Should You Fake It ‘Til You Make It?

For those of us in the Red Pill community, we’ve heard a ton of advice regarding self-improvement, especially how to maintain frame and gaming women. The phrase “Fake it ’til you make it (FITYMI)” is a mantra that floats around many circles when a novice asks for advice on improving their confidence, but what are the implications of such advice?

Are we really setting ourselves and others up for self-sabotage down the road?

Is there a better method?

These will be the questions we are going to address in today’s article.

The Light and Dark Sides of FITYMI

As with most advice and opinions, there are two camps pitted against each other: Those who approve of the advice and those who don’t.

Those who approve of the Fake It ‘Til You Make It approach argue that it forces you to put yourself into situations you may find uncomfortable and ACT how you want to be.

If you want to be confident, outgoing, and charismatic, you “fake” those qualities in public until you “make it” and they become second nature.

As many of you can deduce, it’s near impossible to fake certain qualities such as charisma and, to a lesser extent, confidence.  You might be able to plaster a smile on your face and approach that group on the other side of the room, but the subtle cues your body and voice will give off will sabotage you every time.

That’s not to say the Fake It ‘Til You Make It approach is without merit.  It does force you to confront your fears and gradually become comfortable with them, but it doesn’t address an underlying issue we’ll discuss later.

In contrast, those against the FITYMI philosophy argue you shouldn’t be faking anything.  You should simply BE confident, outgoing, and charismatic.

Again, under some close scrutiny, this notion is silly as well.  I can’t just hand a new student at my dojo a black belt and tell them to BE a black belt.  They’ll have no clue what to do and how to do it.

The Real Issue With FITYMI

Both sides hover extremely close to the true answer to this philosophy, but neither quite gets it right and here’s why.

As we discussed in my article earlier this week about personal integrity and the Nice Guy condition, both sides push men to be something they’re not in disingenuous ways.

One side tells you to be a phony in order to improve yourself while the other side tells you to simply BE something that you aren’t yet.  Both camps will put an individual’s subconscious in a state of cognitive dissonance, adding to the stress and pressure they’re probably already experiencing with their dilemma.

Be this even though you’re not.

The Solution

So does this mean that the FITYMI approach to overcoming obstacles should be avoided.  Not entirely.  As I stated earlier, it does have it’s positives although it doesn’t address the impact being a faker has on your self-image.

What I propose is a tweak to the FITYMI principle and how you view it:

Train It ‘Til You Gain It

Does it sound cheesy?  Sure, a bit.  However, this slight alteration completely changes how you view improving whatever skill you’re working on whether it’s being more confident, outgoing, etc.

Let me illustrate.  You don’t walk into a gym on your very first day and begin stacking weights like a power lifter.  You gradually build up to it, getting a bit stronger each time and learning what does and doesn’t work.

Likewise, if you approach social dynamics as a student rather than a con-artist, your mind and your goals will be completely different.  A setback or loss no longer makes you feel like a failure.  Rather, it’s an opportunity to assess and learn what went wrong and how you can improve for your next encounter.

This kind of advice should be a no-brainer, but sadly there are many young men out there desperate for answers and take any advise from our community a little too literally with little critical thinking.

I don’t fault them.  A man unhappy with his life can go to extremes in their attempts to change their lot in life.  What I’m hoping articles like this will do is help them realize that life doesn’t always need to be so serious, that they don’t need to be so be so harsh on themselves when they fall short.

Life, like a hobby or game, is to be enjoyed.  That doesn’t mean it won’t take some hard work to get to the level that you want to be at, but learn to enjoy the journey rather than be constantly fretting over your every move.

Author: Jak

Jak, married and father of three, seeks to help the Red-Pill Community take its next step past the petty cynicism and ineffectual anger. While he recognizes that men are significantly handicapped by the modern legal system and culture, he doesn't accept that traditional marriage is untenable in today's social climate. Rather, men must be willing to adapt to this new world by implementing new tactics and approaches to maintaining a balance of power. Jak is here to provide you with these lessons.

590 thoughts on “Should You Fake It ‘Til You Make It?”

  1. A common misconception is there are successful guys who are comfortable in their situation. Nope, they became successful by pushing their envelope. If you fail to push you are comfortable, but become soft. Comfort is for women and manginas.

    1. Exactly. Faking it means failing many many times, and many many people laughing at you, until you do eventually catch the thing you’re chasing — in this case, charisma. Someone called game “learned charisma”. That’s the best definition I’ve ever heard.

      Will you ever stand on a stage and enrapture an audience with learned charisma? No, only natural charisma does that. Will you ever watch an attractive woman’s pupils dilate when she looks at you? Her tongue involuntarily wet her lips? Yes, you will, and that’s what *learned* charisma gets you.

      I’m not naturally charismatic, but I’ve learned it over the years, and now it comes second nature. Here’s two quick shortcuts to learned charisma: 1) In public, entertain yourself first and foremost. 2) Dance with your hips, not your arms. Women notice both of these things at a primal level. You’re welcome.

