The Easy Way to Quit Smoking

Despite being a fitness fanatic and eating well, I had been a smoker for over 12 years.  Like all smokers I wanted to quit but kept puffing away.  It killed my gains at the gym, wasted my money and health, and would eventually kill me.  After trying and failing many times a friend referred me to Alan Carrs Easy Way to Quit Smoking.  Its been about 4 months now and I’ve kicked it.  I’ll review how/why this book is so amazing and how it changed my life.


There was a time when the thought of quitting smoking was something I wouldn’t even entertain.  I got hooked as a teen and had been smoking ever since.  I actually thought I enjoyed it but as anyone who is or was a smoker knows, after a point you know its bad for you.  You know its going to kill you, but you don’t give a fuck and keep buying pack after pack.

At my worst I was smoking a little over a half a pack a day so roughly 15+ cigarettes.  It was when I worked as a brick layer and was outside all the time.  Even once I left manual labor behind I kept smoking.  There were even certain roads that I would get onto in my car that my instant reaction was to light up.  It was fucking sad how much I felt like I needed these things that stink up your clothes, age you to look like the crypt keeper, and eventually kill you.

I personally wanted to quit, but knowing  how horrible I’d feel if I took my life way too early from smoking and the pain it would cause my kids was enough to make me consider this book.

The Book

I won’t give away for free what Allen Carr’s book tells you but I can give you my point of view on it.  This book looks at smoking from a different perspective.  It doesn’t try to shame you with images of cancerous lungs and it doesn’t tell you to go see your doctor that will give you drugs that make you feel worse than a smoker.  It looks at it from the point of view of nicotine addiction and more importantly why  people smoke.   Honestly,  it made me just lose interest all together in smoking.  I don’t feel like I’m missing anything and it was, in fact, easy.   Allen claims that only around 5% of people who use his method fail.


I’ve noticed some changes that have affected me since I quit.  All of which are pretty good (except one, more on that later) and these are just a few that I can remember:


  • Much easier to breath and sense of smell heightened.
  • Easier to exercise
  • Skin is less dry and has better color
  • Feel like I can focus easier and get things done
  • Clothes/car doesn’t smell of smoke anymore
  • Saving money
  • Metabolism seems to be working better

All of these are great but the best feeling was quitting for good.  It felt like I finally conquered the one thing I didn’t seem to have control of in my life.  A stupid decision that I made as a stupid kid.  Its all behind me now and I couldn’t be happier.


The only bad thing I had happen was that it took a few days for my digestive system to catch up with the lack of nicotine.  I had gas and the shits for 2 days, but it wasn’t that bad.    No nausea or pain or even any withdraw symptoms.


I wouldn’t just give Allen Carr a free plug on the site but I have to share how much this book changed my life.  Things are much better for me having quit and I feel like a whole new guy.  If you want to quit, I can’t recommend this book enough.  Even if you know someone who is a stubborn asshole about quitting, just tell them “look if it doesn’t work, you’re no different than you are now”  and buy it for them.

-J. Nyx




Author: Jnyx

Fitness addict, DIY guru, tech nerd, member of Memesters Local 419.

429 thoughts on “The Easy Way to Quit Smoking”

    1. Different story, brother. Don’t go comparing a Cuban to a cigarette! It is one of those rare experiences that exceedes sky-high expectations, every time.

              1. Cant believe you dont know that place- not for hipsters, its probably over 100 years old

                1. Nothing even remotely hipster about that place. Now that smith and wolensky and the palm and sparks are basically on par with the fucking sizzler quality wise, of the old school steak houses pretty much only the homestead and keans remain. There are a lot of newer good ones, but in manhattan those are the last two oldies i think.

                1. never seen one with a pipe. seen em handroll their own smokes on the st, one guy used a cigarette holder a la pepe la pew or the pink panther where I used to work- hilarious

              1. All these pipe pics remind me of the fact I havent been to Keane’s Steakhouse in a few years now- tons of pipes adorn the walls of that jernt(from famous folks too, like Teddy Roosevelt). If you like muttons chops(gross) that is the spot for em

        1. I went through a phase where I tried all the best wine I could save up for, the best whiskey, and the best cigars. I was trying to develop a cultured, gentlemanly palate.

          As it turns out, I could never develop a good “nose” for wine. Some of the subtleties that may be there for other guys… well, I never figured out how to detect or appreciate them. But whiskey and cigars were a different story. I really get lost in the experience of savoring the good stuff. It’s magic.

