Open Thread: Deathstorm 2018 Edition

Blizzard hitting the North Eastern US today has given me a day off.  I’m home with the kids today, dropped the wife off at work.  What are some things you guys do when it’s just dad and the kids?  What fun activities?  We’re going sledding later.  Drop a comment!

 

 

Author: Jnyx

J. Nyx is a father of three and co-owner of akingscastle.com. He understands that there is something missing in the community and that you can be a traditional, masculine man in our current age as well as a dedicated leader of your family.

  • bem
    • Jak

      Also, if you’re in the South, be sure to buy all the milk and bread in the grocery store.

      • That’s actually not a bad idea, since nobody in the deep south knows how to drive in the snow. Atlanta grinds to a halt whenever there’s a dusting of snow, and considering how bad they drive normally snow must make it impossible for them to drive.

        • Jak

          Sadly, it’s true. When snow hits down here, everyone loses their shit.

          • bem

            What’s New Jersey’s excuse?

            • dckhead_con_artist

              they rush out to buy AXE hair gel

              • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                choosy nj guidos choose Dep hair care products

            • Boothe

              Joisey don’t need no excuse, they’re Joisey after all…

              • bem

                hey I’m drivin heeeeeah!

            • Murdoc34

              Just get over to the right and don’t worry about it.

              • bem

                yeah it took me years to realize that “left lane for passing only” bit wasn’t a joke.

            • Chip Baskets

              For existing?

          • Jim Johnson

            That right there is a very good reason to go wheeling in the mud or ice with your boys when they get to be around 14 or so. They can pick up so much by just getting the feel for how to drive if the tires are not fully engaged.

      • bem

        whats with that?!?!? every time there’s a hint of snow, people develop LactoMania and rush out to buy milk!

        • Jak

          At this point, I think it’s more tradition than anything else. Like putting up a Christmas tree or carving a jack-o-lantern. Snow hits, buy all the milk and bread. Why milk and bread and not something like tequila and burritos? No clue.

          • bem

            French Toast? But I’m with you – I’d rather stay in and fuk up a batch of tacos.

            • Obnoxious Troll

              nope. milquetoast

          • Obnoxious Troll

            milk drinker

            • Stoic Nihilist

              Or the correct term is closet homosexuals

          • buttermilk is the way to go. You can make pancakes AND soak some fried chicken for later.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            Some good hootch is normally what I go for, and whatever food I may be real low on in the pantry. That said, the time to buy your food and supplies is before there is even a threat of a storm (of any kind). Why people don’t understand this is anybody’s guess. If you have to rush to buy staple items for a storm, you’re doing it wrong, and are scheduling yourself to be first on the extinction list if a truly bad disaster happens.

      • cheeseburgercheeseburger
        • Obnoxious Troll
          • bem
            • cheeseburgercheeseburger

              Brenda’s got a big ol butt

              • bem

                (o YEAH!!!!!)

            • Obnoxious Troll

              WB the blonde

            • Ainigmaris Thales

              UR GAY

              • bem

                If I wur gay would I not LIKE the butt?

                • Ainigmaris Thales

                  Ur gay because you noticed the butt.

                  • bem

                    damn u…….

            • dckhead_con_artist

              I’d sodomize that nose

              • Ainigmaris Thales

                Damn, you must be Asian. Poor bastard.

                • dckhead_con_artist

                  thanks, I’ll take your job now…

                  • Ainigmaris Thales

                    Fine, but I’m not training you to do it.

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      I’ve already photocopied the manual.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      There is no manual for this.

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      Come on, how hard is it to be a deity yoga blogger?

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Yeah, you think its easy now… come talk to me when your chakra is tied up into knots by a ddos attack.

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      while channeling the inner feminine side during Yidams.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      See, you blew it already. I have no inner feminine side. Which is why Kersey and the other snowflakes always think I’m so “hostile” and “mean” lol.

                    • bem

                      The rest of us still think you’re a homo.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      You wish I was a homo, fag.

                    • bem

                      You WISH I wished you were a homo fag, fag!

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      You wish that I wished that you wished that you was I and a queer fag homo fag fag faggity fag fag.

                    • bem

                      I know you are but what am I?!?!?

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Rubber, ur glue — booyah! THIRD GRADE ROOLS BITCH

                    • bem

                      “Rubber, ur glue — booyah! THIRD GRADE ROOLS BITCH”
                      (repeated in simpering, mocking voice….)