      1. “In public, entertain yourself first and foremost”

        Tis true. When I’m playing the guitar or acting in a skit if I worry about the people in the audience I get wooden and stiff. When I lose myself in what I’m doing and don;t even notice the crowd is when it all flows. That’s when people notice

        1. I’ve experienced that during my short stint in theatre during my senior year of high school. If I just ignored the audience and did my thing, my performance was much better.

      2. Dancing with the hips is absolutely correct. White Guy dancing with the arms went out in the 1980’s, if it was even really a thing then.

        Your first suggestion is also gold. I do jokes and conversation to entertain myself normally, and it works like a charm.

  2. “In contrast, those against the FITYMI philosophy argue you shouldn’t

    be faking anything. You should simply BE confident, outgoing, and
    charismatic.Again, under some close scrutiny, this notion is silly as well. I
    can’t just hand a new student at my dojo a black belt and tell them to
    BE a black belt. They’ll have no clue what to do and how to do it.”

    Agree 100% and have said something similar on ROK many times: You cannot “be confident” without anything to base it on. Just walking around with an attitude makes one look like a jerk.

    “Train It ‘Til You Gain It”

    Great advice. I hope the young guys here take note. This type of stuff is what websites like these are all about. I wish I had this type of knowledge font and sounding board when I was in my late teens and early twenties. Things could have went so differently for me.

    If any young guys with a few issues here, listen to this advice!

    1. “I wish I had this type of knowledge font and sounding board when I was
      in my late teens and early twenties. Things could have went so
      differently for me.”
      YUP, but fuk it – going forward, make each day a microcosm of the life you want to live.

    2. Yup….wanna see a good example of fake it till you make it, look at any woman in an corporate exec position who, instead of asking questions and leading a team looks to make others look bad to make herself look better. This is not a goal to strive for.

              1. Y’know even at 5 yrs old watching that movie in the theaters I took that to be a lesson in ‘Shut The Fuk UP’

                  1. but they are all clones of the same guy so they would all have the same fave meal: ton-ton soup with gorgonzolla cheese.
                    how hard is it to butcher a ton-ton, esp if you have a light sabre?

    3. A sensible comment.
      However, you have to understand something that applies most reader, both here and on ROK.
      Your average American/Canadian poster here and on ROK are:


      Rural (Remote rural often)

      Young (Some as young as 17 and posing as 40 year olds)

      Middle class at best (In the US this means not terribly well-educated by your standards)

      Employed in fairly thankless occupations, though some high-paying.

      Have had bad experiences with US minorities, if at all

      Rarely met Asians

      Never been more than 30 miles away from their hometown

      Use the word “Jews” to refer to all Caucasians from major cities on the NYC-Chicago-LA axis

      While you can “Train it till you gain it” in NYC. – for most of these guys “FITYMI” is the only remaining option.
      You have extremely limited option in a dying former mining town in Kentucky or a post-industrial shithole in southern Ohio. Where Walmart is the main employer. Where the pretty girls are either with Chad or become mud sharks. Where you either secure a girl by the time you turn 18 or you might end up an incel for the rest of your life. They wonder why the jobs just won’t come despite the fact Trump promised it otherwise. Some of them may end up overdosing themselves on fentanyl in some disused steel mill. They blame Jews and immigrants for the problem – failing to realize that no Jew or immigrant would stop to piss in these towns these guys inhabit.
      For most of these guys FITYMI is the only hope.

          1. hope not thailand; poster on the other site lived there, new dictator wasnt a fan of foreigners. was worried he’d get booted out

          1. you know the end is nigh if you ever saw an occidental working in an oriental restaurant

                  1. Hey, whataya gonna do, nice college boy, eh? Didn’t want to get mixed up in the Family pejoratives, huh? Now you wanna gun down @cheeseburgercheeseburger:disqus , why, because he made a little racist joke? Hah? What do you think this Jezebel, where you destroy his character from a mile away for making a joke? You’ve gotta get up close like this and bada-bing! you blow his reputation all over your nice Ivy League suit. Come’re…You’re taking this very personal, this is business and you are taking it very, very personal.

                    1. @wbfitness:disqus, wait a minute. I’m talking about a commenter — that’s mixed up in trolling – I’m talking about a dishonest troll — a crooked troll who got mixed up in the demographics and got what was coming to him.
                      That’s a terrific story. And we have newspaper people on the

                      payroll, don’t we, WB?

            1. Seen it happen couple of times in San Francisco around 2005…
              White girls working in Chinese restaurants, that is.

              1. Damn you are correct I remember going into a CiCis in Nashville and thought I walked into Los Pollos Hermanos

            1. I go back on occassion, but NAFTA finished off the last remnants of industry in my corner of the woods a long time ago.

