Should You Fake It ‘Til You Make It?

For those of us in the Red Pill community, we’ve heard a ton of advice regarding self-improvement, especially how to maintain frame and gaming women. The phrase “Fake it ’til you make it (FITYMI)” is a mantra that floats around many circles when a novice asks for advice on improving their confidence, but what are the implications of such advice?

Are we really setting ourselves and others up for self-sabotage down the road?

Is there a better method?

These will be the questions we are going to address in today’s article.

The Light and Dark Sides of FITYMI

As with most advice and opinions, there are two camps pitted against each other: Those who approve of the advice and those who don’t.

Those who approve of the Fake It ‘Til You Make It approach argue that it forces you to put yourself into situations you may find uncomfortable and ACT how you want to be.

If you want to be confident, outgoing, and charismatic, you “fake” those qualities in public until you “make it” and they become second nature.

As many of you can deduce, it’s near impossible to fake certain qualities such as charisma and, to a lesser extent, confidence.  You might be able to plaster a smile on your face and approach that group on the other side of the room, but the subtle cues your body and voice will give off will sabotage you every time.

That’s not to say the Fake It ‘Til You Make It approach is without merit.  It does force you to confront your fears and gradually become comfortable with them, but it doesn’t address an underlying issue we’ll discuss later.

In contrast, those against the FITYMI philosophy argue you shouldn’t be faking anything.  You should simply BE confident, outgoing, and charismatic.

Again, under some close scrutiny, this notion is silly as well.  I can’t just hand a new student at my dojo a black belt and tell them to BE a black belt.  They’ll have no clue what to do and how to do it.

The Real Issue With FITYMI

Both sides hover extremely close to the true answer to this philosophy, but neither quite gets it right and here’s why.

As we discussed in my article earlier this week about personal integrity and the Nice Guy condition, both sides push men to be something they’re not in disingenuous ways.

One side tells you to be a phony in order to improve yourself while the other side tells you to simply BE something that you aren’t yet.  Both camps will put an individual’s subconscious in a state of cognitive dissonance, adding to the stress and pressure they’re probably already experiencing with their dilemma.

Be this even though you’re not.

The Solution

So does this mean that the FITYMI approach to overcoming obstacles should be avoided.  Not entirely.  As I stated earlier, it does have it’s positives although it doesn’t address the impact being a faker has on your self-image.

What I propose is a tweak to the FITYMI principle and how you view it:

Train It ‘Til You Gain It

Does it sound cheesy?  Sure, a bit.  However, this slight alteration completely changes how you view improving whatever skill you’re working on whether it’s being more confident, outgoing, etc.

Let me illustrate.  You don’t walk into a gym on your very first day and begin stacking weights like a power lifter.  You gradually build up to it, getting a bit stronger each time and learning what does and doesn’t work.

Likewise, if you approach social dynamics as a student rather than a con-artist, your mind and your goals will be completely different.  A setback or loss no longer makes you feel like a failure.  Rather, it’s an opportunity to assess and learn what went wrong and how you can improve for your next encounter.

This kind of advice should be a no-brainer, but sadly there are many young men out there desperate for answers and take any advise from our community a little too literally with little critical thinking.

I don’t fault them.  A man unhappy with his life can go to extremes in their attempts to change their lot in life.  What I’m hoping articles like this will do is help them realize that life doesn’t always need to be so serious, that they don’t need to be so be so harsh on themselves when they fall short.

Life, like a hobby or game, is to be enjoyed.  That doesn’t mean it won’t take some hard work to get to the level that you want to be at, but learn to enjoy the journey rather than be constantly fretting over your every move.

Author: Jak

Jak, married and father of three, seeks to help the Red-Pill Community take its next step past the petty cynicism and ineffectual anger. While he recognizes that men are significantly handicapped by the modern legal system and culture, he doesn't accept that traditional marriage is untenable in today's social climate. Rather, men must be willing to adapt to this new world by implementing new tactics and approaches to maintaining a balance of power. Jak is here to provide you with these lessons.

  • Jim Johnson

    A common misconception is there are successful guys who are comfortable in their situation. Nope, they became successful by pushing their envelope. If you fail to push you are comfortable, but become soft. Comfort is for women and manginas.

    • jammyjaybird

      Exactly. Faking it means failing many many times, and many many people laughing at you, until you do eventually catch the thing you’re chasing — in this case, charisma. Someone called game “learned charisma”. That’s the best definition I’ve ever heard.

      Will you ever stand on a stage and enrapture an audience with learned charisma? No, only natural charisma does that. Will you ever watch an attractive woman’s pupils dilate when she looks at you? Her tongue involuntarily wet her lips? Yes, you will, and that’s what *learned* charisma gets you.

      I’m not naturally charismatic, but I’ve learned it over the years, and now it comes second nature. Here’s two quick shortcuts to learned charisma: 1) In public, entertain yourself first and foremost. 2) Dance with your hips, not your arms. Women notice both of these things at a primal level. You’re welcome.

      • “In public, entertain yourself first and foremost”

        Tis true. When I’m playing the guitar or acting in a skit if I worry about the people in the audience I get wooden and stiff. When I lose myself in what I’m doing and don;t even notice the crowd is when it all flows. That’s when people notice

        • Jak

          I’ve experienced that during my short stint in theatre during my senior year of high school. If I just ignored the audience and did my thing, my performance was much better.

          • (g)Rapefruit

            The trick is to be naked and picture everyone eating a grapefruit.

            • Jak

              Seems legit.

        • bem

          tends to lead to more genuine, and in turn charming, smiles. Bitches dig smiles

      • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

        Dancing with the hips is absolutely correct. White Guy dancing with the arms went out in the 1980’s, if it was even really a thing then.

        Your first suggestion is also gold. I do jokes and conversation to entertain myself normally, and it works like a charm.

  • AutomaticSlim

    “In contrast, those against the FITYMI philosophy argue you shouldn’t

    be faking anything. You should simply BE confident, outgoing, and
    charismatic.Again, under some close scrutiny, this notion is silly as well. I
    can’t just hand a new student at my dojo a black belt and tell them to
    BE a black belt. They’ll have no clue what to do and how to do it.”

    Agree 100% and have said something similar on ROK many times: You cannot “be confident” without anything to base it on. Just walking around with an attitude makes one look like a jerk.

    “Train It ‘Til You Gain It”

    Great advice. I hope the young guys here take note. This type of stuff is what websites like these are all about. I wish I had this type of knowledge font and sounding board when I was in my late teens and early twenties. Things could have went so differently for me.

    If any young guys with a few issues here, listen to this advice!

    • bem

      “I wish I had this type of knowledge font and sounding board when I was
      in my late teens and early twenties. Things could have went so
      differently for me.”
      YUP, but fuk it – going forward, make each day a microcosm of the life you want to live.

      • Right, yea a microcosm — the family had a lot of microcosms.

    • Yup….wanna see a good example of fake it till you make it, look at any woman in an corporate exec position who, instead of asking questions and leading a team looks to make others look bad to make herself look better. This is not a goal to strive for.

      • bem

        Perfect example.

      • dckhead_con_artist

        funny how girlfriends do the same thing….in regards to your past girlfriends

        • if you let them dickhead, if you let them.

          • dckhead_con_artist

            you can only keep your hands on her throat so many hours per day.

            • If you do it once just right, afterwards you can do it remotely like vader choking out Admiral Motti

              • bem

                Y’know even at 5 yrs old watching that movie in the theaters I took that to be a lesson in ‘Shut The Fuk UP’

                  • bem

                    I really need to give this a critical viewing.

              • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                they allowed italians on the death star?

                • Needed plumbers. Called them “ethnics”

                • bem

                  someday you might have to know how to cook for 1.7 million military personnel.

                  • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                    but they are all clones of the same guy so they would all have the same fave meal: ton-ton soup with gorgonzolla cheese.
                    how hard is it to butcher a ton-ton, esp if you have a light sabre?

