The Choice to Lead

When we embark on this journey as fathers and husbands, we are making a choice, but at that time it doesn’t seem like we are making such a monumental one.  Things like getting married and choosing to have kids with your wife are the easy things.  The other things that you chose at these times are to be the leader at all times.  You’re constantly under scrutiny, but at the same time, they all hold you to the highest regard in the first place, and if not, you’ve screwed something up. Something recently made me think about all of this and how we’re always looked upon to be the one who leads.

Dog Days

What brought on all of this was the fact that I got a new dog last summer.  He’s a Spanish Mastiff better known as a Presa Canario.  These dogs are no joke, and it takes a serious amount of training with them to get them not to be assholes.  Granted, they are guard dogs (much like a German Shepard) who will be the greatest, nicest dog to his family but will rip an attacker/burglars hand off.  The problem with this is that while your family is safe, the neighbors kid who comes over or friends you have in your home can turn into Alpo real quick.   I was a little lazy with training the dog and he started showing signs that he was getting into the alpha role.  I knew what had to be done.   I started training with him, showing him who was boss and this dog has done a completely 180.

What does all of this have to do with kids and a family you may ask?  Think about how similar it is.  Just like women and children, the dog looks to you for direction.   If you don’t step up to the plate and do what you have to, it can be disastrous.  I realized when I decided to get this dog, I was deciding to always be the one in control, just like with a family.


Getting married very similar.  You may do it for love or whatever other reason you chose at that time, but you are signing up to be the leader in your marriage.  You’re signing up to be the one who does the heavy lifting and the one who deals with “man” stuff.  If you’ve chosen your wife wisely, she’ll handle all  the “woman” stuff.  This is the start to a successful marriage to me.  My wife knows I’ll handle my end of the deal, and she handles hers.  I know if I slip up and don’t do what a man should (lose frame, get out of shape, etc) then it leads to disaster.

No woman in the world can resist a guy who just handles his shit all the time, and does so in a calm relaxed manner.  Just like with the dog, I have to make sure that I guide her correctly through things.  This doesn’t mean do everything and just let her slack off either.  It is a team effort sure, but that team needs a captain.


Kids are no different either.  I’ve seen households where the children are the ones in charge.  I will never allow that to happen ever.  Your kids look to you to be something other than what their mother is.   Just like her, you’re the one who fixes things.  You’re the one who does “dad” stuff for them.  You need to be an example of how to be a man to your sons, and an example of what kind of man you’d like your daughter to marry.   Granted there are cases of people who were good parents and ended up with fucked up kids, but there is usually something that went wrong along the way.


For me, the keys to always staying on point and being the leader your family deserves comes down to:

  • Doing what you say you will, and saying no when you don’t want to do something or cant
  • Try your hardest to be the best example of a man you can.
  • Never bitch or complain about the things you have to do.
  • Remain calm in stressful situations.  You need to be the one getting them out of the fires they build for themselves.
  • Remember to be fun and make them laugh.

At the end of the day we all know when we’re on the right path, and when we’re fucking around.  We lead the family, and the leader is of shit quality, so will be his subjects.



Author: Jnyx

Fitness addict, DIY guru, tech nerd, member of Memesters Local 419.

214 thoughts on “The Choice to Lead”

  1. ” If you’ve chosen your wife wisely”

    – Very true. Maybe 10% of them will be “wife material”. 10% of the pretty ones anyway. Not very good odds, IMO. Of course if you want to shoot for a 5/6 or under then the percentage will increase. But who hell wants that?

    ” I’ve seen households where the children are the ones in charge.”

    – Me too. Seems to be the majority of upper middle class families these days. Almost always from families where the mother has a “career”, and stems from guilt that some foreign, 3rd world lady is actually the one raising the kids.

    Once again, nice article and great advice.
    As far as your points for success go, I would add that a father’s most important task is to train his son(s) to be like him. Work out with him and take him to the gym. Train him to fight if you can, or enroll him in boxing/martial arts if not feasible for you to do it. Make sure he can change oil & tune a care. Fix the roof or build a tool shed. Replace a faucet or a toilet. Make sure he runs with a good group of guys, is on some sports teams, and gets dates with pretty girls. It is important to note the most kids will be able to do this on their own. BUT, (1) having a father as a mentor and trainer will put a well adjusted kid WAY AHEAD of his peers, and (2) EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY if your kid is not well adjusted and is struggling he will absolutely FALL THROUGH THE CRACKS if you do not step in and do this. It is a SIN for a father to let his son fall through the cracks. A real sin.

