Lessons Learned From Chess

I wouldn’t say that I’m an avid Chess player or even a good one, but I do enjoy the occasional game.  As such, a few of the guys that I converse with on Twitter have created a Chess club of sorts where we challenge each other to battles of wits and tactics.  One particular game that I played against Hunter Drew at The Family Alpha stands out as one of my greatest victories, not necessarily because of any brilliant plays I made (I made quite a few blunders), but from the lessons I took away from that match.  These lessons translate nicely into the real world so I decided that today I would share them with you.

Check, Double-Check, Then Triple-Check

No pun intended, on this heading, but always be sure to check the variables before making a move, whether it be on the chessboard or in real life.  There were a couple instances where I thought I had Hunter dead to rights, but missed some small variable that wound up backfiring on my spectacularly.
chess 2
I was so close to having him boxed in here but failed to realize my e5 pawn wasn’t guarded when I moved it to e6.
One such instance was where I thought I had him checkmated in two turns with him having no recourse but to move his king to the edge of the cliff before I pushed him off.  What I had overlooked was the fact I left one of my checking pieces unguarded, which Hunter’s king was able to steal, foiling my plans and leaving me in a dangerous position.
The same translates over to real life situations.  Before taking any risky move, check, double-check, then triple-check your math and make sure everything lines up.

Don’t Place Your Enemy on Desperate Ground

The term “Desperate Ground” comes from Sun Tzu’s Art of War and refers to what amounts to sticking your opponent between a rock and a hard place.  If your opponent sees that their loss is imminent, they will fight with every ounce of strength at their disposal.
About halfway through our game, Hunter put me on Desperate Ground by marshaling his forces to flank my king.  I was literally two moves from being checkmated and had no way out for my king that wouldn’t involve sacrificing many of my key pieces.  Being in this desperate position where my loss was two mere clicks away, I knew I had to go on the offensive with everything I had.
A little desperation in real life is good as well.  It drives you to new levels of effort and achievement.  Some people within the manosphere have even purposely put themselves on Desperate Ground in order to put themselves in a position of either sinking or swimming.  One such example, Victor Pride if memory serves, quit his job and moved out of the country in order to pursue his own business.  Every day became a matter of survival – utilizing every resource available to him to ensure that he didn’t drown.

Use Gambits to Distract While Setting Up a Counteroffensive

Once I knew that my loss was seconds away, I knew that the only way I would have a chance of getting back in the match would be by keeping Hunter on the defensive, reacting to my moves without an opportunity to flipping the script.  Turn after turn, I put his own king in check, sacrificing whatever pieces I needed in order to extend my survival until I could turn the game around.  Finally, I had created an escape route for my king and could go on the offensive in earnest.
Using gambits in real life is not for the faint of heart.  They require a fair bit of nerve and the understanding that you could very well be digging yourself deeper into your hole.  If you are on Desperate Ground however, this point is moot as failure means your downfall anyways.

It Isn’t Over Until It’s Over

 At one point of the game, I was 9 points behind and in a bad position.  I was very tempted to just concede the match and admit my defeat, but I decided to move on.  I was way behind on pieces, a few moves from losing, and no obvious plan on how to get out.
chess 1
Outgunned and outflanked.  I was on Desperate Ground with seconds to live.
In the end, it came down to a slugfest where I was able to capitalize on a few blunders from Hunter and even up the game.  It came down to a battle of attrition and when I saw the opening I needed, I finally closed the match.
chess 3.png
The final nail in the coffin.  The game was a move away from turning to his favor.
The old saying “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s size of the fight in the dog” comes to mind.  Sometimes when finesse and wit can’t win you the day, you must resort to sheer tenacity and determination.
Sometimes things in life seem incredibly tough and there’s no way easy route to circumnavigate the obstacle.  When those times come to you and you can’t finesse your way out, knuckle down and fight your way through.  Many times things seem their hardest right before they relent and you break through and seize victory.

Conclusion

I’m a big believer in taking lessons from whatever activity you’re engaged in.  There’s always something to learn, some information to glean.  Be sure to take moments throughout your day to reflect on situations you encounter and see what small truths are hidden just below surface.

They say there’s a 1,000 lessons in defeat, but the same can be true in victory if one remains humble and open-minded.  Hunter taught me quite a few the other day.

Hunter, it’s always a pleasure to match wits against you.  Until next time, brother.

Author: Jak

Jak, married and father of three, seeks to help the Red-Pill Community take its next step past the petty cynicism and ineffectual anger. While he recognizes that men are significantly handicapped by the modern legal system and culture, he doesn’t accept that traditional marriage is untenable in today’s social climate.

Rather, men must be willing to adapt to this new world by implementing new tactics and approaches to maintaining a balance of power. Jak is here to provide you with these lessons.

  • jammyjaybird

    Trash talk. Always trash talk your opponent in chess. It makes up for a lack of skill.

    “You wanna do that? Are you *sure* you wanna do that?”
    “HAHAHAHAHAHA. Whatever, dude. You’re just rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.”
    “Booooooooring.”
    “You know what, just for the challenge, I’m going to turn this board around and play with your pieces and STILL beat the shit out of you.”

    Works like a charm, every time.

    • Jak

      Geee….I know someone that frequents our site that pulls this shit. Likes to set up traps and before he springs them, he’ll sit there and ask me “Do you see it? Do you see it? It’s coming.”
      I’m breaking out in a cold sweat now just thinking about my inevitable demise while he taunts away.

  • Iattacku
    • bem

      but did he play CHESS?!?!?!?!!?!?

      • Kronstein did and he wound up getting the boot.

        • bem

          Great room – they should have played on the floor!

          • oddly enough the room next door was for twister and the whole board was played on top of a table.

          • bem

            The ‘Perfection’ championships were in Mexico this year.
            give it a minute…

          • I got nothing and I know I am gonna hate myself for it.

          • bem

            that wasn’t a minute!!!!!!

          • bem
          • wow! that just jolted my memory!

          • bem

            perfect.

  • bem
  • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

    I played Chess for about a year. Great fun. Stopped last July though (2016). Such a pity.

    I really don’t have anything to contribute to this article, except noting that taking lessons from victory as well as defeat is a proper way to approach life.

    • bem

      “I really don’t have anything to contribute to this article,”
      Whoa – is that a requirement?!?!?!

      • Jak

        You get an exception.

        • bem

          because I am EXCEPTIONAL.

          • Jak

            Whoa there, let’s not go overboard.

      • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

        I like to try to make my first comment relevant to the topic at hand. After that, there are no guarantees and no promises.

        • bem

          I try to circle back, after making the most shallow and stupid quips first.

  • Consolation_of_Philosophy

    Everyone, jump the Queen!

    • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

      It’s good to be King!

      • cheeseburgercheeseburger

        at least for a while

        • bem

          dont lose your head!

