The Real Problem With Being A Nice Guy

“Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.”

-Albert Einstein

A few weeks back I was listening to a podcast that was interviewing Dr. Robert Glover, author of the well-known book No More Mr. Nice Guy and a point he made about the importance of integrity really stood out to me.

Too often we focus on the values of integrity with regard to our external situation –

  • Do you give back the $20 bill that fell out of that man’s pocket in front of you?
  • Do you go back into the grocery store to pay for something that didn’t get rung up when you were checking out?

-but how often do we make sure that we are being honest with THE most important person, ourselves?

What impact does lacking integrity have on our very spirit and how do we undermine our own integrity throughout our day-to-day interactions?

The Integrity Bleed-Over Effect

I’m reminded of a lesson one of my old martial arts instructors gave to the class many years ago when I was still a teenager.  He told us that it was important to do everything, especially the small tasks with earnest effort as they build upon and allow us to accomplish the greater tasks.

If you can’t even do the smaller tasks given to you, what makes you think you will excel at the larger tasks?

This lesson rings true when it comes to our integrity as well.  If you can’t be honest with yourself and others over the small things, what makes you think you can be honest over the big things?

So what impact do these small infractions upon our integrity have on us, besides not preparing us for when the big tests come along?

Simply put, it erodes our spirit.  Every time we say a lie or don’t say anything at all in order to be the “nice guy” and keep the waters smooth, we are ingraining into our psyche that we’re a liar, a fraud.  Over time, this erodes our soul to the point where you are miserable, stressed, and more likely to commit even greater atrocities.

In this interview, Robert Glover describes how he was a nice guy that got along to get along.  He attributes this consistent denial of his own integrity to why he had an affair in his first marriage and why his second marriage eventually crumbled.  In short, his lack of integrity on small things gradually bled over onto larger, more serious issues.

How You Undermine Your Integrity

Our highly feminized society has created an atmosphere where it’s difficult to be open and honest with people.  So many people get hurt feelings over a harsh word and then proceed to destroy the offending individual that many men have taken to being Mr Nice Guy.

The problem with this, beyond what was described earlier in this article, is that you wind up sabotaging yourself by taking on undue burdens from your manager, wife, and friends, thus doing many tasks with a mediocre to poor level of proficiency.

If you don’t have the integrity to tell people no when you’re taking on too much, people will stop respecting you and your time.  You’ll be nothing more than a yes-man, a doormat.

Let’s take a moment to review some small issues that arise that men generally fall for the Mr Nice Guy trap:

  • Your boss asks you to take on a special project when your workload is already at full capacity.
  • You finish your chores around the house and your wife then asks you to do some of hers because she’s falling behind.
  • Your friend wants you to help him move though you’ve asked him for favors in the past and he’s always said no.
  • Someone asks for your opinion on something where you can tell a white lie or give a more confrontational response.

If you find yourself feeling pressured internally to say “yes” every time someone makes a request of you, you need to take some time to introspect and ask yourself why you feel the need to always accommodate others.


Now that we’ve discussed Nice Guy syndrome, can you tell me what the opposite of a Nice Guy is?

If you answered “A Mean Guy” or a “Jerk,” you would be…wrong.

The opposite of a Nice Guy would be a honest guy; honest with others, but most importantly, honest with yourself.

Whenever you are feeling pressured to say yes to something or to be nonconfrontational or accommodating, ask yourself if this is putting you in a lose-lose situation or if you even want to do it.  In the long run, it’s better to stir up the waters from time to time, than to not be true to yourself and assert your own wants and needs.

We’ll discuss the Nice Guy condition further in future articles, but for now let us know what Nice Guy issues you struggle(d) with and how you are working to overcome them.

Author: Jak

Jak, married and father of three, seeks to help the Red-Pill Community take its next step past the petty cynicism and ineffectual anger. While he recognizes that men are significantly handicapped by the modern legal system and culture, he doesn't accept that traditional marriage is untenable in today's social climate. Rather, men must be willing to adapt to this new world by implementing new tactics and approaches to maintaining a balance of power. Jak is here to provide you with these lessons.

454 thoughts on “The Real Problem With Being A Nice Guy”

  1. ” let us know what Nice Guy issues you struggle(d) with”

    – Helping out girls who cry and whine and give me a sob story about their problems in life.

    “and how you are working to overcome them.”

