Ah January, a time when everyone is on their A game right?   Everyone is committed to getting fit/eating better, quitting smoking/drinking, saving more money, etc.  All of these are great but they typically don’t last very long.  The problem with new years resolutions is that they’re almost always destined to fail.  Today, I’ll go over why resolutions typically fail and what you can do to create real change in your life this year

The Problem

Sure after the gluttonous holidays everyone is ready to just get “back on track” again after New Years Eve.  While not impossible, the average person is usually back to their old ways by around January 15th.  I’ve always found that this is because of how we structure our resolutions.

Everyone likes to think that they can do whatever they want because once the ball drops in NYC, they’ve had their fun and its time to get serious about what change they want to implement into their lives. I find a huge flaw in this way of thinking.

Change, despite scenario (health, finance, etc)  needs to come from internal desire/determination, not external events like the calendar changing.   If you want to get fit, you have to be the one that says enough is enough and you’re committed to eating clean and working out.  Until you’re 100% on board with yourself, no change in your life is going to stick.  Typically when you aren’t the one manually initiating changes in your life, you’ll always view them as negative, difficult, or beyond your reach.

Then what do we do to get ourselves on the path to success in 2018?  How can we give ourselves the best odds?

How to Make It

Mind set:  This is the first point for a reason.  Any self doubt or negativity almost ensure failure.  If you go into a goal without the correct mind set, you aren’t really committed to it in the first place.  One way to overcome this is to look at the goal differently. One thing to do is to break down a large goal into smaller goals.    Instead of saying “I want to bench double what I do in a year”  say something like “I want to up my bench by 10% this month.” A second point here is to make sure your goals are realistic.  You cant wake up tomorrow and say “I want to compete in a pro powerlifting competition by next wednesday”  You have to make sure your goals are attainable.  The same guy who says “I want to pack on 10 lbs of muscle this year”  is more realistic.

Discipline:  I think discipline should be taught in schools.   It is so fundamental towards being a successful guy.  Don’t confuse this with motivation as most people do today.  You don’t need motivation to do something, you need the discipline to stick to a decision you’ve already made.  Take fitness for example, if you are motivated to change the way your body looks, you need the discipline to continue to hit the weights day in and day out, even if it doesn’t go the way you planned.

Failure:  People are too afraid of failing these days, but when you fail, it sets a new benchmark.  You get back up, dust your boots off, and try again.  When you meet that failure again, you’ll remember the last time and you’ll avoid the mistakes made in the previous attempt.

Reminders: Why you’re doing something can slip away from you if you forget why you initiated change in your life to begin with.  Reminders are good, easy, free ways you can make sure you’re focusing on the mission at hand.  If you’re too tired to go to the gym, remind yourself you’ve made a commitment to yourself, and you wont be throwing away all the time you have been killing it thus far.  If you’re trying to stack up cash, remind yourself that foolish expenditures are not something you’re doing anymore, and put that card back in your wallet.  Obviously, if you need  something buy it, but I’ve found that I can cut out many things I’ve been spending way too much money on, and my savings account reflects this.


When starting a new year, people like to set goals for themselves, often they fail within the first weeks of January.  Use the skills above to try to maintain your path to being the best you can be.


-J. Nyx

Author: Jnyx

Fitness addict, DIY guru, tech nerd, member of Memesters Local 419.

468 thoughts on “Resolutions”

  1. a key point in self-development is commitment. there will be many times where you will feel like giving up and these feelings will be very persistent. at those times, reaffirming your commitment to seeing your goal through is what will keep you going. relying on motivation alone is a sure way to dump the resolution down the shitter

              1. Not the same – JC is just saying people can and often do CHOOSE to be assholes, but he’s not suggesting enforcing some kind of remedy “for their own good”

                1. I would say it is the same thing not because his malefactors chose to be assholes but they chose wrong over right. Jesus’s miracles were known yet people accused him of sorcery and magic. People doubted him being the Son of God and understand that they should follow Him not man. Much like today, women choose to be over-spenders, follow rich bad boys; men choose greed over family….they clearly do not know what is good for them even though the Bible clearly states the 7 deadly sins.

                  1. The freedom to be an asshole is God-given.
                    The CHOICE to do otherwise (ie not follow Christ solely for his parlor tricks) is the path to salvation.
                    Indeed, weak and/or stupid people generally DONT know what’s good for them. Nevertheless, no system has any right enforcing ‘whats good for them’ upon them.

                    1. I certainly agree that man should not contain sin. It is not OUR job to do so. We cannot legislate it. The war on drugs is a prime example.

                2. have you met people? People are fucking morons. It is the primary problem with democracy. Power to the people? I can’t even get a breakfast sandwich made correctly.

                  1. They can moron all they want. Its on me to survive or even thrive off of their stupidity, not try to force them to be more like me.

                    1. sometimes the morons thrive better than those with common sense. The movie Jackass is a prime example.