    1. I work between 35 to 40
      Hours a week and raise a 15 year old son . It’s tough to keep track of him . Hell he could be banging his teacher which would make me extremely jealous .

      1. I do 50 hours a week + 130 to 140 minute round trip commute.
        No kids here (obviously), but I can imagine some of the stress you get. From your other comments you seem like the type of father that gives a damn about your son. Good for you…and even better for him!

          1. would..lean?
            drake supposedly created the “dab” a dance move which he clearly ripped off from martin short

                  1. too bad the whole bit isnt there- hes in a pool doing syncrhonized swimming-with water wings on…nice bright orange

              1. Im going mental just thinking about it. once ferrell and fallon left, it was done. and that was around 03 or so…

                1. Nah…stunk after Belushi left…
                  Short and Piscopo were funny though.
                  And I suppose Murphy, if you try not to ignore the crap with the trannies…

    2. My dad was a laborer/truck driver – manually loaded bricks on/off truck.
      Worked with him lifting bricks, and other labor jobs since I could walk. Learnt some tools, trades/techniques. And sewing cooking from my mom…
      Other than that – nothing.
      because they didn’t/don’t know anything.

      So, yea – would have been great to learn about life, the pooniverse, and a few other things…
      But, not so bad learning thru 30s, 40s and 50s – still finding my way, learning, and dreaming…
      Getting abundant loven occasionally is the same as getting cash-rich occasionally.
      I reckon feels so much better if it is not served to you for nothing.

      1. I had the advantages of a highly intelligent and literate family, their intellectual friends (a number of whom were faculty from William & Mary), a house full of books and a private school education. But even at that, there has still been an incredible amount to learn through my 20s, 30s, 40s and now, 50s. Just like you, I am still exploring and finding my way as well. I expect to keep right on learning and sharing that knowledge until I am no longer physically able. After that, I strongly suspect that the whole process starts all over again.

  2. “Never bitch or complain about the things you have to do”.

    All too often I see and hear men do this thing. The impression I have is that being a father and husband is a job where nobody will ever stop to say thank you. So that’s why going in I remind myself that I do this for duty. And excelling at your duty is a reward in and of itself.

    A man of no heritage builds himself a dead-end road.

        1. Because the idea of heritage and a legacy has largely been lost among people my age. Especially the more limp-wristed crowd. People often forget that children are arguably our greatest legacy and not just a less hairy pet like some of my generation would treat them.

  3. Suceess:

    Point 6: Be on time. When you commit to be somewhere or complete something, you have an obligation (especially when it involves other men) to be there.

    “We lead the family, and the leader is of shit quality, so will be his subjects.”

    Yes. Prisons are filled with the subjects of single moms and bad fathers. But mostly single moms.

    Prepare your sons to lead and teach them to access that situation and step in if warranted. Support competent leadership, but step up when none exists. What you will notice in society or any Institution, everyone likes the perks that comes with leadership positions, but most do not want the responsibility that comes with it. Being a leader that gets results and makes the tough decisions will not make you popular, but you will be the one they come to rely on for guidance.

  4. I don’t know guys, all of that sounds like a lot of hard unrewarding work. It’s better to focus on yourself and your vices. Sure I can have a family and kids, or I can freebase Kratom in the bathroom of a seedy strip club in Philly.
    I’ll go with the latter.

    1. Why not hang upside down and then start shitting to see if log rolls down your back and hits the back of your head?

      1. George Burns once said that Harpo Marx would hang upside-down from a tree when they played golf and take a leak. So well, ahem, equipped was he that stream would clear his face every time.

            1. When you consider the year, the level of fame and wealth that bank head had and just the society and culture of the day it was absolutely nuts.