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Whoa-whoa-WHOA! Watch it there, man…. I almost got PTSD from you saying all those mean words on the internet. Now I have to go get my emotional support teddy bear and cry myself to sleep.

                    • bem

                      Proceed.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Okay, I’m good. I went to my safe space and colored in my adult coloring book, and I really feel like I worked through all those negative emotions. I visualized them passing over me like storm clouds over a calm blue sea. Very invigorating.

                    • bem

                      Nice. Now snap out of it, chug some black coffee, fuk a teenage girl and kick a kid in the face!

                    • Jak

                      Going to add a caveat to your sentence: “A teenage girl of legal age.”
                      Last thing we need is another Social Kersey Warrior accusing us of promoting sex with minors.

                    • dckhead_con_artist
                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      same thing but more of it!

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      has anyone truly made the distinction between fag and homo? Even the gays are perplexed.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      The gays get everything backwards.

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      especially when crossing swords or sharing colas.

                    • bem

                      In my usage, “fag” has nothing to do with one being a homosexual.

                    • dckhead_con_artist
                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      that’s why I hate apologies. People hate a guy for being “dark triad” then when he goes “soft” (no pun intended Obnoxious Troll) everyone then gets bored.

            • Honey Badger

              Now that you’ve mentioned that, her ass-nose is all I can see. That’s why the good lord invented paper bags though.

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            WB

      • Murdoc34

        Gonna want some shitter paper to go along with that.

        • Jak

          That’s optional.

      • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

        That’s weird. During hurricanes aren’t the big goto items bleach, boards and water? At least some of that makes sense, or at least, more sense than milk during a snowstorm.

      • Boothe

        Don’t forget toilet paper.

  • That’s good you spend time with your family JNyx. Because a man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never truly be a man.

    • Iattacku

      Wb fitness what are your plans for the winter wonderland

      • I went to the gym this morning and I am at work now.

        • Iattacku

          Overachiever just like a New Yorker

  • dckhead_con_artist
  • Jim Johnson

    Teach them how to play poker.

    • dckhead_con_artist

      play poke-her?

      • Jim Johnson

        not your kids, you go to jail for that

        • dckhead_con_artist

          Step Kids…not an issue, if she’s over 16.

          • Jim Johnson

            still….bad idea

            • dckhead_con_artist

              babysitter?

              • Jim Johnson

                that’s do-able

          • I saw a documentary about this online. From what I can tell, the step daughter will not only put up the slightest of token resistance but quickly get into it and be very talented despite claims to never have done it before

            • Stoic Nihilist

              Gotta love those 12-17 minute documentaries

              • informative. The part that gets me about the ones revolving around step daughters is how eager mothers seem to join when they catch them.

                • Stoic Nihilist

                  “I can do better.. I showed my daughter all she knows”

                  • production values were crap, but it truly was informative

                    • bem

                      By the way, I admire their pictures very much.

            • dckhead_con_artist

              I’ve messed around with 2 single moms in my life (longer than the standard pump & dump) and the only reason I stuck around was to seduce the daughter. Neither case worked out but I tried.

              • Ainigmaris Thales

                Dated this chick once and then started banging her little sister. The mom realized what was going on and told me we needed to talk. She started giving me shit for messing with both of her daughters, but then the conversation got really weird. I was still too blue pill to realize what was going on, but later I became convinced she was giving me a shot at the trifecta, but I missed it.

                • dckhead_con_artist

                  Once I took the 40 year old mommy and 19 year old daughter to Six Flags in August. I was comforting the daughter on the scary rides all day while putting my hand on her bare shoulder. I would have gone for the knee but I was trying to be discreet about my intentions. She would hug me frequently but it never got passed a innocent hug and kiss phase.

            • dckhead_con_artist

              From what I’ve read the step-daughter gets jealous of the mom; the mom, getting more attention, and more male $$$.

            • B1k3_Ch41N

              “Documentary”! Bro we call that the semi weird part of pornhub!

              • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                never ever been there. probably on a list as a result, but whatevs

  • Stoic Nihilist

    You’re basically a stay at home dad bro.
    What kind of man has his wife go to work while you stay at home with the kids? So much potato in you.

    • Obnoxious Troll

      the kind of man who has nothing better to do that post long ass comments all day

      • Hey, I have nothing better to do and I don’t even have kids.

        Also, as unreconstructed will tell you, I don’t even have a garage you can call home and ask my wife!