                    2. That breeds chaos , which is what we see today . The beta males will tell you that they love single old hag mommies because they are reformed and their bad boy phase is over … on the flip side a woman in their 20s can party all day and night and find a beta chump when the fun is over . The manosphere wouldn’t exist if there were controls

                    3. You’re basically saying that it is a free for all and let everyone do what they please with no controls .

                    4. Not exactly –
                      The traffic in drugs will be permitted, but controlled — and thales will give up protection in the East — and there will be the peace.

                  2. some dont want their breakfast sammies done right(eg, two eggs with mayo AND salami. who does that?)

                    1. eggs on semolina with onions and peppers

                      fuck, now im hungry. Why didn’t i use an example of a plumber.

                      Whenever I think of people voting I am reminded of Zappa’s song Flakes from Sheik Yerbouti

                      I’m a moron ‘n’ this is my wife
                      She’s frosting a cake
                      With a paper knife
                      All what we got here’s
                      American made
                      It’s a little bit cheesey
                      But it’s nicely displayed
                      Well we don’t get excited when it
                      Crumbles ‘n’ breaks
                      We just get on the phone
                      And call up some Flakes
                      They rush on over
                      ‘N’ wreck it some more
                      ‘N’ we are so dumb
                      They’re linin’ up at our door
                      Well, the toilet went crazy
                      Yesterday afternoon
                      The plumber he says
                      “Never flush a tampoon!”
                      This great information
                      Cost me half a week’s pay
                      And the toilet blew up
                      Later on the next day ay-eee-ay

                    2. “eggs on semolina with onions and peppers”

                      Ever been to Defonte’s?
                      They were on 21st & 3rd.
                      Made an awesome peppers and eggs hero w/ virginia ham.
                      Great hot roast beef & roast pork too.
                      Of course I liked it so they closed due to high rent, I believe.
                      The original in brooklyn is still there.

                    3. I have not and a quick google shows the 21’st is still open. Sounds awesome. Will have to try it out. It is amazing how you can spend your whole life here and still learn about new places.

                    4. Hmmm…have to check it out next time I am in the area.
                      Worked a few blocks from there for many years.
                      They shut down in ’14 or ’15.
                      Awesome if they reopened.

                  3. That explains why politics has been college football. But the good thing about people being morons is that it is easy to make money off of them

                    1. Politics is much closer to the NFL than college football, if only because the players get paid so many millions of dollars to pretend to fight against each other for a couple hours a week.

                    2. Modern politics is literally (hitler) the “bread and circuses” of ancient Rome. Free stuff to buy votes (bread) and lots of public shouting and yelling by one team against the other team (circuses).

                    3. Yep. I’ve long abandoned the Democrat/Republican dynamics. I still use them from time to time simply for the sake of simplicity, but at this point they truly are opposite sides of the same coin.

                    4. Its little more than a most general indicator of what the candidate ‘believes’ the role of government should be. But yeah, like sportsball, you’re just cheering for painted helmets.

                    5. The people who run the Dem and the GOP parties are exactly alike. They are all super wealthy types. They are basically American aristocracy. They have much more in common with each other than they do with us common plebs who they rule over for our own good. Anytime push comes to shove, they will side with what keeps them in power and keeps making them money, collectively, over what is best for the average American citizen. That’s why the politicos all got themselves exempted from Obamacare, and from every other shitty program they force down our throats. It’s fucking Animal Farm and each phony “side” keeps pretending that they are fighting for us against the evil other “side” when really all they are doing is lining their pockets and laughing at us at their tea parties.

                    6. I loved Animal Farm – when they dumped the dean’s drunken daughter on the doorstep in a shopping cart….I mean, who here HASN’T done that!??!?!

                    7. I think jesse ventura said politics is just like wrestling- everybody friends behind the scenes, drinking a brewski

                    8. he claimed he had a mole in his mansion when he was the gov- reported back to DC. he also claimed their is one in every gov’s mansion…

                    9. I want you to take care of that mole right away. He sold out the old man, that stronz’. I don’t want to see him again. Make that first thing on your list, understand?

                    10. Yeah, wrestling is a great example. Modern politics is basically the WWE. And somebody really needs to find the Vince McMahon of politics and kick him in the nuts until he stops pushing Roman fucking Reigns as a face.

                    11. Yeah but when you push Reigns as a face for year after year and still the crowd boos him every time he walks out… its time to do something different. Make him a heel. He might even be able to turn it into a face like the Rock did.

                    12. Speaking of politicians I find it funny how people think Bernie is for the every man. The dude has three houses and is a career politician. He hasn’t had a real job in more than 2 decades

                    13. You just have to look at congressional voting records to see they agree on the same crap. Hell you can just look at the past couple of presidential administrations. Instead of out right getting rid of Obamacare trump wants to replace it. Also how long are we gonna be in the Middle East.

                    14. Agreed. The final straw for me was after the GOP won the House, Senate, AND the Presidency and yet Obamacare still remains in effect, even though they’ve all been campaigning on repealing it for nearly a decade. Should have been destroyed within the first week of Trump being in office. I will give them a smidge of credit for removing the mandate, which are the real teeth of the ACA, but ven then it took them a full fucking year to do so.
                      The Dem’s are full of crooks looking to steal from the taxpayers and the GOP put on good front, but they’re no better.