    – No longer giving a crap about their problems as they do not give a crap about mine.
    – Hardened up due to being screwed over by females in the past, including (especially) family members. Female tears have almost no effect on me anymore.
    – Sixty is less than 10 years away. Need to plan for that.

    1. It ain’t just chicks, I’ve lost count of how many people I would like to screw over just for some payback.

      1. I know how you feel, but I have come to recognize these people build their own hells and the best revenge is to continue to improve and live well. Also never lend money to anyone. Especially family.

          1. Fannucci’s mad. Says the neighborhood’s getting sloppy. People don’t pay on time, don’t pay the full
            amount. Says he’s been to nice to everybody.

            1. Well if its not him, someone else collects for Masseria*
              (one of the few historical figures mentioned)

          2. “..extacting revenge is a waste of energy.”

            Agreed. However on the flip side, I knew of a guy who extracted revenge on another fellow that afterwards no one, not even his friends, wanted anything to do with him. The guy he targeted was facing criminal charges and lost his marriage over it– really f*cked up his life and was complete overkill.

  2. Your friend wants you to help him move though you’ve asked him for favors in the past and he’s always said no.

    That’s not a friend, that’s an acquaintance, and it’s a crappy one at that.

    Setting boundaries in general is a must, and being a “nice guy” who caters to everyone is simply announcing to the world you have no boundaries.

    It only takes one time for someone to realize that you have no self-respect and no boundaries and they will latch onto that and take advantage every chance they get.

    1. “That’s not a friend, that’s an acquaintance, and it’s a crappy one at that.”

      Very true, but there are many people, especially blue-pilled men, that hold onto friendships like that for various reasons. I’ve had a few long-term friendships I eventually had to turn my back on because they always fell through.

    2. There is no circumstance in the world that a man over the age of 30 should be asking people to help him move. Hire fucking movers. If you need help paying for them, sure, lend your buddy some money. There are certain things we dispense with as adults: beer pong, clever t shirts and asking people to help you move are amongst them.

      Just asking you to help, unless you are in your 20’s, is already a sign that this is a grade A douchebag and should be exercised from your life immediately.

      1. I would further modify this rule as follows:
        Anyone you know (subject to the Age Clause above) may ask you to help them move ONE(1) time, and the understanding is that one day, and that day may never come, you will call upon them to reciprocate. They in turn are bound to helping you move once. Under no circumstances should you ever help the same person move twice for free. After all, we are not communists.

          1. We’re protected by the Age Clause, old timer. I’d never ask you to get me off the hook on this. After all, I’ve always liked you. This is just business.

  3. “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.”

    -Albert Einstein

    Interesting quote but, I prefer this one-

    Any story worthy of telling, is worthy of embellishment- UnreconstructedConfederate

  4. Saying no at work has to be one of life’s greatest pleasures. Don’t get me wrong, you have to work your ass off to earn the right to do it, but once you prove that you are highly competent and indispensable, it is really satisfying to pass on those assignments that come in at 6pm on Friday and are due first thing Monday because “I have plans,” and then spend your weekend fucking around with your family while some other gutless puss puts in time on an assignment that no one will bother looking at until Tuesday. Bonus points when I still get the best reviews and biggest bonuses.

    1. Saying no and delegating authority so you can concentrate on bigger things is a trait the executives look for.

      1. I think Al put it best

        Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when
        someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember
        about me

          1. Capone. But close.

            Capone is incredibly quotable. My all time favorite was when he was asked about bootlegging from Canada and he said “I don’t even know which block Canada is on”

                  1. 99% of what I know about Canada is from “Strange Brew”. The other 1% is from MIA commentor Clark Kent and having been there a couple times.

                    1. Clark decided to stick with ROK for some reason, I can’t understand the Canadian’s thinking sometimes.

                    2. I’m a little worried about this Roosh fella. I want you to find out what he’s got under his fingernails, ya’know. Go to the ah ROK website, uh, and ah, make them think that ah you’re — you’re not too happy with our family and — and ah find out what you can.

                    3. Clark is good people. He posts here once in a long while, but I do find it strange that he still hangs out at RoK.

      1. You must be smoking crack if you think I was being critical of this piece. I was just summarizing.

      1. I’m the dictator of my front lawn. I ethnically cleansed a fire ant hill with boiling water. fuck ’em.

        1. Should have done it with molten aluminum. Then, after it’s cooled off and hardened, you coulda dug it out, rinsed it off, and had an awesome sculpture.