      1. Okay here goes:

        Your generalizations are trash. I personally had basically a shitty fucking chance to make it in life and I did. You claim that the hot girls are with chads, so what the fuck are they doing that you are not. You can blame anyone you want for failing or being a piece of shit but at the end of the day SOMEONE is killing it out there who had the same or worse circumstances and did it.

        Blaming anyone else but yourself for failure will always leave you in a pit of shit.

          1. So exactly proving my point, you did something to make your situation better. All those drug addicted fuckers bitching and complaining yet doing nothing to improve their situation can get FUKT.

            1. No offense, but couldn’t he just move to a better part of America? This is like stepping off a pile of shit and jumping right into a sewer.

                1. Even back in the 1990s was evident that the average Italian businessman such as Versace was a lot more educated and sophisticated than some dick grabbing guido from New Jersey…

              1. I found better quality of life and better quality of women in SEA than I would have in NYC, LA or Miami.
                Life is also pretty safe in most part of SEA.

                1. I hope you aren’t gonn abe one of those guys that constantly promotes Thailand or something. Please don’t mention ladyboys because almost every ROK guy that mentions Thailand claimed to have had fun with them

              2. He could have, but he did what he though was right. I don’t really give a shit if you move to the next town over or the other side of the world, he made his own life better. That is the heart of my original response to him. He was trying to make excuses for people but hes living proof that the people he was trying to “stand up for” are full of shit.

          2. I’d posit you were that Thai guy, but he was British. Don’t think you’re kersey, he wouldn’t move anywhere that wasn’t Africa, and Pabst is busy being miserable in NY.

        1. It would be interesting however to compare the real biographies of our TrollShip. I think you’d see quite a broad cross section.

        2. I personally think we need to help people who WANT blue collar jobs. We need those people and we, as Americans, should be chastising those who move factories to China or Mexico. The CEOs of some companies, like GM, may have worked hard to get their positions but they didn’t build those companies from the ground up. They should be held accountable for moving parts overseas that employed hundreds of thousands in Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, KY, and WV.

          1. The question here, as always is how much social responsibility does a private, commercial entity “owe”?
            Technically none.

              1. Yeah — let’s talk business, dckhead. First of all, you’re all done. GM don’t even have that kind of muscle anymore. The General’s sick, right? He’s getting chased out of Michigan by Ford and the other Families —

                What do you think is going on here?

                You think you can come to my factory and take over? — I talked to Elon Musk — I
                can make a deal with him, and still keep my plant!

                  1. Their stock is at $338/share, today. Makes me think that their business is selling stock, not selling cars.

                    1. i just know the Musk has to constantly bail out tesla with the money he makes from other businesses.

          2. Best policy would be for government to do nothing. By that I mean stop injecting worthless paper into our money supply, stop overburdening is with regulation, tax, stop playing favoritism in workplace, stop with the useless environmental regulations etc

          3. Blue collar workers of yesterday are like the average man today. Do most the work, get the least respect and get taken advantage of. Therefore they moved out of that into white collar or no work. Now there are few tradesman to learn from

          4. not happening. its a FIRE economy. also: apps! I think we need a tinder-style app that matches iluminati members’ blood type with that of desperate proles eager to sell them their blood. its a limited market(teenagers only, thats the good stuff)….swipe right for Type O negative, get a commission on each pint sold…thoughts?

          5. The Teamsters and UAW unions has a big role in all that, but I would agree to incentivize businesses to stay instead of chasing them out of the country with over regulations, taxes and mandates. Watch California in the near future– Brown and his Party is taking them to Venezuela.

          1. I’m sure it’s a coincidence. Kersey, for all his faults, does try to pay attention to spelling and grammar.

                    1. I was actually sad to see him go. He mentioned not caring if an Asian chick ends up being a tranny. He left after the inevitable shit storm

                    2. He’s still there. Still funny as hell too.
                      Uses a different screen name.
                      Every now and then he will still post a “ladyboy” comment, but not that often.

                    3. Which did you agree with more? A. Getting lap dances from pre-op trannies, or B. Getting lap dances from post-op trannies?

                    4. Fun to converse with, wouldn t hang out with the guy (of course, I could say that about a lot of you fuckers)

          1. Just because I think your comment is dumb, much like a guy who sticks his tongue to a frozen pole is dumb, it doesn’t mean you hit a nerve.
            Words on a screen don’t hurt me, chief.

          2. Why do you care so much about a few angsty basement dwellers who pose as 40 year olds online?

            “Fake it till you make it” is shit advice and the desperation of losers doesn’t change this.

            1. Guess what, fuckweed, I am, still living the life in South East Asia while you are stuck for the rest of your life is the Rust Belt, no wife , no kids.
              Yes, keep blaming me…or the Jews.

              1. Who’s whining about Jews? And if you’re living the life, why the hell did you come here and bitch?

          1. CONFIRMED KERSEY, this is his typical response. I know you are but what am I lol

            Damn I thought the Ukratian would have done you in by now.