          1. yeah, I think the wine biz is largely a scam, I gave up on dry reds, I like sweet white wine like riesling or even prosecco…

            1. Trouble with wine is it doesn’t satisfy. Hand me a bottle of beer on an average day, I’ll drink the one bottle and be good. If I open a bottle of wine, I drink the whole damn bottle, looking for a satisfaction that never comes, even when I reach the end.

            2. My mom got me buying prosecco. Some cooking show lady she likes drinks it— now the family is hooked.

                1. Lol, I don’t know. I can never keep those gals straight. Except Rachel Ray. I had a crush on her years ago. Nothing warms my heart like the thought of post-sex leftovers on the back of the stove.

        2. Not for everyone, as a big fan of whiskey though, smoking a cigar every now and then fits just right like OJ and his gloves…oh wait

  1. I still smoke 2 a day at work. sometimes I bring some home on the weekends. I cant take a powder for 8 minutes to chew bubblegum. or kick some ass.

                1. I wonder why no one has marketed low fructose corn syrup. I bet the rubes would pay a fortune assuming it is probably a safe middle ground… applebees fat but not walmart fat

                    1. I’m already thinking about how to word the pitch in the business plan PowerPoint presentation…

                    1. that cant be good….
                      I vaguely recollect certain dipshits snapping the filters off to ‘get more light-headed’ or some such…

                    2. the only time i recall snapping filters off cigarettes was when I would create fuse delays for block busters.

                      Step one snap off filter.
                      Step two light cigarette.
                      Step three insert blockbuster fuse into unlit end of cigarette
                      Step four: duct tape blackbuster to stop sign
                      Step five walk away casually until you are a few blocks down
                      Step six boom
                      Step seven go retrieve stop sign from street

                    3. The only people in the world who beat teenage kids with fireworks in terms of know it all pseudoscientists are drug people. Ever sit around and have a discussion with a hard core drug user (regardless of drugs) they all speak like they are giving a nobel prize speech in engineering. Pot is 100% the worst drug a person can use but the rest of them, with regard to turning people into scientists, are just as bad.

                    4. I would usually agree, but growing up in a city with 400,000 legal Chinese (so like 80 billion total) there was always inexpensive, well made fireworks ready at hand.

                    5. My dad was the fire chief growing up, and a fan of pyrotechnics. One of my fonder childhood memories was making rockets or bombs and blowing them up at a quarry with him.

                    6. That sounds like loads of fun and the echos must have made the explosions sound awesome. I had a buddy whose dad was a plumber and would give us plumber smoke bombs (they used them in pipes to find cracks). Those things were fun as hell.

                    7. I guess he figured we would be safer if he played along. He used to be a miner when I was really little and had this leftover dynamite fuse. Went as far as making a pipe bomb with smokeless powder. Lots of fun.

                    8. My take-always were paranoia, lethargy, dry eyes, and over-eating. Not quite the groupie-rich party lifestyle I had pictured.

                    9. Well, if this was Family Feud, the survey would say “3”. Crystal Meth would be “84”

                    10. Yes, and this goes right to my point CB. If you meet a regular meth head and tell him “hey i have never tried meth im gonna give it a shot” i bet he says “don’t do it man, its not worth it” Same with coke, cigarettes, heroin, crack, heavy alcoholism pretty much anything someone is addicted to they will warn you not to even get started.

                      Then meet someone who is a pot head and tell them you have never tried pot. Their brain is so fucking warped that they will actually try to convince you NOT that it is perfectly fine but that it is actually fucking HEALTHY that you are foolish for not smoking pot that you aren’t just missing out on a good time, but that you are missing out on opening up your mental capacity and even that it is good for you physically.

                      Not even a lifetime of heroin abuse makes a person that fucking stupid

                    11. Funny story about that, when I quit smoking tobacco, I had a friend who smoked pot. In front of his parents, I bet him $50 that I could go longer without smoking than he could go without getting stoned. I won the bet.

                    12. Pot was by far the greatest generator of industrial engineers. I’ve seen pipes made from things ranging from an apple to a 73 Ventura and everything in between. I’ve seen entire wood-shop curricula cancelled due to unrelenting bong manufacturing. I learned more about hydraulics from building bongs out of soda bottles than any science class.