              What Chico did in that story adjusted for inflation would be like walking up to Taylor Swift and just shoving it in her ass

    2. Imagine doing a line of cocaine and Kratom off her tits in the champagne room ; now that’s what life is all about .

  5. The absolute worst mistake I made in my marriage was to buy into the whole “partnership” bullshit. I thought marriage was supposed to be a true partnership, where two people worked together for their common good. Where we made decisions together, and we both stuck by them for the good of the marriage. Where we made trade-offs for one another, made sacrifices for our long-term goals together, etc. I made the mistake of believing all the blue pill crap that men and women were the same, wanted the same things, needed the same things, and had the same desires and goals.

    Even worse than that, I did not understand that I needed to lead. Because I believed it was a partnership, and we were two grown and educated adults, I thought we could work things out between us and share responsibility. I didn’t understand that being a husband also means that you are the head of the household, which is kind of like having to be the parent even to someone who is supposedly just as mature and capable as you are — no matter how big a feminist she says she is, or how independent she acts.

    I did not understand that I, as the man, was always the person who was responsible, when it really matters, whether we had “made a decision together” and she had changed her mind, or whether she had gone off and done something on her own… at the end of the day, I was always the one who was ultimately responsible for fixing what was broken and cleaning up the messes.

    Anyone considering marriage should understand this, and plan accordingly. No matter how strong she is, how smart, how feminist, how educated, how independent… when the shit really hits the fan, she will look to you and expect you to handle it.

    1. Agree with this as a whole but I’d like to add my own $0.02 to one part. Marriage is indeed a partnership, but not in the sense that most people view a partnership (businesswise). You and your wife should be working towards the same end goals, though your approaches will likely vary because, well…we’re men and they’re women. You are charged with leading the house and your wife should be your first mate. You confide in her and respect her input, but ultimately, it is your job to steer the ship. She must respect this arrangement or else things begin to get messy.
      Also, men and women’s values will differ on some things and that’s ok. I actually am working on a series based off a book I’ve been reading. I think it will be eye opening to many of the men here. It certainly has been to me.

      1. I understand your point, but I think that to call it a “partnership” you have to change the ultimate definition of what a real partnership is, or at least the way most men generally think of a partnership. I think using the term “partnership” is really a big trap, because even if you hang caveats on it, most men will still impose their concept of a real partnership on marriage if you use that term.

        Men are familiar with partnership relationships primarily with other men, where each man is expected to pull his own weight and both suffer equally the consequences of any failures. That is categorically NOT what happens in a marriage.

        Yes, you and your wife should be working towards the same end goals, but a man cannot expect his wife to pull her weight or suffer the consequences of any failure. You can pay as much lip service to that as you want, but at the end of the day, its just not how the real world works.

        Even more than that, the man has to continue to lead. He has to be the one driving the marriage towards its end goals and keeping both himself and his wife moving towards those goals, which again negates it from being a real, true partnership.

        1. Sounds like a team, not a partnership.

          The team has a unified goal, everyone has their jobs to accomplish those goals, but not everyone is the leader.

      2. “You are charged with leading the house and your wife should be your first mate.”
        That’s exactly it.

    2. “The buck stops here” – Harry S Truman

      Agreed on this, the final responsibility in the family does fall on your shoulders. That does not mean you can’t delegate though.

      My wife knows she is tasked with putting food on the table and laundry in the dresser drawers, if that doesn’t happen, I am ultimately responsible. She may delegate to the kids as she wishes, but it won’t change the fact that she is the one tasked with it. If she fails, then it falls on my shoulders.

      “Orders roll downwards, complaints float upwards” – Vinny Pringo

            1. I still recall when the nun told the boys in my 2nd grade class we would go to hell if we imagine kissing the girls in class. I knew then I was damned and could stop trying. It was actually a relief.

                    1. Catholic girls (With a tiny little mustache)
                      Catholic girls (Do you know how they go?)
                      Catholic girls (In the rectory basement)
                      (Father Riley’s a fairy but it don’t bother Mary)
                      Catholic girls (At the CYO)
                      Catholic girls (Do you know how they go?)
                      Catholic girls (There can be no replacement)
                      (How do they go, after the show?)

                      [Verse 1: Joe]
                      All the way, that’s the way they go
                      Everyday, and none of their mamas ever seem to know
                      Hip-hip-hooray, for all the class they show
                      There’s nothing like a catholic girl
                      At the CYO when they learn to blow…

                      [Refrain: Father Riley & Mary]
                      They’re learning to blow
                      All the catholic boys! (Warren Cuccurullo…)
                      Catholic boys! (Kinda young, kinda wow!)
                      Catholic boys! (Vinnie Colaiuta…)
                      Where are they now?
                      Did they all take the vow?