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger

            mine was a tom petty song reference

          • If he is so good why is he dead….checkmate (boom, relevance)

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ
          • UWOTM8

            I’m not gonna lie, changing your pic to Rick definitely causes your comments to be read in a tone more similar to Bem….

    • Lou Skunt
  • cheeseburgercheeseburger

    well an ex-Goldman banker is the new NJ govenor. The Repub’s ran ads where he stated he wanted to make NJ a sanctuary state and he would raise taxes on everything…and they ran it a bunch…and he still won.
    I cant play chess so this article triggers me

    • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

      New Jersey going for a nasty socialist is about as surprising as a fish swimming in water. The north east is a lost cause.

      • cheeseburgercheeseburger

        this is a state where one- ONE- billionaire pissed off to FLA and it experienced a slight budget deficit bc of the tax revenue lost due to his relocation…

      • bem

        We just elected a Soros-backed, anti-cop, BLM front-man to DA……
        You might be right.

    • Jak
      • cheeseburgercheeseburger

        Im a hungry hungry hippos! man myself

        • Jak

          I was always more into Trouble and Sorry. Looking back, the irony of those being my two favorite games is palpable since I was always a “do now and ask for forgiveness later” kind of kid.

        • bem

          I was state champ in that event in ’88.

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger

            that trophy musta been yuuuge

      • dckhead_con_artist
        • Jak

          Oh those NAUGHTY Teletubbies…

    • bem

      There is no cant – it just means you suk at it.

      • B1k3_Ch41N

        That works on more than one level.

      • cheeseburgercheeseburger

        My uncle started to teach me when I was a teen, then he got sick and passed away…

        • bem

          So….you won then?

        • so it was murder

        • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

          Dang dude, you play for freaking win!

          “Knight to rook seven? Perhaps, but first, a bit of lidocaine powder in his drink….”

        • Mrs. Teasdale:
          As chairwoman of the reception committee, I extend the good wishes of every
          man, woman and child of Freedonia.

          Rufus T Firefly:
          Never mind that stuff, take a card. [Fans out a deck of playing cards]

          Mrs. Teasdale:
          [Picks one from the fan] Card? What do I do with the card?

          Firefly: You can
          keep it. I got fifty one left! Now, what were you saying?

          Mrs. Teasdale:
          As chairwoman of the reception committee, I welcome you with open arms.

          Firefly: Is that
          so? How late do you stay open?

          Mrs. Teasdale:
          I’ve sponsored your appointment because I feel you are the most able statesman
          in all Freedonia.

          Firefly: Well, that
          covers a lot of ground. Say, you cover a lot of ground yourself. You’d better
          beat it; I hear they’re gonna tear you down and put up an office building where
          you’re standing. You can leave in a taxi. If you can’t get a taxi, you can
          leave in a huff. If that’s too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. You
          know, you haven’t stopped talking since I came here. You must have been vaccinated
          with a phonograph needle.

          Firefly: Not that I
          care, but where is your husband?

          Mrs. Teasdale:
          Why, he’s dead.

          Firefly: I’ll bet
          he’s just using that as an excuse.

          Mrs. Teasdale:
          I was with him to the very end.

          Firefly: Hmmph. No
          wonder he passed away.

          Mrs. Teasdale:
          I held him in my arms and kissed him.

          Firefly: Oh, I see.
          Then, it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the
          second question first.

          Mrs. Teasdale:
          He left me his entire fortune.

          Firefly: Is that
          so? Can’t you see what I’m trying to tell you? I love you! [jumps into her
          arms]

          Mrs. Teasdale:
          Oh, your Excellency!

          Firefly: You’re not
          so bad yourself.

          • bem

            Poetry.

          • “I’ll bet he is just using it as an excuse” is pretty much the best response to anyone saying that someone they love has died.

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger

            Is it? he was the only person in the fam who even played.

      • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

        There is no cant

        Thieves and Cockney’s disagree.

    • Murdoc34

      Who the hell hears ‘California of the east coast’ and thinks it’s a good idea?

        • Murdoc34
          • great tune. Haven’t listened to any Waits in a long time. Gonna pot some up on spotify today.

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger

            so did springsteen cover this or vice versa?

          • Murdoc34

            springsteen=cover

      • cheeseburgercheeseburger

        at least Cali has great weather.

        • bem

          and fukkin erf-quakes….

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger

            thats why lex luthor bought up all that soon to be beachfront property in nevada…he was too soon though, still sitting on that investment

          • Lex Luthor was too abstract a thinking. Gus Gorman knew what was up.

        • B1k3_Ch41N

          And earthquakes.

        • Cali is the only other state in the union that I would consider living in pre retirement.

  • dckhead_con_artist

    you can get pretty good at chess by playing the AI online at various levels and during international flights they now offer chess as one of the games on BA, Delta, and Emirates

    • I like playing people…I tell them Reti or not, here I come!

      • dckhead_con_artist

        you can start over against the AI at anytime if you feel your moves were a mistake, that is the only reason I play the computer.

        • bem

          but throwing cheese at a computer is way less fun.

          • dckhead_con_artist

            or calling it names, the fucker never gets sideways with you

        • cheeseburgercheeseburger

          you should put your battles with AI on Twitch. it will get zero views

          • A guy I know told me about twitch. People log on to watch other people play video games. No offense if this is anyone’s hobby out there but really, this is not good.

          • Jak

            On a lark, I’ll watch a playthrough of a video game because the storyline looks interesting. Just to get online to watch someone do something like play multiplayer? Nah.

          • I am not a video game guy, but if a storyline looks interesting why not just play the game? I mean video games are active entertainment compared to a movie or television show, but only by a small margin. Just watching other people play video games seems totally insane to me.

          • Jak

            1) That would involve me wasting money.
            2) That would involve me wasting time. I plug in earphones and do work around the house while watching/listening.
            3) Some of the people who do these playthroughs are fucking hilarious.

          • I guess if it is replacing music or something while you are getting stuff done then sure, whatever. It’s on me here, I just can’t fathom it.

          • Jak

            “I guess if it is replacing music or something while you are getting stuff done”
            Essentially.

          • B1k3_Ch41N

            Stockholm syndrome? Perhaps it’s from the time they never got the joystick to play Mario as a kid and watching someone somehow triggers some sort of nostalgia.

          • There was ALWAYS the kid who didn’t get to play!

          • B1k3_Ch41N

            Not me mate, when the previous player was done I was like a friggin tiger to reach that joystick.

          • I remember being at a kids house who had a video console. I forget which one but it had a big round knob you moved left and right. We were playing pong. The two of us played like 20 games while his brother sat behind us and watched and then we both went out and played stick ball after. That brother probably watches games on twitch now.

          • bem

            That might be the saddest story in the world.

          • Call Gordon Lightfoot, he might be relevant again

          • Murdoc34

            […] a video console. I forget which one but it had a big round knob you moved left and right. We were playing pong.

            Taking a wild guess here but maybe it was Pong?

            http://www.computinghistory.org.uk/userdata/images/large/PRODPIC-4007.jpg

          • No these controllers had bigger knobs and were attached by wires. The game was pong. Then again, I might just be remembering wrong.