      2. FYI the only word in your list of descriptors that applies to me is “white”. But thanks for the comment; it does accurately describe a certain fraction of our nation.

      3. Probably some of the most myopic and inaccurate stereotyping I’ve ever seen on the internet.

        >Implying ROK and AKC are the same

        0/8 Kersey

        1. Got to love the projection in jon stone’s (Kersey’s) comment. Where have we written about Jews, immigrants, race, etc?
          I’ll wait.

  3. “Train it ’til you gain it.”

    Words to live by. I have always been lukewarm on the “fake it ’til you make it” mantra, because it implies intentional deception, and that you carry an attribute or accomplishment that is unearned. This new version is all about ownership and making development and accomplishment real.

    1. I’ve always been against it too. Confidence comes from action.

      You’re faced with a task you have 2 options. Either run away like a coward, or face it, knowing you may fail. If you succeed, the confidence boost is second to none and your ability to handle problems increases. If you fail, you know how not to do something.

      1. Confidence comes from action.
        EVERYTHING comes from action, not intent, wishing, dreaming, faking, needing, wanting….DOING is the only thing that matters.

        1. There are two kinds of people in this world, doers and drifters. Guess which ones stand a much better chance of getting what they want out of life?

          1. drifters? free rides, any gang of their choosing, being a convict, pull hot women and modelling contracts…

                1. Billy Joel
                  Boars Head Cold Cuts
                  Axe Body Spray
                  Coors Light

                  they are the 5 families of long Island

                  Senior Coldcutzzo once tried to get billy joel into the drug business which set off the war of the 5 families.

                    1. quality has gone down(yes, even more) in the past few years. the ham isnt edible anymore. cheeses are too salty

                    2. there is not nor has there ever been any quality. It’s freaking disgusting. Want turkey? Buy a turkey breast and roast it. Same with everything else. Want cheese or a specialty meat, go to Schaller and Webber, Milano Market, Murray’s Cheese or any of the other great Charcuterie or cheese shops. Do not eat slime food

                    3. deli by me(which I went into only once) charges the same price for all sandwiches. on the computer thingy, it comes up as a flat MEAT rate. felt like having a bologna n cheese, fucker was $7. dude said nothing he could do, changed to roast beef n cheese. everything is the same price.
                      you shoulda seen be trying to explain to him why this was retarded

                    4. “Want cheese or a specialty meat, go to Schaller and Webber, Milano Market, Murray’s Cheese or any of the other great Charcuterie or cheese shops. ”

                      Good lord!
                      You must spend money on food like I spend money on “walla-walla bing-bang”.

                    5. Be that as it may, the neurosis in people from long island, Islandia, allows these people to think that it makes sense to pay 3x the going cost of fresh roast cold cuts.

                      Boars head is disgusting.

                    6. We should start an Islandia Foundation. Raise money for its treatment. I can be a case study of how its possible to leave AND be happier!

                    7. Still residual problems dealing with exposure to the brightwaters. Even if it is not full blown Shiny Cock, it is still bad enough to cause you to think that Billy Joel and Boar’s Head are acceptable — even if not preferable.

                    8. Agree 100%. They moved their disgusting food into my area and displaced a local company that I loved. I basically eat zero cold cuts other than a quick bite when making a sandwich for the kids, but fuck that boars head shit. I’d rather eat dog food.

                    9. Best bet is to buy a turkey breast, a roast or whatever and make it and then slice it yourself. You can get a 99 dollar deli slicer at bed bath and beyond

        2. I see it in many forms. Take the gym for example.

          I know many people who post gym memes online, buy the newest fad supplements and gym gear, look at “motivating” quotes etc, yet they almost never get in the gym and kill it.

          Fuck all the nonsense, get up, get it done, and GTFO

          1. “..get up, get it done, and GTFO”

            Gym, work, chores, obligations, ramdom hook-ups with sluts, etc…

  4. “Cool” is something you’re born with, like me. I feel sorry for the rest of you schumcks for getting left out but, I will let you hang out with me anyway.

                    1. I watched Saturday Night Fever last month for the first time in, like, twenty years. Jeeeebus does the clothing look goofy. The dancing is goofy too. The best thing about the movie was the Bee Gees. Their songs are the real star.

  5. You should make it til you rake it.

    Only the truly wise will comprehend the essence of these words.

  6. I like “Train It ‘Til You Gain It”. Good Stuff. Far better advice in that the operative verb is one of ACTION.

  7. “Does it sound cheesy? Sure, a bit.”
    Actually Jak, I don’t think it sounds silly at all. As a life long believer that fake it till you make it is total bullshit, I think this is one of the best bits of advice I’ve seen ’round these parts.

    Now back to your regularly scheduled trolling.