                  • This was truly excellent.

    • jon stone

      A sensible comment.
      However, you have to understand something that applies most reader, both here and on ROK.
      :
      Your average American/Canadian poster here and on ROK are:

      White

      Rural (Remote rural often)

      Young (Some as young as 17 and posing as 40 year olds)

      Middle class at best (In the US this means not terribly well-educated by your standards)

      Employed in fairly thankless occupations, though some high-paying.

      Have had bad experiences with US minorities, if at all

      Rarely met Asians

      Never been more than 30 miles away from their hometown

      Use the word “Jews” to refer to all Caucasians from major cities on the NYC-Chicago-LA axis

      While you can “Train it till you gain it” in NYC. – for most of these guys “FITYMI” is the only remaining option.
      You have extremely limited option in a dying former mining town in Kentucky or a post-industrial shithole in southern Ohio. Where Walmart is the main employer. Where the pretty girls are either with Chad or become mud sharks. Where you either secure a girl by the time you turn 18 or you might end up an incel for the rest of your life. They wonder why the jobs just won’t come despite the fact Trump promised it otherwise. Some of them may end up overdosing themselves on fentanyl in some disused steel mill. They blame Jews and immigrants for the problem – failing to realize that no Jew or immigrant would stop to piss in these towns these guys inhabit.
      For most of these guys FITYMI is the only hope.

      • cheeseburgercheeseburger

        grew up in the rust belt I take it?

        • jon stone

          Left it for Southeast Asia 12 years ago…

          • I hope you haven’t had any carbonated cola beverages

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger

            hope not thailand; poster on the other site lived there, new dictator wasnt a fan of foreigners. was worried he’d get booted out

            • jon stone

              Not exactly Thailand but very close.

        • bem

          hahahahha yeah sounds like a jewish robot took his girl! and his job in a chinese restaurant

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger

            you know the end is nigh if you ever saw an occidental working in an oriental restaurant

            • bem

              NICE use of occidental!

              • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                was gonna go with round eyes

                • bem

                  we’re an educated bunch though

                  • Hey, whataya gonna do, nice college boy, eh? Didn’t want to get mixed up in the Family pejoratives, huh? Now you wanna gun down @cheeseburgercheeseburger:disqus , why, because he made a little racist joke? Hah? What do you think this Jezebel, where you destroy his character from a mile away for making a joke? You’ve gotta get up close like this and bada-bing! you blow his reputation all over your nice Ivy League suit. Come’re…You’re taking this very personal, this is business and you are taking it very, very personal.

                    • bem

                      Bravo!

                    • bem

                      @wbfitness:disqus, wait a minute. I’m talking about a commenter — that’s mixed up in trolling – I’m talking about a dishonest troll — a crooked troll who got mixed up in the demographics and got what was coming to him.
                      That’s a terrific story. And we have newspaper people on the

                      payroll, don’t we, WB?

                    • They might, they just might…

              • he didn’t do it on purpose. it was an…nevermind

            • jon stone

              Seen it happen couple of times in San Francisco around 2005…
              White girls working in Chinese restaurants, that is.

            • 99% of pizza joints have an totally mexicans staff

              • bem

                FACT.
                Best place around here is all Costa Ricans…..

                • Anyone from Costa Rica is an Mexicans. I don’t have time for their soccer quarrels.

                  • bem

                    same language as Italian anyway

                    • right…French. Like all romance languages.

                  • (g)Rapefruit

                    Hey.
                    Los ticos are a cool sort of mexicans

              • Iattacku

                Damn you are correct I remember going into a CiCis in Nashville and thought I walked into Los Pollos Hermanos

        • John Galt

          Yes. Left when Clinton was in office and nothing has changed.

          • jon stone

            Left it in the GW Bush era…I doubt it has changed for the better.

            • John Galt

              I go back on occassion, but NAFTA finished off the last remnants of industry in my corner of the woods a long time ago.

      • Is this the average poster here?

      • Okay here goes:

        Your generalizations are trash. I personally had basically a shitty fucking chance to make it in life and I did. You claim that the hot girls are with chads, so what the fuck are they doing that you are not. You can blame anyone you want for failing or being a piece of shit but at the end of the day SOMEONE is killing it out there who had the same or worse circumstances and did it.

        Blaming anyone else but yourself for failure will always leave you in a pit of shit.

        • jon stone

          Left the US for Southeast Asia years ago…

          • So exactly proving my point, you did something to make your situation better. All those drug addicted fuckers bitching and complaining yet doing nothing to improve their situation can get FUKT.

            • The Champion

              No offense, but couldn’t he just move to a better part of America? This is like stepping off a pile of shit and jumping right into a sewer.

              • bem

                right – “my steak is under-cooked so I’ll just eat broken glass”

                • jon stone

                  Even back in the 1990s was evident that the average Italian businessman such as Versace was a lot more educated and sophisticated than some dick grabbing guido from New Jersey…

              • Jak

                So I take it you’re not a fan of the Bang: Thailand book?

                • The Champion

                  I’m not a fan of DooshB’s works.

                • Art

                  It’s only a matter of time until some master-fag comes out with the ultimate “Bang: Roosh” book.

              • jon stone

                I found better quality of life and better quality of women in SEA than I would have in NYC, LA or Miami.
                Life is also pretty safe in most part of SEA.

                • UWOTM8

                  Well NYC, LA and Miami are huge malignant tumors soooo yeah…

                • Iattacku

                  I hope you aren’t gonn abe one of those guys that constantly promotes Thailand or something. Please don’t mention ladyboys because almost every ROK guy that mentions Thailand claimed to have had fun with them

              • He could have, but he did what he though was right. I don’t really give a shit if you move to the next town over or the other side of the world, he made his own life better. That is the heart of my original response to him. He was trying to make excuses for people but hes living proof that the people he was trying to “stand up for” are full of shit.

          • La’darell Luthor

            I’d posit you were that Thai guy, but he was British. Don’t think you’re kersey, he wouldn’t move anywhere that wasn’t Africa, and Pabst is busy being miserable in NY.

        • bem

          It would be interesting however to compare the real biographies of our TrollShip. I think you’d see quite a broad cross section.

          • Great potatoes potato alike

            • Jak

              I think the proper phasing you were looking for is:
              “Potato potatoes potato potahtoe.”

          • (g)Rapefruit

            I highly doubt there’s any broads on here that would let you cross their section.

            • bem

              I was crossin’ sections when you were still hangin’ on a tree, bub.

              • (g)Rapefruit

                Perhaps

        • dckhead_con_artist

          I personally think we need to help people who WANT blue collar jobs. We need those people and we, as Americans, should be chastising those who move factories to China or Mexico. The CEOs of some companies, like GM, may have worked hard to get their positions but they didn’t build those companies from the ground up. They should be held accountable for moving parts overseas that employed hundreds of thousands in Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, KY, and WV.

          • I agree with you dickhead. We need to totally redo America’s infrastructure. That would build the economy and provide jobs.

          • The Champion

            dckhead_con_artist for President 2024!

            • Jak

              Sure, why not? I’d vote for him so long as he regularly promotes our site during the debates. Heh.

              • The Champion

                You sound like a Jew…

                • Jak

                  Don’t tell my pastor.

                  • bem

                    I hear Jesus was a kike….

            • bem

              A Name you can Trust

          • bem

            The question here, as always is how much social responsibility does a private, commercial entity “owe”?
            Technically none.

            • dckhead_con_artist

              of course not, greed is no less a sin than murder, so let the gangs begin! right?

              • bem

                Yeah — let’s talk business, dckhead. First of all, you’re all done. GM don’t even have that kind of muscle anymore. The General’s sick, right? He’s getting chased out of Michigan by Ford and the other Families —

                What do you think is going on here?

                You think you can come to my factory and take over? — I talked to Elon Musk — I
                can make a deal with him, and still keep my plant!