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger

            colecovision or activision.

          • bem

            Intelevision?

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger

            yea, could be…prolly one or the other

          • I remember intelevision because it had the greatest game. It was a Mario Brother’s knock off game for poor kids called Sewer Sam

          • Could be or might be the one you said. Too long ago for me to remember

          • Jak

            I had to stifle a snicker on that one.

          • dckhead_con_artist

            North Korean nuclear Launch code right there

          • bem

            I attribute my Near Failure (and contingent denial of HS diploma) of Computer Class in 12th grade to that phenomenon.
            Just aint enough to go around, and I was too busy clockin’ bitches and spittin’ material to fight some dork for access to the amber screen…

          • Iattacku

            It’s depends for me . If it’s a game that I don’t plan on buying but have somebody interest in the story I will watch a walkthrough

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger

            no offense? its batshit crazy. some peeps make good $$$ on that platform thoughj

          • I get the side of the people who are making bank on it. PT Barnum taught his lessons well and I paid attention but yeah just seems nuts from the passive angle to me.

          • UnreconstructedConfederate

            How do they make money on it?

          • Same way everyone makes money: having idiots hand it to them

          • UnreconstructedConfederate

            So far I haven’t been able to get them to give it up.

          • lookin’ in the wrong pockets i suspect.

            People are reaching in their wallets and handing other people money for useless shit all day every day….I haven’t figured out how to get them to give it to me either, but it ain’t impossible.

          • UnreconstructedConfederate

            With all the ways people are making a killing on the ole interwebs sometimes makes me wish I was puter guy.

          • bem

            Same here – as a kid in the eighties every grown-up in the world was shoving them in my face imploring me to “learn about computers – they’re the future”
            Yeah I showed them, eschewing their efforts for a fukkin lead pencil….

          • not so fast el guappo

          • Murdoc34

            lead pencil

            Here’s the real problem. You should have been using graphite.

          • I’m with ya there brother. My hope is that with a whole generation of people who are ‘puter guys that the market will be saturated and they will find it harder to make money driving computers but with far fewer no ‘puter guys the value will increase exponentially

          • bem

            I like the sound of that.

          • I am 100% sure it will happen. What I don’t know is whether old farts like us will be young enough to capitalize on it when it does. There is a whole generation out there whose primary way of interacting with the world is through a computer….there will be a glut in the market. It is not different than academia. There was a time when having a 4 year college degree meant something — a certain status and a certain income.

            Because of this everyone sent their idiot kids to college and because colleges are businesses that like money they made them selves more stoopeder so these morons could get a degree.

            Now having a 4 year degree basically means you can drink a ton of booze without blowing up your liver if you are a guy and you suck good dick and can handle anal if you are a girl.

            I would imagine that in 20 years knowing how to expertly use photoshop will be the equivalent of writing “frequent masturbator” on a resume and being able to use a plunger you will be able to charge 150 dollars an hour to unmuck a toilet

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger
          • UnreconstructedConfederate

            What will they think of next?

          • UnreconstructedConfederate

            I actually like playing video games, I don’t because I can’t get landline internet in the sticks, that being said I can’t off the top of my head think of anything more boring than watching somebody else play except watching the grass grow, paint dry etc.

          • See I get playing them to a degree (not the level of crazy obsession I see) as I played Skyrim when my knee was all bad and I had nothing to do but be on my back. It was fun. Not really my cup of tea when I am able to do other stuff, but I can’t deny it was lots of fun (the oxicodone prob helped). But yeah, watching someone else….ffs

          • iBooB

            Video games now are so cinematic it’s like watching a movie

        • This joke is going to take a level of chess knowledge that is going to ensure that very few people find it funny.

  • Murdoc34

    My father was fond of saying ‘The better you are at chess, the better you’ll be at everything in life.’

    I was fond of arguing with him about this.

    • who won?

      • Murdoc34

        Usually the owner of the nearest bar or liquor store.

    • michaelmobius1

      Everything? Fisher was good at antisemitism. Kasparov less so. Horses for courses

  • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

    Chess seems so outdated to me. It’s 2017, if you want strategy games that challenge you across a wide array of variables, try games like Squad Leader, Cross of Iron, etc. They incorporate not only strategic moves a la chess, but also random variables that may or may not work (dice rolls on artillery strikes, satchel charges, friendly fire, air strikes, critical tank failures or strikes, etc) so you have to have backup strategies baked into every move or you’re a goner. Game pieces range from the individual soldier unit all the way up the squad level, on boards that can (but don’t have to necessarily) cover an entire kitchen floor. In all honesty chess to me seems like a great strategic game that would have found a vast audience in 1536, but today, eh, I think every move that can be made has been made, documented, analyzed and otherwise examined ad nauseum, leaving skilled players basically exercising already known strategies and moves/counter moves, which is interesting in and of itself to a certain extent, but leaves me a bit wanting which I think is why I never pursued it much after I’d played it a while (a short while). But get me into a three day long, 8+ hour a day game of Squad Leader where I’m trying to take over a Russian tractor works factory while pitted against two other human players, each utilizing potentially hundreds of pieces, and I’m in like Flynn.

    Which reminds me, I really need to get these games out and dust them off again.

    All that being said, the takeaway lesson of the article is very relevant regardless of the topic being discussed.

    There, I made a post that pertains to the content of the article. Happy now? heh

    • bem

      whats with the new face.

      • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

        I’m getting all swifty.

        • B1k3_Ch41N

          To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Rick’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick & Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick’s existential catchphrase “Wubba Lubba Dub Dub,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon’s genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂

          And yes, by the way, i DO have a Rick & Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            It is by far my favorite cartoon right now. I was big into Archer, but am waiting for the next season, so I’ve taken it upon myself to watch and re-watch both seasons (well, at least on Hulu, maybe there’s three in real life) many times. As you note, the jokes can be pretty damned deep. It take a special kind of person to truly appreciate all the show has to offer

          • B1k3_Ch41N

            That was only a joke going around the internet. LOL

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            Heh. That’s funny!

            It does have a lot of arcane references though. I like shows like that. The wubba dub dub, Arsenio does that right?

          • B1k3_Ch41N

            That’s the nerdy dude from Fresh Price right?

          • Marius Aetius Lucullus

            that was Carlton

          • iBooB
          • Iattacku

            Go jump out a window please. Lol

          • B1k3_Ch41N

            Lol triggered ya sonny

          • Iattacku

            I see it too much on rick and Morty videos

          • B1k3_Ch41N

            Yep, it’s a circle jerk among R&M fans turned piss take.

          • John Galt

            I discovered R&M this summer and it’s a hoot. Actually on a business trip now and watched them and Archer on Netflix last night.

            “..they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own”

            Get used too loneliness. I will give you the benefit of the doubt that you have a high IQ, but nothing wrong with banging a normie.

