“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.”
― Anthony Robbins
In today’s society, we’re often taught to look out for number one. Always make sure you’re getting yourself taken care of and screw everyone else. In a lot of ways, that’s sound advice.
Don’t sell your soul to your company when they won’t hesitate to drop you to increase their profit margin.
Don’t extend yourself out to strangers who will gladly screw you over for a few bucks or a fleeting moment of fame.
The dark world can be harsh and leave us cynical and selfish, but there’s one area that shouldn’t be true; with your family and friends. A friend that I look up to has reminded me lately that you must be generous to your family and friends, even if you personally have nothing to gain from it. He practices what he preaches and praises other men for their accomplishments while expecting nothing in return.
Many of you have probably heard of the concept of abundance mentality. It’s the idea that you give freely and abundantly because there’s always more left over. This is easy to understand with your family. Give your wife and kids abundant love. It’s not like you’re going to run out of it.
Application can be tougher however. The kids can be bouncing off the walls. The wife can be in a bad mood. It’s hard to express your love for them while you have a vein bulging out of your forehead, but it’s vitally important you do so regardless.
We often talk about our role as leaders of the family. Displaying an abundant mindset is one of those roles. You are the example they look to. If you practice a scarcity mindset, so will they.
As you give more to your wife, the more she will give back to you. The same holds true for your kids.
This brings us to our next topic, how do you practice abundance within your household? It doesn’t mean buying your wife and kids whatever they want or being a doormat. Rather, it means treating your family with benevolence. Below is a list of actions and their counterparts to help illustrate both abundant and scarcity mindsets. As you review this list, reflect on the impact practicing each will have on your family.
- Complimenting / Criticizing
- A Sense of Gratitude / A Sense of Entitlement
- Forgive / Hold a Grudge
- Accountable / Blames Others
- Transformations Perspective / Transactional Perspective
- Wants Others to Succeed / Hopes Others Will Fail
If you are working your way out of a bad point in your marriage, applying these concepts will seem even rougher and your cynical nature will urge you against it. She’s not doing these things for you, why should you do them for her?
It’s counter-intuitive, but that’s precisely the reason you must give of yourself first. If you’re not willing to put yourself out there, what example does that set for the rest of your family. You must enter action with boldness, unafraid of the consequences. If things have been especially bad lately, don’t be discouraged if it’s not immediately reciprocated. It will take time for them to realize you are sincere in your intent.
As we near the holidays, take time to reflect on what kind of future you want for your family and the role you play in that future. Make conscious efforts to build your family up and not be so petty that you tear everything down around you. This is what it means to transcend the Red Pill – pushing past the cynical aspect to enjoy the life you create.