                    15. I started a whole thread in the forum dedicated to this exact issue — the future of the GOP (as a result of TrumpRussia). That the GOP couldn’t pass a single major act for a year shows you how hopelessly dysfunctional that party has become.

                      Don’t worry, though — IMO the party won’t be around much longer, at least not in its current form.

                    16. I suk at that.
                      I’m just saying that short of actually meddling with the vote count, we cant honestly accuse another country of fukking with an election.

                    17. I’d like to want to, but it would require ‘researching’ ‘data’ spat out by a less-than-unbiased, profit-driven media. We’d get no closer to any ‘truth’ than discussing the relative political positions of Archie and Jug-head.

                    18. FYI I’m really not interested in what the media says or public opinion believe. Mueller is a special counsel for the US Department of Justice. How those legal wheels are turning fascinate me. And the facts of the case.

                      But then again, my father was an attorney for 45 years, and we talk about the investigation a lot, so maybe I’m just more curious than others…

                    19. you aren’t searching hard enough, padawan…. there are small drips of leaks.

                      Most interesting is when former federal prosecutors and others who work at that level read the tea leaves… that provides context.

                      BTW unlike state or local prosecutors, federal prosecutors have 90 to 95% conviction rate. They generally never miss.

                    20. “…others who work at that level read the tea leaves…”
                      that’s called interpretation, sport. I do not disparage your interest in the legal machinations, however, since law is so much based on interpretation.

                    21. any curiosity about wasserman schultz and the iwan bros? how about the new DNC chair? you know anything about that guy? commie/socialist. ties to la raza/la mecha/el whatever

                    22. Lots of legislation passed this year as well, including major (the tax cuts, mandate repeal, etc). He’s starting to go full evangelical leftist again. What a way to start a year. smh.

                    23. you really are looking forward to the day when the Ministry of Truth has a job fair, arent you?

                    24. The Citizens United ruling has all but destroyed national politics in this country. If I had a magic wand, it would be wiped out of existence.

                    25. Wait, whaa? I thought that reducing or eliminating the incursion of international money into American politics was a NATIONALIST position, Mr GoJ Nationalist. Isn’t that where we can agree? Where our circles overlap on the Venn diagram?

                    26. I mean your obsession with injecting politics into everything. Christ dude, give it a fucking rest.

                    27. Snowflake, there were already 30+ political comments when I opened up this AKC this morning. Ya might want to complain to whoever started that particular political discussion.

                  4. If we made drug testing and a rudimentary exam necessary for voting, that would solve a whole lot of our problems.

                    1. I can name all 10! What do I win?!


                    1. C’mon, “Hell is constipation”? That’s some good shit right there, amiright? “No Exit”? Talk about layered!

                  5. Although I generally disagree with the political aspects of WB’s argument here, I nevertheless nominate this post for Featured Comment of the day, because of its utter brutal truthfulness… and the fact that its literally impossible to get a fucking breakfast sammich made correctly.

                    1. Easiest thing in the world. Make it yourself. It’s perfect every single time. The idea here is to change the framework and approach it differently. Having everything served to you will always cause disappointment eventually. Doing things on your own, you get precisely what you want.

                    2. Well yes, of course. But the topic was food preparation.

          1. if you’re seeking to oppress people, just let me know. i got some ideas and i certainly wouldn’t mind some extra cash in my pocket

            1. but freedom is what has made women into the monsters they are today but I guess it all shakes out in the end.

            2. That is one of those quotes that i always thought was dumb as fuck. Basically what it really means is “he who sacrifices the illusion of freedom for actual security deserves neither” which is the same as saying “he who sacrifices manna for a hamburger deserves neither”

              Ben Franklin may have been fun at parties and had some neat ideas on inventions (like the lazy susan) and I know he was a bad ass kite flyer, but most of the shit that came out of his mouth always seemed slightly worse than the shit that came out of his ass.


              1. “Basically what it really means is “he who sacrifices the illusion of freedom for actual security deserves neither”
                It could also be misinterpreted as sacrificing ACTUAL freedom for the ILLUSION of security.
                If you leave out the modifiers, it is a solid sentiment.

                1. The sentiment is fine and dandy. Only problem is that freedom is impossible and security is, at least, somewhat possible.

                  Freedom is part of the devils bargain. Always offering qualitative shit like freedom for quantitative shit like security. When someone makes you a devil’s bargain, like uncle bill says, tell the devil to piss off and not to take you for dumber than you look.
                  (even if your smot)

                    1. the dudes in black with their gatling guns camped out in times sq make him feel secure!

                2. Yep, there is no such thing as security in a real sense, you can easily be blown off the map despite every precaution, by some lunatic who doesn’t follow rules and who is slightly smarter than the rule makers, which isn’t hard to do. People who feel secure generically all the time lack situational awareness and are living in a dream world that is easily, and increasingly often, shattered by a lone nut.