          • Jim Johnson

            The thing that bugs me about “intelligent” women is they think they are, even though they are not. I got into a huge argument on some other article about this. Most women are within the 90-110 range, where guys have a larger standard variation. A woman getting a doctorate in sociology in schools that already cater to women does not impress me. All it does is create a false sense of pride in them.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            Translations as I’ve come to understand them:

            Intelligent – Degree in a liberal arts program that required almost no real coursework and revolved heavily around stating opinions, expressing feelings and learning to sneer politically correct opinions at others that she cribbed directly from her professors.

            Free spirit – Unchained to notions of right and wrong insofar as she doesn’t care who she hurts or how she hurts people in life, as long as she can have “fun”. Does *not* usually mean, however, that she’s willing to try actual new things that others are afraid to try, she sticks strictly to boozing it up, dancing until 2:30 am with “girlfriends” (aka other “free spirits”) and neglecting her family/children through her 40’s.

            Career oriented – drives away men by the truck load with her constant addiction to checking her work email at home and planning office events. Probably spends 1/2 of her “at the office” time banging random business travelers in hotels.

            Fluent in Sarcasm – bitch

            Strong, opinionated – See “Fluent in Sarcasm”

            Challenging – See “Strong, opinionated woman”

            Tired of games – has spent her entire adult life engaging in drama, and is signaling that this isn’t about to change now. Tired of games literally means “bring your best drama with you”.

            Partner in crime – looking for somebody as irresponsible as she is, however, he has to have a job to pay for her $70-$100 booze tab every night.

            Looking for more than sex – has had thirty men prior to you that used and abused her body in the most explicit ways and now she’s ready to find the nice little simpering weakling to raise their kids and absorb her angst at being a cum dumpster while getting no sexual favors in return.

            Funny – To herself and girlfriends, where funny = sits around telling stories of “what she said, it was so fuuuunny!” or “I can’t believe she said that, it’s so fuuuuunnny!” Does not involve actual recognizable forms of humor.

            Loves sports! – 90% of the time, she’s learning just enough words, catch phrases and player names to justify intruding into your male space with your friends and ruining basically every game you watch.

            Care free – irresponsible

            Kids will always come first – you will always come last

            I love traveling! – I’ve read Eat, Love, Pray a few times and have taken a weekend trip to another nation where I posed inappropriately taking selfies in front of somber locations such as Auschwitz.

            My dogs/cats are my children! – Emotionally stunted and incapable of forming healthy human relationships, run.

            I like to laugh and have fun – because apparently this is unique to me, as others hate laughter and fun

            Spiritual but not religious – Into New Age and Astrology bullshit, has an app that tests your “sign” and her “sign” for compatibility that she’ll insist on using at some point. Vapid, shallow and generally what you’d consider an actual “fool”.

            “Conservatives need not apply” – Spends her free time at the local DNC headquarters in her city, will preach to you day and night about abortion, and can enjoy *nothing* if it doesn’t have some political context

            Foodie – Fat, or about to be fat shortly.

          • bem
          • Jim Johnson

            I dig chicks with pigtails.

          • bem
          • Jim Johnson

            nah, they don’t have to be that young. Pigtails make good hand holds.

          • bem

            hahaha – I knew a guy that added ‘antlers’ onto his build-sheet of a perfect woman, just after flat head (to rest beer). Same reason.

          • Jim Johnson

            Yup, and may I add a few more suggestions:

            No teeth, can’t have those pesky things scraping my Johnson.

            Has to be 3’6″ tall, can’t have her uncomfortable down there.

            She has to have worms, they are good for fishin’.

            Never heard of a girl with antlers. Do they come that way in Australia or something?

          • bem

            wow. I’m just gonna go now.

          • Marius Aetius Lucullus

            bloody hell Bem, im not a bloody Aussie but, the floozies there dont have antlers, dont believe everthing “Th’ Duke” says… ya bum.

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger

            you just threw your political career out the window. screenshot taken and saved, used as future black mail chip

          • Jim Johnson

            Never wanted one anyway.

          • Jak

            Women that can be legitimately and consistently funny are 1 in a million. I don’t remember the last time a female comedian has elicited anything more than a slight smirk from me.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            Oh, no doubt. I’m speaking only insofar as personal ads on websites are concerned. “Funny” always seems to revolve around being either bitchy and laughing loudly with other girls, or doing the “I can’t believe she said that, it’s so fuuuuuunnny!” about basically nothing.

          • Jim Johnson

            In all fairness, consistently funny women are crass and not attractive. Women do not need to be funny.

          • Jak

            Agreed.

          • John Galt

            John Belushi was right. Women are not funny.

          • Jim Johnson

            Dude, that should be an article. Well done

            With that,

            Outdoorsy means going as far as necessary to get the selfie to post 50 times.

            Traditional means wants the house and picket fence, along with all the perks that feminists get.

            Curvy means land whale.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            Thanks man.

            Traditional – what you said, almost always with a photo showing her dressed basically like a slut.

            Don’t know about outdoorsy, I just generally assumed it mean that she wasn’t really into hygiene.

            Curvy, yeah, anything besides “skinny/svelte/athletic” means “fat” these days.

          • Jim Johnson

            That is true about the hygiene.

            Guess I need to study up more on the OK Cupid lingo.

          • John Galt

            Damn, I know that discription you speak. Due to family and distance, I have opened a FB account per their request and have posted 2 things, one pic and chatted a little per ICQ. This happened about a month ago and have only family and a couple of old friends in my loop, however I keep getting friend requests from my younger sisters acquintances— women I have never met. They match your post perfectly.

          • UWOTM8

            Yeah, I’m stealing that shit.
            How do you know the intricate details of every girl’s tinder account ever?
            Rant/10.

          • John Galt

            I concur.

          • B1k3_Ch41N

            John my man the whole 150 iq points is just a silly circle jerk by R&M fans. I just copy and pasted that into Disqus!

        • Jim Johnson

          I still picture you as Clark Gable.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            There’s a “your mom” joke in here, which I am far too polite to use. Heh

          • dckhead_con_artist

            My son used that on me the other day…I was like “Your Grandma?!!”

          • bem

            dckhead_jr. is MY KIND of kid.

          • dckhead_con_artist

            I called Child Protective Services last week after we wrestled and I lost . They hung up.

          • bem

            YOU did?!?!

          • dckhead_con_artist

            I was pissed. He caught me in a bad attempt at a wizzar, freed his arm and threw in a leg with a half nelson.

          • bem

            Were you asking them to come take him away?

          • reminds me of the time i tried to hire an au pair. The agency asked me how old the child was. I said 40.

          • dckhead_con_artist

            I asked for adult diapers before an outdoor AC/DC concert years ago. There was no way I was using the porta potties that were supplied.

          • must have been hard to get as the band was probably hoarding them

          • bem

            That’s OK, I tried to get @Jim Johnson:disqus to adopt me….