                      [Refrain: Father Riley, Warren and Officer Butzis]
                      Catholic girls (Carmenita Scarfone…)!
                      Catholic girls (Hey! she gave me VD!)
                      Catholic girls (Toni Carbone!)
                      With a tongue like a cow
                      She could make you go wow!

                1. Latent rage. I think the catholic schools over compensate and there is a lot of unpacked baggage in the homes. For the most part I would still recommend a catholic school over a public one any day.

                    1. Pending where you are, you will find many students enrolled are not even catholic. There is an urban catholic HS I know of that is known at “last chance” HS. They get the guys who are expelled from the local school district and are about one bad decision away of ending up in the joint. The priests are up front they don’t tolerate BS and will bounce the off them lockers if they have too (and expel them).

                      They retain about 80% of this type of kids and have testimonials from former students who said it saved them from messing up their lives which the local public school system and press seem to hate.

                    2. Too bad there arent enough nuns or priests anymore; they cant pay a poverty wage to teachers…simply cannot compete

                    3. That’s the way it is here. Mostly just parents who cant afford proper private schools but want to save their offspring from gladiator academy.

                    4. you learned a lot from spiderman: homecoming, which features the building. Are you sure you didnt go to the Verbal Kint Academy just down the road

                    1. Yup. I remember when I was in high school (back when TSS was over there) it was always fun to be around that area when school let out. But yeah, going to a catholic school that was, for all intents and purposes, at the bottom of a hill so deep that it would flood with any rain, in a cemetery must have been odd.

              1. And and, slutty girls. What are they teaching them in Catholic school?

                Sorry replied to wrong comment.

      1. “The buck stops here” – Harry S Truman

        So I have always known what this means through context, but never full understood the imagery. I am not even sure if it is about the animal or the one dollar note. Can anyone explain this?

        1. It comes from the phrase “passing the buck” which basically means passing the blame. That comes from a term they used to use in poker to designate whose turn it was to deal the cards.

            1. Neither. I think the “buck” was just the nickname for whatever they used to show whose turn it was. The “buck” was just something on the table that would pass from one player to the next as the next turn to deal the cards came up.

                1. Right?
                  I mean, i wondered for a while if my urban upbringing just disallowed some information about nature and maybe bucks (with antlers) are really well noted for charging and not stopping so Truman was saying that he is putting up a solid wall and the damn charging buck will be stopping here.

          1. ok, i got that (other than the poker thing i didn’t know that) but what is this buck that gets passed.

            So to pass the buck one passes on the responsibility. But neither the image of the large animal or the bank note seems to be a meaningful analogy there.

            1. I’ve exhausted my limited knowledge of this topic, which is based solely on a conversation I overheard on a crowded airplane, so take it for what it is worth.

      2. BTW Jim. The apple and oranges stuffing for the turkey was a major success. Will be doing that every T-day now. Thanks!

    3. The “partnership” fallacy is a common one. I think most of my generation was fed that BS, then once you follow through you will watch her crumble along with your marriage. You have to lead as you are on the hook for everything (despite what she believes).

    4. We need go back to what our ancestors knew from eons of experience passed down from one generation to the next.

      Marriage and families are not partnerships. They’re teams.

      You and your wife (hopefully) have the same goal (increased prosperity of the family), but like all teams, not everyone has the same job, and not everyone is a co-leader on the team.

      1. My favorite analogy is a three-legged race. Sure, its a team, or a partnership or whatever, but unless there is ABSOLUTE consensus on goals and direction you’ll just be fighting each other the entire time at great expense of energy.

        1. Yes, this is a fantastic analogy. Especially when you get tangled up in each other’s flailing limbs, fall to the ground face first, and she starts kicking you in the nuts because she broke a nail.

        2. In a way, all of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be
          their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo.
          For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us. But as
          sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their
          own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be *the actual* El Guapo!

    5. Are you ok today buddy? I kept reading expecting it to be joke until I realized you were being serious.

    6. I wholeheartedly agree with you. The myth of the “partnership” may be the single most destructive part of the blue pill mindset. It seems logical, fair, and loving. Clear thinking men are likely to believe it out of the better angles of their nature. But it’s wrong.

