Cultivating Courage

I like to define courage as doing what you have to do when things are going crazy.  In an age when whining and complaining about the things you have to do are all the rage, having the balls to step up to the plate when you may be unsure is a notable thing.  Today we’ll discuss what courage is, how you can apply it differently, and how to keep yourself always prepared to rise to the occasion.

I started thinking about this over the weekend.  I’m at the position to buy my real family home and I have no idea what the hell I’m doing.  I realized that I had to push myself into the zone of uncomfortably and get my head into a process that I haven’t done before.  Lots of questions, screw ups, and time but I got things figured out.  Jumping into something worthwhile that is new to you can be a little intimidating.  Staying true to the goal while killing fear is where you want to be.  I believe, this is where you thrive as a man.  You have to push yourself past the level of comfort, but not so extreme that you panic or get in over your head.

My level of courage here is nothing compared to people like military or police.  They put their lives on the line and I wont take that away from them.  That said, being courageous is something all men need to start practicing.

The Plan

You probably see where this is going, but I’ll spell it out.  If you want to get better at things, you have to start doing them.  If you sit around waiting for someone to give you the kick in the ass you need, you won’t make it anywhere.

The only true way to get past the fear, and show true courage is to face it head on.  You have to want to face something that scares you.  Forcing yourself just over the edge o communicability is the key here.  We don’t want it to be so difficult that you’re in over your head, but not so easy that it isn’t challenging.

For example,  if you’ve never stood up for yourself in your life, being confident and sure of yourself isn’t just going to happen one day when you wake up.  You have to get the hell up out of bed and tell yourself that you’re not going to put up with any shit.   When said shit arrives, you have to kill any urges to continue on being a bitch and stand up for yourself. I’m sure after a while, standing up for yourself would be something you’d just naturally do.

Conclusion

Today’s post was quick because I believe that I’ve said all I can on this topic.  I believe that getting out of your comfort zone and pushing yourself into unknown waters is good for your overall development.  As men we are expected to be courageous and take things on that others cannot.  The next time you’re up against something you’re unfamiliar with, jump in and try to figure it out.  Note, that wasting too much time on something you’re incapable of doing isn’t good either.  You’ll know when you can complete the task, and when you are in over your head.   Just taking the initiative to do something is half the battle.

 

-J. Nyx

Author: Jnyx

Fitness addict, DIY guru, tech nerd, member of Memesters Local 419.

299 thoughts on “Cultivating Courage”

  1. “I started thinking about this over the weekend. I’m at the position to buy my real family home and I have no idea what the hell I’m doing.” – Jynx, do I understand this statement correctly? Are you in the process of purchasing a home? If you have questions or need some guidance, let me know… I spent over a decade in the mortgage business and I’m happy to share information on debt, credit, creative financing options, whatever, etc…

    1. Not to be off topic, but this is a great example. If someone is going through something difficult, more often than not, there are people to help out to offer encouragement and guidance. There is a reason that the Napoleonic tactic of lining a company of soldiers together to march lockstep into a wall of fire existed. Courage is stronger when people are helping each other.

    2. And does this imply that your current home is somehow NOT real? I find that to be a much more interesting possibility.

  2. You’ll never know what you’re capable of until you actually do it. I found that out when I started my career at 19. I was very sheltered and introverted growing up and was pretty much thrown into a career I knew nothing about. Having never been away from my family, I was shipped across the country very unexpectedly for a few weeks, then was thrown to the wolves when I came back home.

  3. Getting out of your comfort zone is very important. It’s like exercise; sitting around doing nothing will kill you prematurely. We thrive on challenge and adversity. Part of that is facing the unknown. Taking on things we have never done before and pushing through, sometimes with all our might until we overcome builds us up as men. It prepares us for more and bigger challenges.

    Several years ago I was discussing my childhood with my mother and how it had affected me as an adult. I was the first born and although we weren’t starving, we were not affluent at all. My mother pointed out that I had gone through a lot more adversity growing up than my siblings did. She said “That was my fault”.

    I told her not to be sorry about it, because that was what drove me to be successful as a man. She explained that she wasn’t sorry I went through it. She said it was her fault that my siblings *hadn’t* gone through it as well. And I can tell you without a doubt that facing the realities of being cold, eating what you have and being unmercifully picked on will make you develop courage, whether you like it or not.