          • dckhead_con_artist

            I’ve considered scamming Gay Sugar Daddies but I haven’t thoroughly investigated how to pull that off yet.

          • bem

            I’d be VERY VERY careful there…

          • Pulling it off will be the whole game me thinks

          • Jim Johnson

            Not unless you are a 18 YO Latvian blonde, I thought we established this.

          • bem

            just sayin….

          • Jim Johnson

            I would consider putting up with you for an evening if you are ever traveling through. We have a comfy couch and I’ll have the wife whip up a roast or something.

          • bem

            If I ever make it ‘out west’ you can count on it! ‘twould be an honor.

    • dckhead_con_artist
    • Vault Boy

      ” I think every move that can be made has been made, documented, analyzed and otherwise examined ad nauseum, leaving skilled players basically exercising already known strategies and moves/counter moves,”

      I don’t think this is true. I’m a chess fan who follows top level tournaments and I see players trying new things every now and then. You wouldn’t believe the amount of creativity computers show during their games.

      • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

        If every single move hasn’t been documented it’s not through lack of effort. The game is rife with a billion strategies named after some dude from the 16th through 21st century.

        Just not my cup of tea.

        • Vault Boy

          That’s irrelevant. No human can remember all of those moves and there are countless ways to deviate and create novel positions. Every game I see, even from the top players, is different each time. If what you’re saying is true, there is no reason why chess should be a professional sport.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            Again, not my cup of tea. Starcraft is also a professional “sport” (in South Korea).

          • dckhead_con_artist
          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            I’m not really sure how to react to that…

          • Jak

            Careful now….choose your next words about StarCraft very carefully.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            I like Starcraft. I think that making it a national sport is kind of silly though, but I’m not Asian so maybe there’s something culturally subtle that I’m missing here.

          • Jak

            They just like to show off their 400+ APM skills.

          • iBooB

            Ass Per Minute?

          • Jak

            Close.

          • Monsieur de Charette

            Is StarCraft that thing that failed to become Dawn of War ?

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            It’s a video game. Quite fun in its own way actually. Nothing to make a national sport out of though.

          • Vault Boy

            It is not your cup of tea. I get that. But calling chess outdated is silly. There are a lot of things you can learn from the game and apply in real life. The same rarely true in regards to video games.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            I don’t advocate video games as proper vehicles for learning life lessons.

            I consider chess in the same category as Bridge and Gin Rummy. Fine and decent games in their own right, but eh, kinda old school.

            I can learn the same life lessons in far more complex strategy games, that I can in chess, without having to bore myself to tears.

          • Vault Boy

            Would you kindly share the names of those other complex games?

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            I’ve already made the post above, the root of this particular thread actually. It’s not an exhaustive list, and I was looking for board type analogs (similar idea about tactics, strategies and such).

          • Vault Boy

            What’s with the new face GoJ? That’s quite the downgrade from Sean Connery.

          • bem

            I’ll always see the old Dos Equis guy

          • (((Dos Equis Guy)))

          • Jak

            (((D)))o(((s))) E(((q)))u(((i)))s (((G)))u(((y)))

          • (((Jonathan Goldsmith)))

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            I’m about to combine the DNA of Abraham Lincoln and Adolf Hitler in order to come up with a morally neutral great leader. I shall call him Abradolf Lincler.

            And you just can’t do that, without being Rick.

          • bem

            get photoshoppin’. This NEEDS to happen.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            It did happen on the show actually.

            As he was about to attack an alien creature he yelled “Prepare to be emancipated from your inferior genes!”

          • dckhead_con_artist

            will this change your mind GOJ ?

    • Iattacku

      Wubbba dub dub

    • Beartastico

      I disagree with your opine concerning chess. You are promoting D and D and the degenerate lifestyles that permeates.

      • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

        Squad Leader is not even close to D&D. Outside of dice, there are literally no similarities.

    • Lol

      Do us a favor and try not to “think”.

  • Jim Johnson

    Chess is decent, but since the advent of the computer, all a chess expert shows me is they need to socialize more.

  • Jim Johnson

    As far as games, every Sunday evening we have a family game night. Wife will make some treat and we will do dominoes, UNO, Sorry, or card games like Old Maid or Steal Pile. Maybe some day I will teach my wife and kids Poker.

    • dckhead_con_artist

      Where’s Hungry Hungry Hippo ?? huh huh . get it ?

      • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

        Usually on most major leftist college campuses, last check.

        • dckhead_con_artist

          I was serious about meeting him at Lavo nightclub…I’d probably bring down his SMV with the degenerates that hang out with me

          • Let me know when you get to NYC….Lavo can be fun.

          • dckhead_con_artist

            you’re New Yorker as well?

          • AutomaticSlim

            Degenerate….

            You rang?

  • Boothe

    To me the most important takeaway from this win is never give up when there is still a chance to prevail. All too often we are within inches of the win and let a negative outlook drive us to throw in the towel. I have read various accounts where people quit right before sealing a deal or hitting a major vein of gold. Then some one came along after them and cashed in on all of the quitter’s work. The older I get the more I realize how important that final effort is to success, no matter how overwhelming the odds may seem. If you already have a lot of time and effort invested in the game or project, what’s giving it your all one final time really going to cost? But quitting will cost you everything.

  • Inspector Callahan

    Off-topic:
    Whatever happened to Hypponax/lolknee?

    • He’s like a caterpillar. Metamorphosing e’r other week

    • bem

      I heard they died with KERSEY in some bizarre murder/suicide!

      • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

        AIDS is hardly suicide, dude. You get that shit on purpose, from Haitians and Ukrainians.

        • UnreconstructedConfederate

          And Africans.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            Well yeah, that goes without saying. We get the word “Africa” from the Roman word for “AIDS”.

          • Inspector Callahan

            While I don’t take offence in your comment, some red-pilled men do marry outside their race…”god forbid”, even to Ukrainians,Haitian or even Africans. Kersey was far from being the only one…
            If I got cursed out (or “kersey-ed out”) for being married to a West African woman, I think I would just leave this site. …

          • bem

            More fun to just curse back. After all, two wrongs make a right.

          • Inspector Callahan

            “two wrongs make a right.”…I almost disagreed, then I realized that statement came from bem…

          • bem

            not just me!

          • Inspector Callahan

            Never saw a single episode of the Simpsons. Did I miss out on something?

          • Jim Johnson

            Seasons 2-4 are good, then they started to go downhill along with the rest of TV.

          • bem

            right. They were good till about the mid 90s.

          • Jim Johnson

            I was fortunate to throw away the TV before it really went to crap. I have fond memories of that.

          • Inspector Callahan

            Agreed. Televion in general went crap around the mid-90s.

          • bem

            “Movie-Viewing Apparatus” nothing more.

          • Jim Johnson

            We have that, My kids insist on watching Studio-C. Ugggh

          • I claim that there is enough gems in each season to make it worth watching though there hasn’t been a good season since the 90’s

          • UnreconstructedConfederate

            You missed something every week lol

          • UnreconstructedConfederate

            I rather enjoyed cursing back at him, he would get mad so easy.