                  Freedom on the other hand, well, that takes just walking down the street doing your thing without anybody trying to stop you.

                  1. What better example than the No Firearm signs at the entrances of buildings?
                    People’s 2nd Amendment right is being squelched for an ILLUSION of freedom. Does anyone really believe someone intent on mass murder is going to see one of those signs and go “Awww mannnn!”

                    1. For an Illusion of *safety* I think you meant.

                      But yes. Correct.

                    1. have you ever farmed watermelons in Colorado? Is your favorite movie about a farmer in Colorado who grows watermelons?

                    2. Could you sum up your feelings on my comments with a reference to an episode of the Simpsons?

                    3. I stopped responding to him. Any grown man who calls other men fags on the Internet is internally broken.

                    4. “Any grown man who calls other men fags on the Internet is internally broken.”
                      You might be in the wroooooooooooooooooong place, dood!

                    5. Absolutely. I read some of his comments on ROK. The amount of hostility he has towards people who have a different opinion from him is truly shocking. I expect nothing less from a racist and a closet homosexual.

                    6. Well, you and Jammy will be fast friends. Both of you love to thrown out baseless accusations with absolutely no proof or evidence. If you kiss his ass enough, he might just make you a tinfoil hat of your very own.

                    7. I’m pretty sure I am just as “hostile” to people that have the same opinion as me as to people that have a different opinion of me. And I’m not sure what in that statement you referred to shows that I am a racist or a homersexual.

                    8. I’m referring to the racist and homophobic comments you made on ROK. You’re hostility is quite apparent to everyone here, Thales. If what JammyJayBird said is true, I’m not surprised you got divorced.

                    9. What racist remarks did I make on RoK? Citations, please. And the closest I have ever come to making a “homophobic” remark is saying how scared I am of Haitians AIDS. I’m not scared of fags.

                      And I’m really sorry that mean words on the internet hurt your feelings, bro. But they are just mean words on the internet. Maybe you are the one that could use a little introspection.

                    10. Your insinuation that the majority of Haitians are infected with AIDS is exactly the racism I’m accusing you of. You’re so blatant about it that it does not even occur to you that what you said is false and offensive. The fact you call everyone here a “fag” shows you’re terrified of them.

                    11. Where did I insinuate that the majority of Haitians are infected with AIDS? Where? And I’m pretty sure Haitian isn’t a race, its a nationality. Anybody born or living on Haiti, regardless of their race, is a Haitian.

                      And how exactly is calling someone (or everyone) a “fag” prove that I am scared of fags? If I called everyone a motherfucker, would it mean I was scared of incest? Calling everyone a dummy means I’m scared of stupid people?

                    12. You expect me to dig through months of comments to prove to you what you said? You already know what I’m talking about. Don’t try to play innocent.

                    13. I’m not trying to play innocent, I’m merely asking you to back up your assertions. You are making allegations that I am racist and homophobic. You said that my statement in this thread above proved the allegations. Then when I called you on that, you said that some other statements somewhere else proved I was racist. And you still haven’t addressed why calling someone a fag means I’m scared of fags.

                      But Alfie, isn’t the real issue here the lack of respect I have shown for the beautiful, wonderful women of Haiti, with or without Haitian AIDS? Isn’t that what you really want to talk about? How the noble women of Haiti are being maligned?

                    14. Note alphalfa, that he’s not apologizing; he’s saying that you in fact have the problem, not him. It’s classic dark triad sociopathic behavior. Better not to engage.

                    15. Not a shred of decency in him. You know the kind of comments he made. The AIDS jokes, racism towards Blacks and hostility towards LGBTs. I can believe the mods on this side tolerate this person.

                    16. The comments section is a free-for-all. If you can’t stand the heat, might I suggest that you make your own site where you can moderate the comments or delete your account? 😉

                    17. You got nothing on me, cheese. You can yell “Kersey” at every new poster who walks in the door, but I’m the one who broke him in record time.

                    18. Morning Cynic! Were you able to look at my forum registration? The email address I have in there currently is correct, but it keeps demanding I verify it. Won’t send the verification email, though.

                    19. That bastard Kersey pretends to be one of the little rascals. Is there no depths he will sink to.

                    20. All I really know about him is that he’s divorced. Well, I’m unjustly divorced too — and I’ve managed to keep my decency, even towards people I disagree with.

                    21. “happiness is a cookie or a cigarette or a 5 second orgasm. You eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, you cum and then you go back to fucking work”

                    22. Like him or hate him, the child therapy = a beating and mowing the lawn was spot on.
                      Kid is crying while mowing the lawn and the neighbor says “boy the leary kid must be in therapy again. their lawn looks great”

                    23. wait wait wait….i call other people fags constantly. Pretty much anything anyone does, if i approve or not, is likely to be met with fag.
                      Trip and fall? Fag.
                      Miss a free throw? Fag
                      Cry at your fathers funeral? fag.

