be my girlfriend, entertain her, then her baby….then she met a guy who said he would give her a baby, she never got that but she didn’t come back to me either.

                    13. “and only lasts for so long” is also correct. they get bored of you or you get bored of putting in effort. I don’t find fidelity to be that important of a thing. I would rather her have a piece or two on the side than be hitting me up to be my main thing constantly…..fuck that noise.

                    14. I think that is where ROK goes astray. I do not think anyone can effectively spin the same plates forever and you have to replace them because they will replace you no matter how solid your game, behavior, swagger is. The whole women want thugs statement is valid but even thugs lose out their advantage eventually. My best friend in high school robbed army surplus stores and smoked weed..yeah he got chicks in his 20s, but now is married to a fattie .

                    15. Agreed. I have thought a lot about this and have several viable answers which may all be try and at the same time might not be complete. One of them is the most simple. Women want that guy in the bar who will thug fuck them and walk away. The problem happens when they do it and then don’t walk away. Then they do it again and don’t walk away. Then again. Part of the appeal was the casual nature of it and the idea that the man had so many options he would forget her name half way through the act. When he is hitting her up for sex that third time a major chunk of what made him attractive is gone and if he fucking catches feelz that it is done and gone.

                      This doesn’t even have to be the thug per se. The moment you show interest in a continued relationship, even if that interest is in continued fucking, then you lose hand. When you meet one like that the only times you should be fucking her again is when she contacts you for it or if you happen to run into her.

                      That is just one of the reasons I think effectively spinning one plate too long is not just problematic but really impossible.

                    16. “It helps them remember why they are fucking me.”

                      You are giving women way to much credit. They are not that cognitive.

                    17. Not sure about modern, but why would any man want to waste his time trying control such a beast. Just don’t subsidize or wife them up.

                    18. you are giving them too little credit. Women remember where good dick is and when they get bad dick they think about the better dick and where it is. I used to laugh and say that if I fuck a girl for more than a few months she should be required to go out and spend a week fucking some other dude just so she remembers why she was with me.

                    19. “Women remember where good dick is and when they get bad dick…”
                      Yes, but how long does it take for each to grock that? Some never do.
                      I get the cut of your jib though. I did have old flames I would drop unannounced some random night (before marriage) when I was in country and she would hasten me in and up to her bed. They remember you. Especially when you are not just aloof, but no longer living in the same country.

                    20. pretty much there galt..on the nose. Sometimes it takes a really bad night of booze and fucking for them to remember you then all of a sudden it is constant contact until it isn’t. I think it takes one really good fucking and then a quick retreat into obscurity to create a situation where for years a girl will randomly shoot you a message…maybe every few weeks or every few months. If you do this to enough women over the years your phone is constantly going nuts in a way that, while I can’t prove it because I have never done the math, I would bet is in a predictable pattern.

                    21. Just saw a meme today that Facebook is only good for finding out what your racist uncle thinks and that some girl you fingered in high school is pregnant

                    22. I have one from 8 years ago that messages me randomly but never actually goes through with it, but talks about our past sex sessions at my house.

                    23. I’m pretty sure we don’t get to invent new meanings for words on the fly or remove understandings of a word so we only have one, hoss. Whore, while having various definitions, has always meant a woman that trades sex for money OR a sleazy woman who fucks anybody and anybody, the second definition coming long after the first and in no way negating the first. Other words for the same thing exist because of the mishmash mangled nature of our language after the Norman invasion. Like we have two words that mean the same thing, Freedom (germanic) and Liberty (Latin).

                    24. actually langue does evolve over time, but that isn’t what is important.
                      I consider all women whores, from strangers to our grandmothers. It is just a matter of who brings out their inner whore. What a word meant 300 years ago doesn’t mean dick. Common usage more important.
                      A prostitute, hooker, etc is a person who takes money for sex. A whore is not. A whore, like a slut, is just a woman who will suck cock for anyone who gives her the tingles — aka all women

                      The idea that language is static is an adorable and provincial way of thinking but ultimately incorrect and juvenile. That language, including and maybe especially slang, is simply the way of the world.

                    25. Nobody claims language is static. I’m stating, factually, that the primary and first definition of a whore was, is and will be in the foreseeable future, a woman who takes money for sex. It is line number one in the dictionary under the word “Whore”.


                      It is used as an insult in the fashion you posit, but that’s secondary to it’s understood meaning.

                      I’m *quite* well versed in this “adorable” notion of keeping language precise as well as being quite well read in word origins and meanings, both ancient and contemporary. The evidence thus far is on my side here.

                      How you may feel about what it should or shouldn’t be notwithstanding, it is a synonym for prostitute, which is why insulting a woman (who is not a prostitute) by calling her a whore is so powerful to begin with. Calling her a slut, which is in fact likely the word you’re confusing it for, would have much less impact since that only means a loose woman who fucks people for fun, not profit.

                      End of the day all you’re doing is fronting *your* provincial definition which ignores or discounts the real definition of the word and claiming it as universal. Which is, as they say, so adorable. Heh.

                    26. Being as precise as possible is cute like walking around speaking Elizabethan English. You can use it as a synonym for prostitute but denying the metamorphosis of colloquial use of language and to use it that was is just asinine. I am not in any way “confused” but rather accepting the dynamic nature of language in both proper and common usage. I get that you don’t like that but that doesn’t actually mean a hill of beans…it just says something about your inability to understand the underpinning nature of how language works or your inability to deal with the fluidity of the world…a common phenomenon for sure.

                      Anyway, no time to teach linguistics 101 so you just go ahead. Its all close enough for us to get by and I know you get stuck on these things and have a congenital inability to grow and evolve — which is why you feel language works that way.

                      Funny, for how many similarities we have there are ever so many differences.

                    27. No matter how passive aggressive and bitchy you want to be about it, it doesn’t alter the fact that I’m correct. Me, dictionary writers and almost all speakers of the English language in the Anglosphere recognize the primary definition *and* the secondary definition (yours).

                      So quip as you will, but this is my wheelhouse, and ultimately I’m correct in form and in function.

                    28. glad you got to drop a mic. But if you are suggesting that every time someone calls a girl a whore they necessarily mean they take cash in direct exchange for sexual favors than you are a rube

                    29. resources, meaning being your girlfriend is just like cash, or buying them a bottle of wine..etc..

                    30. I acknowledge the prostitutionary nature of the “Date” where I show a girl a good time and she eventually licks my turd cutter. No denying that. But I really feel there is a difference between, I buy drinks and you suck dick (which is the nature of the male and female relationship…man provides means while woman provides sexual release) and the straight up “here is 50 bucks, cop my knob”

                      The distinction there is marginal for sure and I don’t fault guys for seeing it other than I do, but I find there to be a world of difference between the one and the other.

                    31. Sometimes the hooker transitions to the whore. It has happened to me twice on seeking arrangement . The women asked for a relationship which at that point the direct funding stopped . Some have told me that they use sa for temporary help and want a successful guy to date.