      Men must always lead, or they will be discarded. If you place yourself primarily in service to a woman’s goals under the illusion that you are “partnering” up, you will lose her.

    7. “when the shit really hits the fan, she will look to you and expect you to handle it.”

      Reminds me of a joke I heard on one those HBO “black comedian” shows.
      The guy tells a joke about getting surrounded by a gang in Newark or someplace like that. His girlfriend screams at him “Do Something!!!”.
      He says back to her: “Oh yeah, I’m gonna do something. I’m gonna stand here and hope they find you more attractive then they find me…”

  6. The Red Pill and realizations like this have forever altered the way I look at dating and girls. Getting to know girls now almost always includes covert litmus tests to see how well I can lead them and if they’re willing to submit. In this day and age, that’s pretty extensive at times. I feel better equipped for it now, though. The pool may have shrunk, but I am wiser and more cunning than I’ve ever been and that trend won’t be reversed.

  7. I cannot stress the importance of being a man of your word. If you say you are going to do something, be sure and follow through. Nothing ruins your credibility more than making promises you can’t or won’t keep. As the author notes, learning to say no is a big part of that. If we try to placate our spouse or children by agreeing to do things we shouldn’t do or even simply don’t want to do, sooner or later we will resent it. And your family, especially the females, will pick up on that. That will create disharmony in your household and can ultimately lead to divorce.

  8. Family leadership- stop asking/begging/ bribing little crumb snatchers to do the right thing, just tell em. I hear parents all the time saying things like , ” please don’t do that”. When you ask them, it gives the impression that the request is optional. Ignoring or tuning out bad behavior at home causes bad behavior everywhere else. If you ignore it at home there’s no reason not to expect them to act like wild Indians ( no offense meant to any of our indigenous Native American friends who may or may not be present) when you go out to a restaurant/church or wherever. You’ve seen these people, mom and dad sitting at the table while their evil spawn run back and forth bothering everyone else.
    At times the parents may glance around as if to say,”aww isn’t that cute? Little 666 jr. is over there bothering Mr and Mrs UnreconstructedConfederate while they are eating supper”.
    I also used to think the blue pill thing about everything being “equal ” and sometimes I would try to get my wife to make a call on something and she rarely would. I learned (slowly) over time that what she wanted was for ME to make the call. Instead of being aggravated about some of the mundane things she came to me with to make a decision I should have been proud of it. Now when she comes to me with things like that I just make the call on it without hesitation.

    1. I will tell my children to please stop doing something the first time as my wife and I want them to have good manners so we’re leading by example (Please, Thank You, etc), but as soon as I have to bring up the issue again, the “please” goes away and the tone gets firm.
      1st Time: “Please go clean up your room.”
      2nd Time: “Go clean up your room now.”

      1. I left out the part about thanks by accident, I had a hard enough time getting all that typed out without getting sidetracked.
        I usually only used ” please ” if it was an optional instruction. I did thank them afterward though.
        Papa Confederate(RIP) would simply tell us the first time, the second time he would tell us again while adding something like ” or you will be standing up to eat tonight “.

            1. My grandmother, alive to this day, would take the spoon out of the sauce, slap me in the face and tell me to “watch ya fuckkin mout” I can still feel the warm sauce on my cheek.

              1. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmsauce.
                My grandmother relied solely on the maloche. My mom was the spoon-artiste. Dad was a back-hand aficionado.

                1. I don’t even know what all that commie food y’all talking about is, this is America where we speak American.

              2. My grandmothers were old school Southern Baptists who were convinced that if one used a word such as hell or damn outside of the biblical sense they were immediately going to be in deep doodoo.

                    1. In the highly unlikely event I live to be that old I’ll probably be in the retirement home waiting on a diaper change.

                    2. both sides of my family has unnatural longevity which includes being healthy. My grandmother on the other side just turned 100. Still fucking drives. Eats out with her friends, plays bridge. Other than 3 non natural deaths i have never been to a family funeral where the guest of honor was under 90.

                      At my grandfathter’s funeral a few years ago they had a USMC honor guard complete with the 21 gun salute. Somehow my grandmother wound up catching a bullet casing on the side of her arm and let out a profanity laced diatribe to the Marine Major who was there to give her a flag.