                    24. Easiest thing in the world. And get an intelligent man who wants to go do a mass murder spree and you’re basically fucked no matter what “security measures” you put in place. You just have to wait the guy out and hope he gets bored and turns himself in, 9 times out of 10.

                    25. Indeed. It is entirely due to the good nature of the majority of the population that this haven’t descended into a post apocalyptic nightmare. The recent events I hear about in the news only prove all too well how easy it is to go on a killing spree.

                    26. I can’t remember which one, but one of the super major serial killers was a bonafide smart guy and ended up walking into the police station, sitting down and surrendering, because he was, I assume, bored.

              2. I’ve started to sacrifice the illusion of manna for actual hamburgers, and it’s been working out just fine. I’m no longer hungry after eating lunch.

              3. I think part of your hang up on this particular quote is the culture gap between us and Franklin. Back in his time, men were indeed much freer. There wasn’t all the bureaucratic red-tape that we face day in and day out. Taxes were nominal to nonexistent. If you wanted to go into your backyard and start a fire, fire a gun, whatever, you were free to do so.
                Nowadays, we have a level of cynicism because the government intrudes into every little thing in our lives. Everything’s taxed. Everything’s regulated. Everything’s politicized.
                Are there caveats to his quote? Sure. For example, we need a military to help keep our nation secure, which costs us some of our freedom in the form of tax dollars, but overall, I think his quote is a good sentiment to have.
                Let’s take the First Amendment for example. What if a political group began saying how they wanted to SEVERELY limit the First Amendment in an attempt to reduce terrorism? Should we sacrifice large chunks of our primary right in the small attempt to be a bit more secure?
                What about doing the same for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th Amendments as well?

                1. you could be right. I’ve only lived in my time, not in franklins. I would guess you are wrong, but I also guess that dogs think about lassie all the time and can’t prove that either. As for the bill of rights, add it to the 5th

              4. When I was studying politics, I interpreted that quote as if he was talking about modern socialists who sacrifice all personal rights so that the state can baby them. When, in reality, they will just be giving up free choice for an overbearing government.

                  1. Classical liberals (i.e. the fist-clenched freedom lovers that populate this place) should hate Hobbes. His legalistic position on the awfulness of human nature actually supports the need for a large nanny state.

                    1. Or, supports the need for a society with a strong notion of individual rights and self defense enshrined in the culture.

                      See how that works?

                      Hobbes was an idiot. Mass graves across Europe and Russia and China show the true exercise of his thoughts writ into reality.

                    2. nanny state schmanny state. Divine right of kings is the way to go. Letting people have any actual say in things would be disastrous and letting them thing they do is annoying.

                    1. so much depth to that strip. he chose Calvin and Hobbes as the names of the cartoons for a reason. outta my element.

            1. So tell us, oh chubby one, then why are you opening up communication channels with South Korea after Trump tweeted some mean words at you?

              1. First of all I am not chubby that is pure muscle. Second I am mearly giving South Korea another chance to become a part of my empire err I mean democratic republic.

                  1. im pretty sure you are safe. He could blow them up over Antarctica and the general effect would be the same as hitting the american mid west. Wouldn’t even make front page of the post. It would be buried under celebrity gossip and Weird But True column. Then again, he is a mad man so you never know.

                    1. I, for one, am looking forward to a Mad Max future. My slaves will get my damn breakfast sammich correct or there will be serious consequences.

                    2. In a world without a Midwest, in other words, without a food supply, Mad Max will arrive in short order.

                    3. i really don’t care about the issue, i am just curious if there is actually like a big nuclear button on a desk that you can press and, if so, do you say “big explosion, no whammy, big explosion, no whammy” when you do it

                    4. I hope to god there is a giant red button, and its really yuge, and the word “nuclear” is misspelled across it. Because that would be awesome.

                    5. Aaaaand NK opens negotiations with the South again….
                      He just shitposted lil Kim into submissions.

                    6. Yep. Of course no credit will be given, because Trump is Literally Hitler, despite being the only leader of a major power defending Israel.

                    7. Tbh it’s sad nobody noticed the pattern sooner. NK’s regime has literally made a living off of throwing tantrums and having western leaders appease them over public opinion. Suddenly Trump happens and they can’t play that game anymore.

                    8. Oh they notice it, they just ignore it, just like they were soft on the USSR back in the day and how they give China a pass on atrocities. If you’re left wing, you can do no wrong according to the MSM.

  2. “Change, despite scenario (health, finance, etc) needs to come from internal desire/determination, not external events like the calendar changing.”

    This is a very important sentence. Good article.

    1. Thanks! Its the truth. People are always looking to some external force (another person, motivation, some event) for them to get them “in the mood” to change. You’ll never be in the mood to change, the time to initiate change is right now if you’re serious, if you dont, you’re not serious about it.

  3. Well done.
    Glad to see discipline near the top of the list. All the good intentions in the world don’t amount to dik without action and rigor. Or, as someone smarter than me once said: “Great Ideas don’t work unless YOU do!”