                    32. when you say relationship is this a sugar relationship. You have to learn me on this because I don’t know how it works. Did she want to be your girl but have you pay her rent, give her an allowance and make her kept or was she just trying to drop into a relationship relationship. If the later, does that mean she was going to stop hooking and if so how did she expect to pay her bills?

                    33. I like examples because they become visual . One of my first actual sugar relationships , the girl was between jobs . She was a secretary for an attorney and she was given 1 week notice to find another job . Her rent was $700 per month . She wanted to go back to lashes and hair extension work . I paid her rent the first month and bought dinner /drinks etc . We fucked about twice per week . (Btw you ignore the selected financial expectations that are on the site , that’s bullshit and no woman is worth more than $1000 per month) by the end of the second month she asked to be my girlfriend . I stopped rent payments and just paid for drinks / food . I would buy her a gift cards or 2 just for the hell of it . By the end of the third month , she said she wanted a baby and met a guy who would eventually give her one . We broke up . The pornstar I’m seeing now spends all day saturday with me for $300 and fucks as much as I want . We also go drinking and on my lake to ride jet skis .

                    34. Sounds like a good deal, but if I may ask a question…and mind you, I don’t judge anyone’s mode of recreation…..if this is good for you then by all means do it up hombre. What I feel it is missing is the sense of the hunt as well as that feeling you get when you look down and see lips wrapped around your dick and know that this stupid bitch is gagging on your dick just to make you happy and doing it because she really, really, really wants to. Now all of us have different psychological make up and need and want different things. For me, when a woman surrenders her will to me and degrades herself to please me, when she wants me so bad she is sending my pictures of her cunt at three in the morning or texting me at work begging me to cum in her all just because she wants it…like wants it like fat kids want candy wants it….that is where I get my high. I always feel the here is 300 bucks now fuck me as much as I want thing doesn’t motivate me in the same way.

                      Do you feel you are trading the hunt and the ego boost of being wanted to the point where a girl will literally do anything to please you for the safety and convenience (and possible savings) with the sugar arrangement or do you just not have those same needs and desires?

                    35. Man, you really nailed down my inner thoughts about this as well. I honestly think your way is better for the psyche and is more mentally healthy. Sometimes I feel I do this sugar shit just to give me a temporary self esteem boost. I cycle between wanting to hunt and the sheer amount of work it takes to do so versus saying fuck it lets pay for this pussy. The problem with me is that I like really hot women, 8s and up. so this chicks name is Tiffany Brookes, look her up.. she got out of porn about 2 years ago and moved back to Dallas. I have rarely gamed or dated women that hot. Nothing wrong with, I am slightly ripped muscularly and my roots are Mediterranean/Caucasian. I dress well and can talk with ease to women. Now when I hunt at the Ritz I get 6s and 7s, mostly 7s… For example, last Saturday I went to this place downtown and I noticed a 9 who was smoking. I went up to her and said that I thought only foreign women smoked and I thought she was sexy while smoking. She said she was married. By the time I found another woman to hit on it was almost 2 am. Now I have to wait until this Saturday night to game again. I am realizing that paying for it is unhealthy and I am losing the ability to seduce women by paying for it……

                    36. Yeah, I had assumed something like this. Not sure how it is in Dallas but every bar and club is packed until 4 am 7 nights a week. It is 940pm on Tuesday right now and if I walk over to any of the big hotels like Carlyle, Surrey, Mark, Plaza there will be single women drinking. If I go downtown or to a few other neighborhoods there will be, with out exaggeration, at 10 pm on a Tuesday, a packed scene that would put most major cities weekends to shame and that outside of major cities very few could even imagine. This, combined with the huge disadvantage to women in the women to men ratio, coupled with my SMV which given my job and fitness level and ability to speak to women and connections in the city make It absurdly easy. I haven’t gone out without picking up at least one woman in god knows how long. Maybe not to close but I do it so often that there is now constant rotation and the ego boost is tremendous because they are coming for me. Half of them I think would pay me if I told them too lol.

                    37. Wow … even though you don’t need it I’ll fucking buy you drinks just to show me around those joints so I can run loose like a caged animal

                    38. I’ll take the free drinks and be glad to go out but to be honest you don’t need a tour guide. It’s 22.5 livable square miles with 6 million people. You can’t miss it. Let me know when you get to town

                    39. In dallas it’s pretty much dead Monday thru Thursday . The hottest women are smu students . They don’t go to bars they are all in frats and sororities. . On saturday the hottest women are the bottle service girls and some patrons. However there is a fattie epidemic here on texas so the ratio of fat to hot women has been increasing as of late. Also too many single moms and multi divorcees over 35 or retired strippers that already look like old ladies . Our bars close at 2 am .the ritz brings a more professional sexier clientele that’s why I hang out there and I’ve been reasonably successful there . However that’s been sparse as well. I’m thinking about working security or checking ids at one of the nightclubs twice per week so I can meet the hot bottle service girls . I might even work for free drinks or for free and tell the owners I’m a potential investor or looking to learn the ins and outs of the club business. I can’t think of another way to get access to hotter women

                    40. Dallas is such an odd beast to me in my mind because of the enormity of the landmass. You would need to have like 500 million residents to hit the population density of New York. Through my travels I’ve learned that every major and minor city as well as smaller town has its own rules but what you describe Dallas as is basically most small cities like Boston, Chicago or San Francisco. I think in a place like that, at my age, I would probably be looking either for what you do or for a steady piece. That said, the New York scene is just different. Every night of the week is Saturday night. Locals have a saying that “weekends are for tourists” and it’s true; Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday nights bars and clubs are totally packed and mostly with locals not the bridge and tunnel type

                      The general rule here is that Bars close at 4 but unless it is a big commercial joint no one is going to stop serving until they stop making money.

                      Cocaine is literally everywhere here. I no longer partake but I can walk into a bar I’ve never been to before, high end, filled with people I’ve never met, on a Tuesday at 2 am and find blow in a matter of minutes.

                      Here is an interesting case in point. During the summer, because I have so many vacation days, I take some mondays off. After the gym, sweating, in a tank top and shorts, in my neighborhood which is all residential I was walking home. To walk the 6 blocks from the gym to my door I pass at least 20 bars but probably more (and this is a quiet residential hood). One of them I saw 4 girls and a guy through the window doing shots so I said f it. Went in, laughed with bartender I didn’t know about dress code and 2 hours later had a thoroughly installed buzz and was in my bed with a girl who was easily an 8. On a Monday. At like 1pm. In a residential area. The point isn’t that it happened it is that I am in no way surprised by this and if I left my office now, Wednesday at 920 am, am fairly sure I could recreTe that experience.

                      This is part of the reason for the “if you can make it here you can make it any where”

                      Every minute I am at work, at home, sleeping, shitting, blowing my fucking nose I know that somewhere out there are literally thousands of buzzed single women in the 7-9 range with very open attitudes towards sex. Hell, the city provides NYC branded condoms that sit in fish bowls in bars and shops.