    But it doesn’t end there. Building courage is a life long process. There will always be new challenges and fears we must overcome if we look for them. I intend to do just that until I am no longer physically able. Then I will face that final unknown of the other side with as much courage as I can muster.

                    1. jesus christ or jewish chronicle? how about a compromise: king james version of the jewish chronicle?

            1. I always get esau mixed up with eeyore and end up picturing jacob pretending to be his dad’s favourite donkey

        1. Firstborn (and only) son, two younger sisters. Eldest grandchild as well.

    1. Courage is usually seen as an outward response to an external challenge. I’d posit that it’s also something that you need to muster in order to conquer your own inner conflicts and demons. Sometimes the hardest challenge a man can face isn’t the battlefield or taking a leap into the future with a new home or a life and death situation, but rather, turning inward and both sussing out your own demons and then doing what you can to conquer them and expel them from your life. The hardest part of this, for anybody, is recognizing his faults as faults and not as somebody elses problem, owning it and then doing what is necessary to correct these faults and make restitution to those he harmed, both to friends and families, or self, or both.

      1. He was driving the boat and got the fuk gone after snapping that shot.

        (total speculation/fabrication on my part)

        1. A whole mess of those landing craft were sunk or the pilot nailed at some point in entry or retreat (of the landing craft). Not safe to assume survival of anybody when talking about D-Day.

      2. The photographer probably did survive D-Day…the soldiers on picture….most likely didn’t.

          1. your folder reminds me of one of my first gigs, napster just debuted. zillions of mp3 files of the corp network, admin had no idea why the network was running so slowly(letting file up/download all day didnt help either). oh man, you shoulda seen that guy explode when he figured it out…never seen an IT that enraged

            1. hahahah yes I remember the Dawn of Napster….our network was churning along slower than a Vic 20 before the IT guy discover that a solid 1/3 of the machines here were ripping shit off Napster all day long…

              1. Nobody remembers Napster now…except maybe the band Metallica who tried to take t#Napster to court in 2000/2001…

                1. Yep, if you’re not a millennial or older, your response will be the same as if someone said something about Blockbuster or Hollywood Video.

                  1. Milennials know punk, they know Guns n Roses (before the reunion), they know a lot of classic bands. I’ve talked with a lot of them about music.

                2. napster ruined the music business. I knew some guys in bands who were signed to sub labels of the majors- by 03/04 these guys were gone

                    1. all the bands that werent earners or in the wrong genres got axed…punk bands, alternative bands, etc…the labels trimmed all the fat

                    2. Well, punk, alternative, extreme metal etc bands mostly produced records independently anyway. Very few of them made it with larger record producer.
                      Radios and advertisers are going to play Rihanna, Drake, Nicky Minaj etc not RHCP, NOFX, Cannibal Corpse or Marduk…

                    3. except when he is forced to take a ride with Briggs to the shipyards where the Magnum Force are gonna get him!

                    4. see if they have an .88 magnum…they shoot thru trees…and schools..and more trees

                    5. I have a retired friend who purchased a S&W stainless 50 caliber revolver. I asked him what is the purpose of that weapon. He responded: “absolutely none whatsoever”

                    6. I saw a few desert eagles .50 fired at the range over the years. Maybe it was the owners, but accuracy was an issue.

                    7. Plus you don’t hold your wrist entirely rock solid as if it were made of pure steel, and the damned things are prone to jam on you. Which is fine on a range where you can focus, but in real life that seems like it would get really impractical in combat.

                    8. I gave the same answer to somebody who asked me why I would want such a gun. “No reason whatsoever, it is entirely impractical”

                    9. Super Blackhawk. Love mine. Great for felling trees, deer, car blocks….helicopters….it’s really versatile.

                    10. I wish. For whatever reason, when that movie came out, I was thinking “Man, that would be so fucking cool to be the resistance that defeats the Russians and kicks their tails back to Russia!”. You don’t really think things through fully when you’re 18.

                    11. camping forever w/o pans of lasagna made by mom? souds horrible.
                      that remake originally had the chinese invading, had to switch em to NK…good thing they look alike

                    12. Plus it gave us a great go-to line when we wanted to get out of the company of people who were boring us: *point behind the person* “Russian paratroopers!”

