Happy Wife, Happy Life… With a Twist

You’ve done it. Despite your best intentions, and all the warnings from your friends, you have fallen madly in love with a woman that you think will be with you for the rest of your life. You decided to marry her. Shortly after you take the vows, attend the party, and go on the honeymoon, you take your bride to your (now the both of yours) apartment for the first time. Now what?

I write this because I see the see discontent in people around me. Satisfaction in marriage has been in a decline. The breakdown of the family has serious consequences for the community and the nation as a whole. While there are no magic pills to keep her happy, there are things you can do to create an environment where she is more likely to be happy, and you will reap the benefits.

Continue to be the Alpha

First off, you need to be a man. Many in modern society think that being more subservient is the way to keep your wife happy. Not only is this wrong, but in doing so, you lose the respect of your wife and her discontent will arise due to her hypergamous nature. As odd as it sounds, you cannot live for the approval of your wife and expect her to be happy. Of course you should help out when appropriate, but if you are pulling far more than your share, you are becoming a servant, and losing her respect. As much as she says she wants the deed or gift, she would rather have someone she can respect.

In addition, choose your fights wisely. Some “men” let women have their way on everything, if you do that, doing so discredits you as a man. But at the same time, you cannot be a tyrant and have your way every time. Anyone who has worked for a boss that micromanages knows how tiring that can be, and there comes a point that you actually lose respect by demanding your way. A woman will not be happy being married to a tyrant, and you will not be happy being a tyrant. My thinking is anything that is unimportant or if the choice is ambiguous, then let her choose. If not, we discuss the matter. If no opinion is swayed, my decision overrides. My wife and I have disagreements on occasion, even arguments at times. Rarely, if ever, you we have fights. Fights happen when both let anger and pride take precedent over finding a common solution.  Letting your anger take control is a sign of weakness, rather than a sign of strength.

Continue to be attractive. Stay in shape, dress nicely, and take her out at least monthly. If she sees you are attractive, she will respect you more, follow suit and keep herself attractive.

Be a Man of Conviction

A good woman will expect you to be a good man. You cannot live an immoral life and expect your wife to be moral. Even if you manage to marry a virtuous woman, she will not remain so if your house is not in order.  Much of the reason couples struggle with marriage is a lack in morality. That morality needs to be taught on a regular basis.

According to these statistics, divorce rates in the United States are as follows: irreligious 40%, Catholic 28%, Protestant 34%, Muslim 31%, Jewish 30%, Mormon (non-temple marriage as per lds.org) 28%, Mormon (Temple marriage) 6%. I broke the last part into two parts because there is a stark difference in the level of conviction between Mormons who attend the temple and those who don’t. (You are interviewed by the bishop about personal worthiness to enter.) I suspect that you would find a similar dichotomy in other religions between those who are strong in their faith and those who aren’t.

There is a direct correlation in how dedicated a person is to their religion and happiness in married life.

Understand that there are consequences to your actions. We are never truly free in this life. The question is how is our freedom restricted, internally, or externally?

Maintain a House of Order

Throw away your TV set. Network TV is a time waster, but more importantly, it poisons the mind of yourself and your family. We have a computer at home which we are restrictive on what we do watch, maybe 3 or 4 hours a week. The hours of mindless drivel is not worth it. There are plenty of other better things to do.

Have children. Your wife needs fulfillment, the daily grind of work at the office will not bring it to her. Naturally, she wants to be a wife and a mother. Bring progeny to your home, it is worth it.

If possible, be the sole breadwinner of the family. Do your best to make it so your wife can stay home and take care of the kids. She will respect you more, and depend on you more. I see so many couples living parallel marriages because both work and still have the chores at home. You may have to downscale, but it is nice to come home to dinner waiting for you and the house clean.

Set up a routine that is right for you. We have family scripture study and prayer at 5:30 AM before I go to work. Dinner when I get home, play, then at 8:30 the bedtime routine. 9:00 is bedtime, after which my wife and I will go for walks, or other personal activities (cough).

Keep the Magic Alive

Marriage is a wonderful thing, if done right. You develop a relationship that far surpasses any other you will have in life. My wife is my partner, my friend, my lover. I enjoy the time I spend with her. We will leave the kids with a babysitter at least once a month and go out to dinner and dancing, or some museum or something. I will flirt with her throughout the day, and she will return the favor. I often hear the old adage “You got to work at your marriage”. I call BS on that. Work is not the right attitude. Yes, there are things you need to get done, but in all seriousness, you got to play in your marriage. Keep it fun, keep it an adventure. Be spontaneous. Smack her on the butt and treat her like an object. Open the door for her at times (not all times), and throw water balloons at her at other times (not all times). Do it, and not will your marriage be stronger, you (and your wife and children) will be happier.