                • dckhead_con_artist

                  that was superb!

                • Iattacku

                  Isn’t Tesla doing terrible though

                  • bem

                    He’s unlucky. Maybe I could do better.

                  • Consolation_of_Philosophy

                    Their stock is at $338/share, today. Makes me think that their business is selling stock, not selling cars.

                    • Iattacku

                      i just know the Musk has to constantly bail out tesla with the money he makes from other businesses.

                    • La’darell Luthor

                      Is that Cuck still with Amber Heard? I hope he marries her, and she cleans his clock.

          • Jim Johnson

            Best policy would be for government to do nothing. By that I mean stop injecting worthless paper into our money supply, stop overburdening is with regulation, tax, stop playing favoritism in workplace, stop with the useless environmental regulations etc

          • Jim Johnson

            Blue collar workers of yesterday are like the average man today. Do most the work, get the least respect and get taken advantage of. Therefore they moved out of that into white collar or no work. Now there are few tradesman to learn from

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger

            not happening. its a FIRE economy. also: apps! I think we need a tinder-style app that matches iluminati members’ blood type with that of desperate proles eager to sell them their blood. its a limited market(teenagers only, thats the good stuff)….swipe right for Type O negative, get a commission on each pint sold…thoughts?

            • bem

              mobius is that you

          • UWOTM8

            Oh and Mitt Romney can get fucked for burning companies to the ground and outsourcing jobs…

          • John Galt

            The Teamsters and UAW unions has a big role in all that, but I would agree to incentivize businesses to stay instead of chasing them out of the country with over regulations, taxes and mandates. Watch California in the near future– Brown and his Party is taking them to Venezuela.

      • Murdoc34

        DaFUK?

        • Jim Johnson

          I think I’m getting a whiff of kersey

          • Murdoc34

            I’m sure it’s a coincidence. Kersey, for all his faults, does try to pay attention to spelling and grammar.

            • Jim Johnson

              True, still coming off the starting block with a blanket accusation of ignorance is telling

            • cheeseburgercheeseburger

              nah, think he said he lived in england, not asia.

              • Murdoc34

                Yup. PJ was the one in Asia.

                • Jim Johnson

                  Could be pj, perhaps someone new

                  • Jak

                    I thought PJ was pretty cool for the most part. Did he go off the deep end too?

                    • Jim Johnson

                      I was actually sad to see him go. He mentioned not caring if an Asian chick ends up being a tranny. He left after the inevitable shit storm

                    • Jak

                      Apparently I missed that whole conversation…

                    • AutomaticSlim

                      He’s still there. Still funny as hell too.
                      Uses a different screen name.
                      Every now and then he will still post a “ladyboy” comment, but not that often.

                    • Murdoc34

                      Which did you agree with more? A. Getting lap dances from pre-op trannies, or B. Getting lap dances from post-op trannies?

                    • Pole dancer or hole dancer?

                    • La’darell Luthor

                      Fun to converse with, wouldn t hang out with the guy (of course, I could say that about a lot of you fuckers)

          • bem

            its either that or a soiled diaper….

            • Jim Johnson

              Perhaps in that dumpster?

      • Jak
        • jon stone

          My comment hit a nerve, huh?

          • Jak

            Just because I think your comment is dumb, much like a guy who sticks his tongue to a frozen pole is dumb, it doesn’t mean you hit a nerve.
            Words on a screen don’t hurt me, chief.

          • The Champion

            Why do you care so much about a few angsty basement dwellers who pose as 40 year olds online?

            “Fake it till you make it” is shit advice and the desperation of losers doesn’t change this.

      • B1k3_Ch41N
        • jon stone

          I that your head X-Ray, hick?

          • B1k3_Ch41N

            Nah, it’s your mum’s head x ray. That shitty brain seems to run in her jeans! Get it dumbo?

            • jon stone

              Guess what, fuckweed, I am, still living the life in South East Asia while you are stuck for the rest of your life is the Rust Belt, no wife , no kids.
              Yes, keep blaming me…or the Jews.
              Bye

              • The Champion

                Who’s whining about Jews? And if you’re living the life, why the hell did you come here and bitch?

                • Right? If he got out and is so happy why come and bitch. Go live in your SEA paradise

              • B1k3_Ch41N

                Dude chill ya tits down. You don’t even know me.

              • bem

                I thought you lived in Britain.

          • CONFIRMED KERSEY, this is his typical response. I know you are but what am I lol

            Damn I thought the Ukratian would have done you in by now.

      • jammyjaybird

        FYI the only word in your list of descriptors that applies to me is “white”. But thanks for the comment; it does accurately describe a certain fraction of our nation.

        • Jim Johnson

          A certain small fraction

      • UWOTM8

        Probably some of the most myopic and inaccurate stereotyping I’ve ever seen on the internet.

        >Implying ROK and AKC are the same

        0/8 Kersey

        • Jak

          Got to love the projection in jon stone’s (Kersey’s) comment. Where have we written about Jews, immigrants, race, etc?
          I’ll wait.

      • Joseph Curwen

        Your ignorance is bottomless.

      • AutomaticSlim

        Michael Meyers / Gen Exile, is that you?

  • Consolation_of_Philosophy

    “Train it ’til you gain it.”

    Words to live by. I have always been lukewarm on the “fake it ’til you make it” mantra, because it implies intentional deception, and that you carry an attribute or accomplishment that is unearned. This new version is all about ownership and making development and accomplishment real.

    • I’ve always been against it too. Confidence comes from action.

      You’re faced with a task you have 2 options. Either run away like a coward, or face it, knowing you may fail. If you succeed, the confidence boost is second to none and your ability to handle problems increases. If you fail, you know how not to do something.

      • bem

        Confidence comes from action.
        YES.
        EVERYTHING comes from action, not intent, wishing, dreaming, faking, needing, wanting….DOING is the only thing that matters.

        • Boothe

          There are two kinds of people in this world, doers and drifters. Guess which ones stand a much better chance of getting what they want out of life?

          • dckhead_con_artist

            drifters? free rides, any gang of their choosing, being a convict, pull hot women and modelling contracts…

            • Boothe

              True, but they are doing something at that point. Whether it’s modeling or just banging hot chicks.

          • bem

            you forgot Jokers, smokers and/or midnight tokers (2nd Steve Miller reference this week!)

            • dckhead_con_artist

              and they always take the money and run..

            • to be fair, I believe he has about 11 songs that are just that song

              • bem

                He’s no Billy Joel.

                • Billy Joel
                  Boars Head Cold Cuts
                  Axe Body Spray
                  Coors Light
                  LIRR

                  they are the 5 families of long Island

                  Senior Coldcutzzo once tried to get billy joel into the drug business which set off the war of the 5 families.

                  • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                    boar’s head is still family-owned.

                    • bem

                      I tried to dik a girl who’s parents owned the company that built their distinctive truck bodies.

                    • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                      tried to slip her the old mortuh-dell?

                    • bem

                      Yeah well turns out well put together girls didn’t like sloppy losers back then.
                      Yup, RACISM……

                    • (g)Rapefruit

                      And you failed, of course.
                      You could have just (g)raped her….

                    • bem

                      O where were you when I needed you…..

                    • I don’t care if it is owned by a small family or Krang from TMNT that shit is pure concentrated evil

                    • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                      quality has gone down(yes, even more) in the past few years. the ham isnt edible anymore. cheeses are too salty

                    • there is not nor has there ever been any quality. It’s freaking disgusting. Want turkey? Buy a turkey breast and roast it. Same with everything else. Want cheese or a specialty meat, go to Schaller and Webber, Milano Market, Murray’s Cheese or any of the other great Charcuterie or cheese shops. Do not eat slime food

                    • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                      deli by me(which I went into only once) charges the same price for all sandwiches. on the computer thingy, it comes up as a flat MEAT rate. felt like having a bologna n cheese, fucker was $7. dude said nothing he could do, changed to roast beef n cheese. everything is the same price.
                      you shoulda seen be trying to explain to him why this was retarded

                    • should have ordered the Endangered Condor and Caviar Sandwich

                    • AutomaticSlim

                      “Want cheese or a specialty meat, go to Schaller and Webber, Milano Market, Murray’s Cheese or any of the other great Charcuterie or cheese shops. ”

                      Good lord!
                      You must spend money on food like I spend money on “walla-walla bing-bang”.