                    13. I know it’s always been fashionable to rip on them, but those big corporate producers used to go out looking for actual talent to sign on, instead of finding simply a pretty face whose voice could be electro-modulated. It’s because of those big record producers that we have all of the rock music from the 1950’s through the late 1990’s. Every big name, totally awesome talented band, almost always with ugly singers who had talent on their side, from those “greedy big corporate” producers. Sure they were sketchy personalities, but the profit motive drove them out to seek real talent. The real talent left the field when they figured out that nobody was paying for music much anymore, outside of boring corporate bubblegum who throw concerts for girls.

                    14. yea, the BF of a girl I worked with was and AR guy- dude totally loved his life(I wonder if that job even exists anymore)…getting paid to check out bands(plus expense account) and possibly discovering the “nexy big thing” sounds like a cool gig

                    15. That ranks up there with Playboy Photographer on a young man’s fantasy job back in 1979.

                    16. I knew a guy who was VP at ESP, the guitar brand favored by metal players. Guy had connections all through the music industry and got more ass than a proctologist — and he was ugly as sin. He required his girlfriend to give him daily blow jobs, like “It’s six pm, you know what that means.”

                    17. dunno, I lost touch with him. he had the best music business stories. we used to talk about prince a lot.

                    18. ESP picked up a lot of artist endorsements after having dumped (company that rhymes with Flibson) over the last several years. There are lots of YouTube videos about that.

                    19. well in fairness to the big G, ESP was always a Metal guitar & aimed its product at young shredders while the big G rested on its laurels as tone of the “rock gods of the late 60s – 1970s”

                    20. You have to admit that targeting the teenage girl demographic was a genious move. Most guilable audience ever bar youngens.

                    21. Ugh Spice Girls were the worst. The history of the pop music can be slit into 2: pre and post Spice Girls

                    22. the music biz has become so calculating they have focus groups to test out themes to see if they will sell; they even test out keywords…

                    23. Seriously. Who cares? I watch music to be entertained, and there are few things more entertaining than hot women shaking their asses. If I want to listen to good music, I’ll listen to Classical or Heavy Metal.

                    24. Oh, no question. But I think it was a fallback due to actual artists throwing up their hands and walking away. While there’s always been a bit of target for women, young males pumped some *serious* cash into music growing up, that now no longer do. I mean we were obsessed, to the point of painting band murals on the sides of vans, installing $3000 of speakers into a $200 car, etc. Girls will go to concerts and buy pretty posters, but I’d wager they spent nowhere near what young men used to on music.

                    25. Bloody he’ll that is a lot of work and money spent just to impress women. I would argue that the 70s-80s were big on idolising but there was also people showing off within their peer groups/subcultures as thingg were more social.
                      At least that’s the impression I get off people who grew up in that era.

                    26. Guys weren’t doing it to impress women, that I’m aware of. When you had a professional airbrush artist slap the Caress Of Steel album cover art on the side of your van, that was nearly a spergy type of thing that had little if anything to do with women.

                    27. Hell if anything, they were kind of a thing a woman had to “get over” if she wanted to be with the guy who owned the van. I think the current pedalisation today is taken as he de facto way it’s always been, which is not even close to the reality we grew up in.

                    28. I just love the message a tricked out van sends…..showing up to pick up your date in a de-facto rolling sex suite. Fathers everywhere saw them as Harbingers of Doom….

                    29. Little Suzie getting fingered in the back of a Rush can. Oh Lord…..she could be someone’s mother now

                    30. Grandmother…..
                      When I was a kid this dikhead (not OUR dckhead here) across the street had an old-ass van airbrushed with Rocky Horror Picture Show characters and imagery. Even at 7 yrs old I thought ‘what a faeg….’.

                    31. No, not always. I had a 1962 Ford Econoline van when I was 17. My girlfriend’s father helped me panel it, carpet it and even build a bed in the back! I guess he figured we were gonna do the monkey dance no matter what, so she might as well be comfortable, lol.

                    32. Truth be known that was my first wife. But you’re right, it only lasted ten years. But I still have some fond memories from the back of that old beater van.

                    33. For a Puerto Rican…you surely use a hella lot of British vernacular “Bloody hell” and “mate”…

                    34. Some of that auto sound system competition was pure primal chest pounding. It was to impress (certain types of) girls, sure. But when it came down to multiple alternators and batteries, amps measured in kilowatts and sound pressure so high your ear drums distorted, that was purely for dik measuring purposes.