        • Boothe

          And furthermore you don’t have green teeth, you’ve never worked undercover for the FBI and you’ve never even been to a Klan rally, much less infiltrated them! Sheesh! What some people come up with around here…

          • I do believe that to this day it still tickles @unreconstructedconfederate that I know this song and appreciate it.

    • bem
    • Hey I’ll take a day at home. I had to pick her up early anyway

  • bem
  • Sir Lee

    they should know how to shoot in all conditions – get out there

    • Boothe

      Hear, hear! If you don’t train with a little adversity from time to time, how will you respond in a real life situation under less than ideal conditions? But I tend to agree with GoJ, small children don’t need to be in the middle of that.

      • Sir Lee

        yea – meant more as metaphor for any activities — the systems of gloves, and other cold weather layering systems cannot but theorized – must be used in real world…
        and sometimes with gloves etc can be very difficult with small children…
        practice in real world ( and limited frequency situations ) is essential…
        as far as shooting — tongue in cheek — especially in in NY.

  • cheeseburgercheeseburger

    the wind chill is gonna be -10 on fri and sat- should I even attempt to warm up my car or should I wait until the temp is above zero?

    • bem

      Dont let it sit too many days – If you don’t need it daily, go start it up and leave it running while you unbury it, even if you dont go anywhere

    • Start the car and with absolutely no waiting rev the engine as high as it will go, pop the clutch and take off.

      • bem
        • I can’t believe that queer Broderick had that ’61 250 GT retrofitted with a manual transmission so he could drive it. I will never, ever get over being pissed about that.

          • bem

            you mean automatic? Yeah he may as well have donated his sack to science after that move…

            • yes, edited. I couldn’t even TYPE it. It is like some part of my brain just refuses. I mean, it would have been bad enough if he did it with whichever model ferrari had come out that year, but to do it to not one BUT FUCKING 2 1961 250 GT’s was a fucking tragedy. I think i doubled over like Yoda when order 66 was executed (yeah, this is me tacitly allowing your prequel argument. Use of the prequels will be allowed, but controlled. Episode one will never be used and there will be the peace)

          • John Galt

            John Hughes took some flack for that from a lot of car Lovers after that movie. I was actually shocked when it came out that Broderick married horse-face. Principal Rooney was into boys though.

            • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

              Seems like Hollywood is truly the cesspit of evil. I think this is about more than Hollywood and believe that this kind of insanity has been prevalent forever in thespian/actor types (not all of them but it does seem to be a pretty common trait). There’s a reason I believe why actors in days of yore were considered to be the lowest of the low of humanity, and I’m betting this kind of crap has a lot to do with it.

              • Ainigmaris Thales

                This Star Wars thing is a lot bigger deal than people think, if you look at it from a Joseph Campbell level. The new Star Wars movies are literally about destroying the ancient wisdom and mythos of humankind that got us to this point, and rewriting the future as some feminist fairy tale.

                It seems meaningless because its just a movie, but it is an active attempt to rewrite our subconscious mythos, our understanding of basic truth and morality.

                No longer is the ancient tale one of a young boy who learns from an ancient master (gathering collective wisdom), and gathering a group of like-minded friends (community) then going on a quest through difficult struggles (maturing through hardship) to slay the dragon (good defeating evil) and save the princess (perpetuating the species).

                Now the story is becoming the girl is born better than everyone around her, her instinctive knowledge (hamstering) being far more wise and insightful than even her elders. She needs no training or education, nor does she need any moral guide. She just acts on her feels and just by being herself (moral relativism) and overcoming the people trying to make her obey the rules, she saves the universe alone.

                • bem

                  Don’t forget the triumph of ill-communicated, blue-haired female primacy over assertive, action-based male problem-solving.

                • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                  thats a helluva breakdown. was the script written by a woman?

                  • Ainigmaris Thales

                    These days, it doesn’t need to be. But I bet whoever wrote it has sucked at least one cock.

                    • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                      sucked at least one light sabre you mean

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      No, I don’t mean “light sabre” because I’m not gay. Or British.

                  • Ainigmaris Thales

                    Saw this part of a review about how feminism ruined the Last Jedi:

                    Rey, on the other hand, never encounters failure. In “The Last Jedi,” instead of being instructed by a wise sage, Luke, in the tradition of the mythic hero, it is she who teaches him. Luke is thus deprived of the opportunity to pass from the warrior-hero into the mentor-teacher. At the end he is still impetuous, still myopic, still being lectured by Yoda. But Rey—she’s perfect. As Yoda tells Luke as the last Jedi archive burns, there is nothing in “those books that the girl does not already possess. In other words, she does not need the lessons of the past or a mentor to guide her. She already knows because she’s empowered. You go, girl! But beyond her inauthenticity as a masculine hero, Rey’s perfection and her cross-dressing deprive the film of another crucial element: a romance.