          • Jim Johnson

            The reason we all ganged up on him was his attitude. He was calling most everyone a racist if they deviated any from the SJW narrative.

          • Inspector Callahan

            I guess that explains it.

          • Marius Aetius Lucullus

            Jim, it must be quite funny for an outsider looking in to see him trawling the internet looking for ol’ Knee, then when he finds him he does a “hit & run” slandering him & all who agree with him then deleting all traces of his comments & history, most people would be left thinking… WTF just happened???

          • UnreconstructedConfederate

            If I recall correctly, what set him off was someone making a comment about getting random hookups in Africa was like asking to catch aids. He went off about it because ” not everyone in Africa has aids”, it only went downhill from there.

          • bem

            ” not everyone in Africa has aids”

            A claim which has NEVER been proven, by the way….

          • UnreconstructedConfederate

            Racist.

          • Inspector Callahan

            bem…

          • bem

            I have a penchant for the zany and absurd. Some find it delightful.

          • I’m starting to wonder about you…..

          • Inspector Callahan

            Aren’t you a White dude from rural Mississippi? Can we start off with the jokes about inbreeding?

          • bem

            ALWAYS.

          • Cousins make dozens

          • Go ahead. Make my day. But you won’t make me mad. The vigilante avatars lead me further towards my supposition

          • Inspector Callahan

            “Thats a seven point suppository, captain.”

          • It’s okay. Let the hate flow through you.

          • Inspector Callahan

            Lighten up, hillbilly boy.

          • How’s England these days, what?

            EDIT: I never did write the Queen

          • Inspector Callahan

            What’s that got to do with the price of bread..?

          • Aren’t you from Avalon?

          • Inspector Callahan

            Nope

          • Hmmmm

          • @disqus_dWaDZMVWoH:disqus is just a keyboard warrior. I think he should put up or shut up. I’ll post my T Cell count if he will post his.

          • Inspector Callahan

            Says the keyboard warrior himself…

          • Let’s see then. Come on bruh. Put down you antiretrovirals and lets see your t cells. Put up or shut up. I want to know your count. I will show you mine. Either bring your tcell count out or sit down.

          • Inspector Callahan

            Apparently my comment on Mississippi hit a nerve…

          • BRUH BRUH BRUH…T Cells or GTFO

          • Inspector Callahan

            wtf is your obsession with t-cells? Someone is really insecure.

          • bem

            bro do you even lymphocyte?

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            Legit lol.

          • Hey bud

          • Inspector Callahan

            Obsession with another man’s level is a trait of a closet homosexual. You have to take your buggering somewhere else. Nobody is interested here.

          • Dude, dude…look, before you start speaking for an entire group of people I want to know DO YOU HAVE AIDS. Your evasiveness makes me think you do. I grew up in the 80’s and one thing we learned is that any kind of interaction with anyone who has aids means you can get aids. So I am not even sure that typing this comment to you won’t totally tank my immune system. So, if you are going to continue to comment I want you to take and post the results of a home aids kid….asap….or you are just a fucking chicken…..a chicken with AIDS

          • Kerseys Aids

            Yo, yo, yo, my T-Cell count be strong like a mothafucka!!!

          • Murdoc34

            That Kerseys Aids would develop sentience and literacy and a slightly better sense of humor than Kersey himself was entirely predictable.

          • Dude just can’t take a joke

          • The sentience I buy, but the sense of humor is dubious.

          • Murdoc34

            I did say it was only a slightly better sense of humor.

          • This is rich

          • Right, because yuppies from NYC and a Southern gentleman with impeccable fashion have so much in common….

            Waitaminute

          • bem

            I went to Meridian once.

          • Air Force?

          • bem

            Indeed visiting a relative who was living on that base. Guess that really is all that is there.

          • I’ve actually only driven through there a couple of times personally, but I knew someone based there. I live WAY down south.

          • bem

            any further you’d need to learn Spanish!

          • French. Close to Louisiana line. My father in law is Cajun

          • bem

            was referring to exaggerated proximity to south America, but yes I get it.

          • 10-4. Didn;t mean to come across as dense, although I AM from MS……

          • bem

            never!

          • Murdoc34

            With Uncle Meridian and all the little Meridians?

          • bem

            Dominus vobiscum, Nabisco….

          • Jak

            Aww shucks…. I DO have impeccable fashion, don’t I?

          • No comment

          • Marius Aetius Lucullus

            Spin City yes, Back To the Future 2 no

          • bem

            who doesn’t like a good Sack-Off?

          • bem

            Judging by the handwriting I’d say he splits his time between London and somewhere in the US. And quite likely has Polish ancestry.

          • How many British pollacks does it take to contract aids?

          • bem
          • Inspector Callahan

            Dude, stop for a minute and take a look at yourself. You are blaming a random commenter for your failed and useless life. It is not my fault that you live in a trailer park in Appalachia and struggling with homosexual tendencies.
            If someone talk about Africa and you think it is funny to say they all have aids. Yet, if someone makes similarly inappropriate jokes about your neck of woods, you put out a childish tantrum.
            Double-standards much? Now run along, that a good boy. I am done with you, sonny.

          • Why don;t you just admit who you are?? Hmmmmm??

          • Do you have aids? Yes or no.

          • I was right. You have aids.

          • AutomaticSlim

            A nice plate of “fagotini” would go good with that AIDS.
            Too bad they shut down “Fagiolinis”…
            Kersey would have liked it there.

          • And hillbillies are from Appalachia. I’m a redneck

          • Inspector Callahan

            I stand corrected. WTF is the difference, btw?

          • Glad to be of service. Where do you hail from, fellow traveler?

          • I’m actually not much of a redneck

          • bem

            thought you were a cracker?

          • Totally white bread

          • bem

            isnt that a prerequisite?

          • make my day! classic. Well done JJ

          • Marius Aetius Lucullus

            but this time Dirty Harry didn’t say it?

          • AutomaticSlim

            I don’t it’s Mr. Kersey.
            Haven’t seen a backtick yet.
            Or maybe he simply learned to suppress his tell…

          • bem

            I had a back tic once….fukker dug in real good!

          • I am still dubious about the claim that Africa exists.

          • Monsieur de Charette

            Oh it exists. With its rocks, its dumb people and its goats shitting undigested plastic bags.

          • Here is the odd question I have about the dark continent. So every year here in America various sports have championship games. At the end of these games there is a winner and that winner instantly starts wearing stuff like hats and t shirt that announce that they are the champion: baseball, football, hockey, basketball…right there on the field they break out the championship swag.

            This lead me to once ask the question: Since it is obvious that both teams optimistically have these hats and shirts and shit made prior to the game what happens to the stuff that says the losing team is the champion?

            I had this question answered in a sufficient way. The losing team will donate all that stuff to poor people in africa which makes a lot more sense than just burning it or something.