Author: Jim Johnson

As a man in his early 40's, I grew up on a dairy farm in an irreligious home. Disgusted with the choice of women out there, I looked into religion to find a worthwhile mate. At 23, I joined the LDS (Mormon) faith, married, became a civil engineer, and now have six children. My favorite things are puppies, long walks on the beach, and the color blue (not really).

92 thoughts on “Happy Wife, Happy Life… With a Twist”

  1. I wrote this a couple years ago when I was new to ROK. I tried to put it on their site but Roosh didn’t like it I guess.

        1. Nothing’s stopping him from coming over. Hell, we’d welcome him with open arms if he was serious about turning things around.

    1. Good article Jim. Wish i had found this type of advice earlier and maybe my marriage would have worked out. But live and learn and move on.

    2. From what I’ve seen, your articles are well written and suit this site much better than what ROK has become.
      It’s not easy to maintain a marriage, especially in our current SOYciety. Hopefully articles like this will help men that don’t want to give up on marriage and family entirely.

    3. That ROK crew is jumping over PUA and going straight to MGTOW, whining and slinging bile the whole way. It’s a really bad outcome. I appreciate that you place the focus on actually showing up, making active decisions, and not on retreating out of hopelessness.

      1. It’s rotting from the head down. I’m skeptical you can do PUA until age 40 (I think Roosh is or around 40?) and easily switch to happy home and housewife. Getting in the right state of mind and figuring out what kind of qualities one desires in a wife took some time. And these aren’t things I was paying attention to while merely fooling around with girls.

        So I’d say by 40, the return on investment it takes to find a wife diminishes to the point where it may not seem worthwhile. The mind, your beliefs, your willingness aren’t as flexible as they were 10 or 20 years prior. Result? MGTOW.

        1. Though I haven’t managed it quite yet, I’m convinced it’s possible to get married in the late 30s zone to something reasonable. I’ve already run into 4 of the so-called unicorns that aren’t supposed to exist. (Of course… all but 1 are under 30.)

          I’m not really in the same zone as R however. I only fooled around for a couple years right after I left the US. Plus I don’t have my face plastered all over the net talking about banging girls. I’d say it would be virtually impossible for R to find anyone of quality now. Especially if he’s trying to find someone that hasn’t been around the barn several times.

          1. Yeah, he really didn’t leave himself an out of the PUA thing got old.

            A sparring rule that I learned very early in my martial arts journey was “Keep your options open.” Roosh has painted himself into a corner and will be always be known as “that PUA guy” at best.

        2. It’s the younger guys that have me worried. The ones that had half a red pill, got a sense of the nature of women, but who give up without ever learning Game, making approaches, or working on themselves. It’s like they declare, “Girls suck and hypergamy doesn’t care, so pass the Xbox controller.” That is some ball-less, defeatist shit and it’s on the rise.

          1. Pretty sure that’s mostly guys my age. To be fair, the women on the market there are rather horrible. I’m currently on the self-improvement and re-attack track. However, I’m a moderately good looking guy with a career and have the raw material to get a worthy girl if I put in the effort. The average Joe is looking at settling with a snobby 5 even if they grind their way back into the game. Not justifying their defeatism, just saying it’s very easy to look around and be discouraged.

                    1. my parents would never buy me Steak-ums. Something about jack klugman made him the best pitchman ever

                    2. Were those things even made out of real meat?
                      I am guessing pressed meat by-products, but I could be wrong.

              1. From what I’m told, protests are the new Poosy Paradise… We should send an AKC member undercover to write a data sheet on his conquests.

            1. You’re not wrong.

              The incentive for going long term seems bad. But I’d rather see guys have brief and superficial relationships with women than have them go monk mode, because I think the former is holistically better for them than the latter.

              1. I agree. I think game, PUA and red pill are still important for a variety of reasons: better to get casual sex with a slut than being a monk; multiple self-improvement side effects, and it may important to have some of the traits such as social skills, cunning, confidence and a nice body if you are in a LTR.

        3. The ex-pat PUA community [Forney, Roosh, etc.] always came across as to me as dudes unable hack it in life back in America. Their solution is to give up and travel abroad to take advantage of 3rd world women. Mid life crisis hits them hard once the thrill of revolving girls wears off. The term for it is “black pill”.

          1. I don’t think I knew Forney was ex-pat, but it makes sense. Makes sense for both of them, on several levels. Both in taking advantage of third world women, and there will be significantly fewer people in non-English speaking countries that would like to see them killed.

    4. And presently you are posting sound articles driving dialogue, with personal acts and results (married, 6 kids) backing it up, and he has become icarus.

      I feel sorry for R. though. I started looking for a wife after a few years of sabitical from dating in my 30s and it was hell (and would not do it again). AWALT.

      1. It would be even tougher for him. Any real wife material would look at his life on the internet and run.


  2. “My thinking is anything that is unimportant or if the choice is
    ambiguous, then let her choose. If not, we discuss the matter. If no
    opinion is swayed, my decision overrides.”