                      A lot of people come to NYC for the first time and in a year have no job and no money because fucking off 24 hours a day is just too tempting.

                      Just for you I counted women on the subway, the subway, this morning at rush hour wherein high heeled Loubs (not the low heel sensible ones and this at 8 am on a subway) I counted 6 and my ride to work is only 5 stops

                      I understand what and why you do what you do given your options though I don’t think my ego would permit me to do the same (though who knows, 50/50 really) but here it would be insanity where if you have a decent SMV by local standards (fit, attractive, a good address, a title, some connections) it almost takes more effort not to get laid by a 7-8 than it does to get your dick wet

                    41. Cocaine, Monday night lays, free condoms, laid back attitudes about sex….so if you don’t mind a squatter for a few years, I’ll be sleeping on the floor in your foyer….

                      It is completely different here. half the women are fat. That makes the rest of them over-value their poontangs. Throw in some cucked men (many of whom are blue collar, cowboy/oil field types), over 40 divorced moms with 3+ kids, and tatted-up so called instagram models, the sexual market gets skewed in favor of what’s left.

                      I was required to attend jury duty once in 2010, so I took our rail, called DART, to downtown Dallas at 9 A.M. on a Monday. Everyone was already in their offices . I went to a coffee shop and was all alone, ALL alone on a large coffee shop. Once jury pool started, a middle school teacher, a 6-7 in looks, chatted me up all day during jury selection. Neither of us got selected. At 3 PM we went to a nearby bar (again empty on a Monday) had a few drinks. We went to her place and made out. I pushed for sex and it didn’t happen. It took another date to get that. That was once in 7 years.

                      At the bars, the ratio of 2 to 1 in favor of women, any bar, any club, so guess what? the hot women are always surrounded by cock blockers, boyfriends, husbands,
                      bartenders, etc…You have to keep your eye open to get a shot at her once she goes to the bathroom.

                      at the high end clubs and even hotel bars, you have to figure out which ones are hot women hanging out and which ones are hookers..
                      The women will gladly express their sexuality by dressing like a slut but don’t dare ask them to come back to your place because you are then a player and the shit tests won’t stop until you are too tired to fuck anyways,
                      that’s the Dallas scene in a nutshell

                    42. You’ll need a hotel but yeah, ill be happy to show you around one night. When I go out out I don’t see fat women. Like they simply don’t exist. You can find them if you go to the little pubs or sports bars, but the places I go to there are zero fat women. If one comes by it is almost a fucking shock like you don’t know what happened.

                      As for ratios here, the single female to male ratio at bars is easily 4:1. This is not indicative of the entire city, but it thoroughly indicative of what you would see at any decent bar or club. It is almost frightening. It is basically the inverse of LA and men (so long as they have a good SMV by local standards) are the ones with the high value. Guys, not just me but guys I just see out, are basically just standing around with women coming up to them and are often snobbish or nasty to them. It is an entire dating culture built on dread game. And every time you turn down a woman, some other woman notices. I have had women approach me while my date was in the bathroom. It truly is fucking bonkers here. The only cock blocking you get is when more than one woman is hitting on you and you don’t know how to play your hand and you botch both…something I’ve done before…many times.

                      My normal Friday night early dinner and drinks place is a good example. I will go in, order a cocktail, the owner, manager and bartender will all greet me, I have a tab I pay monthly, know a few regulars and do my hellos. I am usually there about 2 hours unless it is a super fun time there. In that two hours, in the hundreds of times I have gone there, I have once to sit, have a cocktail, eat dinner, have an after dinner drink and espresso and not had a woman just start talking to me. Also, this is a high end place. 3 seasons of the year it would be inappropriate for me to walk in without a jacket and tie….summer in the city is a little more casual but still smartly dressed and still a jacket in the evening. Not once. Not one time. Never. In the 5 years that this has been my regular Friday spot with occasional Saturday and sunday pop ins there has never been a time where I had dinner without a woman initiating a conversation with me. Plus, the high end nature of this place draws in a high end crowd so it is not some pig in jeans and sneaker…these are well dressed women with means and taste and style. I told this to my cousin and he laughed. I said, put on a jacket and tie and come out with me. We got there, got seats and ordered drinks. Before the drinks got to us a party of 3 women were talking to the two of us, by the end of the first drink one girl said something like “oh there are three of us and two of you, its a shame you don’t have another friend” to which I responded “funny, I was just thinking it was a shame there wasn’t a fourth in your party”

                      Some people love the city and some people hate it but it truly is a dating Shangri-La for men who fit the correct mold.

                    43. That scenario has only happened to me once when I attended a franchise owner conference with a group of pharmaceutical sales people, mostly women…where I was one of a few restaurant owners that were single amongst mostly horny women (some married)

                      Challenge accepted! When is a good time to come up in the next few months? Do you travel during the holidays to see family? Also, I do not think I can PM you as you have your settings on private. If you don’t mind replying with an anonymous email address or you can email me at my anon email address @ [email protected]…after we exchange an email, I’ll send you a message with my corporate email and name. My God I have been missing out on life…I had 0 idea there was a world out there like that within the USA…no fucking clue there existed a place where men were looked at like a piece of meat…It will be nice for once..

                    44. I fucking love pharma reps. Sorority girls with enough cock sucking and fuckng experience to be good at it, but with college boys who wouldn’t know what to do with a twat if they had 9 dicks, 6 tongues, 5 hands, an instruction manual and a flash light get an Anne Taylor card and get some dresses, hock themselves to the neck in loubs and a hermes bag and go out and slut it up for big money. I have been through quite a few both at parties I’ve been invited to by an old doctor friend of mine and just meeting them at bars while they scope out the professional types. Can’t say I’ve ever been to a conference of them, but I assume it was very, very, very fun.

                      I am away for Christmas with my family. I will send you an email. If you are in town I will give you a nice handy guide to where you should be as well as go out for a night or two.

                      You will def want to hit up the brunch spot about 5 minutes from my place

                    45. how is the female to male ratio is 4:1. Because the population in NYC was close to 53% female, 47% male. Why don’t dudes go out? OR why do so many girls go out? What is driving all of that.

                    46. for a couple reasons. You need to remember that the population of NYC is not indicative of the places where I go. It includes ghettos and middle class areas that show a ratio closer to the official numbers. What the ratio is in, whatever, omalleys irish bar is not going to be indicative of the ratio of the champagne bar at the plaza hotel. Add to that the following…in our price range there are a significant amount of faggots and they stay to their own spots so that takes more men out. Also, at 20+ per drink women are generally assured they won’t have to pay and the price point keeps some men away. Places like lavo or bagatelle or other high end clubs specifically let more women in to further skew the ratio so the only men that usually get in either have an amex black card or know someone. At the hotel bars girls go in groups. Many of the guys there will be on a date. Finally, because of our very liberal go go girlism feminism, corporate jobs and other well paying jobs are hiring more women than men fresh out of college. Finally, the eastern Europeans and other gold digger types from the type that want drinks bought for them to the type looking for arrangements know that the men they find at places I go to are going to be able to afford them.