  8. Training and practice are the only way to becoming proficient in any higher order skill set. Once you become proficient, then the self confidence comes naturally. I think if you look beyond the FITYMI slogan and read what most of the credible PUA “gurus” are telling you it is practice, practice, practice!

    Another important consideration is how you train. Using the author’s example of martial arts, if you train in one classic style and end up in a street fight, you may fare better than someone with no training. But you will not have an advantage over a thug who has been in numerous actual street fights. You want to train and practice for the potential threat or actual job you intend to do. .

    As the author points out, approach everything as a student. Others may see you as a master, but no matter how advanced we become in a given discipline, there is always more to learn. When you truly understand this, then humility will come naturally as well.

    1. The problem with the PUA “GURUS” telling you “practice, practice, practice” is that they are telling you to practice the wrong shit. They tell you to practice for the success which follows rather than the training which leads to the success.

      I have never seen the PUA community as particularly helpful.

      It reminds me of something a professor said to me in college when I was being a total douchebag. He told me “you are smart and successful, you don’t have to act that way” and it is true. I don’t have to “act” like something I already am. The only time I have to act like something is if I am not that thing and this is something that, I believe, comes through all the time.

      There is a reason acting is considered an art. For you to believe that a dickhead like Bradd Pitt is someone like Tyler Durden takes a skill not dissimilar to hitting a 98 mile an hour curve ball for a line drive….both innate ability and well trained. For the vast majority of people, faking something or acting in a way they are not will lead to the same results as a mediocre ball player getting to the plate and having that 98 mile an hour curve ball come at them….it ain’t pretty

      1. I agree with the professor’s advice. Projecting confidence requires a stable foundation. Such a foundation is built through the cultivation of correct attitudes and skill sets.

        “Fake it till you make it” is poor advice because a socially awkward person with very little going for him cannot project the confidence of a successful man.

        1. “Projecting confidence requires a stable foundation. Such a foundation is
          built through the cultivation of correct attitudes and skill sets.”
          Kids should have this tattooed backwards on their FACE, so every morning they read it in the mirror.

      2. Agreed. I merely used the PUA example since it was of a piece with FITYMI, not that their initial approach is correct. It’s just like shooting. If I start out by teaching you bad technique and poor form and you practice that over and over, you will never achieve your full potential. And will certainly never be an expert marksman. You must have a sound foundation to build on.

        But you can have the best instructor and training materials in the world and still never amount to shit because you didn’t practice. It’s like buying a power rack and Olympic weights, setting them up, reading the best books and watching the top videos on bodybuilding. Then sitting on your ass looking at the equipment expecting your muscles to grow. It ain’t never gonna happen until you put that knowledge into practice.

  9. A quiet decent article.
    There are too many situations in life where the FITYMI is just not applicable.
    LIfe- most of the time – requires a more pro-active approach to solve problems.

                    1. Don’t be a hater.
                      Just shut up and eat some grapefruit.
                      Its good for you.
                      Hatin is bad for your health

                    2. Being an idiot is also bad for your health, I have no idea how you’ve made it this long.

                    1. Dude can’t ever get away from being a minion for the bad guy perhaps he should step out of his comfort zone and fake it until he makes it by reading poetry to children

                    2. Evil minions get paid well then, after the evil doings are done they just disappear while everyone is beating the bushes for the evil mastermind.

            1. There used to be a commercial, I think it was for car insurance maybe, where there was this young white kid showing off all the normal stuff in his white-bread middle-class house like he was on an episode of Cribs or something, like talking about the “fly whips” on his mom’s Nissan and shit. I used to laugh so hard at that commercial because I knew people exactly like that who were dead serious about it.

                  1. right around the time this spot came out Coke launched a virtual world. logged on, created an avatar, everyone I met (about 43 people) were from Germany.

      1. And remember folks, cultures are all equally valid and worthy of respect. Building Rome 2000+ years ago and modern society today in no way is superior to walking around with a fucking plate in your mouth, covered in sea shells and tin bracelets carting around a gun your people don’t even have the intellectual capacity to design. Nope. All equal.

  10. This may be my favorite article posted on this site. It challenges a statement parroted by so many in the sphere. There is a truth that every man knows and it is you cannot lie to yourself. You can lie to every other joker in the world, your woman, your family, but deep down you know that you’re a sham.

    A foundation built on lies will come crashing down hard.

  11. Id say fake it until you can know longer fake it. doesnt apply to every profession, but it does for entirely too many.
    also: check out Jean Claude Van-Johnson. he moonlights as a spy, making B movies is just his cover story. funny shite

        1. The thing I wish I learned when I was younger was how much life was ahead of me. If I had spent 18-28 as a freaking monk doing absolutely nothing but self improvement and avoiding all temptations both chemical and vaginal I probably would be in a much better place now…as it is, I assumed my life was important during those years instead of realizing I was just an immature cunt

          1. Our culture suggests that those years are the only ones that matter and that we are entitled to all the fun in the world.