                    There are no princesses to rescue in the new “Star Wars.” There is no need for the traditional heroic story of the triumph of good over evil ending in love and children. It is in romance that the masculine and feminine hero journeys unify, resulting in new life. By making Rey a female character in a male role, the movie reveals its own contempt for life-giving femininity and its symbiotic relationship to strong masculinity.

                    • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                      Yoda uttered those words?!!?! guess I dont need to watch it. also heard Luke is portrayed as a coward/pussy

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      I don’t know, I haven’t seen it. I could tell from the Force Awakens where they were going with it, though.

                    • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                      I had a good laff when Han’s son took off his mask looking like Ross from Friends with long hair. no wonder the girl kicked his ass at the end.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Yep, even the bad guy was feminized. A whiny little limp-wristed brat who isn’t evil, just angst-ridden, and who acts out by killing his father — the original trilogy’s ultimate symbol of male virility.

                    • bem

                      Because no one’s “bad” based on their actions, they’re just misunderstood ‘victims’ or toxic masculinity!

                    • Iattacku

                      Oh god that was the moment I stopped taking Kylo ren seriously. He should have never took his mask off

                    • Jak

                      The storywriting for the new trilogy is amateurish at best. They’re taking the major plot points and reveals that took 2 movies or the entire trilogy to get to in the original SW and putting them all in a single movie.
                      When did we finally see Darth Vader’s face? At the very end of the trilogy.
                      When do we see Kylo Ren’s? About halfway through the first. Way to remove the mystique of the character.

                    • bem

                      worse – more like a resigned emasculated, eunuch.
                      A real Hollywood finochio.

                    • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                      hamill slammed the way luke was portrayed, but he still took the giant bag of cash

                    • bem

                      after all, we are not communists!

                    • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                      dudes had no career for 35 yrs. signing autographs at ComicCon for aging geeks who smell like nachos. Id take the bag of cash too

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Actually, he was pretty successful doing voice-over work in cartoons.

                    • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                      I’ll work you over you cartoon

                    • bem

                      Thing about Khartoon(s) is not to lose your head over it.

                    • I bet a Russian Czar never paid that kind of dough

                    • The Joker in the Arkham game series, too

                    • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

                      Some things are more important than money. I say this as a hard core capitalist type. If I’m offered a billion dollars to make the world unlivable and/or torture for my children and grandchildren, then I’m going to decline.

                    • Obnoxious Troll

                      holy shit! i didn’t watch the film and now i’m glad i didn’t

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      No breaking kayfabe, fibbie.

                    • Obnoxious Troll

                      did dikhead teach you those words during your private time?

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Try harder, try-hard.

                    • Obnoxious Troll

                      i know you are but what am i

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Weak sauce with a side of green lame.

                    • Obnoxious Troll

                      gay

                • UWOTM8

                  Pretty much, heard they made her parents deadbeats. So she’s not special in any way and just kind of showed up. So being a nobody is now better than being from a lineage of powerful force-users.
                  Also, all men are useless and admirals are pink-haired spinsters. Not grizzled veterans.

              • John Galt

                When someone says “I’m an actor” I just equate that as admission of being a prostitute.

            • Rooney being into boys was no shock, but yeah…horse face? Before Broderick turned into one of the golden girls he could have had his pick of crappy washed up actresses.

      • Jak

        My standard morning routine.

    • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

      Wind Chill != real temperature. If you have a reason to, then sure. Otherwise, I’d let it sit unless you haven’t started it in a while. I’m currently tending to my two dormant summer vehicles in such a manner, and I really need to get my ass in gear and just remove that motorcycle battery and put it on a charge tender instead of constantly being outside starting the bike when the temps drop, but have been forgetting to do so. Sounds like an evening plan for later today actually.

      • cheeseburgercheeseburger

        you have a Battery Tender?
        last time it was this cold, it wouldnt start. 2 days later when it was above 32 degrees, it actually started for me. Was pumped! so youre saying leave it be on fri-sat, then try sun when its warmer? or should I still attempt to start it on these 2 frigid days?

        • Q train runs fine

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger

            thx dick

        • Jak

          Just leave it idling 24/7. That way you KNOW the battery won’t die.

        • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

          It really depends on how cold it is. That’s why I noted that -10 wind chill is not really the temperature, and batteries only care about real temperature, not wind chill. Negative real-temps can do a dozy on a battery. Really it’s your call but until it drops to true negatives, if you’re driving it semi-regularly anyway, I’d not worry too much, assuming the battery was in good condition prior to the cold snap.

          Yes, have a battery tender, for my motorcycle battery. Almost nobody puts theirs on a tender in winter and leave the battery in the bike and most forget to even start the bike more than one or three times in winter, so their battery life rarely exceeds 2-3 years. My bike is a 2005 and I replaced the stock battery in it in 2016. 11 year battery life, because I take it out religiously every winter and put it on the battery tender, in a warm room (basement). Given battery prices and the very little amount of electricity that’s needed for a tender, it’s a great investment.

          • bem

            I keep a fire burning under my engine.

          • Boothe

            I have a battery tender “pigtail” wired directly to the battery in my bikes. When I put them up for the winter in my shop all I have to do is plug the tender up to the bike and I’m good to go. You should also change your oil before winter storage to eliminate acids that form from combustion products.

            • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

              Yep. I have a pig tail on my battery too, however I use it to connect a USB plug that I use for charging my iZombie on the road. Winter time I put the battery inside out of really cold temps. It seems to have helped a whole lot regarding battery longevity.

    • Ainigmaris Thales

      Wind chill is just a bullshit number made up by weathermen to make cold weather more scary so they can make people freak out easier.

      • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

        Well I don’t know if it’s that conspiratorial. A 9 degree day with no wind does in fact chill you way less quickly than a 9 degree day with 20mph winds, when you’re out in it, so there is some merit to it. That they almost only now report “wind chill” and you have to look up real temp, is where it aggravates me, and gives the impression that you just noted.

      • dckhead_con_artist

        Ride a motorcycle in December. you’ll feel it.

        • Ainigmaris Thales

          I didn’t say that the wind doesn’t make you feel colder, I’m just saying that the “wind chill factor” is (at best) a guess without much scientific backing and the way the weather junkies constantly go on and on about the “wind chill factor” is designed to scare people, not inform them.

          • Murdoc34

            […] designed to scare people, not inform them.

            But then, this is true of all media, not just weather reports.

            • Ainigmaris Thales

              Very true. You’d think the weather, though, of all things, would be the least politicized…. but then you’d be wrong.

    • Chip Baskets

      Pour gas all over your car, light the gas, let the car burn.
      Make Smores.
      Duh

      • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

        So….you’re French are you?

        • Chip Baskets

          You take that back!

          • Marius Aetius Lucullus

            didnt realize you were from Detroit Chip?

            • Chip Baskets

              I’m not.
              Thank jeebus

        • Jak

          Dem’s fightin’ werds!

  • cheeseburgercheeseburger

    I think the folks on the Weather Ch get sexually aroused by blizzards. and hurricanes. and tornadoes.

  • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

    As I recall from when my kids were actually not adults and this kind of thing happened:

    1. Snowball fight(s)
    2. Sledding
    3. If way too fucking cold for those, board games or some other kind of multi-person game
    4. Lessons on how to start a proper fire in the fireplace (if applicable to your home)
    5. Somebody mentioned shooting, and while I’m all about that 100%, if it’s -10 out and the kids are young, then you may want to wait until they’re teens for this particular task. 9 year olds in -10 degrees trying to fumble shots, not so good.

    • Jak

      Agreed on #5. You’ll put your eye out.

      • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

        Red Ryder BB’s guns with the compass in the stock stray shots can be stopped by a decent pair of glasses, if you don’t drop them in the snow. A .22LR and higher, not so much.

        • Jak

          How powerful is a .22LR? One of the zombie audiobook series I was listening to was claiming they’re not powerful enough to pierce the skull from any real distance and were strictly close range calibers. I don’t know enough about this topic to make even a SWAG at it.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            Close range it sure can penetrate a skull (I don’t mean point blank, just close range). Long range, probably not unless it got through your ear hole/eye/mouth (would mouth count?).

          • Obnoxious Troll

            if you’re planning on shooting liberals at least pick a weapon and ammunition type that gets the fucking job done.

            • Jak

              Haha, nah. It was just one of those things that they kept bringing up in one of the zombie series I was listening to and it just made me wonder if they knew what they were talking about or were just making stuff up.

              • Boothe

                Within 50 yards a 22 Long Rifle will certainly penetrate a human skull if the shot is made straight on (perpendicular to the target point). An oblique shot can and most likely will be glancing (it will hurt like hell but probably no significant damage).