                    13. Block busters? Those a type of firework that is now banned? Down here we called them M-80s, not to be confused with the sorry excuse they call M-80s nowadays.

                    14. Blockbuster was the top of the chain. It was physically at least twice the size and held at least twice the powder of the M-80 which in turn was bigger than the cherry bomb.

                    15. I lost my shit on Pabst because of the sheer quantity of videos he would post, over and over again, that were not related to the topic of discussion in any sane way. One or two random video drops is one thing. But he would post video after video after video, until Disqus would start freezing up. He would have 10 or 20 YouTube links in the same thread, and they would just get increasingly random and off topic. He would even reply to his own video links with more video links, and post the exact same video 2 or 3 times. He was just a fucking sperg and his sperg brain would start misfiring and next thing you know, there’s 15 links to random shit on YouTube.

                    16. I can see that. I feel like if you could have just taken the good part of him and exercised the bad you might have had a decent dude. He lived (he said he moved a while ago) right near me. I feel a lot of his sperging had to do with a bad beat with a woman. ….i have no proof of this just seemed that way to me. I offered on several occasions to get him out and go to the park or just do something to break him out of his misery…i think he was one of those people who has been miserable for so long that they get addicted to it.

                    17. There were times when he made great comments. In fact, most of the time when he would actually type out a comment (instead of posting a random video), his comments were good. His obsession with Asian people was a little weird, but whatever. And I remember you offering to take him out and show him the good life — hell, I remember offering to donate money for a few nights out if someone set up a GoFundMe. But he sperg-asms took a turn for the worst and he went down the drain.

                    18. I was one of those lucky kids that had a town dump nearby to go during off hours and break stuff. Lots of glass jars to shoot or piecemeal bicycles together.

  2. smoking cigs, crack, snorting drugs, doing pot, injecting heroin all lead to…… The Stairway to Heaven

            1. Those shows were when canned laughter was over the top on TV. I remember having this eerie feeling at the lack thereof. Everyone on the show was stone cold serious while I was about to pee my pants from laughing so hard.

            2. Kentucky Fried Movie, Airplane, Top Secret, Naked Gun, Hot Shots, Mafia!

              These guys are the people behind pretty much everything that has informed my sense of humor.

                    1. There is some stuff that i watch that I loved back then and im just like WTF but certain things…..this is why I am afraid to re-watch the old Sledge Hammer episodes. I think I just want to go on thinking they were funny. Or do you remember the show They Came From Outter Space where two twin brother aliens, a ladies man and a dork, who feel each other’s sensations drive around southern California in a 59 soft top vette lying to their parents and saying they are at Cambridge University while they pick up chicks and evade the US Air force….I am sorry, I refuse to go back and watch that show..I need to remember it as being totally awesome

                    2. Yep…so much dreck I thought was gold back then, music, TV, movies, I can’t go near anymore, but the Good Stuff is still good.
                      One example is American Graffiti. when I was a kid that was the Cat’s Tits. Would watch it EVERY time it was on, whatever hour. Now? I’m trying to figure out how to remove all the actors, ‘story’, and dialogue so that it’s just old music and old cars.

                    3. If they even THINK about doing that shit, I will burn Hollywood to the ground. Literally (hitler).

                    4. FFS, I googled and there really is a reboot. The main character is described as “a 30-year-old Indian-American woman from Cleveland whose talents include tequila drinking, karaoke and not much else.” So she is a typical SJW diverse post-wall carousel chick from fucking Cleveland. What a disaster. Who the fuck do they think will want to watch that shit?

                    5. the part i don’t understand is this:
                      Why in fucks sake reboot the show. If you want to make a superhero show fine, if you want to make a woman super hero show, fine. If you want to make an indian-american super hero show (is this indian american as hoohoo or wooowoooo indians) fine. And if this was a really popular show I get the whole rewriting of history. But why reboot an incredibly obscure show that wasn’t particularly popular in the first place when it came out 30 years ago?

                    6. Because they are out of ideas. Because they have no creativity at all. Because all they want to do is find shows with white guys and replace them with old post-wall minority cock-whore gender queers, and they are running out of white guy shows that people have heard of, so they have to dig out ones that almost no one has ever heard of. Because they are fucking evil cocksuckers.

                1. From the very opening of that movie when the newcaster says “the popcorn you are eating has been pissed in news at 11” it is non stop. The only movie that is on par with KFM in my opinion is AIrplane but they are all great.