            1. Even that magazine is leftist toilet paper anymore. If it isn’t about some made up environmental catastrophe, it is about how we need embrace the increased intrusiveness of technology.

              1. deep state really is everywhere now. thats the last mag I thought they’d be able to turn into a propaganda outlet

                1. They had to change direction since everyone’s a faggot now and no one tinkers with shit in the garage.

                  1. Field and Stream? Guns n Ammo?
                    a 10 yr old transvestite from brooklyn just started a transvestite club for tweens. CPS, where are thou?

                    1. I gave up on worthwhile magazines once they got rid of Weekly World News. Whatever happened to batboy?

                    1. how high was the first guy who thought installing hydraulics on his Impala was a great way to improve the resale value?

                    2. its like they were smoking up while watching Inspector Gadget and someone said “yo, we should do that shit to our cars!”

              2. in the old days you could build radio communications, a fully programmable controller, repair a TV, and commission a tank brigade with Popular Mechanics. Today it teaches you how to install batteries in a drone and talks about storing suntan lotion when climate change starts frying us.

                    1. American Eyetalians need 10,000 times the sunlight exposure of the non eyetalian. we need to burn

                    2. I used it in my 1997 Mazda MPV after the head gasket started leaking. Upon start-up in the summer, the car smelled like fried okra.

                    3. True story, my brother got this 82′ volkswagon rabbit from his girlfriend for free. The car was a piece of crap, and one night we cut the top off with a cutting torch and took it out wheeling in the sagebrush and hammered on it. The following weekend, we took it out again and we put a hole in the radiator. To get it home, we pissed in the radiator. (Got the idea from Red Dawn) The radiator was now leaking steamy piss all over the hot motor. He traded the car with this guy for a set of speakers and a case of beer.

                    4. but you raised the boiling point of the cooling system especially if you ate fries and drank beer that night!

                    5. apparently not enough. if you ever peed on a campfire to put it out, you have a good idea what the car smelled like.

                    6. Reminds me of this 176 yr old black dude I knew. He said the best first aid for a burn was to apply bacon to the site…..

                    7. During the summer, for pick-up soccer games, everyone has to bring a white shirt and a colored shirt in case the teams are uneven. One time a black guy showed up with a red Arsenal jersey and I told him to go white because they were down a man. He took off his shirt.

                    8. I was blessed with a small dose of that, whereas my Asshole Brother had the complexion of Howdy Doody. Dude used to burn if he had a bright idea….

                    9. yep, my sis is the lighter one, bursts into flames in direct sunlight in less than 15 minutes

          1. you’ve seriously done this? I remember taking a casting class in high school where we made molds out of soda cans. That was fun.

                1. why all actors must be ignored: kutcher heard jobs only ate foods that were orange, so he did too, somehow this would help him prep for the role. the result? he gave himself pancreatitis

                  1. Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his asshole to talk? His whole abdomen would move up and down, you dig, farting out the words. It was unlike anything I ever heard. Bubbly, thick, stagnant sound. A sound you could smell. This man worked for the carnival,you dig? And to start with it was like a novelty ventriloquist act. After a while, the ass started talking on its own. He would go in without anything prepared…and his ass would ad-lib and toss the gags back at him every time.

          1. I would still recommend reading the book. There are some back drops not in the movie and makes the old man even more respectable.

  5. Leo was right:

    Leo Durocher, perhaps major league baseball’s best example of the win-at-all-costs manager, one who viewed the game not as a challenging pastime for talented athletes but as a sports relative of guerilla warfare, died yesterday in Palm Springs, Calif. He was 86 years old.

    Durocher achieved national notoriety proclaiming “nice guys finish last” while driving his teams to three National League pennants and one supremely unexpected World Series victory. Durocher always placed heavy reliance on physical and psychological intimidation of the enemy, the army of foes that, to him, included the umpiring crews. To him, base hits, hook slides and sharp-breaking curveballs were important, but equally so were sharp spikes, beanballs and umpire-baiting

    1. companies today have a way of emasculating you. When I first became manager, I would kabash all the other departments when they would harass my employees with questions unrelated to their daily tasks. I would also constantly argue when someone blamed me for a mistake until the other party proved it was my fault. I was told to tone down and show love to the enemy by my boss who is now a VP. I’ve been a half-pussy ever since. It’s like they encourage emasculation.