                    • bem

                      Still better than most commercial offerings….

                    • Be that as it may, the neurosis in people from long island, Islandia, allows these people to think that it makes sense to pay 3x the going cost of fresh roast cold cuts.

                      Boars head is disgusting.

                    • bem

                      We should start an Islandia Foundation. Raise money for its treatment. I can be a case study of how its possible to leave AND be happier!

                    • Still residual problems dealing with exposure to the brightwaters. Even if it is not full blown Shiny Cock, it is still bad enough to cause you to think that Billy Joel and Boar’s Head are acceptable — even if not preferable.

                    • bem

                      there is no cure. One can only be a recovering Islandiac.

                    • Agree 100%. They moved their disgusting food into my area and displaced a local company that I loved. I basically eat zero cold cuts other than a quick bite when making a sandwich for the kids, but fuck that boars head shit. I’d rather eat dog food.

                    • Best bet is to buy a turkey breast, a roast or whatever and make it and then slice it yourself. You can get a 99 dollar deli slicer at bed bath and beyond

                    • Consolation_of_Philosophy

                      It’ll turn your ass into hermit crabs.

        • I see it in many forms. Take the gym for example.

          I know many people who post gym memes online, buy the newest fad supplements and gym gear, look at “motivating” quotes etc, yet they almost never get in the gym and kill it.

          Fuck all the nonsense, get up, get it done, and GTFO

          • John Galt

            “..get up, get it done, and GTFO”

            Gym, work, chores, obligations, ramdom hook-ups with sluts, etc…

        • (g)Rapefruit

          Yes.
          EATING. The grapefruit is the most important part

  • UnreconstructedConfederate

    “Cool” is something you’re born with, like me. I feel sorry for the rest of you schumcks for getting left out but, I will let you hang out with me anyway.

  • Flaccid Carrot

    You should make it til you rake it.

    Only the truly wise will comprehend the essence of these words.

  • bem

    I like “Train It ‘Til You Gain It”. Good Stuff. Far better advice in that the operative verb is one of ACTION.
    Go.
    Do.

  • dckhead_con_artist
  • “Does it sound cheesy? Sure, a bit.”
    Actually Jak, I don’t think it sounds silly at all. As a life long believer that fake it till you make it is total bullshit, I think this is one of the best bits of advice I’ve seen ’round these parts.

    Now back to your regularly scheduled trolling.

    • Jak

      High praise coming from you. Heh. Now get out there and troll your heart out.

  • Boothe

    Training and practice are the only way to becoming proficient in any higher order skill set. Once you become proficient, then the self confidence comes naturally. I think if you look beyond the FITYMI slogan and read what most of the credible PUA “gurus” are telling you it is practice, practice, practice!

    Another important consideration is how you train. Using the author’s example of martial arts, if you train in one classic style and end up in a street fight, you may fare better than someone with no training. But you will not have an advantage over a thug who has been in numerous actual street fights. You want to train and practice for the potential threat or actual job you intend to do. .

    As the author points out, approach everything as a student. Others may see you as a master, but no matter how advanced we become in a given discipline, there is always more to learn. When you truly understand this, then humility will come naturally as well.

    • The problem with the PUA “GURUS” telling you “practice, practice, practice” is that they are telling you to practice the wrong shit. They tell you to practice for the success which follows rather than the training which leads to the success.

      I have never seen the PUA community as particularly helpful.

      It reminds me of something a professor said to me in college when I was being a total douchebag. He told me “you are smart and successful, you don’t have to act that way” and it is true. I don’t have to “act” like something I already am. The only time I have to act like something is if I am not that thing and this is something that, I believe, comes through all the time.

      There is a reason acting is considered an art. For you to believe that a dickhead like Bradd Pitt is someone like Tyler Durden takes a skill not dissimilar to hitting a 98 mile an hour curve ball for a line drive….both innate ability and well trained. For the vast majority of people, faking something or acting in a way they are not will lead to the same results as a mediocre ball player getting to the plate and having that 98 mile an hour curve ball come at them….it ain’t pretty

      • The Champion

        I agree with the professor’s advice. Projecting confidence requires a stable foundation. Such a foundation is built through the cultivation of correct attitudes and skill sets.

        “Fake it till you make it” is poor advice because a socially awkward person with very little going for him cannot project the confidence of a successful man.

        • bem

          “Projecting confidence requires a stable foundation. Such a foundation is
          built through the cultivation of correct attitudes and skill sets.”
          Kids should have this tattooed backwards on their FACE, so every morning they read it in the mirror.
          Wisdom!

      • dckhead_con_artist

        you wear British Bespoke suits with a grey beard?

      • That’s a fast curve ball. I’d hate to see the 4-seamer

        • I think Noah Syndergaard was tossing curves at 95+ (might have been sliders)

      • Boothe

        Agreed. I merely used the PUA example since it was of a piece with FITYMI, not that their initial approach is correct. It’s just like shooting. If I start out by teaching you bad technique and poor form and you practice that over and over, you will never achieve your full potential. And will certainly never be an expert marksman. You must have a sound foundation to build on.

        But you can have the best instructor and training materials in the world and still never amount to shit because you didn’t practice. It’s like buying a power rack and Olympic weights, setting them up, reading the best books and watching the top videos on bodybuilding. Then sitting on your ass looking at the equipment expecting your muscles to grow. It ain’t never gonna happen until you put that knowledge into practice.

  • jon stone

    A quiet decent article.
    There are too many situations in life where the FITYMI is just not applicable.
    LIfe- most of the time – requires a more pro-active approach to solve problems.

  • dckhead_con_artist
    • bem
        • bem
        • cheeseburgercheeseburger

          Icy Hot Stunnaz! shit takes me back to 2002!

          • Their website is still up. Its like a time warp to that time. I can almost hear the shitty rap they were bumping back then.

            • Yeah, that was the worst thing since vanilla ice invented rap

              • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                alright, STOP

                • To collaborate and Listen?
                  In the Name of Love?
                  With my feet in the air and my head on the ground?
                  Is it hammer time?

                  • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                    youre dope on this board. are you magic on the mic

              • UnreconstructedConfederate

                Word to ya mutha.

            • Ainigmaris Thales

              There used to be a commercial, I think it was for car insurance maybe, where there was this young white kid showing off all the normal stuff in his white-bread middle-class house like he was on an episode of Cribs or something, like talking about the “fly whips” on his mom’s Nissan and shit. I used to laugh so hard at that commercial because I knew people exactly like that who were dead serious about it.

              • enjoy DLUX

                • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                  yep, thats what i was thinking of!

                • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                  “my dog Max. he one-third Rottweiler- he crazy.”
                  hahahaha

                • Ainigmaris Thales

                  THATS IT! LOL

                  • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                    right around the time this spot came out Coke launched a virtual world. logged on, created an avatar, everyone I met (about 43 people) were from Germany.

      • Around here you’re @disqus_tj7gjZttfg:disqus , a law-abiding night web site troller…not the notorious gangster Johnny Dangerously.

      • That’s weird looking cookie

        • Jim Johnson

          I hate white chocolate chips

          • (g)Rapefruit

            Shit ain’t even chocolate!
            Know what you’re eating.

            • Jim Johnson

              That’s what she said

          • bem

            racist…

      • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

        And remember folks, cultures are all equally valid and worthy of respect. Building Rome 2000+ years ago and modern society today in no way is superior to walking around with a fucking plate in your mouth, covered in sea shells and tin bracelets carting around a gun your people don’t even have the intellectual capacity to design. Nope. All equal.