                  1. That black guy with the rotating beacon for a hat saying “eep eep eep” still gets me every time I think about it.

                    1. if you and i (and bem) were to coordinate watching that movie on a sunday night we would be absolutely insufferable (instead of mostly insufferable) come monday

    1. Driving to work, I saw an advert that a Led Zep cover band will be playing in the area. Might check them out.

  3. I quit smoking nearly two decades ago, and still have the urge from time to time if I am in a particularly stressful situation or I smell a sweet pipe tobacco.

  4. Quitting smoking is such a huge thing man! way to go. It is a serious achievement and one that I believe, when you look back years from now, you will consider one of the best things you ever did in your life.

        1. You’ve been pitching this pretty hard, man….
          If it’s anything less than the Best Thing in the World Ever, you’re going to get ripped apart by this lot.

          1. Totally not going to be the best thing in the world ever. It will absolutely be the best thing i could do which should make it like 40 billionth over all. (subtle simpsons reference there)

          1. The sad thing is he could probably sell a ton of merchandise by just putting it out there and posting the occasional fitness article with him lifting something heavy.
            The fitness industry has it so damn easy…

          1. and Roosh’s also, or is his more a ghost ban type of thing?
            one minute you can post, the next… the hammer has fallen.

  5. Good for you Jynx for quitting smoking. There are absolutely no health benefits to smoking.

    All my dad’s brothers died in their 60’s from smoking. My mom’s father died at 59 from smoking. My wife’s grandfathers died in their 60’s from smoking. I’ve met countless other people over the years with Emphysema, COPD, etc. – this is no way to live. There is nothing cool or glamorous about rotten teeth, a smokers cough or carting around an oxygen bottle.

    1. Maybe it is because I have never experienced any kind of chemical addiction, but I never understood how it was hard to quit smoking. Fine, there was actually a time when there was a cover up about negative health impact and even commercials that said stuff like menthol cigarettes cure smokers cough bla bla bla but that was my grandparents generation. Once you know full well just how fucking suicidal cigarette smoking is how do you not stop?

      I mean, not doing something has to be the easiest fucking thing in the world. My grandfather quit smoking in the 60’s. My sister once asked him how he quit and he said “i stopped going to the store and buying them.” I mean in order to smoke you have to go into a store, buy cigarettes, unwrap a package, take out a cigarette, put the cigarette in your mouth, light the cigarette and smoke the cigarette. In order to not smoke a cigarette you need to do all of nothing. That’s it, just do nothing.

      I have the same theory about over eating and other things….why is it so hard to NOT do something???

      1. During my time in the gutter, post marriage separation and snorting cocaine in the titty bar bathrooms , I got almost hooked on the stuff to the point where I would wake up at 3 am every night sweating profusely . I decided one night to throw on the soccer warm up pants and adidas USA jersey and ran 5 miles without stopping until exhaustion . I had to literally drink 1 gallon of water when I got back home and I never touched “white” again until last year when I dated a “reformed” titty dancer . However now if I do it it’s for fun and foreplay only

      2. Agree 100%. I’m of the same opinion… it takes an enormous amount of effort to actually do these things. For all that effort, I would expect a much better end result.

  6. For those of you trying to quit smoking, more power too you. Try everything you can. But for gods sake do not vape….not only is that also bad for you but admitting to your parents that you are a faggot is such an awkward thing

            1. trains are more packed than ever. most should take a toke right before hopping onto the subway TBH

      1. I have a feeling that my story will officially end in this life when i am walking down a street and see someone with google glasses and an apple watch vaping and i just have to murder him and then accept a life in prison.

        1. “…and then accept a life in prison.”

          Pffft. You didn’t learn how to get rid of bodies? You should have spent more time with your uncles.

  7. Great article Jnyx, I’ve been smoking for nearly 10 years, I’ve tried to quit a few times but I unfortunately get withdrawals symptoms such as mood swings, insomnia and general irritability. It probably doesn’t help that I drink as well( nothing sweeter than a double whiskey on the rocks with a cig)

    Can you elaborate on the steps you took to quit smoking ?