                      I had acquaintances who knew that I was an electronics tech and sought out my help on these competition systems. You had to use instrumentation to determine the “winner” while wearing ear plugs. The only girls that would impress were ones who wanted to see who could go deaf the fastest.

                      I put together systems for pennies on the dollar in my vehicles when these (now deaf) bone heads were hard up for beer and gas money. You can save a lot of money banking on stupidity.

                    35. I recall being nearly struck deaf by looped renditions of Fly By Night in my buddy’s brother’s car, after hearing about all the upgrades/speakers he’d put in first of course.

                    36. Never could stand the assholes who rolled down the street with the bass and volume set to max so their whole car sounded like it was about to rattle apart. They always struck me as imbeciles.

                    37. Different era. Giant ass bass boxes didn’t exist (or at least, not that I ever heard) back in the early 1980’s. I didn’t start seeing the monster woofers until the early-mid 1990’s.

                    38. Nope. I care for them the same as I care for Hollywood.
                      And by that I mean I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire.

                  1. Yep, if anybody was around then using Napster, that today is bitching about music all being corporate dreck written by machines and sung by trained monkies chosen for physical beauty instead of talent, they have nowhere else to look but the mirror. You take away the financial incentive to produce by instituting a Commie Rip Off The Artists It’s Community Property model, well, you get what you get.

                    1. “Commie Rip Off The Artists It’s Community Property”
                      Excellent description of napster and most so-called “sharing” initiatives.

                    2. how else was I supposed to get public enemy and wu tang clan singles? I sure as hell wasnt gonna buy their entire albums haha

                    3. There was an affordable solution back in the 90’s if you were a classical music but didn’t have enough money. There was a more affordable version of several classics by an independent label. For instance, The Fifth Symphony from Beethoven…except instead of the Berlin Philharmonic it was played by the Slovenian/Georgian/Estonian etc national orchestra and instead of von Karajan it was conducted by a lesser known conductor. Without them many of us would have been able to access and enjoy classical music.

                    4. Meh: music industry seems to get pissy when told that the world and technology has changed and they have to be a little creative in how to make money on their product. I get it. The record shops are gone and everything is online. It is no longer 1985. If these fossils had any creative juice in them they would minutize differently instead of trying to use a business model that has been totally irrelevant since the late 1990’s and crying a river that it isn’t working any more. Fuck, they whole music industry can go have a pity party with typewriter repair men, librarians and hair spray companies.

                    5. It seems that the way most of the women are adapting is by turning themselves into prostitutes that can also sing….sort of.

                    6. MTV was great until those lawsuits to make them more
                      “inclusive”. Ever since it’s been like a big turd rolling down a hill of turds, it just keeps getting bigger.

                    7. Yes, don’t really remember the details now but, there was talk of black artists suing MTV because they didn’t play many black artists videos. Then the record companies jumped on board saying ” play this or else!”. Then ” Yo! MTV Raps started and later it all went to hell.
                      It started as a channel that played ROCK music videos, it was great too.

                    8. They were talking sex in the old days but, at least you had to THINK about it to understand/ figure out. Now they just draw a picture for listeners.

                    9. Nature of the medium which people interact with the world now. Can’t blame one thing. Just a differen world now. Every generation has its dinosaurs who are scared of the modern world and complain everything was better when they were young. It wasn’t. Ask the people who were old then. They would say it sucked and was better when they were young.

                      People don’t like change.

                    10. Me thinks you just see it more than before because of the technology. It’s been there, just wasn’t being broadcast and discussed constantly online

                    11. Nothing new under the sun and there is a lot of good music out there. Pop has turned to shit because record companies refuse to adapt but there is a lot of good stuff from smaller labels or even being put out independently.

                      they are selling sex. Sure. But that’s not new. Shame there isn’t more creativity trying to figure out ways that the new technology can help them rather than sink them.

                      Some people would rather cry about heir problems than fix them

                    12. the prostitutes dont need to know how to sing either , prostitute + Auto Tune = instant Aretha Franklin talent.

                    13. I agree with that, things changed and instead of record companies moving fast enough to keep up and spending a little coin on research to figure it out, they pissed away their money on lobbyists and trying to pass legislation to keep the status quo resulting in them being SOL.