            1. We aren’t all supposed to be movie, sports or recording artist rich stars? Dammit I knew something was wrong.

          2. Yeah but between 18-28 I already knew everything there was to know. I didn’t realize until much later that I didn’t know doodly squat.

  12. Life ain’t that hard, show up to work on time, pay your bills, don’t name your kids Teddy or Twyla and everything will be ok.

      1. The rest is irrelevant, the Teddy and Twyla thing is most important, as long as you remember that, you’re all good.

          1. Well in all honesty I was going off adults that I’ve been aquatinted with whose name is Teddy, they were all fuck-ups( no offense to any present company who may be cursed with that name).

            1. Topher, Tyler, Jared. I’ve never known decent dudes with those names. Maybe they’re out there, but I doubt it.

                1. A buddy of mine married a russian girl. He is a Dominican guy. This is years ago. Anyway, a bunch of us were sitting around his table having drinks and his wife was talking about baby names. She says she always liked “Stanislav” My buddy’s brother turns around with perfect timing and says “why don’t you just name the fucking kid douchebag”

                    1. Another good one, just this morning… the local tv weatherman gives birthday wishes to the viewers and he wished a Happy 3rd Birthday to: Tha’ Miracle Washington…

                    2. The best name, I shared with some guys here, was a woman at a city agency I was talking to back and forth. I sent her a follow up email

                      Dear Lasagna,
                      Thank you for bla bla bla

                      Turns out it was L’Sonya

                      I thought lasagna!whatcha gonna do

                    3. How was her real name eventually made known to you? Of course I’m hoping for some epic rant in a reply from her, but it’s probably not so dramatic.

                    4. Actually, that’s kind of funny, because there is no way she missed you calling her that in the greeting.

                    5. Iamunique was one of the most ghetto ig’nant names ever.
                      They didnt eat grapefruit.
                      Probably claimed they lived in a “food desert”
                      Yea, that’s what happens when “the community” steals the store into oblivion.

                    6. A friend of the family was a nurse and once told us about a hillbilly family that had a little girl. This was back in the 70s– anyway, when she brought the baby out to the family they exclaimed, “oh look. They even named her for us. fe-mal-ee.” The baby was wearing a pink wrist band with “female” on it.
                      We thought she was BSing, but said no. FEMALE was recorded on the birth cert as her first name.

                    7. The Legend of Ima Hogg and her sister Ura Hogg.

                      “Texas legend insists that when Jim Hogg ran for re-election as Texas governor in 1892 he often travelled with his daughter Ima and a friend of hers and introduced them as his daughters Ima and Ura. Ima Hogg maintained throughout her life that this never happened. She was frequently forced to dispel the myth; hundreds of people wrote her letters inquiring whether her name was real and if she really had a sister named Ura.The Kansas City Star even invented another sister, Hoosa.”

                    8. I knew a guy named Telemachus. He now goes by Tim.
                      I knew another guy named Theophilus. He now goes by Mustafa since he converted to Islam and moved to rural Malaysia.

                      Lesson: Don’t give your kid obscure Greek names. He’ll either change it or go looney-tunes.

                    9. I ran into guy whose first name was Wil-Mart. (For real) He got really mad about people calling him Wal-Mart too.

                    10. Ever catch what some people are calling their kids today? There is a young relation of mine who was given a name that when I heard it I asked the mother, “you named her after a cheese?” (This side of the pond it’s called that anyway).

                  1. My cousin married this pop-tart who got knocked up with twins about 5 months before he proposed. She wanted to name them Romeo and Juliet, even if they were both boys or girls. Luckily, God intervened and only one made it out of her severely battered womb alive. She named him Roman.

                    1. Yup. But I can’t say too much bad about her because she was really just a whole bunch of fun in the sack. Chick just loved to fuck and was always happy and super excited about getting fucked.

                    2. Both. I banged her well before she met him. I could easily have banged her after she met him, and after she married him, but I chose not to. It was damn difficult though.

                      I also banged her younger sister, but she was nowhere near as bubbly or enthusiastic during sex, which was very disappointing.

                    3. Slavic chicks. It’s a weakness of mine.

                      Maybe it’s me, but I always thought it wierd being invited to any wedding where I had previously banged the bride. It wasn’t by accident either, as the brides were the ones sending out invitations.

                    4. Yeah, any guy who is sitting on the bride’s side (and isn’t family or the date of the bride’s family or friend) is there because he used to bang the bride.

                2. Like naming your little girl Ashley. I’ve never met an Ashley who wasn’t a total cock fiend.

                  1. When picking a woman to date always be very careful if their name ends in a consonant. They are all bat shit crazy without exception. Not saying not to fuck them or that it isn’t possible to tame them, but they are all fucking nuts.

                    1. Any girl with a man’s name or nickname is almost guaranteed to be a slut. Like you literally cannot keep an Andi from sucking every dick she stumbles across.