          1. in a post nuclear world/world with little oil, I think you have the know-how to run bartertown. yuppies like me would be toast

            1. What is funny is that car still was full of pee when we traded, I think the guy just pulled the motor and took the rest to the wrecking yard.

              1. My friend saw-zalled the top off his Chevette. It looked like a mini-mini-pickup truck. Eventually had to drill drain holes in the floors for when it rained. Told girls he drove a ‘vette.

                  1. Everyone onna eyelan’ believes, deep down, that they have Moved Out to the Country and endeavor to equip themselves thus….

                1. there is something about a home-made convertible that is just fun, it is like a free license to tear it up. Not many vehicles have I been in with all four wheels off the ground. That was one.

                  1. Serious question. When you drive a vehicle so fast that all four wheels come off the ground, does time stop for a second and a narrator chime in to say “Well it sure looks like that Jim feller got himself into a pickle. Let’s see how he gets outta this one…”?

                    1. Been awhile since I had all 4 wheels leave the ground. I didn’t hear a voice… But time definitely stopped.

                2. Sawzalling a chevette…… anymore that is sacrilege. The greatest sin of our generation is trashing the last of the cool cars.

      1. I am glad some of my mentors were older cut throat men who were relentless about growing the business– one in particular brought back a publicly traded company (LSE) from bankruptcy (where I joined a year later) and turned it all around and sold for a nice price later on. He once told me, “I like it when I get complaints from othe mangers about you John. It tells me you are doing your job.”

        He was one of Thatchers associates I found out later.

              1. The Equinox in Dallas is more like a daytime nightclub. My Ex wife “exercises” there yet she still looks 20 lbs overweight. I am guessing she stretches quite a bit at the valet especially when the Lambos and Maseratis come rolling in.

                1. There are about 30 of them in manhattan and all have a different flavor. There are two in my neighborhood and one is geared towards older people so more classes and treadmills and the one I go to is a far more serious lifters gym. There is one not to far from me that is, as you say, essentially a night club with gym machines rather than alcohol and others that are really big on networking.

                  Equinox, at least in NYC, is very smart about making sure they are able to serve all markets. When you see the people in my equinox they are almost all in excellent shape, but if you walk 7 blocks to the other it is almost all people who are over 60.

                  All things being equal, after belonging to a dozen or so gyms in new york from hard core old school barbell clubs to discount joints to fancy places, equinox is just a fantastic place and totally worth the increased cost over the other joints.

                  1. I work out at the YMCA by an old folks home. The treadmills are always full, but the squat rack is always empty.

          1. I think I will skip that one. If I have to teach guys that girls in the gym in workout clothes are motivating then I am talking to the wrong people. Funny how I just had this discussion earlier today….it’s more of a distraction than anything else which is why I am contemplating starting to go hood up at the gym

            1. I don’t know. A little hottie in skin-tight yoga pants walking by at the right time can sometimes fire me up to push through a set. Or give me a hernia.

              1. I can. But it also leads some people to trying super human feats of strength or, on occasion, looking to the side when they should be focused on the weight.

                My problem is drop sets. If I am doing a drop set it will never fail that after 30 minutes of running a whole rack of dumbbells all the way down to the little 10 pound fuckers I will be struggling and sweating against those tiny little weights when the hottest girl in the gym walks by. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME

                1. So your problem is that you care that the “hottest girl in the gym” sees you sweating and struggling with a small weight? Come on, man…

                    1. Taking a bunch of the crumbs left over from what you fed your kid’s rabbit and mixing a cup of mayonnaise into it is not what I consider edible food.

                2. Eat a grapefruit before your workout.
                  Not only will it help your workout, but your darts will smell refreshing.
                  Ladies love that.

                  1. That’s why it’s so important to keep a snuff can in your hip pocket when working out. That way when the hottie sees it and goes “Ewww! You dip snuff while working out?” You can look her in the eye and say “No darlin’ that’s a condom case…”

                    1. Oh I am pretty sure in real life that’s the troof. I had a fellow Airman in basic training that was hung like a donkey. I made the comment “Now I know who got the rest of mine.” He told me it wasn’t all that great having a knee slapper. Most girls would take one look at it, say “You are not sticking that thing in me!” then get dressed and leave.

            2. I would understand having a men’s only gym. Unfortunately, the gays think they count as men.

              1. I was thinking something along these lines recently. Basically my thinking was that the reason they split the lockers, steam rooms, saunas etc into men’s and women’s is because of the natural way that men and women look at each other as sexual entities. But if they are going to let fags into the men’s locker room what is the point here? Why not just make one really huge, well appointed, unisex locker room

                1. The way the bathroom controversy (like there should be one) is going, it will either be that or individual bathrooms for everyone.