                The thinnest and most vulnerable area is the center of the face (above the maxilla up to the top of the eye sockets in a triangle), so if the threat is coming directly toward you, that’s the best target point to penetrate into the brain with a rimfire cartridge. Shot placement on a moving threat will be critical and problematic.

                Heavier bullet weights and round nose bullets (vs. light weight hyper velocity hollow points) will penetrate deeper. So for head shots out to 50 yds., I would use a standard velocity round nose lead projectile. The advantage is a lower sound signature which wouldn’t attract more of the undead from greater distances.

                Ideally I would prefer a suppressed AR-15 variant in 5.56 NATO with a good reflex sight and a magnifier for longer range work. I prefer not to let the undead get too close. Infectious splatter concerns me…

            • B1k3_Ch41N

              Ok Pabst calm down dear!

            • Ainigmaris Thales

              Who said anything about shooting “liberals”? How long have you worked for the FBI?

              • Obnoxious Troll

                work on your sense of humor, kid. and since when did the fbi shoot liberals?

                • Ainigmaris Thales

                  Okay, but first work on your infiltration skills, Fed.

                  • Obnoxious Troll

                    i’ll infiltrate YOU!

                    • bem

                      GAY

                    • Obnoxious Troll

                      i’ll make YOU gay

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      how?

                    • Obnoxious Troll
                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      Aliens don’t offer reach arounds; without ’em, I can’t enjoy being gay.

                    • Obnoxious Troll

                      so you admit you got reach arounds from men. GAY

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Only when they pay him enough. He isn’t gay for free.

                    • Obnoxious Troll

                      and you know this how?

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      He watched you pay me; FBI, remember?

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Yeah, plus it’s written on the bathroom wall down at the truck stop.

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      he hit me up on SA and I gay scammed him.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      In my defense, he was pretending to be female and his dick is small enough to sodomize a chick’s nose.

                    • Murdoc34

                      I’ll have to take your word for it.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Why? The truck stop has great biscuits.

                    • Murdoc34

                      Sounds gay.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Biscuits? Biscuits aren’t gay. Biscuits will make you a goddamned heterosexual tyrannosaurus.

                    • bem
                    • That truck stop is perfect for us. A small family truckstop, good food. Everyone minds his
                      business. It’s perfect. @disqus_tj7gjZttfg:disqus they got an old-fashion’ toilet — you know, the box, and – and – and – ah the chain-thing. We might be able to tape the gun behind it.

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      Trannies are starting to charge female hooker prices. Don’t ask me why I looked into this.

                    • Just research, like pete townsend?

                      I can see the tranny market pulling in a premium. Whores are like any other commodity, supply and demand. 55% of the worlds population has a cunt between their legs but how many legit transtesticles are actually out there?

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      in this article, the tranny won gold, but the silver and bronze medalist look more like men than the tranny..quite a mind bender!!

                      https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2017/mar/21/laurel-hubbard-transgender-athlete-crushes-female-/

                    • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                      killin’ it bro!

                    • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                      muffington post would gladly pay you to write this piece. just make sure your conclusion as to why this is happening is because of muh Trump

                    • dckhead_con_artist
                    • Iattacku

                      I blame porn

                    • bem

                      lets not rule out pegging.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      bem, you said you weren’t going to tell us the goose story…

                    • bem

                      I said nothing of the sort.

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      I am sorry you only got bottom treatment from me. I thought you knew.

                    • Obnoxious Troll

                      i am sorry you got the full treatment from everyone else. i didn’t know

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      you feel left out?

                    • Obnoxious Troll

                      not at all. i was busy getting full body massage from a sexy blonde

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      Swedish dudes don’t count

                    • Obnoxious Troll

                      what’s the difference?

                    • Jak

                      One’s feminine. The other’s effeminate.

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      Gay vs Not-Gay

                    • Obnoxious Troll

                      don’t get all technical.

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      as long as you were face down, you didn’t know what the gender was, not your fault.

                    • bem

                      REALLY GAY!!!!

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      He enjoys gay sex, is REALLY gay.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      No thanks!

              • bem

                goddamn FBI dont respect nuthin’.

          • dckhead_con_artist

            the 0.22 may not pack a punch but you can shoot 1000 rounds for less than $20. The Ruger is also a nice looking weapon.

            • bem

              I got one of those 10/22 carbines when I was 14. Some fun, but I haven’t fired it since….In terms of home-defense, I imagine using it as a club.