  4. My New Years Resolution is- no more resolutions that I’m not going to stick with.

  5. I love your point on Failure!
    “People are too afraid of failing these days, but when you fail, it sets a new benchmark.”
    In his oft quoted Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy, Douglas Adams nails it just right:

    There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning
    how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Pick a nice day, [The Hitchhiker’s
    Guide to the Galaxy] suggests, and try it. The first part is easy. All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself
    forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it’s going to hurt.

  6. Not so much resolutions, as goals for the year.

    Every year I take two months off of all drinking, and eat super clean to the point of it being mind numbingly boring, and ramp up my gym time such that I practically live there when not at work. This is nearly a 20 year tradition and I am doing the same this year, just like last year, just like the one before etc. I may tack another month on the end of it “just because” with one cheat day of St. Paddies Day thrown in, but otherwise ideally, 3 months. In theory.

    Paying off my sports buggy here in a few weeks, which will net me almost a full mortgage payment back into my budget.

    I will soon only have *one* residence payment to handle, which is another great net into the ol’ cash flow.

    Going to either Sturgis or Daytona this year, haven’t decided.

    And finally I’m going to put some serious research into what it would take to open a bar. Might not happen in 2018 but I’d like to get the groundwork in place and the ball rolling on this and get out from under the thumb of Dull Gray Corporate World once and for all.

      1. Just out enjoying life. Outside of work hours I’m ghosting on the interwebs. Not a resolution, just something I think needs to be done to live a healthy life. And work time I’m also cutting back too, but we’ll see how that works out.

        1. I used to read a lot of your comments on ROK. You were one the best commenters there. I’m certain a man of your experience will have a lot of wisdom to share, so I wish you don’t totally ghost out. 🙂

    1. I had 2 glasses of Sazerac whiskey poured over an ice ball Sat night. I really do not care if alcohol, reduces T, adds a little more weight, and fucks up my brain. I slept like a baby and I still woke up with a hard on.

    2. “Get out from under the thumb of Dull Gray Corporate World once and for all.” – All the Best, Brother! May you Reap the Rewards!

    3. I’ve been told that it’s far easier to open a bar in Panama than in the U.S. Make of that what you will.

      Also, don’t serve food; it just complicates the business. Just open bottles and pour liquids into glasses. Monkeys can do it.

      1. Unfortunately by Ohio law you have to server *something* edible. The closest I can manage is to have a rack of potato chips, which I believe is the normal work around here.

        Yeah, there are hurdles to be certain. I was looking at buying a bar a few years ago but the guy wanted *way* more money than the license and equipment combined was worth so I took a pass. 6 months later he sells it for half his ask, without telling me before doing it, which was a price I would have bought it for. Pissed me off.

        I’ve bartended (regular bar) and also semi-managed a bar before (for my grandfather’s bar) and have some inkling of what’s going on, but I don’t want to jump in before I’m certain. Too close to my early retirement date to risk the nest egg on a dream based on a guess.

          1. It might, I honestly don’t know. Every bar without food has that potato chip rack in it that nobody buys from. Would peanuts work? Maybe. Need to check. The rack seems easier, less chance of folks eating them.

            1. Don’t you want people eating salty snacks in your bar? That increases the likelihood that they will buy more drinks by 58.7%. At least, that’s what my good friend john Tapper says on every other episode of Bar Rescue.

                1. Bar Rescue is a great show to watch if you are trying to avoid going to bars. Seems like pretty much every bar is so dirty and filthy that you would never want to go there again.

                  1. Keep in mind that they’re only going to show you the worst, hence the word “Rescue”. The place I worked for in Dublin, Ohio was spotless, and my grandfather ran a tight ship sanitation wise as well.

              1. It wouldn’t bother me. Food service is something I’d prefer to avoid though, it is a lot more overhead. Where they net people into bars here is with entertainment, live music, things like trivia night and different niche type activities (line dancing, biker gatherins, etc).

                1. If you ever get your plans off the ground, my old man runs a bar poker tournament company in several states. It makes bank for the dealers, the bar, and the waitresses and he’s looking to expand northward this year.

              1. Two lowlifes from my college got a quarter million dollar municipal grant, rented out a spot downtown, and brew their stuff around the clock. Their stuff isn’t great, but they’ll make 6 digits every year for the rest of their lives.

          2. Dude, booser peanuts bowls are there for semi drunk people to ruffle their fingers through after coming from the shitter.

        1. Serve MREs
          Good for the military – Good for the department of health/state lquor authority
          Im in the same path – again

    4. Sturgis is a good time. Back in ’15 I hooked up with a Beer Goddess, a petite latina, at the cage fight event. We couldn’t find a room because they’re way too expensive. So we did it in my car. The bikers cheered us on and gave us thumbs up as they rode by. Zero fucks given.

  7. I have a resolution for the French- NO MORE BURNING CARS ON NY’S EVE. over 1000 torched. even detroiters dont do this

      1. the “youths” in certain culturally enriched areas do this, and its not for the insurance. they do it randomly

          1. they will torch your car. and your neighbor’s…and your nieghbor’s neighbor

    1. First, let’s get their women to start shaving their disgusting hairy armpits. Then we’ll move on to the tough stuff like not burning cars and not surrendering every 5 minutes.