            This makes me wonder if there are loads of Africans who have totally backwards ideas about american sports…people who think that the Yankees had a terrible run back in the late 90’s and who get here totally excited to see the miracle team that is the Buffalo Bills.

            I have since concluded that if there is an Africa, and again I am dubious, that it is opposite land.

          • John Galt

            Landfills need filled I always thought, but now that you mention it I sometimes see a refugee type wearing American sports shirts.

            (Sure man. You been to Kansas City and were always a Chiefs fan.)

          • Right, refugees wearing the sports shirts is how my buddy pegged this phenomenon which makes perfect sense as if they were just throwing that shit away some new jerk would make a federal case of it sooner or later. It must be awfully confusing over there.

          • See what you stirred up asking about Kersey? He can’t resist coming out if prodded. Makes you wonder if he gets some kinda masochistic pleasure out of it

          • Monsieur de Charette

            Where is he ?

          • Inspector Callahan

          • Murdoc34

            Never mind that this whole thread was started by Kersey asking about Hippos whereabouts.

          • It’s like he can;t help himself. Probably whacking off at all the comments

          • bem

            Nah, you’re thinking of Roosh…

          • AutomaticSlim

            Hahaha!!!

          • John Galt

            I doubt anyone cares on this site, but if a poster wants to make an issue and it becomes a reoccurring theme for him, it will become a target for riddicule.

          • Jak

            Yep, this should be common knowledge that even children should know. Laugh it off. Hell, agree and amplify.
            But if you show that it’s a sore point….brother, you’ve just let the foxes into the henhouse.

          • One thing you can say about Mr. Kersey was that he was a man of many talents…well at least a man of two talents assuming that we can consider “having aids” a talent

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d88d224fd423b3663f72b323a1117ac5dc1ec51a995da9d16cf22788a09f5f0c.jpg

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            Or, alternately, give shit right back and laugh about it. He had a singular deficit of humor.

          • Inspector Callahan

            Not being cocky or anything …but just what the hell happened to your avatar?

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            I made it all swifty.

      • Monsieur de Charette

        I need a short briefing on that Kersey running joke.

        • bem

          Back in the twilight of the ROK days, a chap calling himself “Kersey” came on the scene, championing Haiti and African women. At the mention of Haiti, AIDS cracks naturally abounded. His stunning lack of a sense of humor caused it all to multiply exponentially until he left in disgust, after calling out GOJ as lolknee in disguise and a fervent racist.

          He briefly appeared here, politely offering to tell jak and jnyx how to run their growing site, and then disappeared again after being identified, called out, and mocked mercilessly.

          Methinks we’ve not yet heard the last of him. Which is fine.

          • Jim Johnson

            Agreed, as much conflict as he brings around, he is a source of fun.

          • mocking him was just plain wrong. I mean the guy does have a horrible, incurable disease which is tanking his immune system

          • Jim Johnson

            No doubt, his phobia of talking about race in a frank manner is horrible.
            Or, were you talking about the Aids he got in the Ukraine?

          • I am not sure, i think he had super aids which is what happens when you have Ukrainian aids and your wife has African aids and then you have sex

          • Monsieur de Charette

            Can’t believe I missed that.

          • B1k3_Ch41N

            Search the articles published earlier this autumn and you might find the last time he was on AKC. I believe that was the funniest of Kersey appearances!

          • John Galt

            The AIDS jokes lingered for weeks and seeped into every thread. LOL.

          • It was like there was a total deficiency of immunity from the aids jokes. Speaking of which, I hope everyone celebrated Magic Johnson Announces He Has HIV Day yesterday

          • John Galt

            I thought he sleeping on a pile of money cured him?

          • bem

            I read that as sleeping on a pile of Money-Cured Ham……
            which is just marvelous….

          • John Galt

            Money rolled up in bacon! Money is nice, but everything is better with bacon.

          • Lou Skunt

            Live from Los Angeles…

      • Kersey died of the stab wounds…Hippo died of the aids

        • Marius Aetius Lucullus

          jeez Knee, keep that on the DL

      • UnreconstructedConfederate

        Gay.

    • Jak

      He’s evolved into his final form and is actually commenting further down in the comments section.

    • Monsieur de Charette

      He now lives in a monastery in the south of France under the name of Frère Jacquet.

      • Frère Jacquard
        He is working his loom

        • Monsieur de Charette

          Such play of words should be rewarded with tar and feathering.

    • John Galt

      That guy!? He was last seen in some dive bar in NYC snorting blow off a hookers ass.

      • Jim Johnson

        I heard he started up a gym for young men south of Detroit.

        • John Galt

          I heard he only sleeps one hour a night and makes soap as a hobby.

          • Jak

            I heard he moved out to a log cabin in the woods, got married, and is expecting his first kid.

          • bem

            I heard he was struck down and became more powerful than you could ever imagine.

          • UWOTM8

            I heard he was the one who did the striking…

          • Inspector Callahan

            Wasn’t lolknee a NYC “gentrifier”?

          • bem

            more an NYC Germaphobe.

          • Marius Aetius Lucullus

            with a love of Laphroaig & a general distaste of the great outdoors??

          • John Galt

            NYC defiler of female underwear models is more like it.

          • Jim Johnson

            Lolknee? I would see pigs fly first.

          • John Galt

            I ask as John Galt, but “who is Lolknee?”

        • Inspector Callahan

          Jeez, that was funny as hell…

    • UnreconstructedConfederate

      As grandpa Confederate would have said,” he went to shit and then the hogs ate him “.

      • Inspector Callahan

        Lol…you had a hellova grandpa.

    • B1k3_Ch41N

      Some say he married his Romanian witch doctor and now roams the streets of Bucharest for wallets to steal and seagulls to fight over bits of sandwiches. He since spawned 7 children which he sends out to steal metal to scrap for money and picks them up in his old Dacia when the police chases them out of the city centre.

      • bem

        EXACT same thing happened to my cousin Flaco.

        • Inspector Callahan

          Are you a descendant of this man?
          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J%C3%B3zef_Bem

          • bem

            I AM that man.

          • Inspector Callahan

            And an Italian-American from Philly in your second life?

          • bem

            Remember that’s only sorta true.
            What IS funny however is that my wife’s family is from the same place as this bem dood.

          • Your wife is from wikipedia?

          • bem

            Well you know how women think they have all the answers…..Might as well be.

          • Sounds like you have the making for a reboot of Weird Science….time for some casting…I will need an old sofa and Harvey Weinstein.

          • Inspector Callahan

            Poland?

          • bem

            Specifically Galicia!

          • Inspector Callahan

            Isn’t Galicia in northwestern Spain?

          • bem

            That’s GalAcia. I think….

          • The real question is what, if anything, this has to do with the lessons learned from chess?

          • bem

            Well don’t chess sets have both a black and a white team? For arguments sake we can call them Africa and Ukraine, just as a visual AID.