            • Jim Johnson

              Yup, a must for target practice. Shoot all day for the cost of one magazine of .300 Mag (not nearly as cool though)

          • John Galt

            A 22 LR will penetrate the skull. Pro tip: Use hollow-points. The 25 Auto? Not so much.

            • Murdoc34

              To get a good kill with a .25 ACP you just have to use the proper method. It involves placing the muzzle firmly into the gut of the intended victim, avoiding areas of calloused skin.

          • Stoic Nihilist

            Zombie audio books?
            Whoa… save some pussy for the rest of us.

        • Beartastico

          Try one of those 10 pump “fucking asshole bastard” BB guns that shoot .177 rifled projectiles. Buddy kept shooting me with a CO2 BB gun so I grabbed the “fucking asshole bastard” version. Told him to pick between a hand or his wallet and if he didn’t I’d pick something for him. Went right through every card in the guys wallet.

    • dckhead_con_artist

      Why did Ohio winters seem to be calmer than most of the others? I don’t remember the high winds as much as I remember just lots of snow and ice.

      • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

        High winds aren’t a characteristic that is normal here, although we get our share like anyplace else. Dunno man. This entire area used to be a sea/ocean/huge ass lake (I don’t remember which) so I assume the weather patterns are still set for it’s previous status? Just taking a guess. Probably has more to do with topography though. I really couldn’t say.

        • dckhead_con_artist

          At the UAW shop I worked at, the guys would ride in their motorcycles to work in December and girls would wear shorts.

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            That’s not unheard of, although we do tend to get really freaking cold during winter, and get our share of snow. Me, I’m not a December-February biker, sans the one or two odd days where we get unusually high temps and sun (rare). Fuck that. I have a truck.

            • dckhead_con_artist

              I guess you could drop a bike in the 3 feet deep snow and still get up without a scratch.

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger

            sounds like you worked in an 80s hair metal band video

            • dckhead_con_artist
              • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                that is a still shot from the Cherry Pie video by Warrant, right?

                • dckhead_con_artist

                  an actual pic of the plant I was in 2 years ago. 3 of the 4 are women. They wonder why there’s no blue collar work for men anymore.

                  • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                    absurd.

                  • John Galt

                    They only guys I knew who could land a job at GM or Ford had relatives who had been there for decades. Purely nepotistic. Curious– how many of the women at your plant were single moms?

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      all of second shift were single moms who made $70,000 per year in 1999.

                    • bem

                      WOW. I was pulling like 32k with a professional degree in 99…..

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      1.5X overtime, 2X on Sundays, and 3X on Holidays….Union dues for them were $90 per month

                    • hahaha, wake up on election day morning and you already worked 8 hours. Show up and do an 8 hour shift and there is another 24 hours. That is 36 hours worked on a tuesday.

                      Funny, I know one guy who was so long in the union, three generation, local 1 plumpers/welders, that his brain was wired to see things in union time. Guy would go out to Kennedy at 6 am.work until 10. Take an hour lunch. Leave at three and look like total shit. By 5 pm he would be in the bar. I would show up around 6 from work and he would look like shit. As far as he body knew he had worked 36 hours that day.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      A Certificate from “Howie’s Weldin’ Skool” is not a professional degree, bem.

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      The closest Bem got to welding was Krazy gluing broken used Real Love Dolls

                    • bem

                      They’re just not built for speed. What can I say?

                    • Murdoc34

                      Have to slow down and be tender with ’em. If you’re going to be rough, you’ve got to get a real live one.

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      make sure she can’t talk…the live one that is…

                    • bem

                      is TOO!!!!!!!

                    • Next you’ll say that x-ray specs aren’t real

                    • Murdoc34

                      Never! You can get them for $1.00, mail order. Now, if only I had an extra $1.00…

                      http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yoP7yeN_Rso/ULlH72II8oI/AAAAAAAAJik/JQYknNsUjus/s1600/x-ray-specs.gif

                    • bem

                      Wow….how I schemed to get my mom to give me a check without her finding out what I was up to!!!

                    • Murdoc34
                    • bem

                      Plenty of Catholics AND hippies around when I was a kid – no shortage of beads.

                    • I was in junior high in 99

                    • bem

                      me too. ‘least I had a high-paying job for my age…

                    • Always pays to be 10 years older than everyone else in class….

                    • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

                      I’d been married 8 years by 1999. And I didn’t marry straight out of high school neither, went into the military for a hitch and spent some bachelor time afterward.