    1. Find a good friend that is trying to quit and make a bet that you can go longer without smoking than he can.

    2. Psquare get the book if you can. In his book he even says “keep smoking until you’ve read the whole thing” he goes through why we choose to smoke, not scare tactics and bullshit. All smokers know its bad for them, what this book does is shows you how you don’t need that cig in the first place. There is nothing you’re missing. I’ll give one example

      He says “Non smokers dont have that feeling of needing to smoke, because the cigarette causes the withdraw. Imagine a heroin addict. To them, after shooting up, they get high but then immediate freak out trying to buy more. To us, we go on just fine without the need to go buy heroin”

      I highly recommend you read it. Its not so much willpower but realizing you dont need the cigs in the first place.

    1. “My wife and I decided to quit smoking. We said we would only smoke after sex. I haven’t had a cigarette in months which is great, but she is up to there packs a day”

        1. One of the greatest.

          “I walked in on my wife having sex with the milkman she said “don’t tell the butcher.” And my daughter, she is no bargain, she has been picked up so many times she is growing handles. Oh don’t get me started on my sex life, its like shooting pool with a rope”

          1. That sequence….its like being shot with a machine gun… don’t even have time to breath. a True Master.
            My friend from the old days’ brother in law had the same knack. NON-STOP commentary like that….sometimes I’d have to not go out with them because my stomach still hurt from the day before…

            1. I left out like 3/4 of that sequence. He did it on the carson show (leaving out the pool with a rope whcih is my favorite but it was a more innocent time on tv)

                1. These kids aint tough…now my high school – THEY were tough! After they sacked the quarterback, they went after his family, I’ll tell ya….

                  1. ha. There is a clip i will dig up of Rodney doing this to dean martin and Martin looks like he is going to double over. There is no pretense and no faking, this isn’t acting he legit is losing his shit.

            2. one of the best lines ever is when he talks about a girl he met at the macys thanksgiving day parade “she was wearing ropes”

              This is one of the funniest things packed in the middle of like 20 other lines. IT is actually weaponized humor

              1. Exactly. While all solid as stand-alone one-liners, his nervous, rapid-fire, almost embarrassed delivery is what made it magic.

  8. The best way to quit smoking is to stop holding a stick full of cancer three inches from your face, setting it on fire, and then sucking it into your lungs.

    Don’t be a pussy, just stop doing it.

    1. YES!

      Said this below, but without the pith and brevity. Well done Thales. How fucking hard is it to NOT do something.

      Side note, I am trying to quit bashing my testicles with a ball peen hammer. I am down to only doing it 10 times a day. FOH

      1. I think it comes down to a long term mindset. Nobody says, “I think I am going to take up smoking”. It is just something high schoolers do to be in the “in” crowd or to get with a certain girl. If she smokes, she pokes….coincidence?

        1. if she smokes she pokes is she true. However, I have learned the other side of that coin is “if she doesn’t smoke she still pokes only she smells a lot better and doesn’t leave you sitting alone in a restaurant while she stands outside and poisons herself mid dinner.

          1. A girl that smokes is a high probability of a pump-and-dump sooner rather than later. Not sure why, or what the through line is, but we all know it.

            1. The type of girl who is more up for a pump and dump is the same type that will smoke. They care little about long term consequences.

      2. wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll that’s not a perfectly fair analogy, is it? Unless of course you ENJOY the hammer-action.
        Personal discipline and mental clarity are not constant among people. Some people really do struggle to give up things that ‘feel good’ regardless of the time, effort, and money involved in indulging them. Call it laziness, weakness, bitch-ness whatever, people are stuck fighting it to different degrees.

        1. I deny the fact that anyone enjoys sucking cancer which makes them stink like shit, unable to catch their breath, shortens their life span and makes the life they do have more difficult and with much less quality….I see people outside with a cancer stick in their mouth asking other people for fucking fire like a caveman….they are huddling outside buildings in the rain and the cold inhaling smoke into their lungs. No sir bem “enjoyment” of this absurd hobby is an excuse.

          1. Well I never smoked cigarettes. Like any good hooligan I gave it a shot but it never took. I’m approaching this disorder as an outsider. Perhaps I’m mistaken, but I’m equating it to a more widespread and familiar vice – shit diet. You can tell me a million times how bad that bagel is, and I’ll still want to reach for it, because it tastes fukkin good. It takes an effort to deny the instant gratification. Smoking MUST be kinda the same, even though I cant imagine it.