                  1. My locker room is huge though. It contains a sauna, a steam room, 20 showers, about 300 lockers, a bathroom area with 10 stalls, 25 sinks in an L and two seperate stations to groom yourself. I assume the ladies is at last AS big if not bigger. The combined room would be great! Doing it separate for everyone at a big gym would be really impossible unless they make lockers and bathroom one room and then a unisex room with amenities

                    1. I don’t think a unisex locker room at a gym will turn out the way you think it will. At least not at first, and probably not for a long time. The first gym in any particular area that goes unisex is going to attract all of the people that will go there solely to hang out in the unisex locker room, which means it will be filled with 300lb naked dudes all day long, sitting around doing nothing but waiting for hot naked chicks to walk in. And absolutely no hot naked chicks are going to go there, because they know its going to be filled with the kind of guys that will sit around in the unisex locker room and wait for naked chicks to walk in.

                    2. I would agree, just letting your eyes drop at a college campus can get you in trouble for sexual harassment or whatever. The potential for feminists to abuse this power would be off the charts in a unisex bathroom/

                    3. I didn’t even consider that angle. I can see a gaggle of purple-haired, multiple-face-piercing, landwhales waddling their naked haunches in there and screaming rape at the first male who accidentally glanced in their general direction.

                    4. You really seem to have woman hating issues.
                      You know you need to eat a grapefruit and tell your family that you’re gay.
                      Its ok. You’re deviant faggotry is more accepted now.
                      You’re still going to he’ll though

                    5. Probably right. I know someone who went to Hedonism in Jamaica thinking it would be a good idea. It was 10-1 men to women and the women there was mostly mid western cows or over the hill wage slaves looking for attention.

                      All nude, adults only, all inclusive beach resort always sounds good right up until you get there I guess.

                    6. It depends a lot on the culture and area. Back before the migrant invasion, Sweden would have been an excellent place for a unisex locker room. Most of the chicks there are hot, and just culturally a lot more cool about being naked. Unfortunately, nowadays a unisex locker room in Sweden would probably just be a migrant rape fest.

                2. That’s the worst part about working out at the YMCA. Can’t use the showers or the sauna.

                    1. there’s AIDS at the YMCA. Body Wash AIDS, Hearing AIDS, Lifting AIDS, Personal Trainer AIDS, all kinds of AIDS.

                3. “..well appointed, unisex locker room.”

                  I used to hit a spa hotel near where I used to work to hit the their weight room. I didn’t realize the arrangement (I didn’t use the spa part) until I was showering there one night and to either side of me appeared two naked chicks. It’s amazing what you can get used too.

                  A memorable night was when a group of Canadian tourists arrived and started honking, “My god! Look at that! She’s naked. Look at that one over there.” Cultural shock is a funny thing to behold.

              2. Maybe Mens Health should start running articles about
                ” How To Take Care Of Your Burnt Out Stumphole”.

            1. I’m totally embracing our future masters… I’ve been dating my Roomba for about a month now. Hoping to meet the parents soon and get in on the good side of the AI revolution.

              1. Neither can Chinese people. They just make a bunch of strange mouth noises when non-Chinese are around to fool us. They all speak the King’s English when no one is looking.

                1. They probably use tape to make them look like they have squinty eyes too. Treacherous little fucks.

                  1. Yep, and you know how they make it seem like they all look alike — well, they don’t — it’s just the one guy. They trot him out for everything just to make us think we’re racist and shit. I tell you man, the damn Chinese… total fucking dicks.

                    1. Yea. They don’t eat much grapefruit over there.
                      They should work on that.
                      Plus, the chinks might not even be able to trust each other to pour them a drink without defiling the beverage

                2. I have been thinking this for a long time now. I remember once, long ago, I ordered chinese food. I called back to tell them I wanted brown rice instead of white with my order. She said “hold on” and then let out a scream that sounded like 50 cats were being tortured and lasted near on 30 seconds. There is absolutely no way that that scream could have meant “brown rice instead of white rice with the shrimp and black bean sauce”

                  I am fairly sure all asian languages are just a put on.

