He Who Rules the Checkbook

As a father and husband you have to wear many hats.  You have to be the protector,  the teacher, the strong ox, the one who guides them etc.  One thing I’ve also realized is how you also have to be in charge of the finances of your family and how you need to be the one who green lights all expenditures.

I was not always like this with money.  I had been careless with it when i was younger and got used to spending money I didn’t have.  As I got older I have learned the error of this way of thinking, but I don’t think women ever do.  They will spend however much money you let them, and it can get out of control.

My wife did this to me one time and I let her know about it.  She told me she wanted to get makeup.  Fine no big deal.  I like a woman done up with makeup and such.  I was assuming she was going to a drug store or something, boy was I wrong.  She came back with one bag an with two items in it.  The total cost was $80(!) for fucking makeup.  She had no problem spending it because I trusted her to be reasonable with the cash.  I told her that was the last time we’re buying $80 makeup

This got me thinking about not just my life but women in general will frivolously spend money if you let them.  They like to spend money and they will hamster and rationalize almost any purchase, almost the way children would act.

Be the Accountant

I like to have my money and expenses mapped out for me and I think about every last cent that goes toward bills, into savings, or into a purchase.   If you have control of your finances, you know where things are going and you don’t end up putting money toward $40 eyeliner.  In fact, my wife only felt guilty once I showed her how on top of things I am with our money, and she even said it helps her to be conscious of spending because she knows I’ll stop such behavior.  Women crave structure and direction, so this just adds to that.

If you want to get started but want it to be easier than a huge excel doc then I recommend the app Mint.



It has a clean interface and makes it a no brainer if you’re trying to get things set up easily.  I’ve been using it for years and its great.  While having your finances in check is important for everyone, there is even more to it than just having a nice savings account.

The Lesson

Taking care of your finances is something you should be teaching your children as well.  When they are old enough, I want to teach them how to save money, invest, and all the things I wish I knew at 18 years old.    Not only can your kids learn from you, but you can advise your wife as well.  As noted above, my wife loves that I handle the finances and I allow enough money each week for everything we need.

If any of you are in a relationship where your wife runs the show financially, I’d recommend stepping up and taking over the job or at least getting involved in some way.  Handing over your paycheck each week to your wife isn’t the best idea.  Try telling your wife that you want to help with the finances more, or even take them over as I did.


As the leader of your family, you need to be in control of your family’s money.  You should be the one making the financial decisions and setting things up for your future.  Use an app if you don’t have a clue and if your wife is in control of your finances, make sure you get involved.


-J. Nyx

Author: Jnyx

J. Nyx is a father of three and co-owner of akingscastle.com. He understands that there is something missing in the community and that you can be a traditional, masculine man in our current age as well as a dedicated leader of your family.