  8. I’m not yet rich and famous, so everything I’ve done can be viewed as a failure. But I’ve gotten really good at what I do. Therefore, I’ve failed **upwards**.

    I love failure.

    1. You’re only failing if your only two goals were to be rich and famous though, right?

    2. I used to be able to read and value your non-political comments on their own basis, but you have gotten so obsessed with your anti-Trump/Russia hysteria that its like you have some kind of mental problem. I’ve really lost any respect I used to have for you. You have zero perspective on the issue, and you can’t even see what a hypocrite you are about it. When someone is so utterly blind on one topic, and obsessed with his blindness, its easy to believe they have deluded themselves on other topics as well, which makes all of their opinions suspect. Plus, you have really gotten to be a yuge sanctimonious twat about it.

            1. I don’t have as much hate for 2 and 3 as most of the public, but one was just disastrous.

              I haven’t watched any of the new ones.

              EDIT: Hold me like you did by the lake on Naboo is still one of the most dreadful lines ever in a movie.

              1. Episode 3 was the most quotable of the prequels probably the most quotable of the franchise. It had just enough cheese without being to cringe worthy

                1. any movie that involves an hour of watching a 7 year old build and race a hovercraft is terrible. For all the bad in 6 at least anakin killed the brats in over in the hebrew school

                  1. If I’m involved for over an hour in building a hovercraft, I better be the one driving the fukkin thing!

              2. What always struck me funny about the prequels was that Natalie Portman is a good actress, but she turned in the absolute worst performance I have ever seen. I mean the Hayden Christensen guy is a terrible actor all around, and most of the other actors are pretty bad. Samuel Jackson was just playing Samuel Jackson, as usual for instance.

                But Natalie Portman just looked at the garbage she had to work with and said “fuck this shit, I’m just cashing the check” and didn’t even try to do anything with it.

                1. it was the smart move. Portman was always smarter.,

                  Meanwhile, I think her with pregnant glow face was what first got me to notice pregnant women as more than just constipated sacks waiting to shit out another kid the world doesn’t fucking need.

                  Hottest Portman Role: The Professional

                  1. “Hottest Portman Role: The Professional”

                    I agree with this, even if it means the Feds will tap my hard drive.

                    1. nope, it was “Closer”….her, julia roberts, clive warren…a cynical movie about the male/female dynamic when it was ok to be non-PC

                2. To be fair it would be almost impossible to make that horrible script sound good. They had to do the best they can

                  1. No, Hayden Christensen has proven himself to be a terrible actor in several other things, and the closet thing range Samuel Jackson has to acting range is “profanity on” and “profanity off”.

                    1. Samuel l Jackson must be will Smith’s long lost father. They both play themselves in all of their movies

          1. The prequels are memeworthy as a movie could possibly be.
            That’s about all they’re good for….

      1. Why can’t you be like GOJ and Jammy? They bitch at each other all day and then manage to be totally civil in another thread. Like two dementia-riddled old ladies that hated each other in high school.

        1. It has something to do with the fact that his sandy vadge has taken over as his personality.

  9. I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to all of you if I have ever said any mean words on the internet that have hurt your feelings. I never meant to hurt anyone. I was just working through many of my own issues, dealing with some really tough emotional pain, and I really let it get to me. And in these dark emotional times, I think I may have taken my anger and pain out of all of you. And that just wasn’t fair of me.

    I really, truly, sincerely apologize. I’m going to do my best this year to make it up to each and every one of you. Each mean word I have said, each precious little feeling I have hurt… I’m going to do everything in my power to make it all better.

    I’m turning over a new leaf. I make a new resolution… to be kinder, gentler, and more loving. To really be more positive and encouraging. To help you all, to be there for you in you times of trouble and hardship, to lift you up with my positive and enlightening comments from now on.

    I’m truly sorry for having hurt or offended any of you. Deep down inside, I love you all. xoxo.

    1. I’d also like to add that I have finally seen the light and totally changed my opinion on that darned scoundrel Mr. Donald Trump. He is a bad man, and the good guys are going to get him.

      I agree fully with Steve Bannon, who just came out and said that this is “all about money laundering. Mueller chose Weissmann first and he is a money-laundering guy. Their path to f—ing Trump goes right through Paul Manafort, Don Jr and Jared Kushner … It’s as plain as a hair on your face.” He also said the Don Jr meeting with the Russian lawyer was treasonous and unpatriotic.

              1. I heard the only straight Kid was dave foley. and yhey would still be crucified for this

      1. You must be mistaken, my friend. I was never banned from RoK. But I did see all the pain and suffering inflicted on my good friends by their bans, so I followed them to AKC in the hopes that I could cheer them up.

        1. That’s right. I remember now, it was in the aftermath of the mass banning, when the comment policy was rolled out. You were only threatened with a ban.