          1. Mexicans*
            There is no singular of the word Mexicans.
            “I’m not a mexicans” or “Juan is a Mexicans” or “I am in the mood for Mexicans food”

              1. funny, but again wrong
                “Are you a mexicans or a mexicants”
                Seriously, have you ever, ever, ever seen one mexicans just standing around? There is no singular here.

  6. OT: Anybody else watch the Sportsball Big Trophy Game last night? Am I the only one who felt like it was “too good”? Like it was scripted out?

    Bama falls behind big in the first half, then benches the Heisman contender QB for the freshman QB to come back and drive the team to a win in overtime.

    I know I’m drifting into real Alex Jones territory here, but man, it really felt like I was watching a scripted sports movie much more than an actual game.

    1. It wouldn’t surprise me if the bigger college bowl games weren’t determined before the game. I think it’s blantanly obvious in the NFL. Wish Bob would post here on occassion.

        1. I doubt that will happen. With the rest of us gone they are pretty much the top dogs in that backyard now.

        2. I have tried several times to convince bobthat akc has better grapefruits.
          He definitely received the information, yet, I have not seen him here.
          He must like his shitty fruit

              1. Here, I’ll type that a little louder for you. He said


      1. The very last sportsball game I watched was around 1983. I know this because Theismann was the QB for the Skins. It was a Dallas home game I was being forced to watch at my ex-inlaws’ house because I was being “nice” and it was important to her dad. By half time I had spotted so many bogus calls by the officials (and kept pointing them out to my father in law) that it was blatant the fix was in. I swore I would never watch another game and I haven’t. There is no way in hell with that much money riding on these games that the outcome will be left to chance. .

    2. I’m pretty sure everybody with a frontal lobe has turned Alex Jones-tier with all the weird shit that’s come out recently…

          1. Would you say you hate fruits to the point of being harvested and put into ships for exportation?

                1. he will run out eventually. Let’s just hope he doesn’t start using Marijunana Strains.

                  1. I don’t think it is Kersey, hasn’t accused anyone of racism or gotten pegged in Haiti yet.

                    1. Oh, I know. Ch41N doesn’t at all strike me as having the compulsion to futz around with multiple accounts. That’d be more of a Peachy Pabsty thing. Although it isn’t him either, the fixation is wrong. Unless vegetation is a metaphor for race.

                    2. Yeah, Ch41n clearly isn’t smart enough to pull off this kind of sophisticated trollery.

                  1. …..the way they come out to this clean country with their juicy hair — dressed up in
                    those orange suits – and try to pass themselves off as healthy fruit. I’ll do
                    business with them, but the fact is, I despise the masquerade — the dishonest
                    way they pose themselves. @(G)rapefruit, and his whole fucking produce section.

                    1. An Asian guy wearing a pith helmet feeding citrus to a snake while driving a tank with grapefruit track wheels? Can’t you be more original than that?

                    2. Yeah, the Asian dude is holding the snake, which is bent at an obtuse angle. The snakes head is resting on the open face of the cut fruit, and his tongue is sticking out toward the center of the fruit, apparently in order to taste it. The right eye of the snake is visible.

                    3. That’s just part of the gooks left arm.
                      Your eyes/mind is going bad.
                      You should try eating a grapefruit

                    1. I imagine that he is at a Starfucks now with voice activation on, verbalizing his comments out loud in public.

                    2. A kid comes up to me in a white jacket, gives me a Ritz cracker, and uh, chopped liver, he says Canapés. I say uh, uh, can o’ peas my ass, that’s a Ritz cracker and chopped liver!

                    1. I wouldn’t know.
                      Haiti is a shithole that needs a tactical nuke.
                      That’s the only thing that will help them.
                      Grapefruit can’t help them now.

  7. Most of my Mr. Nice Guy issues could be traced back to my upbringing as a Southern gentleman. I was taught chivalry, that all women were to be treated like ladies and that it was always best to avoid a fight. Having been around women in my family who always conducted themselves as ladies and being essentially sheltered from contact with women who did not, I went into young adulthood thinking all women were angels.

    It didn’t take me long to realize that was not the case. But it took decades to learn what to do about it. I conflated staying out of physical fights with avoiding conflict altogether. Now this has two significant consequences: 1) It puts the pressure for most decisions on your wife, and 2) it makes you look weak.

    When my ex asked me where I wanted to go for dinner she actually wanted a decision, not “Where ever you want to go, dear.” And the same thing for bigger decisions as well. Very often she would challenge my decision (when I actually made one) and she was looking for me to counter.