                    14. Disagree. The current trend in music in catering almost exclusively to women/girls via corporate created “stars” seems to me like they did their research.

                    15. The current trend developed only after the earlier changes in technology. Now that music sells cheap they just get it out as cheaply as possible. Hire a few session players for peanuts who are begging for job to play for the recording and the the tour and can be easily replaced.
                      If you have a real band they all want a cut along with having to keep an eye on all the different members to make sure they don’t post something on social media or say something in an interview that could ruin them forever in the Age Of Offense. The members aren’t easily replaced etc where if a sessions player does/says something stupid he can be replaced at a moments notice.
                      That being said though, I think there is still a huge market for good ole guitar rock that’s not being served. There’s millions of kids out there listening to the same stuff you and I did back in the day, where in the old days we hardly listened to the music of prior generations.

                    16. Say that with respect! heh

                      One of my bucket list things was seeing what remains of Lynyrd Skynyrd perform Freebird before the every last original member died. Achieved that goal in 2015 at Sturgis. Was *not* disappointed, even though half the band was born after LS went away in the 1980’s.

                    17. Yup. And the crazy thing is that these are supposed to be the creative ones…

                      I don’t know the solution but if I had a few billion dollars and access to some of the most creative people in the world I bet I’d have a fair shot at coming up with something

                    18. They tell me money can’t buy happiness, I wish I had enough to prove them wrong.

                    19. I had to research the source of that quote. I thought it came from Keith Moon originally, but to my surprise it came from a 1970s sports figure. Who knew??

                    20. “You take away the financial incentive to produce by instituting a Commie Rip Off The Artists It’s Community Property model”

                      Please elaborate. I don’t know what you’re referring to. Do you mean that a standard music contract was communist because artists knowingly signed over the rights to their music once it was complete?

                    21. No. I mean that Napster said “Hey, here’s music that artists and producers created at their own expense, that we’re giving to you for free to rip off, because fuck property rights”.

                    22. “You take away the financial incentive to produce by instituting a Commie Rip Off The Artists It’s Community Property model,”

                      In Germany these types formed their own poltical party.

                      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pirate_Party_Germany

                      A few years ago they had their booth and were passing out literature, so I asked them what did they represent? When he was done, I asked what else do you think you are entitled to have at other peoples expense? I mean, the R&D for the software and IT development costs have to come from somewhere. Who pays for that? Couldn’t answer. LOL

                    23. To these types, things just appear by magic and everybody is entitled to them, because magic.

                      Total idiots, the lot of them.

                    24. Well most are young student types, so they have a shot at redemption. Not the old hippies though. LOL.

                    25. Marx was such a dope. It ceases to be a means of production once seized by incompetent morons.

                      I had an old friend from Chile who was around during the Allende years who told me about a neighbor he had who ran a small printing shop with two employees. Allende was encouraging the public to do exactly that when it was clear he wasn’t going to last— seize the means of production.

                      Neighbor opens the shop, his two employees show up with guns and “take over the his shop in the name of the people.” He leaves. The “new owners” promptly ran the business into the ground within a week. The machines broke down and went unrepaired, orders unfulfilled, customer cancellations, suppliers didn’t get paid, etc.. in the end the two crooks looted what had value and smashed the rest.

                      If you want a current macro version of same, look at Venzuela.

                    26. Marx was wise about how things worked, but neanderthal about what to do about it. The biggest fallacy to his and all forms of collectivism is that wealth, innovation, creation, etc are naturally occurring resources, available to all.
                      And that is the though-pattern behind Napster – that somehow a man’s creative output magically becomes public property.

                    27. I still posit that the biggest flaw in their method of thinking is that they refuse to acknowledge basic human behavior.

                    28. Marx is the actual leftist archetype. An unaccomplished layabout who never worked and lived off others.

                    29. I thought he worked pretty hard at fathering illegitimate offspring, drinking, abandoning his family and spreading venereal disease. A man has to persue his talents…

                    30. Don’t forget that he was from a well off family and one of his uncles founded the Phillips corporation in Eindhoven, Netherlands. Even offered the dude a job!