            1. I’ve seen it bem…”hey man do you have fire:” there is no way this can be enjoyable.

              As for shooting your cigarettes and while we are on old humor
              “I don’t drink anymore. I freeze it and eat it like a popsicle. Joey Lewis always told me you are not drunk if you can lay on the floor without holding on. Joey came over to my house and we were in my den — swimming —- and he mixed a very peculiar drink. I looked down at him and said what are ya drinking Joe. And he looked down at me and said scotch and carrot juice. I’m tight but I can see real good. But really, I feel bad for you guys who don’t drink because when you get up in the morning that’s as good as you are gonna feel alllllllll day. Now Frank and I just flew in. We didn’t even take an airplane, we just flew right in. I have some special requests, but im gonna sing anyhow”


              1. That reminds me of a good one –
                Somehow my father made the acquaintance of a Texan. A real character, total stereotype, filthy rich, loud, etc. This dood collected WW2 planes FOR FUN. Had his own airstrip.
                So once he hears from across the room someone say they don’t like beer, so he roars:
                “you don’t like beer?!?! how the hell you supposed to throw up in the morning?!?!?”

          2. That’s the exact way I feel about it. I see people out there in the freezing cold or sweating heat, sticking an open flame right next to their face so they can literally (hitler) breathe in ash to poison their brains and make them get a cheap, short high. They all smell like nasty ass, they walk around with little Pigpen clouds of ass-fog around them, reeking of old nicotine. Their faces all get dried out and etched with deep lines from holding fire an inch away from their skin every single day. They are always talking about smoking, how much cigarettes cost, who has a lighter, when they are going to go smoke, etc. It’s like, shut the fuck up, and get a hobby that doesn’t involve setting your fucking lungs on fire 7 times a day.

              1. Anyone who actually enjoys being a smoker, anyone who actually enjoys the smoker lifestyle, must have such a miserable, empty, shitty life that slowly self-administering cancer by burning a sizable chunk of their paycheck right in front of their own faces, and breathing in the noxious fumes, while huddled around a group of other losers in some designated place of smoker exile out in the wilderness, is somehow better by comparison.

                    1. In New York no. Truth is truth. Down near you I believe there is something you guys call “being polite” that we call “bullshit” that leads to comments like “Well bless your heart” or “aren’t you special”

                    2. I really want to argue this point and defend the beautiful, cold-hearted shiv of “bless your heart” but it just is what it is.

                    1. Occasionally an 80s hair band can get away with it when they are doing the post-apocalyptic video for their pseudo-political power ballad.

                    2. Funny thing is i have no idea where the hell they came from. They are in a drawer and when I see them I always say I should just toss them just never do.

                    3. Sometimes I think about my grandmother. She has lived in the same house for 70+ years now. I imagine she has no freaking clue where most of the stuff came from.

                    4. My parents are like that, they are in the phase where they are getting rid of stuff……OT: would you have any need for a suitcase phone or a sliderule?

                    5. At one time, my dad taught me how to use it for trig, multiplication and division. That is a lost art.

                    6. I tell you, since having kids, I have used an abacus more than you could imagine. Many hours spent teaching them how to count, add and subtract.

                    7. I am good on all my suitcase phone and slide rule needs, but I would bet that someone out there, especially people who do movie sets, would pay good money for stuff like that. I knew a guy who was a PhD in math who collected slide rules and paid a premium for certain of them. Before discarding I would do some looking into how much money you can get for them

                    8. … in a turkish bathouse?

                      IIRC the one Barack Obama and Rahm Emanuel both frequented in Chiciago was called “Man’s Country.” Gay.

                    9. You know, I would love a REAL turkish bath house. Like the one you picture connery in with some middle eastern spy where they are beaten with tree branches, given deep tissue massages and sit in pools and steam…..but I am always afraid to go to one because I think it will be all pipe smokers. If anyone knows of any real deal turkish bath houses let me know

                    10. Never been, but in the past I have spent time in saunas with girlfriends. Most of it was when I and the Finnish girl were visiting her family back home. Not a fan of it to be honest, but her naked bod had a way of inticing me to sweat it out.

                    11. I imagine a naked Finnish girl is an easy way to talk people into things: I am surprised car dealerships don’t use this tactic.

                      I am a big fan of the steam room and sit in it every morning and evening at the gym for a little bit, but the full non-gay bathhouse experience always seemed cool to me.