    • Not gonna lie, 7 year old me would be about that straw

    • Ainigmaris Thales

      Y’all don’t know this, but that is actually bem in real life.

  • This may be my favorite article posted on this site. It challenges a statement parroted by so many in the sphere. There is a truth that every man knows and it is you cannot lie to yourself. You can lie to every other joker in the world, your woman, your family, but deep down you know that you’re a sham.

    A foundation built on lies will come crashing down hard.

    • dckhead_con_artist

      3 out 4 ain’t too bad..

    • Jak

      I aim to both entertain and educate.

      • We’re pretty different in that regard. I am to both educate and meme.

        • Jak

          Memes are entertaining so our doppelganger status remains intact.

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            I meme to force ugly fat people to kill themselves.

            • UWOTM8

              MEDIC

            • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

              You are the wind under my wings….

          • FUCK!

  • cheeseburgercheeseburger

    Id say fake it until you can know longer fake it. doesnt apply to every profession, but it does for entirely too many.
    also: check out Jean Claude Van-Johnson. he moonlights as a spy, making B movies is just his cover story. funny shite

    • Like when marge gives piano lessons? She only has to stay one lesson in front of her students

      • cheeseburgercheeseburger

        bluffing is a useful strategy. until it isnt anymore

        • The thing I wish I learned when I was younger was how much life was ahead of me. If I had spent 18-28 as a freaking monk doing absolutely nothing but self improvement and avoiding all temptations both chemical and vaginal I probably would be in a much better place now…as it is, I assumed my life was important during those years instead of realizing I was just an immature cunt

          • bem

            Our culture suggests that those years are the only ones that matter and that we are entitled to all the fun in the world.

            • UnreconstructedConfederate

              We aren’t all supposed to be movie, sports or recording artist rich stars? Dammit I knew something was wrong.

          • Iattacku

            Thanks kneeman. I am 23 so I have 5 years to monk mode my 20s

            • Thefourhorstmann

              Start with math

              • Iattacku

                Lol good one

          • UnreconstructedConfederate

            Yeah but between 18-28 I already knew everything there was to know. I didn’t realize until much later that I didn’t know doodly squat.

            • “I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now”

              • UnreconstructedConfederate

                I don’t understand the words when he sings it.

  • UnreconstructedConfederate

    Life ain’t that hard, show up to work on time, pay your bills, don’t name your kids Teddy or Twyla and everything will be ok.

    • bem

      (taking notes…)

      • UnreconstructedConfederate

        The rest is irrelevant, the Teddy and Twyla thing is most important, as long as you remember that, you’re all good.

        • bem

          (scratching out list furiously)

        • I always thought teddy was a nice name for a kid named Theodore as long as you stop calling him that after he is 12

          • UnreconstructedConfederate

            Well in all honesty I was going off adults that I’ve been aquatinted with whose name is Teddy, they were all fuck-ups( no offense to any present company who may be cursed with that name).

            • jammyjaybird

              Topher, Tyler, Jared. I’ve never known decent dudes with those names. Maybe they’re out there, but I doubt it.

              • UnreconstructedConfederate

                Some names are just cursed and that sticks with you forever.

                • A buddy of mine married a russian girl. He is a Dominican guy. This is years ago. Anyway, a bunch of us were sitting around his table having drinks and his wife was talking about baby names. She says she always liked “Stanislav” My buddy’s brother turns around with perfect timing and says “why don’t you just name the fucking kid douchebag”

                  • UnreconstructedConfederate

                    Talking about screwing a kid over forever… damn.

                    • They wound up going with a far more sensible name

                    • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                      mookie?

                    • a woman in my office has a black dachshund named Mookie. lol

                    • Lou Skunt

                      I knew a guy years ago named Windex.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Real name or nickname?

                    • Lou Skunt

                      Real name – on his driver’s license. No shit.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Wow, no shit. Do I have to ask the obvious question?

                    • Lou Skunt

                      Is it that obvious?

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      With a name like that, I guess I can just assume.

                    • Lou Skunt

                      Another good one, just this morning… the local tv weatherman gives birthday wishes to the viewers and he wished a Happy 3rd Birthday to: Tha’ Miracle Washington…

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      I’ve written and deleted no less than 3 responses to this.

                    • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                      guy on the Packers was named Atari. think he was a safety

                    • The best name, I shared with some guys here, was a woman at a city agency I was talking to back and forth. I sent her a follow up email

                      Dear Lasagna,
                      Thank you for bla bla bla

                      Turns out it was L’Sonya

                      I thought lasagna!whatcha gonna do

                    • Murdoc34

                      How was her real name eventually made known to you? Of course I’m hoping for some epic rant in a reply from her, but it’s probably not so dramatic.

                    • No. Just footer in response email. She never mentioned it.

                    • Murdoc34

                      Actually, that’s kind of funny, because there is no way she missed you calling her that in the greeting.

                    • (g)Rapefruit

                      Iamunique was one of the most ghetto ig’nant names ever.
                      They didnt eat grapefruit.
                      Probably claimed they lived in a “food desert”
                      Yea, that’s what happens when “the community” steals the store into oblivion.

                    • UnreconstructedConfederate

                      Ebolaniqua.

                    • John Galt

                      A friend of the family was a nurse and once told us about a hillbilly family that had a little girl. This was back in the 70s– anyway, when she brought the baby out to the family they exclaimed, “oh look. They even named her for us. fe-mal-ee.” The baby was wearing a pink wrist band with “female” on it.
                      We thought she was BSing, but said no. FEMALE was recorded on the birth cert as her first name.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      The Legend of Ima Hogg and her sister Ura Hogg.

                      “Texas legend insists that when Jim Hogg ran for re-election as Texas governor in 1892 he often travelled with his daughter Ima and a friend of hers and introduced them as his daughters Ima and Ura. Ima Hogg maintained throughout her life that this never happened. She was frequently forced to dispel the myth; hundreds of people wrote her letters inquiring whether her name was real and if she really had a sister named Ura.The Kansas City Star even invented another sister, Hoosa.”

                    • bem

                      probably good at EVERYTHING!

                    • UnreconstructedConfederate

                      Probably Oleg or something:)

                    • jammyjaybird

                      I knew a guy named Telemachus. He now goes by Tim.
                      I knew another guy named Theophilus. He now goes by Mustafa since he converted to Islam and moved to rural Malaysia.

                      Lesson: Don’t give your kid obscure Greek names. He’ll either change it or go looney-tunes.

                    • So, no Xenophon then? Dangit

                    • (g)Rapefruit

                      Yea. Like hipponax for example. Thata got to be the stupidest name of all time.

                    • Jim Johnson

                      Look it up on wiki. Hipponax is one of the coolest names of all time

                    • UnreconstructedConfederate

                      Reminds me of of dipsticks who name themselves after fruit that no one likes.

                    • (g)Rapefruit

                      Grapefruit is a superfood.
                      You would benefit from eating more.

                    • UnreconstructedConfederate

                      Grapefruit sucks, oranges are where it’s at.

                    • bem

                      If you’re Greek your name is:
                      Nick
                      George
                      Stav
                      Pete
                      Endl of list

                    • UnreconstructedConfederate

                      Pete is a Greek name? Who knew? Petes are everywhere here lol

                    • UnreconstructedConfederate

                      I ran into guy whose first name was Wil-Mart. (For real) He got really mad about people calling him Wal-Mart too.

                    • John Galt

                      Ever catch what some people are calling their kids today? There is a young relation of mine who was given a name that when I heard it I asked the mother, “you named her after a cheese?” (This side of the pond it’s called that anyway).

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Cheddar? Provolone? Feta? Gorgonzola?

                    • muzzadell

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Manchego

                    • Murdoc34

                      Cotija

                    • UnreconstructedConfederate

                      Guda?