                      So abstracting from the general population which includes a dozen different social stratum, ages across the spectrum and a land mass which includes the outer boroughs and narrowing it down to fine dining/bars/club and either the people who can afford them or the people who have gone into debt looking like they can afford them and are hoping for the best, the female to male ratio comes to 4:1 and I literally count when I walk into a place.

                    47. I always pay for drinks on dates and usually will buy a girl a drink if I am interested in her. The thing is, going out is fun for me and I like to play the role. The girl is included. I enjoy going out, grabbing some hot girl, being dressed up, paying, being me. I won’t continually buy drinks, but I will often just buy a bottle of wine or champagne if a girl really suits me and offer her some. “Brian, bring another glass for this lovely thing here”

                      Going out for me is like getting to live this kind of life. That is the kick of it. The girl and the sex are def part of that, but not the objective. The objective is always to be Frank Sinatra for a night and with that comes music, and good food, and high end booze and pretty women and it all comes at a price.

                    48. that is my kind of scene right there..I’ll get my Banana Republic suit dry cleaned and pressed asap..

                    49. When you are done with this place you go power nap, wake up, caffeinate (or blow a gram of coke), kick some whore out and go out. Most people who do the club scene will go out around 11 and get to the clubs around midnight so if you party 2-5 at a place like this, get your rocks off until 8 you can power nap a few hours and then get ready to go out.

                    50. to be fair, I haven’t done these wild all day all night things in some time. I am doing fine with hotel bars and being in bed by midnight….rarely alone..

                    51. The only thing comparable to the NYC nightlife is Vegas and while vegas may go harder, there are only 1/10000 the number of people and places. Imagine the vegas strip if it was 20 miles long and inhabited by 6 million people. Now further, imagine nearly all of those people, especially the women, are super type-a personalities many, if not most of them working very stressful jobs where they have consciously decided to put off anything serious until later in life. Until you get hit on by a 27 year old with an MBA and JD from Ivy Schools and a job where they get paid 600k plus bonuses and that was a starting salary where she basically informs you she needs you to thug fuck her and gtfo you haven’t experienced all that new York has to offer

                    52. it is just funny to see how aggressive and competitive a type personality women can be when you put them in close quarters, give them alcohol and cocaine and limit the supply of men that meet their standards to close to nil.

                    53. your last sentence is key … that’s how the Ritz used to be in Dallas, the bar is called Rattlesnake. It has always been hidden and out of sight. Only elite men would go there , men with style and class . yeah some women were hookers, but they stood out like a sore thumb. Most men would stay away because they had no style or any gentlemen like behavior. Unfortunately as of late the old fogey drunk horny guys over 60 have flooded the place and made it unbearable for attractive women.

                    54. “Most men would stay away because they had no style or any gentlemen like behavior” this is key here too. The places I go to, you simply aren’t going to have any fun If you aren’t dressed properly, don’t act properly or have the right background or address.

                    55. This phenomena began in the early 1990s. While I was in college, a few attractive women were taking some of the rare high level astronomy/physics classes as electives. There were only 4 men (2 married and 2 single) and 5 women, all single. At a Halloween party in 1996, I won best costume , posing as Dracula. One woman in the class took a liking to my costume and its aggressive nature, got drunk, and asked me to come to her place. I declined as back then I had rose colored glasses on and thought that my virgin beautiful bride was waiting for me when I graduated and I shouldn’t offend God by having drunk sex. From what another guy told me, she was a great lay….fuck me..

                    56. my lord…rose colored indeed. My college days were somewhat different. I think back to a Halloween party where I work a box with Christmas wrapping that basically covered the area that a paid of tighty whiteys would, held up by suspenders and a pair of running shoes and the box had the label To: Women Love: God I was a fair to midland athlete in college and didn’t really know that body fat existed or that anyone didn’t have abs. Never having worn those particular glasses I was open to a lot of fun experiences. Whether that is a positive or negative, honestly I don’t know. It is something I struggle with at times.

                    57. When you can point out where I said that it is *only* used to signify cash in exchange for sex *solely*, in order to justify your assertion, I’d appreciate it. But, using the magic of the scroll bar we see that I noted several times that the secondary definition, which is yours, exists and is used in the way you indicate, I simply and correctly and factually pointed out that the primary definition exists as well and that yours is not the only definition. Right there, use the scroll bar, check for yourself. So sleight of rhetorical hand rejected, heh.

                      They don’t call it The Best Little Hookerhouse In Texas after all.

                    58. actually they don’t call it that at all any more because it isn’t 30 years ago at present. The primary dictionary definition is not necessarily really important. The first thing every student learns is that the dictionary is simply not a good source book for actual in world fact. Sure, you are factually correct in the way that driving with your hands at 10 and 3 at all times is but that is kind of a failure of accepting the realities of driving. I’ve never read the drivers manual and can drive a car just fine while, I am sure, breaking tons of rules. I feel you are a stickler on stuff like this because you find it fun and in some way personally gratifying and that’s cool…really I can dig that…but in some cases it just seems patently absurd. This is one of them

                    59. You claimed one definition and no others and held to that until it was shown to you that you were factually wrong. You now openly admit the primary definition, which was not the one you were using, exists.

                      My case is literally made and the argument won. I’ve no interest or need to get into a tangential discussion after the goalposts are moved, which is what you’re doing now.

                      And with that, I bid everybody adieu wacky do and am heading out into the real world for a well earned Scotch. 🙂

                    60. well enjoy your victory son….i’d give you a candy and a pat on the head if I could….you remind me of my community college student at times. I learned that it is best to just patronize those that can’t be taught. Makes life better for everyone involved. You get to feel sparkly and like you deserve scotch and I get to snicker at the strange things that go on in a world where people aren’t able to think through very simple problems due to ego. See, everyone comes out ahead. Now go have your cookie

                    61. they all sap our resources in one way shape or another. Actual paid hookers are usually more honest about their intentions though. The next level down are sugar babies (kind of dating with $). Then free sluts such as cougars and club thots who want your time and you have to constantly game them to keep their interest. It’s a three tier system

                    62. This is a mistake I believe. A hooker will fuck you for money a whore will fuck you for free. While Hooker, dancer and escort are the same, whore and slut are different…no direct exchange of money for sex…model depends….depends greatly.

                  2. Or more generally = a girl looking for trouble in general.

                    I saw one yesterday at the supermarket. She was wearing red short shorts and a gingham checked croptop with red glasses and pigtails. She was just standing there waiting to be noticed, heavy eye contact with me. Very porny.