                    31. But don’t you realize human nature can be changed if you take the children young enough and, teach them gay rights, social justice and the evil inferiority of the white European patriarchal male? If they can all be convert into transgendered, socialistic environmentalists we will realize paradise on earth! What a glorious day that will be! You know, no running water or electricity, open sewers, labor camps, famine, disease…glorious.

                    32. That’s true for 80% of people, but there always seems to be this 20% or so who are immune to that kind of conditioning. For example, the <25 Millenial Males who are listening to rock and roll now and starting to head out to shoot guns and work on cars out of some kind of organic feeling that "what they taught isn't right".

                    33. 1. Revolution
                      2. ?
                      3. Heaven on earth!
                      You can sum up all of socialist doctrine into simply “gimmedat.”

                    34. There was some trickery afoot with that. They made a big deal of making it seem like that in the press though, if I recall correctly.

                    35. If GM would have filed chapter 11, they could have reoragnized and stopped circling the drain. Instead the were give other peoples money and all those valuable UAW employees did not suffer a thing.

          2. Now if you were really good you could replace the soldiers with girls in slutty costumes and replace the shore of Normandy with a bar that say she happy Halloween and title it “get some D Day”

    1. Again ?! Quick let’s hide the Nazi stick flags and get some US. stick flags to wave when they arrive !

      1. I thought that the French decided at some point to just stick to one white flag to avoid confusion as various nations traipsed across their nation?

        heh

        1. Why do I suddenly feel like sticking a white flag into a french bashing scotsman’s throat.

  4. Just a few words of caution: getting out of your comfort zone may be better to get done in small steps. The only person really knowing your limits is yourself. There is no solid generic advice on how to do it.
    For someone who already has kids and has been red-pilled for a long time than someone who has recently red-pilled and is a natural introvert.
    Take one step at the time.

    1. That’s pretty decent advice. I couldn’t do it, but most probably can. I’m all or nothing. I’m either leaping with the angels, or I’m sticking solid on my current patch of ground. For some reason moderation and incrementalism have never worked for me personality wise. I’ve tried it a now and then with certain things, but end up just staying where I was before I tried.

      1. sometimes you just have to hit the nuke button and say fuck it then worry about the shockwaves at a later time.

        1. That’s really the only way I *can* do things, truth be told. I don’t think I ever achieved a personal goal through incrementalism.

          1. same here, like indirect game. It makes me feel like a tool at the bars. I’d rather go in balls deep and get them cutoff.

    2. Its interesting that you mention comfort as something that must be overcome; as something almost antithetical to courage. I said it before (probably though a picture…) that during the course of the day you make hundreds of decisions. Courage is found in consistently doing what needs to be done, regardless of potential loss of comfort and convenience. Even in the
      most mundane of lives, I’m sure one can find instances of backing down from ‘making waves’ or ‘becoming exposed’. Minimizing and ultimately eliminating these cases would be a case of the One Step at a Time you suggest.

      1. That’s not the point. If you have just recovered from a major illness..
        First you go for short walk and then maybe for a run around the block. You are not going to go right away to run a marathon.

    3. Sometimes you won’t know your limits until you cross them.

      Case in point, I installed a toilet for the first time in my life. The instructions kept emphasizing “Do not over tighten. Hand tighten plus, 1/4 turn. Etc.” So I ended up overtightening the base screws resulting in a loud ‘crack’ and undertightening the tanks screws resulting in a sudden leak. If I have to ever install another toilet I will know it’s limits and do it flawlessly.

      I say know the edge and learn to balance on it as you seek to develop and progress to higher peaks.

  5. Courage comes in many flavors:

    Physical
    Intellectual
    Entrepreneurial
    Emotional

    I admire all of them.

      1. I drove all the way from Tupelo Mississippi to Chicago Illinois on a Massey Ferguson tractor, on one tank o gas!

          1. Can’t remember it’s been so long so listened to it. I used to laugh at ” Mudbone” until my head hurt though.

  6. Some are born with more courage than others, but never forget that courage can be learned and developed through practice and effort. Also, as with everything else in life, courage has a dangerous flip side – recklessness. Blindly ignoring fear IS NOT courage, it is foolish. Don’t overdo it. Focus on goals and apply the courage you have wisely to reach them.

  7. I’m in the middle of taking some bold initiative this morning. Have a meeting at 9am, showed up at 8. Damn sloppy handwriting.