                  • Ainigmaris Thales

                    My cousin married this pop-tart who got knocked up with twins about 5 months before he proposed. She wanted to name them Romeo and Juliet, even if they were both boys or girls. Luckily, God intervened and only one made it out of her severely battered womb alive. She named him Roman.

                    • oh that is celebrity level stupid

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Yup. But I can’t say too much bad about her because she was really just a whole bunch of fun in the sack. Chick just loved to fuck and was always happy and super excited about getting fucked.

                    • John Galt

                      Does your cousin know about your indepth knowledge about that topic or she the town bicycle?

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Both. I banged her well before she met him. I could easily have banged her after she met him, and after she married him, but I chose not to. It was damn difficult though.

                      I also banged her younger sister, but she was nowhere near as bubbly or enthusiastic during sex, which was very disappointing.

                    • John Galt

                      Slavic chicks. It’s a weakness of mine.

                      Maybe it’s me, but I always thought it wierd being invited to any wedding where I had previously banged the bride. It wasn’t by accident either, as the brides were the ones sending out invitations.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Yeah, any guy who is sitting on the bride’s side (and isn’t family or the date of the bride’s family or friend) is there because he used to bang the bride.

                    • John Galt

                      I know one guy named Roman who got divorced raped a few years ago. He’s not in a good place.

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      he’s also been confined to the produce section.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Come now, lettuce be nice.

                    • Murdoc34

                      He doesn’t carrot all what you say.

                • Ainigmaris Thales

                  Like naming your little girl Ashley. I’ve never met an Ashley who wasn’t a total cock fiend.

                • John Galt

                  Never met a dude named Brad that was worth a damn (in my travels).

                  • When picking a woman to date always be very careful if their name ends in a consonant. They are all bat shit crazy without exception. Not saying not to fuck them or that it isn’t possible to tame them, but they are all fucking nuts.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Any girl with a man’s name or nickname is almost guaranteed to be a slut. Like you literally cannot keep an Andi from sucking every dick she stumbles across.

                    • I knew one Charlie (Charlene) but this was when I was with a kid. I should check up on her.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      You should. Its a pretty much universal rule, and Charlene is a pretty slutty name on its own.

                    • What the hell would I want with a girl who was a kid when I was a kid?

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      To see if she had a kid 18+ years ago?

                    • John Galt

                      AWALT

                    • true Galt, true…but I tell you now…consonant as last letter of first name is a HUGE red flag

                  • bem

                    ABALT.

                • Jak

                  Naming your boy Sue seems pretty legit though if you plan on abandoning your family shortly after his birth.

                  • avoid mud, blood and beer

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      And keep your head on a swivel when drinking beer in Gatlinburg so that fucker doesn’t get the drop on you.

                  • UnreconstructedConfederate

                    My name is Sue, how do you do? Now you gonna die!

            • Helps that I’ve never met one I guess. I feel the same way about jimmys. Not Jims or Jameses, but adults who still go by “jimmy” (also, personal experience, no offense intended)

              • Murdoc34

                I met a 40ish Robbie, once.

                • That is just unacceptable.

                • UnreconstructedConfederate

                  Yeah when they get that old and are going by Robbie instead of Rob…. not a good sign.

              • UnreconstructedConfederate

                And anyone nicknamed “Taz”.

              • UnreconstructedConfederate

                I’ve known a couple of grown Jimmys that were pretty good cats so I will say Jimmy is 50/50.

                • Personal experience ruins things. I will give the next jimmy a chance.

                  • UnreconstructedConfederate

                    That’s cool, stay away from Twyla though.

                  • Jimmy Stewart?

                    • Never met him. For all I know he is a royal asshole

                    • He’s probably rotted away by now

                  • Jim Johnson

                    “I will give the next jimmy a chance” that’s what she said

              • bem

                Generally “-y” should be eliminated with the advent of pubic hair

          • UnreconstructedConfederate

            Recently I was watching a documentary about meth. An old hillbilly methfreak woman about 45 that looked about 70 picked up her kid(named Teddy) from prison and inside of a couple of hours they were shooting up together. While watching that it occurred to me that every other Teddy Ive known was the same way.

            • Those shows are just great. I was recently watching the one about people who are over 500 pounds. Dude on the show got kicked out of the hospital where he was supposed to get his gastric bypass for ordering a pizza.

              • Ainigmaris Thales

                In the world of really fat hamplanets, that’s considered a total baller move.

              • (g)Rapefruit

                Grapefruit can’t help that.
                He needs a 45 acp to the brainstem.

              • UnreconstructedConfederate

                The thing about those people is they all expect sympathy instead of tough love.
                They some hongry ass mofos thought.

                • Thats why Dr. Noz is so freaking awesome

                  • UnreconstructedConfederate

                    Reminds me of a couple I saw recently waiting on a train. It was pretty cold and they were hugged up in front of the train station. Their bellies were touching and each had their hands on the others upper arm because that was as far around as they could reach.

  • Murdoc34

    So, “TITYGI”?

    • bem

      titty guy?

      • Murdoc34

        Right. I’m not sure this wasn’t a solution in search of a problem. 😉

      • Jim Johnson

        More often than not titty guy end up with fatties.

        • Ainigmaris Thales

          I know a guy like that. He loves big tits so much, he doesn’t care how big a hambeast the tits are attached to.

          • Jim Johnson

            I like nice firm bags like anyone but if the package comes with a pooched belly at 25 she will be a lard ass by 40

            • Ainigmaris Thales

              This guy legit does not care how big the rest of her is. I think he’d roll up on one of those bed-bound super-fatties if her tits were big enough. He is kind of a weird dude, but if you are going out trolling for pussy, he is an ace to have in your crew, because the dude will happily dive on the grenade and motorboat the shit out of that bitch.

              • Jim Johnson

                Now that’s what I call a good wingman to have

                • Ainigmaris Thales

                  We used to call him Spanish Fly because so many guys got laid after he took down the fat friend.

                  • Jim Johnson

                    You suppose he was just justifying slumming it?

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Maybe, but he was pretty enthusiastic about it. The chicks were always happy as shit about it too. To be honest, he could and did legitimately get laid anytime, anywhere because he had no standards other than big tits. Fat, ugly, stupid, white, black… as long as she had big tits, he would fuck her, and he seemed to really enjoy it.

                    • Murdoc34

                      Hmm.. sounds this thread is going to need some pictures so nobody misunderstands exactly what you’re talking about here.

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      I think the stupid part may have compensated for the flub…stupid chicks are funny.

                    • Jim Johnson

                      No, we all know what fat chicks look like. No need to subjugate us

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Are you asking me to find pics of fat, ugly, stupid chicks with big tits?

                    • Jim Johnson

                      I normally don’t cuss but, DABNABBIT NO!

                    • Murdoc34

                      This, from the guy who replied “Probably tighter and cleaner than most girls in Los Angeles” when presented with a literal cum dumpster.

                    • Jim Johnson

                      Hypocrisy runs in my family. It’s not my fault

                  • dckhead_con_artist

                    I knew a guy who would hook up with travelling fatties at this high end hotel , that stocked rooms with expensive chocolates, pretend he liked them, fill his duffle bag full of the chocolates , then bolt out of the room. He did this religiously every few weeks.

                • Here’s an arm. Hey, here’s a leg. Here’s a wing. Hey, what do you like, the leg or the wing, Henry? Or do you still go for the old hearts and lungs?

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            Big titties are only acceptable on bikini chick quality women. I’m pretty firm on this rule.

            • UnreconstructedConfederate

              Noooo! You left out the “thick” girls. Not fat ones mind you, just thick. There is a difference, a big one (no pun intended). Thick girls have real curves, not rolls.
              Rolls=bad
              Curves=good

        • big tits and fattits (one word) are not the same thing.