                    Hard pass. My suspicion was confirmed when her mother came along. Girl was barely sixteen, and obviously testing the waters with her new woman’s body.

                1. nice?? this song enrages me more than “we built this city on rock n roll” by the jefferson whatever

                  1. I hate the Jefferson whatever. seriously. Just yawnola. Almost as bad as the doors to me. I don’t really have it in my to be enraged by music anymore. I like to say it is because I am older and wiser, but it is probably because I’ve just become too lazy for rage.

                    1. They were actually the first band that captured my interest in music. Jim’s ramblings as an attempt to be poetic is pure crap though.

                    2. hahaha, almost went bat shit until I saw the //sarc
                      Ugh. Unwashed fucking barbarians.

          1. Having spent nearly 4 years working in strip clubs I have an aversion to the places like you couldn’t imagine. That said, I’ve got nothing against the women 😉

            1. when I have no luck running game in regular bars, I roll into one just to fuck around, drink, and listen to their Adderall fueled stories while they sit on my lap.

  2. This is the kind of thinking that I really like, finding ways to integrate a bit of exercise into daily activities. Playing with the kids sounds like a great way to do it (I used to give younger relatives “horsey rides” and do a thing where two or three of the tykes could hold one end of a rope and I would swing them around in a wide circle), but I imagine those of us without children could do similar things with our ladies (not to mention other fairly active games that aren’t interchangeable to work up a good lather).

  3. Fun article, lol. One tip though, under no circumstances do this with your kids’ friends. I’ve been trying to lift my daughter’s 18-20 year old girlfriends and it just isn’t working out like I’d hoped. They absolutely refuse to stay still while I fling them around. Just not good for doing basic lifts, although the cardio is fantastic.

    1. I can see that might pose a problem in about a decade. My girls’ friends are still into playing with dolls

      1. Another good exercise I forgot to mention is when one of your kids wraps themselves around your leg and sits on your foot, making themselves essentially a very large ankle weight. Without fail as soon as I take a step or two, one of my other kids grabs the other leg.

        1. That is such a go-to for kids for as long as I’ve ever heard, that it wouldn’t surprise me if Neanderthals had their kids doing the same thing. It just seems like what you’d do as a kid who was part of a bipedal species.

          1. Very true. It’s damn near instinctive for them to do this which can make for some frustration when you’re walking to the other room to grab something and they come out of no where and grab your leg. My kids have damn near sent me sprawling a few times. My fast feet from years of TKD is the only thing that’s saved me.

      2. In all seriousness Jim, while we all try to be the best man we can, it’s really strange to see these doll playing 8 year olds turn into utterly stunning 18+ year olds, especially when they still refer to you as “dad” (all my daughters friends have done this for whatever reason). My Good GOJ angel that sits on my shoulder instructs me to go outside and mow the grass when they come around, which I generally sometimes have to do, because it’s really a weird uncomfortable feeling looking at a hot grown woman that you can remember helping your daughter with her Easy Bake oven when she was 6.

        1. Tread with caution. I had a younger cousin tell me that her HS girlfriends would cover over to the farm and visit during the summer and they used to oogle at her dad/ my uncle (who was working around the farm without shirt due to the heat). The hormones were definitely in over drive as one of them point blank told her, “I want to f*ck your dad.”

          Not sure if he was oblivious to it all, but he kept his distance in any case.

          1. Yeah, I know, that’s why I find other places to be after being polite and saying hello. Some of her friends, according to her, have done the hair twisting “Your dad looks dangerous/hot” thing around her. And this, my friend, is why my lawn has some of the best manicuring you’ll find this side of the Mississippi.

            1. Ha! Start doing other people’s lawns.

              Or you can do like I did when my little sister’s hot jailbait 15-yr-old friend used to come around — clown yourself up. Dark socks hiked up to the knee with torn white sneakers, plaid shorts, striped shirts. It was a running joke for a while in my family.

          2. It is bad enough at church, I am an advisor in the young men. Once a month, there is a combined activity with the young women (12-18), some of those girls are poison. It is bound to get worse when my girls get that age and I have more involvement.

            1. I find that if you can drop words of wisdom in the ear, which they can understand, before they hit puberity goes a long way. They trust you and will recall your words as the hormone hurricanes hit them.

          3. Smart man your uncle. I have had to distance myself from the neighbor’s daughters as they’ve come of age. I don’t leave even the hint of impropriety to chance. They are only allowed to come over to swim in the pool with my wife present.

                  1. I once ran into a woman and on a hunch Asked her about her dog. “He loves peanut butter doesn’t he?” “oh my God, how did you know?”

                    I decided not to probe any further into her relationship with her dog but I assure you gentleman, the jelly is free when the peanut butter is spread on her sandwich and shared with her poochy.

        2. I had a recent experience with that age group. Well, Americans in that age group that is. Had a visit from a 19 year old cousin and her same aged friend about a month back. Hadn’t seen my cousin since she was about 8. (Which should have been my first clue something was haywire. What dad sends his daughter to a cousin he hasn’t seen in 10 years? Not a good one.) And I swear.. I don’t think I’ve met two more horrid, disgusting, wastes of oxygen in my entire life.

          No table manners? Check. Bonus points for chewing with open mouths.
          Incapable of conversation? Check. Most conversation resulted in blank stares. (Better to just let them stare into their phones.)
          No fashion? Check. They both dressed up like cheap whores in Vegas. It’s like they both fell into the makeup jar rather than just applying it.
          While in heels they stumbled like drunk sailors? CHECK!
          Pudgy but still wearing skimp clothing? Check! Extra bonus for walking around in their skivvies with butt cheeks hanging out while in the house. (I’m in a large-ish place, but that’s still an unwise situation so I called a girlfriend over to stay while they were here.)
          Expected me to pay for everything? Check. (They didn’t get that wish.)

          They were causing so much havoc both in town and in the house, I ended up convincing them to go stay in a hostel instead. The result of their trip? No. Americans. Here. Ever. (Or at least any American relations!)

          Anyway, nice to know some decent Americans are out there still! After that incident I was starting to think Return of Kratom was correct. 🙂

          1. Insipid American millennials. Aren’t they cute.?

            As an expat who gets back to the US once a year, I find the fat, poorly dressed, tatted up youth is something that takes time to get used too.

            1. You mean there are more like that!? I don’t think that’s anything I’ll ever be used to.

              Since they’ve gone I’ve been trying to think of anyone I’ve known in my life that was that bad. I’ve met some doozies, but I can’t come up with anyone that was such a blend of gross, rude, and entitled.

              1. And they are blithely unaware how messed up they are or perceived. The rudeness would reflect on whoever raised them and they obviously didn’t instill any manners, but the entitlement is what grinds my gears.

                1. It must be an American thing. I know several in that age group here and they’re -nothing- like that.

                  As for the rudeness and apparent lack of any skill aside from “nose stuck in a phone”, I agree. That’s on the parents.