    Over time, constantly accommodating her, being a “yes man”, led to resentment. That developed into constant anger and frustration just below the surface which caused me to be passive agressive, to seek the attention of other women and find excuses to stay gone (physically or chemically) as much as possible. It should come as no surprise that this scenario ended in divorce. A normal, healthy women wants a man who can and will stand up for himself. Otherwise how can she count on him to protect and defend her?

    1. Very well written. I’ve seen this exact same thing happen again and again. Men who were taught bullshit like “happy wife, happy life” think they have to avoid all conflict, and take a passive backseat in the relationship — the “go along to get along” kind of attitude — when all that does is lead to resentment, just like you said, and ultimately divorce.

      1. You know, “happy wife, happy life” is in fact sound advice. The problem comes from thinking that true happiness in women is attainable by just giving them whatever they want and being a doormat. If you show leadership in a strong, but kind way your wife will be truly happy. People mistake happy for spoiled and Spoiled Wife, Happy Life isn’t a motto anyone would think is good.

      2. There was a time I did that too. Not anymore, if there’s a conflict on the horizon I head it off at the pass.

    2. This is definitely a big point. My wife’s birthday was yesterday and I took her out for a late night dinner. She was flip-flopping between two restaurants and when she finally said, “how about restaurant A?” I simply replied, “Nope, we already passed by it. We’re going to restaurant B.”
      No muss. No fuss. No woman cuss. Just make a decision and stick by it, even on their birthday. 😉

    3. I used to do that same shit. When going to eat she would ask where I wanted to and I usually responded by saying ” I don’t care” or “wherever you want to go”. I thought I was doing the right thing by letting her make the call when she didn’t want to all along.
      Now when she asks that I make a call and that’s where we go. About the only time I deviate from that is if she asks to go somewhere in particular ahead of time.

    1. Nah, Pabst’s deal was that Asian dudes were stealing all the white wimmens. White dudes bang Asian chicks all the time.


                    2. You two are so gay.
                      Why dont you just go gay marry each other and fag your ways to he’ll like you know you want to.
                      Grapefruit won’t help you now.

                    3. If you are going to be using language like that… you should at least change the autocorrect on your phone to stop changing “hell” to “he’ll” all the time.

                  1. Bem will reason with Pabst. Leave everything to @disqus_tj7gjZttfg:disqus . IHe’ll take take care of everything. He never lies to his friends. Tomorrow you both go talk to Pabst. He’ll ask for the Pork Fried Rice. Tell him you’ll pay whatever he wants. Don’t argue with him. I’ll go and get him to agree. Don’t argue with him since he’s so tough.

      1. Pabst outright denied this. He said that asian women would have nothing to do with white men and white women were all clambering for the asian men

  8. Hey Jak, maybe you can create a “Featured Troll” category… I think this GrapeFRUIT has earned today’s spot.

    1. No offense, but the absolute last thing this site needs is a “Featured Troll” category.

          1. Literally is fine and healthy
            Figuratively, as in a sodomist such as yourself, is evil and will give you aids on your way to hell

    2. I’m pretty sure grapefruit, stoic potato, and the banana guy are all the same person. So it will literally be the same guy getting the award every time

  9. With regard to integrity, if you are scrupulously honest, you will never have to worry about looking yourself in the eye when you are at a mirror. I am a firm believer in what comes around goes around / you reap what you sow / Karma or whatever flavor of that Universal truth you prefer. I see life in general from a physics standpoint: for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

    I have a neighbor who has admitted to me he is a liar and has abused my hospitality. We were once friends, but because of this he is no longer welcome in my home. His son works for a big corporation, steals tools and equipment and brings it home to dad.

    Dad apparently sees nothing wrong with this, which lends credence to the old wisdom that the fruit doesn’t fall too far from the tree. Not surprisingly this man’s workshop has been broken into and his tools and equipment stolen more than once. There’s the harvest from what he planted, and he still doesn’t get the message.

    The question you need to ask yourself is would I prefer to be known as a man of integrity and honor or a liar and a thief? Because whatever kind of man you are, you may rest assured that you will draw people into your circle who are a lot like you.

              1. If I had that many, I wouldn’t be able to remember all their names. I would just have to point and say, “hey you!”.

        1. Not at all Jim, it just means you’re selective. It’s better to have no friends at all than to have “friends” that would prevent you from being your best.

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