          • Jim Johnson

            They are the same to a guy who can’t do better

    • (g)Rapefruit

      Beef Is Gross Unethical and Yucky

      • bem

        BIGUY?

      • UnreconstructedConfederate

        Beef, it’s what’s for dinner… unless you’re a pussy.
        Unethical…… gtfo

        • (g)Rapefruit

          Its reference to a vanity license plate on a strangely attired van in a cartoon featuring norm macdonald

          • GhostOfJefferson ✓ᴺᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰᵃˡᶦˢᵗ

            This is lolknee. Called it first.

            • bem

              I thought YOU were lolknee. Or bem or something…

              • dckhead_con_artist

                I thought you were laying?

                • bem

                  whenever possible

              • The FO3 level autistic paranoia seems to be spreading.

                • dckhead_con_artist

                  The most common symptoms of citric acid overdose include stomach cramps or pain, diarrhea, nausea or vomiting, loss of appetite, increased sweating and swelling, and pain in the abdominal or stomach area. In rare cases, yellow eyes or skin may occur.
                  Seizures and convulsions are also possible. It is important that you seek medical help if you have any of these symptoms.

                  • Sounds like the symptoms of divorce, talking to morons and listening to crossfitters tell you about working out as well.

                • Ainigmaris Thales

                  Wait, what are you saying? Why do you think I’m paranoid? Are you watching me? Are you looking at me right now from behind that bookcase over there???

              • Ainigmaris Thales

                I AM BEM

                • bem

                  YOU ARE!

                  • Ainigmaris Thales

                    NOYOUARE

            • Jim Johnson

              Who is? Fruity boy? No way. I haven’t seen an intelligent comment come out of him yet.

              • dckhead_con_artist

                his excuse is that fruit don’t think but he knows quite a bit about our mothers.

            • Ainigmaris Thales

              No, there’s way-way-way too much repressed self-hatred and rage.

              EDIT: Also, lolknee would never use the word “Yucky” even for a bit.

            • Murdoc34

              No. I am 120% sure it’s Chip Baskets. I thought about it some more, and am completely convinced. The style, the tone, all there, all Chip. If it isn’t Chip, I’ll eat my hat.

              • what is your hat made of. The veracity of your claim greatly depends on the type of hat.

                Case in point:
                https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/27539a8faa1234ee7033ede3bbb3a1df3738e06dbe8c5914f1e5df72bdadf51c.gif

                • Murdoc34

                  Okay, well, I don’t own a hat. But that’s not the point. It’s Chip Baskets, I’m telling you!

                  Fine, I’ll consider buying a hat if that makes you feel better. Probably a straw hat. Even though there is no chance I will have to eat it.

                • Ainigmaris Thales

                  I vote this for Featured Comment of the thread.

              • cheeseburgercheeseburger

                nah, its dr jeep

              • Ainigmaris Thales

                I’m 87.3% sure I know who it is, but there is one thing holding me back from saying it. I don’t think its Chip though.

                • well between you ant @recrop34:disqus you are 207.3% sure….those are pretty good odds.

                  • Ainigmaris Thales

                    Yeah, I like our chances. Now we just need a bookie who will take this bet.

                    • Murdoc34

                      First I’m going to hire an outside consulting firm to produce an opposition research dossier outlining all the reasons you are wrong. Stand by.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Well, I’m going to hire my next door neighbor’s Uncle Earl to come kick you in the shin until you cry and admit you are wrong. Stand by.

                    • Joe the greek doesn’t pay fanucci ugatz but someone else probably collects for Masaria

  • Lou Skunt

    Great article Jak. I was never comfortable with the term Fake it ’til you Make it. Train it ’til you Gain it is much more reasonable.

    Fact is, creating anything of real value is not something that can be accomplished with fakery and deception – it takes effort, tremendous effort. You’ve got to put in the work, you’ve got to put in the hours, there’s no way around it – Perfect Practice Makes Perfect.

  • (g)Rapefruit

    You can’t fake good nutrition.
    Grapefruit is a wise choice any time of day.
    Anybody have some grapefruit this morning?

    • Jak

      Nope. I’ve been fasting since 8:00PM last night.

      • (g)Rapefruit

        Ehhhhhhhhhh.
        Fasting is a gimmick.
        Just eat healthy foods in the quantity your body needs for your activities.
        Meal timing isn’t all that important.
        Besides, you fast when you sleep

        • Jak

          “Fasting is a gimmick” says the guy telling us to eat grapefruits every day.

          • (g)Rapefruit

            I never said every day.
            although, you could do a lot worse.

    • UnreconstructedConfederate

      Grapefruit sucks, oranges are where it’s at.

      • I prefer apples or bananas

        • Ainigmaris Thales

          I hate fruits.

          • Self-reproach is always sad to see

            • Ainigmaris Thales

              Nah, I legitimately hate fruit.

              • My sister is like that

                • Ainigmaris Thales

                  [Insert generic incest joke here]

                  • Jim Johnson

                    (See above)

          • (g)Rapefruit

            Clearly, that stems from your insecurities about being gay.
            Its ok thales, its never been more acceptable to be gay.
            You might be surprised how accepting your family will be when you finally come out of the closet.
            You’re still going to he’ll.
            But you might as well be your true gay self.
            And eat some grapefruit.
            Its good for fags and real people too.

            • Silly faggot. Dicks are for chicks

              • (g)Rapefruit

                Tell him that

        • Jim Johnson

          Chicks dig bananas and cucumbers for some unexplained reason

          • UnreconstructedConfederate

            Reminds me of a story-
            These two country boys got drafted into the military back in the day. Their mother had been to town and bought them some bananas for a treat( they had never before eaten bananas). While on the train one of them decided to try a bite of his banana. About the time he took his first bite, the train went into a tunnel. He started yelling,” Hey!Hey! Did you eat your bananer yet?” The other said no, he said,” well don’t you do it! I took one bite of mine and went stone blind!”.

      • (g)Rapefruit

        Oranges are a good option as well.

        • dckhead_con_artist

          you’re such a pussy, afraid of other queer fruits?

          • (g)Rapefruit

            Would that make me a homofruitophobe?

            • Murdoc34

              Do you enjoy stuff like watching a chick pea?

            • UnreconstructedConfederate

              It doesn’t make you a moron, you were born that way.

              • (g)Rapefruit

                That’s not what I asked, dummy

                • UnreconstructedConfederate

                  You’re still a fruity moron.
                  I mean hell, we come here to shoot the breeze in a good way and have a good time, you just come here to fuck with people, why is that? I mean, we don’t come to gay bars knocking dicks out of your mouth when you’re having a good time.

                  • (g)Rapefruit

                    I’m here to spread sound nutritional advice.
                    And I have. I have also been on topic with some comments.
                    I have not started the shit talking with anyone.
                    They drew first blood. Not me.

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      blood orange …grapefruits don’t have blood, you abortion!

                    • UnreconstructedConfederate

                      You don’t have sound advice to spread, grapefruit doesn’t have blood, dickweed.

                    • Jim Johnson

                      You are mistaken, he only smokes dickweed. That does not make him one.

                    • UnreconstructedConfederate

                      He smokes one after the other.

                    • Jim Johnson

                      I wonder if he’s tried pigweed

                    • UnreconstructedConfederate

                      His mom smokes those lol

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      blood? you’re a gay virgin ? we will let you top next time

            • dckhead_con_artist

              why do you have to ask about your own sexual orientation?

              • Jim Johnson

                Need a PhD to figure some things out these days

                • dckhead_con_artist

                  he just recently came out of the pantry.

                  • Jim Johnson

                    Doubt it. He couldn’t get into anyone’s pantries.

                    • “He couldn’t get into anyone’s pantries.”

                      sooo freaking good

              • (g)Rapefruit

                Damn you’re stupid.
                Whateverphobe isn’t a sexual orientation.its an irrational fear.
                Btw, straight men should be scared of fags, they spread the aids. Especially the down low fags that spread the aids to straight people.
                For the record, grapefruits are self pollinating.