                    12. Brian: I went to brown
                      Chris: Brown is the color of poo

                      (since this episode aired in 2005 I have not met a single person who has mentioned Brown University for any reason whatsoever without following it up with “Brown is the color of Poo”)

                    13. Not I, always looks nappy to me. I understand black hair would be tough to manage, but we all got things we have to do.

                    14. When in Ireland, I was surprised at the number of blacks there. Mostly first generation immigrants from central Africa.

                    15. Ugh. Scratch another traveling location from my bucket list

                      I wanted to go to England to see English things and Ireland for Irish things, not Londinistan or Dubliger

                    16. They weren’t too bad, not obnoxious like the Muslims. That was about 15 years ago. Things could have changed since.

                    17. one of the great lines from the marx brothers is from Monkey business right in the beginning and it is a joke that in 20 years there will be no one left who understands

                      First Mate: Captain there are four stowaways somewhere in the holding compartment
                      Capetian: Stowaways! How do you know there are four of them
                      First Mate: They’re singing Sweet Adeline

                1. I really like cigarettes on the 1 or 2 occasions in a year when I am piss-drunk. I tell friends to take my keys away if they see me with a cigarette. I have no idea what that is. Something in the lizard brain, maybe?

                  1. I was like that, smoked on the weekends, not during the work week. There was a couple years however that it was every day.

              1. To be fair, no one looks happy doing most things. Do you look happy at work? At the grocery store? Eating food? Show me someone who looks happy doing grocery shopping and fighting traffic and I’ll show you a loony.

                1. From the super underrated movie which touches on red pill topics Play It Again, Sam (can’t think of anyone but @disqus_tj7gjZttfg:disqus who might have seen this one but i might get surprised)

                  What reason did she give for wanting a divorce?

                  She wants a laugh; she doesn’t laugh enough. Insufficient laughter;
                  that’s grounds for divorce. Oh, and skiing! She wants to go skiing. She
                  wants to ski down a mountain laughing like an idiot.

                    1. the word jock always makes me laugh. When I was young (like under 10 young) my cousin and i had matching yellow t shirts that said “JOCK” on them….there is this picture of us in our stupid high tube socks with stripes and short running shorts with white boarder and these yellow shirts that just read the word jock. Every time i see that photo i wonder how it is possible that we weren’t abducted by child molester or the catholic church (threw the last bit in for @bem)

                    2. It always kind of makes me laugh too. It makes me think of that old LL Cool J song “I’m Bad” because it had a line in it about all the girls on his jock. I was so white, I could never figure out what the hell that meant until a black guy explained it to me.

                    3. A priest from the local parochial school decides to take the fourth graders deep sea fishing for a class trip. There’s an open slot on the charter boat and a lawyer takes it. They’re 30 miles out when a squall hits and the boat starts taking on water. The captain announces that the boat is going down and there aren’t enough life jackets for the adults and the kids. The priest looks at the lawyer and asks “What should we do about the children?” The lawyer says “Screw those kids!” The priest asks “Do you think we have time?”

                    4. The version of this joke i originally heard also had a rabbit. The lawyer says “fuck the children” the priest says “do we have time” and the rabbi looks confused and says “out of what?”

            1. So true. The other thing that I can’t stand is seeing smokers congregating in front of any business. It makes the business appear low class. Additionally, their productivity levels are typically lower than non-smokers. How many fucking “smoke breaks” do these people take each day?!?!…

              1. As a smoker (cutting down the qty significantly) I agree with how a lot of smokers abuse the smoke break policies. At MOST, I take 2, 10 minutes breaks per day. The past week and a half I haven’t taken any smoke breaks. Used to work at a McDonald’s when I was a teenager and there were people who smoked more than they worked. Pissed me right off.

                  1. Where I work, we pretty much handle our own accounts so if you leave for a smoke break, you’re not really putting an undue burden on anyone but yourself. That being said, I still avoid abusing the privilege as I don’t want to be seen as “that guy” who’s always walking out to take a break.
                    Strictly 2 or less breaks per day and strictly less than 10 minutes.

                    1. Great! I’ll come in on Monday. I assume you’ll beat what I’m being paid now and will provide a full benefits package including health and dental?

                    2. Come by Saturday. If the door appears locked just go ahead and break it down. Don’t mind the noise, its just a “Welcome Clarion”. Cooperate with the “Welcome Committee” (they’ll arrive in due course) and they’ll set you up.