                    2. You should. Its a pretty much universal rule, and Charlene is a pretty slutty name on its own.

                    1. And keep your head on a swivel when drinking beer in Gatlinburg so that fucker doesn’t get the drop on you.

            2. Helps that I’ve never met one I guess. I feel the same way about jimmys. Not Jims or Jameses, but adults who still go by “jimmy” (also, personal experience, no offense intended)

                1. Yeah when they get that old and are going by Robbie instead of Rob…. not a good sign.

              1. I’ve known a couple of grown Jimmys that were pretty good cats so I will say Jimmy is 50/50.

          2. Recently I was watching a documentary about meth. An old hillbilly methfreak woman about 45 that looked about 70 picked up her kid(named Teddy) from prison and inside of a couple of hours they were shooting up together. While watching that it occurred to me that every other Teddy Ive known was the same way.

            1. Those shows are just great. I was recently watching the one about people who are over 500 pounds. Dude on the show got kicked out of the hospital where he was supposed to get his gastric bypass for ordering a pizza.

              1. The thing about those people is they all expect sympathy instead of tough love.
                They some hongry ass mofos thought.

                  1. Reminds me of a couple I saw recently waiting on a train. It was pretty cold and they were hugged up in front of the train station. Their bellies were touching and each had their hands on the others upper arm because that was as far around as they could reach.

        1. I know a guy like that. He loves big tits so much, he doesn’t care how big a hambeast the tits are attached to.

          1. I like nice firm bags like anyone but if the package comes with a pooched belly at 25 she will be a lard ass by 40

            1. This guy legit does not care how big the rest of her is. I think he’d roll up on one of those bed-bound super-fatties if her tits were big enough. He is kind of a weird dude, but if you are going out trolling for pussy, he is an ace to have in your crew, because the dude will happily dive on the grenade and motorboat the shit out of that bitch.

                1. We used to call him Spanish Fly because so many guys got laid after he took down the fat friend.

                    1. Maybe, but he was pretty enthusiastic about it. The chicks were always happy as shit about it too. To be honest, he could and did legitimately get laid anytime, anywhere because he had no standards other than big tits. Fat, ugly, stupid, white, black… as long as she had big tits, he would fuck her, and he seemed to really enjoy it.

                    2. Hmm.. sounds this thread is going to need some pictures so nobody misunderstands exactly what you’re talking about here.

                    3. This, from the guy who replied “Probably tighter and cleaner than most girls in Los Angeles” when presented with a literal cum dumpster.

                  1. I knew a guy who would hook up with travelling fatties at this high end hotel , that stocked rooms with expensive chocolates, pretend he liked them, fill his duffle bag full of the chocolates , then bolt out of the room. He did this religiously every few weeks.

                2. Here’s an arm. Hey, here’s a leg. Here’s a wing. Hey, what do you like, the leg or the wing, Henry? Or do you still go for the old hearts and lungs?

          2. Big titties are only acceptable on bikini chick quality women. I’m pretty firm on this rule.

            1. Noooo! You left out the “thick” girls. Not fat ones mind you, just thick. There is a difference, a big one (no pun intended). Thick girls have real curves, not rolls.

        1. Its reference to a vanity license plate on a strangely attired van in a cartoon featuring norm macdonald

                1. The most common symptoms of citric acid overdose include stomach cramps or pain, diarrhea, nausea or vomiting, loss of appetite, increased sweating and swelling, and pain in the abdominal or stomach area. In rare cases, yellow eyes or skin may occur.
                  Seizures and convulsions are also possible. It is important that you seek medical help if you have any of these symptoms.

                2. Wait, what are you saying? Why do you think I’m paranoid? Are you watching me? Are you looking at me right now from behind that bookcase over there???

            1. No, there’s way-way-way too much repressed self-hatred and rage.

              EDIT: Also, lolknee would never use the word “Yucky” even for a bit.

            2. No. I am 120% sure it’s Chip Baskets. I thought about it some more, and am completely convinced. The style, the tone, all there, all Chip. If it isn’t Chip, I’ll eat my hat.

                1. Okay, well, I don’t own a hat. But that’s not the point. It’s Chip Baskets, I’m telling you!

                  Fine, I’ll consider buying a hat if that makes you feel better. Probably a straw hat. Even though there is no chance I will have to eat it.

              1. I’m 87.3% sure I know who it is, but there is one thing holding me back from saying it. I don’t think its Chip though.

                    1. First I’m going to hire an outside consulting firm to produce an opposition research dossier outlining all the reasons you are wrong. Stand by.

                    2. Well, I’m going to hire my next door neighbor’s Uncle Earl to come kick you in the shin until you cry and admit you are wrong. Stand by.

  13. Great article Jak. I was never comfortable with the term Fake it ’til you Make it. Train it ’til you Gain it is much more reasonable.