                  1. yes it is sad it has gone down that road, ever since Disqus pulled the plug on there it has just been a hate fest, the odd older original poster like BlueEyedDevil & NativeBalkian still post, its unfortunate their good comments get lost in the sea of trolls just posting race baiting rubbish.

                    one poster and writer i really miss from there is A.V. Yader, his stuff was great, i wonder what he thinks of the direction of ROK?

                1. Guys like us are Hugh Hefners compared to those Indian callers . I thought I was clueless about women !

          1. Dude, this isn’t even an original shtick. The potato thing has been done. Shit, at least be a carrot or a fucking tomato or something.

                1. Those potatoes are connected in series not parallel .You don’t need amps from a potato you need voltage !!!

            1. I always thought the Matrix would have been a whole lot better if Trinity’s tits had popped out of that vinyl jumpsuit a few times.

        1. Nah. We have an understanding now. I have strict assurance that as time goes by and their position becomes stronger they will not attempt any individual vendetta
          Oddly my eldest cat is still afraid of them though.

          1. but you have selfish reasons. You have to get your youngest cat home, cleared of all this lasagna eating nonsense. And you are a superstitious man. If he should get put down by a vet, or suffocate in a plastic bag, or struck by a bolt of lightening you are going to blame some of the geese in the ozarks and that you do not forgive!

            (possibly the most unlikely statement ever)

      1. Im still kicking myself for not buying the timeshares he was hawking on tv located in the Ozarks(really)

    1. Hollywood ran out of original ideas back in 1992 when they put Joe Pesci in Lethal Weapon 3. That was it. The absolutely last original idea to come out of Hollywood.

      1. Not even children’s games are safe now. I wouldn’t be surprised if a ring around the rosey horror movie comes out. Or a duck duck goose

          1. bem, is there something you’d like to tell us about your childhood? Something that will explain exactly everything about who you are as a person? Something that involves a goose, perhaps?

              1. did you have twinkles with the cellophane wrappers like the white folks?

                (btw to this day I believe that to be the best opening line to any movie)

            1. Another example of Hollywood ruining something completely awesome. So much great GI Joe material and characters, and still they have to make up a bunch of shit that doesn’t make sense, ignore the source material and make new shitty characters.

  10. OT: In the weird news of the hysterically ironic, firefighters have responded to a fire in the coldest place on earth — Bill and Hillary’s bedroom….

    Firefighters Respond to Fire at Bill and Hillary Clinton’s Chappaqua Home

    “Police have not given further details, but police scanner reports say it was a bedroom fire and has been extinguished, local New York outlet reports”

  11. mine is to make it big or get out of here – NYC
    just returned from 5 countries. so clean, polite, tight, honorable, happy.
    Upon returning to NYC just disgusted by the, er,ah, lepers?
    yea -Seinfeld had it right – “the DMV is like a Leper colony”
    Seriously, the Whole Foods – bastion of quality and healthy eating had homeless people chowing down direct from the buffet…
    After one night in Bangkok was just too much….
    the lepers have left the DMV and taken over the entire island

    1. “After one night in Bangkok was just too much….”

      Sounds like a movie I saw once.
      Mike Tyson was in it.

    2. The homeless are becoming a real problem. I had to yell at 2 already this week. This is our faggot mayor’s policy of making sure businesses suffer but the homeless are taken care of. The only positive thing you can say about this doofus is that he is always on point with snow removal, but that is just part of his over all theme of removing white things from the city.

      It’s ok though, I have seen numerous mayoral administrations come and go. Another term of this dickweed and we will wind up with a reactionary mayor who is somewhere between Giuliani and Mussolini on the spectrum of keeping the peace and once again the homeless will be rounded up and put wherever Rudy and Bloomberg used to put them…or possibly herded into gramercy park so people with keys can hunt them for sport.

      As for the DMV, I don’t know what you are talking about. I haven’t had a bad DMV experience in decades. I mean, granted, it isn’t as fun as a Martini at Bemelman’s, but in terms of the horror stories you hear about the DMV they actually run fairly smooth


        I haven’t been for so long – I reckon is internet based these days.
        I tell you though – the people at the immigration/customs at the countries I just visited so polite nice etc… here – leper colony – -obese, low IQ – rude…

        “Giuliani and Mussolini ” — I vote for Donald Trump Junior for Emperor

  12. There’s an old saying I heard once. It goes something like “Focus on results, you’ll never get change…focus on change, results will follow.”

    Way too many people make resolutions focused on the results, ie “I want to lose 10 pounds”.

    Focusing on results makes people frustrated. I’ve been eating less and exercising more for a week and I haven’t lost a pound. They’ll give up and say they’ll try next year.

    Focus on eating better. Focus on exercising more. As you do those, you’ll naturally lose whatever weight you need and get in better shape.

    Focus on making the changes and making those part of your life rather than some temporary sacrifice to achieve an arbitrary milestone, and you’ll end up with the results you were after all along.

    1. I think this is spot on with the one exception for people already at a high level who are looking to compete and need to make very specific goals like weight classes or particular muscle gains. Other than that, what you say is advice beyond reproach,

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