                • dckhead_con_artist

                  so you masturbate a lot? that explains a lot

    • dckhead_con_artist
      • Ainigmaris Thales

        WB.

        • Jim Johnson

          Probably tighter and cleaner than most girls in Los Angeles

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            Smarter and more pleasant to hang out with, too.

            • Jim Johnson

              And they don’t empty your wallet

              • Ainigmaris Thales

                The smell is probably just about the same, too.

                • Jim Johnson

                  You would need Stanley Spidalski’s mop to clean out something so vile

      • (g)Rapefruit

        Your mother has nothing to do with me

        • Jim Johnson

          Your mothers skin is in that dumpster covered in mold

          • (g)Rapefruit

            My mother is a tree, you fucking idiot.

            • Jim Johnson

              Sorry I mistook your sister for your mom….again

            • UnreconstructedConfederate

              Your mother is a pig weed.

              • Jim Johnson

                My great grandma talked about eating pig weed and dandelion during the depression

              • (g)Rapefruit

                I dont know what that is.
                My mother is a grapefruit tree.

                • Jim Johnson

                  “I don’t know what that is”

                • UnreconstructedConfederate

                  My mistake, your mother is a kudzu vine.

                  • (g)Rapefruit

                    Vines don’t produce fruit.
                    Idiot

                    • UnreconstructedConfederate

                      Never heard of grapes before you incredible nincompoop?

            • dckhead_con_artist

              so dogs pee on her…quite an upgrade

              • Jim Johnson

                I peed on her. I thought she was into that kink.

                • dckhead_con_artist

                  me too but the fire ants on her crotch attacked me

                  • Jim Johnson

                    That hurts, she told me I was only her second.

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      we better check by the number of rings on her trunk!

              • (g)Rapefruit

                Better than fucking dogs, like your mother.

                • dckhead_con_artist

                  I would hope my mother is better than fucking dogs… hooked on p[h]onics bro..hooked on p[h]onics.

                  • I was hooked on phonics for years. Had to do a 12 steps programming to gets those monkey off my baks

                    • dckhead_con_artist

                      I use a “jump to conclusions” mat for every test.

                    • Art

                      The junkies can still be heard debating the finer points of snorting, smoking or injecting – until an elderly psychedelics sage moots it all by pointing out:

                      Reading Is Fundamental.

        • dckhead_con_artist

          she wouldn’t, she’s not attracted to hooked on phonics dropouts

          • (g)Rapefruit

            I bes a gooder speller then you

            • dckhead_con_artist

              sounds like you got a cock in your mouth. hope you’re at least getting a meal out of it.

              • (g)Rapefruit

                Only a fag would say something like that.
                Have fun with your aids, fag.

                • dckhead_con_artist

                  you sound angry, dude came in your mouth and flipped you a quarter?

                  • (g)Rapefruit

                    I’m not angry at all.
                    Project much?
                    I genuinely hope you have fun with your aids, fag. As in, die soon.

      • That one wont fit nearly enough babies in it

    • UnreconstructedConfederate

      You’re a fruit flys bitch.

  • dckhead_con_artist
    • Iattacku

      who is vegas dave

      • dckhead_con_artist

        Self proclaimed millionaire who supposedly won million dollar sports bets … mostly got notoriety by stealing social security numbers

        • Iattacku

          he still not as much of a con as my boy madoff

  • UnreconstructedConfederate

    OT- the TV is on in the office, not sure of the name of the show but, Julie Chen is on it with no makeup. That stuff has been working miracles on her for a long time. Her looks could scare blind kids.
    I can’t tell any difference with the fat black chick.

    • Toby. Toby Toby? Toby Wong. Toby Wong? Toby Wong. Toby Chung fuckin’ Julie Chen. I’ve got @g_rapefruit:disqus comin’ out of my left ear…and Julie the Jap– I don’t know what–comin’ out of my right.

      • cheeseburgercheeseburger

        time to work some coen bros quotes into the mix. Id say start with Miller’s Crossing

        • You can’t direct genius. This isn’t just putting a hammer to a nail man. This is art.

          • cheeseburgercheeseburger

            why do I have to be Mr Pink?

            • UnreconstructedConfederate

              Because you’re a faggot, alright?

      • UnreconstructedConfederate

        Fucking Charli Chan

    • Jim Johnson

      I would go Pabst here and post Motley Crue’s “looks that kill” but I’m lazy

  • Shameless Plug….you will want to check this one out guys. Lots of people complain about their traps. Here is a blog post along with a traps isolation workout which will blow those fuckers up and give you that ruthless, brute strength look

    https://teamwbfitness.com/2018/01/11/fall-into-the-trap/

    • Ainigmaris Thales

      I’ll do you the favor of posting this here instead of in the actual comments to your article…

      Are traps gay?

      • bem

        I look to you for what’s gay (everyone, everything) and what’s not.

        • Ainigmaris Thales

          Your mommas gay

          • bem

            fuk her anyway

            • Ainigmaris Thales

              Soon as I get enough flour to roll her in so I can find the wet spot, I will.

              • bem

                knock yourself out you sick fuk

                • Ainigmaris Thales

                  That was a legit low-key yo momma’s so fat joke and you know it

                  • bem

                    a classic!
                    like
                    yo momma’s so fat she cut herself shaving and gravy came out.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      The first yo momma’s so fat joke I ever heard as a kid was the sits around the house one, and it took me like three minutes to figure out what it meant. The other kid kept saying “Get it? She sits AROUND the house?” over and over again until I finally got it.

                    • bem

                      I got this one from MAD magazine when I was 11:
                      Yo momma’s so fat she keeps her diaphragm in a pizza box.
                      It was another YEAR until I got it….

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      lol, that’s a good one. Damn, I miss being a kid.

                    • bem

                      yo mommas so fat she don’t go to a doctor, she goes to a groundskeeper!
                      being a kid sukked – no money, no pussy, no car, and you’re shorter than everyone.

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      Shit, when I was a kid, I didn’t know I needed money so I didn’t care about having none, I didn’t know that I wanted pussy yet so I wasn’t missing out, I had a bike that could get me anywhere on the planet, and I only cared about being taller than other kids when we played basketball.

                    • bem

                      so you were like born gay?

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      YOU ARE

                    • Jim Johnson

                      that was ripped off a Weird Al tape. I believe it was the “Dare to be Stupid” album.

                    • Murdoc34

                      That gag is used in ‘Fat’ (on Even Worse) as a background line: “When I sit around the house I really sit around the house”. I can’t immediately recall him using it earlier than that (say, on Dare To Be Stupid), but I don’t think it would matter because I’d have to believe the joke predates all of his work by quite some time.

                    • That was a classic album

                    • while it isn’t a yo mamma, my favorite fat joke was from Rodney

                      “oh my wife, she is so fat. Oh man is she fat. I met her at the thanksgiving day parade. She was wearing ropes”

                    • Yo mamma reminds me of a bowling ball…she gets fingered, thrown in the gutter and comes back for more

                    • Ainigmaris Thales

                      AMALT.

              • oooo thats an oldie but goodie

      • no way!

    • UnreconstructedConfederate

      Back home, we use traps to catch coons and possums.

      • Ainigmaris Thales

        We just use the interstate.

        • bem

          You people hunt armadillos with trucks…..

          • Ainigmaris Thales

            “swerving” =/= “hunting”

        • UnreconstructedConfederate

          The interstate gives you enough room to get a good running start.

      • dckhead_con_artist
        • Ainigmaris Thales

          That guy just don’t know. Shrugging 24/7.

          • dckhead_con_artist

            grapefruit implants

            • Ainigmaris Thales

              Shrug life.

        • UnreconstructedConfederate

          He kinda looks like a lizard, I bet he can eat flies without even gagging.

    • dckhead_con_artist

      that’s the same statement ISIS uses in their training camps