As I write this my wife went with her mother and my daughter to a ballet. It gave me time to spend with my sons but more importantly, it gave us time away from each other on the weekend. It got me thinking about couples that spend all their free time together and how a few hours apart on the weekend can benefit all of you.
I know many couples that spend every second of their weekend together. They have all the same experiences, the same things to talk about, and it tends to make things a little stale. While I have a good relationship with my wife, and I do value time with her, this afternoon away has been good. Even in the best of relationships you have to have your own time to focus on yourself. It was good to just spend time with the boys without the whole crew together. My sons love hanging out with me and I enjoy spending time with them.
Its also good for my wife and daughter to have time away from us. My sons and I would never want to sit through a ballet. They get time to relax and have fun doing something they wouldn’t usually be able to do with us around. The benefits of time apart I’ve observed are:
You can truly relax when you’re by yourself or just with you and your children. My kids are pretty well behaved so I don’t always mind being around them by myself. We play games, watch movies/tv, and the whole thing is just relaxing.
As I’ve written about before, its good for you to bond with your kids, and its easier to do when its just you and them. You learn a lot about their personalities and it makes for a good situation to teach your kids life skills. I’m sure my wife and daughter are having a great time enjoying some of these benefits as well.
This time can be used to reflect on things you may not have the time to when you have to be running the show. I’m not saying you should give up all of your responsibilities, but if you can, use this downtime to work though problems you may be stuck on. You can also use this time to do something for yourself. Work out, work on a project, shit even just veg on the couch if you normally don’t.
This time can also be used to hang out with your other guy friends. Everyone should be doing this because you need these men. These are the guys you can shoot the shit with or even come to with a problem you’re having. These should be guys you can trust and I can’t tell you how many times we’ve gotten into deep conversation over a game of pool or horse shoes.
This was one of the best things I didn’t even consider. Once my wife got home, it was refreshing to see her. We had new things to talk about, and I swear it seems that spending time apart made us really enjoy the time together once they got back. I wont get into details of my personal life, but after bed time activities were just that much better lol.
Time away from your wife is something you may not get that much of, but I feel its essential for your mental being. Don’t just abandon your family every weekend, but a few hours here or there is fine. Use this time to connect with your buddies, work on a project, or just do something for yourself. You, your wife, and your kids will all benefit from this time of not being a family unit.