  8. OT, but its “pretend youre elected someone who represents you” day- whats going on around your way? guy running for gov in NJ is ex- banker who is running on a “raise taxes on everything/let’s make NJ a sanctuary state like CA” platform aaaaaaannnnd it looks like he will still win

      1. I don’t think anyone ever consciously plans to – it just kinda happens….perhaps as punishment for not having a plan.

  9. Everyone thinks of me as brave for the things I do in a daily basis… Such as starting businesses despite no formal training or immigrating to a wholly different country knowing only a few words of the language, talking to a bitch I don’t know, or physically moving a member of a row of spooks outta my way while walking down the pavement (what I’m gonna walk around six fucking people?) But, to me, these are just things that a man has to do to succeed in life, I can’t imagine the shame of a life stuck in indecision and paralysis.

    I’ve only ever thought of myself as brave when doing the things I didn’t have to do that I knew could hurt or kill me, and funnily enough, those are my fondest memories.

  10. For most people just not whining about everything would be a good start.
    They whine like the smallest thing going wrong is the end of the world. In my younger days when things went wrong I got mad, sometimes REALLY mad. As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to take that stuff in stride, as an old black guy told me one time, ” sometimes it just be like that, hush up and handle it”.

      1. Tony Soprano might be the greatest tv character of all time. honorable mention to Pa Ingalls and Admiral Adama

          1. Honestly, I’d put him at #4…the season where he met the dying wife of the man whose identity he’d assumed was brutal
            edit youve clearly never watched batttlestar galactica and dont remember little house on the prairie

                  1. Really good show. Walter was not an alpha, but many things he did resembled a “Fuck you, I’m out” attitude, and given his situation, I get it. Plus eventually he becomes a situational alpha, which given his start, is pretty awesome. Other times, he fails pretty hard, but it makes his character human in ways that many others haven’t been on the screen. Skyler, btw, is a total cunt. Just sayin’.

        1. Tony (and really that whole cast) were all such relatable characters. I always wondered how that show played out in the sticks where first hand experience of these types isn’t a common thing

            1. The type is everywhere for sure, but there is so much specific regional stuff in that show. I guess the underpinning universality of the archetype is what gives it its mass appeal

              1. Mebbe so, those cats that nobody should fuck with can be found all over although only New Yorkers can say “I’m gonna break your fockin legs” properly.

            2. Yep yep yep. Accent different, appearance different, clothes different, but code and hierarchy the same more or less. Men organize into things like this. It’s universal, no culture except a few stone age African tribes exempted.

  11. I’d like to see a practical plan somewhere for developing courage. In that spirit I’ll share some of my own techniques.

    -Gradual Desensitization: Pretty basic, simply expose yourself to your fears in gradual increments, pushing a little further each time. The trick is not to overwhelm yourself. Go just over the edge so that it’s exciting – this will motivate you to keep going and makes facing your fears a fun challenge, and something to look forward to.
    -Connect Thought, Word and Action: When I was first learning to stand up for myself I would often find myself in a rage over some injustice, but in the heat of the moment I couldn’t seem to express myself. What I started doing was, that I would go somewhere private with a mirror or camera and just say what I was feeling, and what I wanted to say, finding expression for my emotions. By doing this I quickly learnt how to express my disapproval when somebody was pushing my boundaries. Making that connection between thought and word made the action almost automatic – or at least much easier. It’s about developing a habit.
    -Be The One Who Looks: This is something I got from Jordan Peterson, and I highly recommend his videos. What he explains is that the Eye of Horus is shown at the top of the pyramid because the Eye is at the top of all possible sets of dominance hierarchies. In order to cultivate the ability to rise to the top, to be dominant socially or in the environment, is to turn the eye outward. What self-conscious or cowardly people are doing is they are looking inward and perceiving their own weaknesses and insecurities. But if you look at other people, look at the situation that frightens you, with the same critical eye, you can start to see their weaknesses and insecurities, you can see the truth of them, you can see how to deal with them. Doing this is practically an instant fix for fear, I have found, but it takes some practice to develop it into a habit, otherwise it can be really hard to do in tense situations. This is also called ‘being present to the moment’.

    So those are my three core techniques for developing courage. I’d like to see any other suggestions people have. Here is Jordan Peterson explaining courage in an interesting way: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpqXNgvfa4k

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