                    3. My family is the exact opposite, most all of them died young, I’m two years older than my dad was when he passed away. My maternal grandmothers father lived to be 92 though so i guess there’s a possibility although her mother died in her 50s, she was an invalid due to rheumatoid arthritis. Anything bad you can think of can fall on me out of my family tree.

        1. My daddy usually called me by whatever nickname he decided on at the moment, however when he called me by my given name I knew it was bad and if he threw in a few cuss words, it was Really bad.

          1. Funny thing, I always feel it is odd to hear fathers called “daddy” by adults. Is that a southern thing? I’ve only heard it really from southerners. All other uses of daddy have been…….not paternal.

            1. Yeah it’s a southern thing. It’s what everyone here calls him. “Dad” always has a cold,distant sound to me as does “mom”, her name is Mama.

    2. “You tell the kid COME HERE and he says no and keeps running –
      then you go and GET him – that’s YES!”
      -The Cos.

      1. When he keeps running, ” I don’t have to chase you but, you gotta come back sooner or later”.

  9. Mothers have their own secret invisible strings they can pull with the kids that make the kids go batshit and unresponsive to father.

    Say you’re sitting in a nice restaurant and the young kid hasn’t touched their broccoli. Then they want a big expensive dessert. Father says “no” and kid accidentally spills everything followed by tantrums and the scene turns heads everywhere around. Mother sits there secretly secretly pulling the kid’s strings with her eyebrows. Yeah she’s controlling the incident like Bin Laden controlled the box cutter crew with his blinking eyes. The kid flips out ready to bite people and the mother is laughing inside but appears to have her hands clean in the scenario, twitching her thumb slightly as the kid responds and begins throwing the salt shakers.

    THEN the father switches to the mother and promises to fulfill some old frivolous request of hers. “Eeh you want to go window shopping for that new car next, cupcake??”

    NOW WATCH the mother’s eyebrows. IF YOU CATCH IT she just does something strange or she utters something subliminal into the kid’s ear and they turn into an angel. Heh. The bitch is busted. You CAUGHT the bitch pullin that shit. Playing the kid to shit test on daddy, to get daddy working up his shit for nothing. And in a restaurant cray tel. It could be in a store or anywhere. Or with neighbors or in church.

    Women have all kinds of sneaky shit in their bag you could write a fat book. It boils down to the woman being virtuous basically, whether she WANTS to use her sneaky witchie poo to get what she wants or if she would rather be virtuous and given unto her patriarchal master, body and soul. She can keep her sneaky manipulative shit in her box. It’s up to her. That’s one thing she controls, THE LID ON HER BOX.

    Still she retains her sneaky ass bag o tricks. Even Mother Theresa has a whopping bag of deviant tricks because she be born woman – but she has tempered her urges and her propensity to throw her sneaky woman tricks and antics around. Remember, the smarter the woman, the crazier the shit she can pull without you knowing it. You just have to keep theosophizing and pummeling her in the face with supreme patriarchal gospel like a rabbit with a rubber hammer upside the head. “buggawooga-boom-rattle”. Bomping your woman upside the head with the patriarchal word, no matter how non normative it may come off sounding to the outside world must never stop.

    A red pill patriarchal sermon on the mount about her true purpose on this Earth as a tit feeder is good for your woman, like a chiropractic adjustment whereas empathetic whiney woman talk is as bad for her as laying on a couch all day is for her posture. Her meandering tampon talk never ends if you allowed it to grow and morph. The subject matter gets unbearable, like the conversation gets legs and bags and unsightly growths with hairs and liver spots coming off it all too quickly.

    1. That’s quite an example there though I wonder about the validity. Speaking strictly from personal experience, my wife will jump on the kids faster than I would if they were to act out in a restaurant regardless whether we’re butting heads or not. Also, don’t know many other mothers who would pull a stunt like this either. May simply be the company I hang around, but this sounds like either A) trailer trash tricks or B) spoiled rich cunt tactics.

      1. “his sounds like either A) trailer trash tricks or B) spoiled rich cunt tactics.”
        funny how similar those two groups really are….

        1. Don’t have that issue too much. My wife and I might butt heads on a bunch of other things but we’re pretty in sync when handling the kiddos.