                  1. The snowflakes run feral and are on a road to trepadation. They will end up broke after multiple dysfunctional relationships and never know how the ended up there.

                    What havoc did These two cause in town?

                    1. Well, you’re in for a treat. Wall of text coming! 🙂

                      First they got thrown out of a restaurant for being too rude. (I know that place, the people are very friendly.) Then they started getting rowdy with a couple of US troops, missed a train and let the troops “drive them home” some 60 kilometers back to the house. I may have deprived the troops of a quick score that time. The fun part about that, was the girls lied and said they were a “man and woman”. What they didn’t realize was that I know quite a few people in that town and they told me… it was as I suspected. Two US soldiers. Not very brave soldiers either, they dropped the girls off a whole block away from the house. At 1:30 AM. What “gentlemen” they found! HAHA!
                      Then they just hung around the house for almost a week. Doing nothing but look at their phones. I even told them there were several World Heritage Sites within walking distance of the house. … They had never heard of a World Heritage Site.

                      It was the staying at the house that got really bad though. I found out that they raided the main fridge of LEFTOVERS. Yes, they ate somebody else’s leftovers!! My lady friend that was staying over (to make sure nothing untoward occurred, I didn’t trust these girls) actually got so angry she yelled at them. This is a woman I’ve never heard even slightly annoyed. The final straw was my idiot cousin wandered into my office two levels up (my own fault, should have locked it) and yanked out one of my iDevices that was in the middle of an update because “her cord broke”.

                      Given it was either annoy the town or annoy everyone in and near the house, I convinced them they’d be happier in a hostel. What they didn’t know, was if they’d refused the suggestion, I was kicking them out anyway.

                      I found out they shacked up with some US tourists for a bit in Rome before moving on to France where I’m sure they went from one group of guys to the next. I told her dad about all of this but he couldn’t care less. Not sure if they ever got back to the US or not in fact. Her dad hasn’t called since. Good thing, he’d get a mouthful about what a piece of shit he is. (And I rarely use expletives.)

                      Here’s the kicker. They’re both supposedly “Christian” and my disgusting cousin… is the daughter of a so-called preacher.

                      Live and learn though. No more visitors here unless they’re known to me.. and probably aren’t American. 😀

                    2. Two 19 year old American girls away from home slutting it up and lying about it doesn’t shock me.

                      But getting thrown out of a restaurant?! Treating your host with blatant disregard? Being irresponsible so far from home? Holy hell. Girls like that are later found decomposing in dumpsters or rivers. Her parents really dropped the ball composing her social skills — pity her future employers.

                      The preachers daugher being the town pump isn’t a new phenomenon. Not sure why, but they tend to be sluts. Makes me note that I have a classmate who became a preacher and then married up the town slut (divorced due to her multiple infidelities)– some correlation there perhaps.

                    3. If she has future employers. Apparently little miss train wreck can’t manage to get into college. If her poor choices don’t result in her ending up in a ditch somewhere, I’m foreseeing a future of trailer parks. 😀

                    4. Better the ditch. Trailer park means she is leaching off tax payers and will be a net drain on society. I would put money down she will get knocked up in the next 12 months.

  4. What if you have no kids?
    I got in some real trouble tossing some stranger’s kids around in the parking lot….

      1. This stupid movie has people thinking clowns are scary. You know what is scary, being a fucking adult.

          1. you ever see Shakes the Clown? the clowns get hammered and go over to the park to beat the shit outta the mimes?

            1. SHAKES THE FUCKING CLOWN!!!!! YES! DUde, I haven’t thought about that in forever. Bobcat FTW.

              A, I’m not your pal, B, if you ever, EVER speak to me again, I’ll twist your head into a fucking balloon animal.

          1. Fuck if I know. It’s not like we’re big city types with constant and continual crimes both bizarre and mundane. This kind of thing is creepy but mostly an anomaly when you get to looking at it statistically.

          2. Sounds like something that could happen around Columbus in the bad neighborhoods. This wasn’t a normal middle class town.
            Listen to the names and it makes a little more sense. Appears that the neighbors were pretty rational about it at least. What a dipshit.

      1. I’ve been hoarding sugar and spice and snips (along with fireflies and katydids), but the damn Frenchman across the way keeps eating all the snails and puppy tails…
        Probably never get to keep the kids I make anyway, got a tiger to feed…

        1. No. It’s just that if are going to go the white windowless van route, duct tape is apparently the chic accessory. But Chip seems to be the authority on this… 😉

  5. This is a great article that reminds me of a lesson I learned many years ago. I used to work with this useless fat oaf who was the epitome of weakness in every single regard. We were all screwing around one day and I challenged him to an arm wrestle. Well, I got proper PWNED by said oaf and was quite surprised.
    After work I saw him walking home with his son who was 4 or 5 at the time. He was hefting him up on his hip, hauling him up onto his shoulders, swinging him around…
    I am now a firm believer that just having a toddler around will benefit your upper body development.

      1. Years and years ago I had a Filipino trainer who was tiny (but pound for pound maybe the strongest guy I ever knew). He would curl up in a ball and lock his arms and I would swing him like a kettle bell.

          1. indeed it is. he is still on my Instagram. Let me see if I can find a picture of it.

        1. I used to do BJJ with a guy like that. When he went “turtle”, there was no breaking his guard (his favorite tactic was chilling out in his little ball while you wore yourself out trying to pick him up and shake or smash him loose).

          1. ha. I can see it. This guy was tiny, maybe 130 pounds, but it was all freaking muscle. He would stand on your back while you did pushups. He was a great trainer

          1. I support erecting more, larger Frank Rizzo statues. Maybe replace a few Franklins.
            This guy is somewhere in Europe (note the un-cut dik)

              1. “and gentlemen, if you will look over to your right, you will see a statue erected in 1952 of a man with a uncut dik, punting a baby.

            1. my first problem with this woulda been the fact he is PUNTING A BABY, but hey, to each his own

          1. An ode to Romania and its gypsies? A visual of a western tourist visiting the wrong side of Calcutta? My first day working at Planned Parenthood?

    1. Never arm wrestle a guy who uses a push wheelchair. I am good friends with this guy who got paralyzed in Vietnam, spent his years as a welder. Never seen anyone take him down.

      1. I pirated TBs of shit. THe music mostly became useless with my paid Spotify subscription but I have every book, fiction, non-fiction and comic, pretty much every printed. Hundreds of thousands of them. I also have a few TB of movies that I never watch, but yeah, back in my torrenting days I did love the bay of pirate as well as h33t

      1. you got me chip. i’m a big twink!
        jeeez…insecure in your masculinity much? If only their was some echo chamber for weak men to jerk each other off and blame the world for their own problems. Oh, wait, there is:
        Hope I don’t get banned for posting a link…oh wait…that doesn’t happen here.

        1. Accusing me of being insecure about my masculinity, while you comment about tossing salads and what’s in dudes rectums….. Gay.