    Fact is, creating anything of real value is not something that can be accomplished with fakery and deception – it takes effort, tremendous effort. You’ve got to put in the work, you’ve got to put in the hours, there’s no way around it – Perfect Practice Makes Perfect.

  14. You can’t fake good nutrition.
    Grapefruit is a wise choice any time of day.
    Anybody have some grapefruit this morning?

      1. Ehhhhhhhhhh.
        Fasting is a gimmick.
        Just eat healthy foods in the quantity your body needs for your activities.
        Meal timing isn’t all that important.
        Besides, you fast when you sleep

          1. Clearly, that stems from your insecurities about being gay.
            Its ok thales, its never been more acceptable to be gay.
            You might be surprised how accepting your family will be when you finally come out of the closet.
            You’re still going to he’ll.
            But you might as well be your true gay self.
            And eat some grapefruit.
            Its good for fags and real people too.

          1. Reminds me of a story-
            These two country boys got drafted into the military back in the day. Their mother had been to town and bought them some bananas for a treat( they had never before eaten bananas). While on the train one of them decided to try a bite of his banana. About the time he took his first bite, the train went into a tunnel. He started yelling,” Hey!Hey! Did you eat your bananer yet?” The other said no, he said,” well don’t you do it! I took one bite of mine and went stone blind!”.

                1. You’re still a fruity moron.
                  I mean hell, we come here to shoot the breeze in a good way and have a good time, you just come here to fuck with people, why is that? I mean, we don’t come to gay bars knocking dicks out of your mouth when you’re having a good time.

                  1. I’m here to spread sound nutritional advice.
                    And I have. I have also been on topic with some comments.
                    I have not started the shit talking with anyone.
                    They drew first blood. Not me.

                    1. You don’t have sound advice to spread, grapefruit doesn’t have blood, dickweed.

              1. Damn you’re stupid.
                Whateverphobe isn’t a sexual orientation.its an irrational fear.
                Btw, straight men should be scared of fags, they spread the aids. Especially the down low fags that spread the aids to straight people.
                For the record, grapefruits are self pollinating.

              1. You can’t tell the difference between a tree and a piece of fruit?
                You’re a special kind of retard

                1. I would hope my mother is better than fucking dogs… hooked on p[h]onics bro..hooked on p[h]onics.

                    1. The junkies can still be heard debating the finer points of snorting, smoking or injecting – until an elderly psychedelics sage moots it all by pointing out:

                      Reading Is Fundamental.

            1. sounds like you got a cock in your mouth. hope you’re at least getting a meal out of it.

                  1. I’m not angry at all.
                    Project much?
                    I genuinely hope you have fun with your aids, fag. As in, die soon.

        1. You were born a waste, you were born on a kudzu vine
          ( which is fucked up because that isn’t where grapefruit belongs), picked by Mexicans, culled, then left to rot in the sun and now you’re some fruit flys bitch.

      1. Self proclaimed millionaire who supposedly won million dollar sports bets … mostly got notoriety by stealing social security numbers

  15. OT- the TV is on in the office, not sure of the name of the show but, Julie Chen is on it with no makeup. That stuff has been working miracles on her for a long time. Her looks could scare blind kids.
    I can’t tell any difference with the fat black chick.

    1. Toby. Toby Toby? Toby Wong. Toby Wong? Toby Wong. Toby Chung fuckin’ Julie Chen. I’ve got @g_rapefruit:disqus comin’ out of my left ear…and Julie the Jap– I don’t know what–comin’ out of my right.

      1. time to work some coen bros quotes into the mix. Id say start with Miller’s Crossing

    1. I’ll do you the favor of posting this here instead of in the actual comments to your article…

      Are traps gay?

                    1. The first yo momma’s so fat joke I ever heard as a kid was the sits around the house one, and it took me like three minutes to figure out what it meant. The other kid kept saying “Get it? She sits AROUND the house?” over and over again until I finally got it.

                    2. I got this one from MAD magazine when I was 11:
                      Yo momma’s so fat she keeps her diaphragm in a pizza box.
                      It was another YEAR until I got it….

                    3. yo mommas so fat she don’t go to a doctor, she goes to a groundskeeper!
                      being a kid sukked – no money, no pussy, no car, and you’re shorter than everyone.

                    4. Shit, when I was a kid, I didn’t know I needed money so I didn’t care about having none, I didn’t know that I wanted pussy yet so I wasn’t missing out, I had a bike that could get me anywhere on the planet, and I only cared about being taller than other kids when we played basketball.

                    5. That gag is used in ‘Fat’ (on Even Worse) as a background line: “When I sit around the house I really sit around the house”. I can’t immediately recall him using it earlier than that (say, on Dare To Be Stupid), but I don’t think it would matter because I’d have to believe the joke predates all of his work by quite some time.

                    6. while it isn’t a yo mamma, my favorite fat joke was from Rodney

                      “oh my wife, she is so fat. Oh man is she fat. I met her at the thanksgiving day parade. She was wearing ropes”

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