          1. She comes from a home with just her and her sister and her dad didn;t allow any sort of loudness in the house, like kids playing loudness.

            I come from a family with two boys and then my sister came along 10 years later. We were constantly getting into stuff, like boys do, so I understand when the kids are playing and get loud. She still has moments, a lot rarer now, where she reverts to thinking that children should just sit on the couch all day and be quiet. I say let them go as long as they aren;t doing anything harmful or disobeying house rules. They’ll be grown before we know it.

            1. I’m guilty of telling my kids to quiet down but in my defense, they’ll grab some orange cones used for sports and use them as megaphones. Echoes throughout the whole damn house.

              1. I’ll get them too, occasionally. Especially if the newest addition is asleep or they;re fighting. My oldest daughter also has a tendency to turn her CD player up as high as it will go. I can be on the crapper and hear every word of what she’s listening to.

                I;m not saying I allow chaos, but I don;t like seeing kids being made to sit still and not be, well, kids

                1. Or duct tape their mouth shut and lock em in the closet and if Mama don’t like it, she can spend a day or two in there with em! If she puts up a fight while I’m putting her in there, that’s an extra day.

                  1. something tells me this doesn’t actually happen.

                    That is one thing I miss about growing up. We had 80 acres with a creek flowing through. There were days that I spent 6 hours or more just poking around up and down the creek, shooting ground squirrels or playing spaceships in the boneyard.

                    1. When I was a kid usually the only warning I got when I left the house was, be back before dark and watch out for rattlesnakes.

                    2. “Something tells me this doesn’t actually happen”- it doesn’t happen often because they usually have their minds right by the time I let em out 🙂

                2. Backyard is full of dog poop so that’s a no go. I’m thinking of eventually installing a picket fence in the front yard so I don’t have to worry about them playing in traffic. Right now they’re still young enough to where they don’t quite grasp the concepts of property lines and roads.

                  1. The other day, I made a promise to the kids that if they keep the chickens fed and watered and eggs retrieved until summer, we will put a fence in and get a smaller dog like a short haired Cocker Spaniel. Dog will stay out though.

          2. I have to rein her in on the days she has stress and I come home from work. She will be short tempered and quick to lash out at them for being rambuntous. Usually I can get her to calm down within an hour of just goofing with her or helping her out.

  10. I’ve been very busy lately and I haven’t had time to view or comment as much as I would like. I really, really enjoyed this article, Jynx. Several of your points actually hit close to home with me…

    – Dog days… I’m a big animal lover. My wife and I have been rescuing Pitbull Terriers for over 20-years. Just like us Men, these dogs have been unfairly maligned over the years. When given the Proper Training, Socialization and Guidance, these dogs become shining ambassadors for the breed. Our home is filled with love and affection, it’s so much fun, it’s ridiculous. Every kid, in Every neighborhood that I’ve Ever lived in, comes to our home to play with our dogs – it’s such a beautiful thing – something you’ll never see on the news.

    The “Choice” to lead… Depending on your situation, this can either be by default or design. Either way, it’s something that takes great responsibility, and needs to be taken Very Seriously. In addition to my marriage and my business…

    – My father passed away a few years ago… I’ve taken over most of my mother’s household/financial affairs.

    – My sister recently divorced her dead-beat husband. I was the first person she reached out to (me, a man) for advice. I spoke with her every single day, for almost a year, until things were finalized. She just visited me last week and she’s doing fantastic. She paid entirely for the divorce, she has 3 investment properties and didn’t ask for shit from her ex-husband.

    – My in-laws are nearing 80-years old. They’re in good health, but they need to downsize. I’m currently working on a plan to get things streamlined for them.

    – My brother-in-law recently abandoned his family and I’ve taken a very active role in my nephew’s life.

    – This one may sound stupid, but I recently choked on a piece of meat and my wife had to give me the Heimlich Maneuver. Now, keep in mind, I’m 6′-0′, 235 lbs, and she’s 5′-2″, 110 lbs. She manhandled me like I was a ragdoll – she took care of big daddy. Everything worked out, but it was a very humbling experience… I got calls and emails for over two weeks from everybody to make sure I was OK. – it quickly makes you realize your place in this world.

    To some, it’s a heavy load to carry, but let me tell you, it’s absolutely worth it. As a man, I sleep well at night when I know those close to me are doing well.

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