            1. My mom smacked me silly the first time I said that – she was certain I exclaimed “O DICK!”
              (I was still using ‘C’s back then)

    1. BANNED for posting a pic of that thing without a warning! Some of us haven’t had breakfast yet!


      On a side note, I’m quite glad he’s not over at Breitbart anymore. Half the articles were just sleezy pictures… of him.

  6. Well, here I am. I also got banned from ROK without any explanation. I am glad this new project exists!

        1. Good thinking. Roosh took to actively banning anybody who mentioned this site and then erasing their posts, from what I saw there last. He’s turned into quite the bitchy little queen lately.

          1. I wonder if he regrets his decision as of yet. Can’t expect to be liked if you go around kicking all your friends in the nuts.

            1. To be honest, I don’t have any rancor against him, just that I don’t understand what’s going on in his head.

              1. Same here, I have a sneaking suspicion that he is going through a mid-life crisis of sorts. The dude is nearly 40 and hasn’t started a family. He just went through a relationship with that “traditional” E. European chick. Not sure if that has anything to do with it, just speculation. By some articles, he laments not having the traditional life, by others he wants to continue the game.

                Lolknee and I have talked about this several times, you make a choice in life on how you want to live, and you go with it. With either choice comes good and bad. By his lifestyle, he has more access to women, I have more access to a traditional nuclear family. Where people get burned is in trying to do both half-assed, like Roosh is, or like the carousel riding tramps running into the impending wall.

                  1. The Roosh Coup d’état of 2017. We need a UN resolution to condemn that and blame the Jews for it.

                    1. heh, wot? Do you mind if I come up with my own conspiracy theories please (ok, how much do you want for it, secretly I quite like it?)

                  2. I frequented a site many years ago (GWB years) where the site owner rocketed up and actually got some attention from the MSM. In the end, it wasn’t him he drove the traffic, but the quality of the commentors drove the site as the people posting were from all over the world with some experienced or deep backgrounds. If I recall, he was invited to join the grounding of PJ Media just to get bounced (back story was he wanted to be the only one to call the shots). Within a few months he flipped 180 degrees from his previous positions and purged 100s of commentors over the course of a few months. Many simply left as the main commentators walked way or were banned.
                    His site is stilll around, but a shadow compared to his glory days.

                    1. same thing happened to…the commentators were the ones who submitted stories and dug up evidence.

                    2. Ha. Same at the other place. Jealousy is an ugly thing to behold, but claiming others efforts as your own is abhorrent.

                1. That’s all on record about his mid life reflections in his articles prior to Charlottesville and prior to the crackdown on alt right sites, but honestly has anyone heard Roosh speak in person since then? His communication has since all been in text form with his monacre – but is it actually him is the question.

                  Donovan Sharpe has been on live podcast in following articles but has HE spoken to Roosh lately and not just in text form? At first with the bans, Roosh had a comment saying “I am the only moderator and am responsible for the bans”. It too was in text. Then an article by Roosh about having been in some ‘study’ for the previous month simulating corporate grind work and being drained and tired afterwards. Hmm. . . It sounded like some sort af academic study, something along the lines of the Millgram experiment where subjects are paid to ‘volunteer’ in a research psych study. A ‘corporate’ work habits study maybe?? If he were in a tiring study, then who would tend to the site meanwhile? A woman or gf?? Naah. Roosh would never. What if she goes hamster and bans people?

                  It was just a speculation, though it wouldn’t be hard to imagine Roosh apbroached by suits and threatened with a clusterfuck by deep state goons if he didn’t step back while some government assholes take over his mouse for a bit. He could soundhorn an alarm if his site was intact and he had a full audience but if the site were hacked and reduced considerably, it would be like a strategic kick in the nuts.

                  Alex Jones’s site is mega big and with a full staff of witnesses in office working 24/7, so a government raid or clusterfucking would immediately backfire. But Roosh was basically on his own so a knock on the door wouldn’t be like barging in on infowars where sirens and floodlights and live upstream of the perpetrator goons and snakes would commence. Still Roosh did have many friends and supporters and the thing is the ideas on the site were literally viral. Ideas whose time had come. If you browse the site, keep mindful that it has ben cut down with critical bans most likely to silence any whistleblowing and also watch for any hints indicating that the place may be under siege of some sort. I hope it isn’t.

                  1. Interesting speculation, but I’m going to stick to the principle of Occam’s Razor: Chances are he was spooked by all the internet censorship going around and cleaned house in order to preserve his site.

            1. Yeah, I know. Give it time, he’ll find something to purge you for eventually. He purged Bem, for goodness sake, a dude who is utterly inoffensive, meek, mild and sidekick-ish, so he can and will ban anybody! Heh

              1. I don’t thik Bem was actually banned…think he just wanted to be one of the cool kids.

                1. And I’m either always cool or never cool, though I have trouble recalling which. Besides, so long as it hasn’t happened, I can keep peeing in the puddle.

                  1. careful…next step will be ROK mod looking at the board here to make sure he bans anyone who comes to both sites.

                    1. I’m going to choose to read that as though you’re from Trinidad, partially because why not? And partially because I wanted to type Trinidad at least once today.

                    1. I like Spider..He told Tommy to “fuck off” .. of course he was killed soon after, but he had balls

                    2. Henry Hill never looked better but in film. I enjoyed the movie, but the guy obviously never obtained rank.

    1. they must have found out that you have a heart, a brain and a dick. That combination is a violation of new policy.

        1. funny, because θυμός in ancient greek (Thumos) is part of the triparte soul according to plato…specifically the part related to the virtues of masculinity and the warrior…it is often translated as Spiritedness or Courage and has a connotation of masculinity very much akin to having a who has a bigger dick contest o the cowardly lion is, indeed, just right.

            1. unlike the banana slug who, despite having small numbers wrt penis size, is at roughly 1:1 ratio with its own body making it one of the most well hung animals penis to body ratio wise in the world.

                1. 12 feet, but on a 120 foot body so 1:10 ratio not nearly as impressive as the 1:1 of the mighty banana slug.

      1. You snagged that from the First Draft of Wizard of Oz – they couldn’t get “if I only had a dik..” past the censors…

            1. I’m telling you bem, everytime you say that, George Carlin is clapping a little in an alternate dimension. I would say heaven, but I can’t quite picture him there. Hell neither. Somewhere in between that is not purgatory, he is just…smiling down on us.

        1. Now is the perfect time to do that first draft wiz what with all the transdoodles. The wizard can tell the cowardly lion that he was really Catelyn Jenner all along and if he clicks his heels together 3 times he can take a piss in the same room as Dorothy.

      1. Scrolling through ROK comments, we still need spicynujak, zyzz, BOB SMITH, TheOnceAndFutureKing, Hubert Cumberdale, BlueEyedDevil……so we are getting close.

            1. Bob has some keen insights despite some of his obsecure positions on certain topis, but he doesn’t push it on others. I would welcome his presence here.

