My son is turning 10 this year, but I can honestly say he seems much older than that. The kid is insightful, smart, tough, and I honestly enjoy talking with him. I’ve noticed that he is becoming less reliant on his mother and comes to me for answers to things. I realize that this is the beginning of me teaching him the correct way to be a man, and I’ll share what I’ve been thinking about teaching him about.
A father and son interacting when you reach this point changes quite a bit. I’m sure at least some of you guys here remember this point in your sons life. There are clear boundaries and I don’t let him believe that we are equals, but I do value what the kid has to say. I think about how many boys don’t/didn’t have someone to teach them how to be a normal healthy male. One can take a single look at a good portion of the population, especially anyone under 35 and see who grew up with dad around.
As for my boy, I’ve been thinking about a few key things I want to make sure he understands. These are all things I think that a boy growing up needs to learn.
Self Sufficiency and Responsibility
I want my son to be a man of his word. I want him to be able to get himself in or out of any situation. I want him to take on responsibility and truly value hard work. While hes young, I wont just take over and do something for him. I want him to have to figure things out on his own, and more importantly, I want him to be able to trust his own ability and remove any fears of failing.
Too many males lack confidence. They are weak willed, and doubt their ability to live life completely. I want him to know the value he brings into any situation. I want him to not pedestalize anyone over himself, especially women. Which leads to my next point…
Normal Male Feelings
Despite the trend these days, I will not tell my son he’s wrong for thinking a girl his age is attractive. He doesn’t have to be rude about it, but a teen boy thinking a teen girl is hot is 100% normal. If he chooses to be in a relationship, I want him to not squash his own desires or point of view just for a chance at a piece of ass. Never degrade himself to externally validate.
Health and Fitness
One indicator of shit-tier parenting is people with overweight or even obese children. Most of the time the parents themselves are ham planets as well, but I honestly think it is a damn shame for the kids because they typically just eat whatever you give them. Worse than that, they never experience healthy food and adopt this shitty eating habit into adulthood.
We eat a home cooked meal every night that consists of a protein and a vegetables. I encourage all my kids to at least try something new they never had before.
I also plan to start my son with high volume training in a couple years. Hes already an MMA fighter and football player, so it will only help him and I think he’d respond well to it.
Finances and Future Planning
This was one spot I did not have any guidance on when I was a kid. We didn’t have a lot of money to throw around. I foolishly spent money I didn’t have when I was younger and I want to teach my children that frivolous spending isn’t the right answer.
A further thing I want to teach them is to think about their future. This will be a little later when they’re in high school but this was another place I wish I had more guidance. Out of high school it was just right to work at a shitty job. The state of colleges these days is pretty toxic but I think he’ll do well, as he is already leaning toward what I believe will be an engineering job. Another thing I’ll be real with him about is if he does try to go down the path of some bullshit degree, I’ll tell him. My Indian buddy’s father did this to him when he said he wanted to be a photographer. Straight up called him a “fucking idiot.” I like that approach.
This list is far from complete as there are many more things I’d like to teach my son to prepare him for life. I think one thing to take into consideration is to let him figure things out too. Give guidance but don’t take over completely.