                    • John Galt

                      Ugh.

                    • Jim Johnson

                      and we wonder why auto manufacturing went overseas

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Yeah, greedy rich white CEOs. Duh!

              • bem

                I knew it…..trannies on the assembly line…..thats how it starts…

                • dckhead_con_artist

                  notice how 3 of the 4 are women.

                  • i think you mean 4 out of 5. Those two broads in red shirts are just standing very close together.

      • UWOTM8

        Yeah due to the lakes you get enough moisture for everything to freeze solid. Meanwhile in Utah, everything’s windy and dry.

  • Sir Lee

    wish I had kids with me now. There is unlimited fun an, memories, experiences to be had – especially with the kid that does not need a coat (because its warm inside)
    Kinda bored – may have to get to gym for some 10 x 10s…

  • Open threads are such a good place for shameless plugs to new articles aren’t they?
    https://teamwbfitness.com/2018/01/04/asking-for-help/

    • cheeseburgercheeseburger

      when are we getting an article on the proper way to slam those ropes (which look thick enough to keep a battleship moored) into the floor of the gym

      • I hate fucking battle ropes, but for the purposes of cardio they really are hard to beat. Maybe I will put something together like 5 things to do for cardio when the stair climber gets boring.

    • bem

      ugh…..is this about exercise again?!?!?!?

      • anyway, im exercising more these days

        • bem

          Its good for ya WB.

    • Sir Lee

      should have read that before I went.
      “Guys too often avoid hip thrusters and I think that is a terrible idea. The reason most guys avoid them is that they feel awkward doing them in the gym and aren’t 100% sure how to do them correctly.”

      I stared at that setup for a bit…bit weird…Will watch and learn from others next time.

      So how much rest is important? This time of year and in this weather – I am more inspired to go to the gym – why not? – nothing else to do.
      But, is it detrimental? On the other hand if I just started a hard labor job – I would not get a day off cause my triceps hurt!

      • Hip thrusters take patience. A lot going on. Clench those ass cheeks as if that faggot thales is around, holding the bridge, humping the air. Start with no resistance to track the motion. Then add just the bar. Once you are confident with the movement start putting on the weight. The extra strength you gain and injury resistance you build will be worth it 100%.

        As for rest. I am a 7 day a week guy. I don’t believe in a rest day. In the summer I suggest an active rest day and by rest i mean to do a crossfit wod or bootcamp class, play basketball, do hot yoga, a long hilly bike ride etc. However, I am not in the CT Fletcher overtraining is bullshit camp. He trained the same muscle 7 days a week and unless you plan on pumping a ton of juice into your body that will hurt you. My general rule is that you should give 3 days between isolating particular muscles with the exception of abs and wrists which you can hit every day.

        So yeah, go to the gym 7 days a week. Great. But don’t hit Triceps until Thursday if you hit them on Monday especially because they will be a secondary muscle for many of your other lifts.

        • Sir Lee

          speaking of Hot Yoga – must be demanding.
          I met a very helpful nurse/yoga-instructor many weeks ago when I went to Hospital. She was a true deep-throat-CIM-swallow, good Samaritan.
          I asked her later if she had done hot yoga. She said yes – twice – and threw up both times

          • Those damn Samaritan women.

            It is tough, but I don’t find it vomit inducing. As long as you are plenty hydrated and have an empty stomach.

            I’ve seen a lot of people give up on it, but never saw anyone yak.

            I don’t do it often, maybe once or twice a month when I am in training. I find it very therapeutic for the muscles.

            • Ainigmaris Thales

              My personal experience has been that hot chick nurses in the ER are not usually down to fuck behind the curtain, but an ICU nurse is usually down to give you a sympathy blowjob.

        • Ainigmaris Thales

          Gay.

  • Murdoc34

    I understand the epicenter for Deathstorm 2018 is supposed to be NYC. I further understand that the snowfall total for Manhattan currently stands at 0.01″. How on earth is anyone supposed to survive this calamity?

    • Jim Johnson

      It’s pandalerium! The weather people are worse than the soap operas.

    • Sir Lee

      I went out earlier and endured a little snow in my running shoe.
      going out again now to sexual harass business women stuck in a hotel lobby bar

      • Murdoc34

        A harrowing tale of survival. Expect the local news station to contact you to record a two part series on your ordeal.

    • UnreconstructedConfederate

      I hope that beforehand you bought a gallon of milk and a dozen eggs, if not well, it was nice knowing you.