                1. Good for you Jak. I hope you can eventually quit, brother. As men, we can’t afford to be careless with anything. We need to make every effort possible to maintain excellent health.

                  1. I would be content with getting down to 1-2/day. I rarely drink (maybe 2 drinks/week), am getting back on the ball with exercising and eating right, so I’m honing in everything else.

                2. For the past 2 days the boss from HQ was at the office and could not smoke other than at lunch time or by sneaking to the toilet (risky). Fucking torment that was! Now he’s gone and me and the gang can take liberties once again.

  9. Were talking about smoking just cigarettes, right?.
    Ok. That’s dumb as he’ll..
    No point at all.
    Waste of money, time, lungs, and everything you own smelling awful.

    Grass on the other hand , is great .
    Roll a doob, play some procol harum, and have a groovy time.

  10. Mint chew and hard, salty licorice work well. Plus vary your habits. If you always smoke/dip after doing x, don’t do x for the first week or come up with something highly distracting to do instead. 100 push-ups or other physical exercise do the job.

  11. It’s real easy for someone who has never smoked to say all you have to do is stop. I started smoking when I was 15. It was cool. It made you look tough. And for some of us nicotine is highly addictive. It depends on the number of nicotinic receptors you are blessed with. My ex could smoke a cigarette and not want another one for six months or a year.

    I can smoke one cigarette and be back to two and a half packs a day in a hot minute! I smoked off and on for 27 years. I quit several times. Once for over a year. I tried everything I could think of, but for me nicotine is like Heroin. I have even heard it’s easier to quit Heroin than nicotine.

    I had my very last cigarette on April 10, 2005. I had been praying for six months to quit. I woke up that morning and coughed up blood. I said “Okay Lord I got the message!” I went to the store bought some nicotine gum and threw my cigarettes away.

    Pretty soon I discovered that I was now addicted to nicotine gum. So I started praying about that. Shortly thereafter I was bitten by a tick and contracted Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. I nearly died, but after that my nicotine addiction was broken. The Lord truly works in mysterious ways!

    Based on all this, there is no chance I will ever start smoking again. So if you can do it with a book, I really would encourage you to do so. My method is a lot harder on you. 😉

    1. After quitting for awhile, honey works great for restoring your lungs to original capacity. The tar from smoking is exactly that, like road tar. It stays in your lungs. There is no expectorant or medicine that can remove the tar – except for honey. People who drink honey (raw organic is best) after quitting can gradually cough up the tar as it slowly loostens. It takes a good long while but honey does the job.

      1. Honey is truly amazing. We use it to quell seasonal allergies too. It is important to buy locally produced wild flower honey from the season you are in for it to be effective. There are numerous other health benefits to honey as well, when used in moderation of course.

    2. “Pretty soon I discovered that I was now addicted to nicotine gum.”

      Something similar happened to me, but I think it was a good thing actually.

      I had tried cold turkey, patches, gum, and none had worked. I then tried those lozenges they have. “Commit” I think was the brand name.

      I was off cigarettes in a day and addicted to lozenges. I used them for months. Lots of them.

      At first, I thought I had not really accomplished much. I had simply changed one addiction for another. This one was cleaner and didn’t really bother other people like smoking did, but it was still an addiction. Once upon a time (for many years), I had checked my cigarette pack before going anywhere or doing anything to see if I was going to need to stop to buy cigs. I was a slave to them.

      Now I checked my lozenges first. I was becoming a slave to them.

      But then I realized, what it had done though was break the mental/habitual addiction with cigarettes.

      There are two parts to cigarette addiction. The actual nicotine addiction, which is quite strong, but also the mental/habit addiction, which is usually even stronger.

      You light up at certain times no matter what. First wake up? Light a cig. Get in the car? Light a cig. Finish eating? Light a cig. Break time at work? Light a cig and socialize.

      Those habits had all been broken without me really paying attention, leaving just the physical nicotine addiction.

      I locked myself in my apartment for a weekend, didn’t buy any lozenges, and that was the end of it. Haven’t had a cigarette since then. Breaking the physical addiction was so much easier because the habitual addiction didn’t exist anymore.

      Breaking the addiction into two parts, mental/habit and actual nicotine addition, seemed to work out very well for me.

      Not sure if it would work for everyone, but it did for me. It’s something to consider for people who may have tried a few times to quit and not been able to succeed.

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