          • You’re pushing those buttons

          • @disqus_tj7gjZttfg:disqus has always been a master baiter

          • Explains the poor eye sight and hairy palms

          • well this is just it. I am, as our resident frog and the author of the article here, a big fan of queen sacrifices…..and if the black queen has aids all the better.

          • John Galt

            Thread winner!

      • Inspector Callahan

        Lol…Lolknee was really going on about his Romanian ex…

    • Monsieur de Charette

      I’m sorry. Didn’t know you have aids.

    • Kerseys Aids

      There you are! Ya know, you’re a hard man to track down, but I’m on to you Inspector.

  • Monsieur de Charette

    Don’t play chess against nihilistic twats.

    • Jim Johnson

      I would suppose it would be difficult to play against someone who thinks it is pointless and that all rules can be rejected.

      I suppose if you are referring to lolknee, you could make an exception.

      • Monsieur de Charette

        While he beats you up and you’re banging your skull against walls trying to find a way out, the nihilistic twat in question is casually looking at articles on women fashion between each move.

        • Iattacku

          Have you actually played him in chess

          • Played is one way to put it…..lost gracefully would be a better

          • Iattacku

            So you doing a fitness site now kneeman/hipponax/wb fitness

          • I am hoping to launch my fitness site next week. I am really slow on computer stuff and even with wordpress themes it is taking me longer than I had hoped, but I am having fun doing it and hope I can help people and enjoy the process. I have a few people who I have worked with and have found really good results and once I have everything fully fleshed out I will link to it and be happy to talk to anyone who is looking to get into shape for the first time, who is at a plateau and wants to see if they can break through or is working around an injury or anything else. Stay tuned.

          • Sounds good. I;m really enjoying BUFF but I’m always open to tweak things.

          • I’ve read buff and honestly believe that it is ok, but that better results can be achieved in less time with less possibility of injury. Plus, I design my programs to the individual. People who have worked with me on this site spend a lot of time talking to me and get very customized workouts and I am in touch with them on Telegram to constantly watch progress and modify as need be. That said, anyone who is happy with what they are doing and their results should always keep to it but is free to join in an open forum to discuss.

          • I’ll check it out for sure. I can only manage about an hour a day, 3-4 days a week so it can be a challenge to get everything in, plus my knee has been wonky for about 4 months, but I look forward to seeing what you put out.

          • Thanks man.

          • Iattacku

            Gonna spread rape throughout the world I see

          • Repetitive Activity Performed Energetically

          • Sure is

          • Iattacku

            But anyway congrats man. It’s good that you found something. You enjoy doing while helping others.

          • Iattacku

            Is that you in your profile picture

          • Yes sir

          • John Galt

            And every keyboard warrior who mocked or challenged you suddenly crawled back under the woodwork.

            Well done sir.

          • Hey I figure if I’m gonna do a fitness blog and services it’s put up or shut up right?

            If everything goes on schedule I should have some cool announcements to make coming up.

            Thanks for the support man.

          • John Galt

            No worries. I am looking forward to your blog. Right now work has me on the road and my time is tight (colleague quit so I am covering 2 director desks), but you and some of the AKC guys really pointed the way how to improve.

          • Time is the one thing I can’t help build…I will say though that when you start seeing drastic results you find all sorts of time lol.

          • Jak

            You know how many times I’ve told him he needs to post a pic when the keyboard warriors accused him of being some fat neck beard? I was begging him to put up one, just one pic.

          • I used to get a kick out of one guy, don’t remember who it was but he was totally triggered when I said I spend 4 hours a day in the gym. I’m a liar, a neck beard, live with my mom…

            It’s amazing: I tell people that if they prioritize working out, lift a lot of weight and eat a shit ton of food they will grow muscle. I get two responses….either a) awesome sign me up or b) you are a liar

          • Iattacku

            Damn you’re huge you going for the captain America look

          • I’m a pretty big dude. I can handle generic superhero.

          • Lou Skunt

            Good luck with the site! Tons of guys out there are in need of solid, no-nonsense advice.

          • And that is what Wife Beater Fitness intends to bring to the table

          • Lou Skunt

            That’s beautiful – I love it!

          • Yeah, what’s the point of getting in shape if you can’t pull off a beater on the streets

          • Lou Skunt

            That’s Fuckin’ right!

          • Jak

            I though it stood for Would Bang

          • A play on words but team wife beater in effect. Even working on swag

          • Jak

            Speaking of, I need to pm you on a workout routine later.

          • You know how to find me. I also want a testimonial for the new site if possible. Your results were freaking amazing!

          • Jak

            I’ve let myself slide a bit. Nothing a couple months of you whipping my ass won’t fix.
            And I’ll most definitely provide a testimonial for your site.

          • I do it too. Some sliding is actually good. If you push non stop all the time year round you wind up burning out or worse, injuring yourself. You will respond quick and it will kick your ass. Your early posts on this site show a super fast transformation

          • Lou Skunt

            A “Cheat Meal” here and there is healthy – both physically and mentally. Look at it as your reward for all the work you’re putting in.

          • I agree. My chest meals however, after years of this, are now either carb reload days which aren’t technically cheats or sometimes just eating more of what I normally eat. Instead of a 14 ounce steak with a fried egg and a half avocado for dinner I’ll have a 17 ounce with 2 fried eggs and a whole avocado. I’ve got to the point where my cravings are just more of the same.

            That said, the intensity of my program from Jan 15-Aug 15 of next year is such that I am leaving the weights to the side a bit, working on cardio and abs, just generally healing and eating whatever because when Go time comes it is going to be insane this time

          • Lou Skunt

            Exact same here… still the same high-quality Whole Foods everyday, with the exception of some extra carbs/protein/fat.

            That’s one of the greatest benefits of establishing a firm grasp on nutrition… you develop a very thorough understanding of how your body responds to certain foods and you adjust accordingly.

          • It’s true. I do it blindfolded now. One thing that’s funny when I am in hard core training is that I’ll cube up some pork tenderloin and just pan sear it and bake it off. If I get hungry in the night I’ll eat some little pork nuggets.

            I’ve had people say I was nuts…mid nihhh snack 6 ounces of pork nuggets. But what should I eat? All this is is protein and a little fat.

          • Lou Skunt

            It all becomes second nature – we’re absolutely on the same page here!

            People will make the dumbest fucking comments about the lifestyle too… I’ve heard it all over the years, but I can’t imagine living any other way. Having a clear mind and a strong body – all that power is always on tap to help you achieve!

          • Jak

            You’re either confusing me with J Nyx or confusing AKC with TGC. Heh.

          • Confusing with TGC

          • Jak

            I can at least claim 1 victory…my 1 lonely victory. Haha.

    • nihilism does wonders for the chess game but you and jak were both worthy contenders

      • Iattacku

        Why were you looking up women’s fashion during a chess match

        • I believe that would fall under the category of hyperbole

          • Iattacku

            But that sounds like something you would actually do

  • michaelmobius1

    I would preferred an article on Candy Crush