              1. I think the net makes for a helluva confessional booth…even when you are confessing others sins

                    1. ‘knee, this should refresh your memory:

                      God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers?

                      I think that’s what I recall some seemingly-languid and lugubrious yet passionate (oh, so very, passionate), slightly more sophisticated than average, lass, was screaming at the instant of mourir la petit mort, so to speak, instead of the more pedestrian, “Oh, God!”, whilst getting plungered by I, mistralesque, in an alley behind the bistro slightly off the Left Bank (in French, of course, so I might err, but only slightly.)

                      Sacre merde, I haven’t thought of that in years, this calls for a stiff Courvoisier…

                    2. 2000000 points you and an extra +10 for Sacre merde an expression I’ve not heard in a loooong time

                    3. 100000000 points to you for getting my obscure references, +10 if one of the last times you heard it was out of me in some sleazy dive bar at about 0130 or so, I was the ghoul drinking with some big Mics, the joint was located somewheres around 42nd about 20 years before they fixed it up…

              1. Im 97.4% confident they can pull up my first email from 1994 with the subj line “Hey, is this thing on??”

              1. The old Emperor’s entire fleet could have been held off by 1 Spartan. Not even the Master Chief kind, I mean the old naked bearded guys with red capes type.

          1. As much as I love uncle Bob that is the one thing that I disagree heavily with him on. I don’t see how he can see everything as a conspiracy theory. I would be miserable if I thought like that.

            1. Regardless of how it would make me feel, and it would make me feel right wretched, the fact is that human beings are just not that competent in any wise to be able to control everything and everything. One look at any company that has more than 10 people and you’ll find chaos, misunderstandings, miscommunications and people going off on their own tangents. A cabal of some X number of families, not to mention the coordinated efforts of thousands upon thousands of people on a continual basis, to basically control everything, would be logistically AND psychologically impossible. Mega corporations fail all the time and they employ way more people than most of these “cabals”. It just doesn’t computer.

              1. Similar to how government and military employees will react when told that 9/11 was an inside job.

                “Guys, the government is nowhere near that competent and organized, I promise.”

              2. I borrowed $200k from Stearns bank . My business failed. Those guys came after me with attempted liens on my home and wage garnishing after which I declared chapter 7 and wiped out the debt and their liens. This goy outsmarted them.

          1. Ah yes, the white supremacist that identifies as an ethnic Kurd. Or possibly the other way around. It isn’t quite clear.

          2. I don’t even remember that guy so he didn’t make that big of an impact. BlueEyedDevil is someone I didn’t see eye to eye with often, but who I nevertheless enjoyed shooting the shit with.

        1. How about Edward Eastenden, AutomaticSlim, EnglishBob, jz95…or –for the entertainment value- even W.Pabst, PJClarke and Dr Kersey.
          Are they all going to come over?
          How about Roosh v himself?Is he likely to comment here anytime soon?

          1. Kersey came over for a bit and tried to ruin the fun by saying how this site was going to become another Stormfront. He didn’t last long (wasn’t banned, but he left after he realized no one was buying what he was selling).

            1. can you imagine it… Jak would have to update the server to a super computer to handle all the Youtube vids he’d post!

      2. They haven’t banned me yet even though I mentioned a kings castle plenty of times. I guess I am not popular enough.

    2. I didn’t get banned there, but it seems like the floodgates have opened, and it’s getting taken over by a new crowd. Every other post is about you know who’s. The quality of the repartee has gone downhill considerably.

  7. I don’t have children at home now. My youngest is thirty. But I do have some neighbor kids that come over to see the critters and swim in our pool. The little ones love to get on my shoulders for horsey rides. It doesn’t take very long at all to get your heart rate up and legs burning trotting around the yard with 50 lbs. of young un hanging on.

    When we have older kids over I make it a point to get them out in the yard and throw the Frisbee. You have to run and jump along with developing good hand eye coordination. It’s very functional exercise as well as being fun.

    1. Yup, just trying to keep up is exercise enough. We just put up a swing set with monkey bars and rings and stuff. Trying to do flips or showing that their old man can still beat them is hard enough (soon to not happen). My oldest is already a faster runner than me, the girls aren’t far behind. Such is life.

    2. awww man when I was in college “Ultimate Frisbee” was a big thing. Kind of a mix between Frisbee and Rugby. I got to tell you, guys would get back all bruised the fuck up. It was a club sport and we would get just as beat up as the football guys as we were in shorts and t shirts

  8. A couple or more years ago someone in the comment section of ROK turned me onto bodyweight calisthenics, and I have not looked back since. Great stuff it is, my back problems are basically gone and I am strong as an ox. Wish I could remember who it was so I could thank them.

    1. Calisthenics are often neglected in favor of weightlifting, but there’s still a place for them in any workout routine. Most work a wide swath of muscle groups in motions that are practical in every day situations. Pushups, pullups, and squats; hard to go wrong with these three. You won’t become bodybuilder big, but you’ll still get strong as hell if you keep at it and push yourself.

      1. Yep, full agreement there. I’m working up to one handed, fingertip, handstand pushups. I had a blown disc due to injury, it was pretty much bone on bone at one point, so lifting is out for me. I avoided surgery by going this route and rebuilt my core strength then kept going. Doing the bodyweight stuff is somewhat similar to lifting but without compressing my bad disc. Convict Conditioning was the book recommended to me. Weight belt or ankle weights when doing pullups to increase the resistence, bridges, one legged pistol squats etc. I’m beefier now than I have ever been so it’s all good.

        My kid is grown and out on his own so I can’t really use him as a gym anymore, however I do curls with the girlfriend so that works too haha

    2. Back?? I get my 150 lb woman to walk on my back. She has to be trusted since a woman walking on your back with your face down could break your back on a whim if she suddenly decided to stomp on your neck. Avoid fat leftist women with a grudge especially walking on your back. But a loyal 120-150 lb woman works great and gets the vertibrae all cracked and levelled out.

      This mami’s got the full setup with roof mounted handrails

        1. As you age your back can get quite tight. Toddlers doing hop on pop don’t quite weigh enough to force the spine to crack beneath the tight knotted muscles and the toddlers get to where they want to stomp on your head and pick your back pocket if you don’t pay attention. A 120+ lb teen kid can do the job but I’d put a wife to the whole hour long deal. An impatient wife wants to do something else after 5-10min until you say you’ll call up some woman to come over and finish for her. It’s not sexual but just the idea. A happy loyal cooking wife who will gladly walk on your back for 2 hrs and do it like you say and where you say is what we’re shooting for. A big fat wife can do the job like a steamroller but you want to have strong bones/ribs esepecially that aren’t calcium compromised. Elderly folks with depleted calcium can break a hip bone just from sitting down too hard or falling 1-2 feet. I advise ‘Caveman’ or similar bone broth/bone marrow superfood suppliment for good bone maintenance before you hit middle ages.

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