    – Excellent.

    “According to these statistics, divorce
    rates in the United States are as follows: irreligious 40%, Catholic
    28%, Protestant 34%, Muslim 31%, Jewish 30%, Mormon (non-temple marriage
    as per lds.org) 28%, Mormon (Temple marriage) 6%.”

    – Catholics may have the 2nd lowest divorce rate, but I would guess a very high cheating rate. At least in my “ethnic grouping”…

    “Many in modern society think that being more subservient is the way to
    keep your wife happy. Not only is this wrong, but in doing so, you lose
    the respect of your wife and her discontent will arise due to her
    hypergamous nature.”

    – 100% agree and know it to be true because I witnessed this first hand. My sister’s first husband is a good guy, I like him and still consider him to be a friend.

    But when they were married, he let her run roughshod over him. He did the dishes if she cooked dinner. It was her “rule”. After the first kid it got even worse.
    She quit her job to stay home, as she should have. He is in IT like me, and he works his ass off. One night I was over there and he got home at 8:30 and the first thing she said to him was “the baby needs a bath”. After 12 years of this crap, he finally had enough and started yelling at her about going out with her rich ((friends)) and spending afternoons at the gym then drinking magaritas.
    Of course she continued her rancid behavior, eventually accused him of abuse (BS!) and she divorce raped him. After slutting around in her mid 30s, she finally hooked a very rich 20 guy years her senior. But he is a big time business owner who was married twice before and made her sign a prenup. When he says jump, she jumps. She likes the big house, fancy cars, and exotic vacations, but i KNOW she hates having to back down to this fat old guy. Serves her right; parasitic gold digging c*nt that she is.

    1. Catholics might stay married more, but I know more than a few unhappy catholic marriages out there. Though they “stay married.”

        1. Aye there’s the rub. “How to not get divorced” is a very different article from “how to keep your wife happy”. See also: the entire decade of the 1950s.

          IME, you have to keep her guessing. Good behavior, bad behavior, weird behavior. To stay interested in her man, a woman needs the tingles; she gets the tingles when she doesn’t know what to expect next. It’s harder to achieve when you’re living under the same roof, but it can be done.

      1. The unhappy Catholics are unhappy because the grass only looks greener elsewhere when their environment includes secular non Catholics who mock them by flaunting promiscuity and by smiling and trying to appear happy while they live without tradition or family foundation. They will even smile and shoot love bubbles out their eyes at the Chtholics and other trad family people, even as they are secretly miserable inside and as they shake their leg to conceal the puss and liquid running from their diseased funhole.

        In the 70s I remember liberated/divorced women who danced around trying to convince others of their newfound ‘happiness’. Some appeared on talk shows and said things like “I’m divorced and I absolutely LOVE IT”. I can’t remember the actress who said it but I remember somewhat her appearance on I think it was the Dinah Shore show back when I was a snot nosed TV watching kid. The lady came on and she kept saying “I love it” (her divorce) and blowing kisses to the audience who reacted with applause signs.

        The grass is not always greener elsewhere and if you see someone else smiling and looking ‘APPY, they’re most likely putting you on with a false shit eating grin face. They’re all actors who advertize debauchery.

        https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BmMxk28CcAAItYp.jpg:large

    2. There’s one group that is approaching 0% divorce rate – the Amish. Similar low div rates can be found in other closed societies like the Mennonites and Hutterites which are similar Anabaptist communial tribe societies. The women don’t reject or trade in or trade up their beta provider because their options to do so are ZERO. A woman’s options therefore translate to divorce rate and the divorce rape perks are an accelarant like pouring gasoline onto the divorce/homewrecking business. Women’s free options therefore ARE the foundation of the divorce industry market. – – – The Amish Anabaptists explained:

      https://youtu.be/A4AJxWbXR7A

      1. Agree 100% that the Amish/Hutterites/Mennonites have it right regarding male/female relationships.

        But, I have to say, “Sandman” speaks like a fag.

        1. Lol I remember when I used to watch his videos. I got tired of them because all he talked about was women. I’m like damn you supposed to be going your own way talk about something more interesting like cool hobbies or business. I think the only MGTOW dude I’m still subscribed to is TFM

          1. Sure, cool hobbies, scientific pursuits, bettering mankind, etc.. There are plenty of benefits the “mgtows” can bring.
            They seem to claim Isaac Newton and Nikola Tesla as their own. And maybe they are right. But, I have to say, any group of male pursuits that does not include getting laid, at least occasionally, is highly suspect. To me, anyway.

          2. The MGTOW YouTube guy I respect the most is Misandry Today. He’s older, has kids, had 2 disasterous marriages, and approaches the problem of feminism from legal and structural perspectives. He is not just grousing like an incel. In fact, his stuff is very thought provoking.
            https://youtu.be/Rri2VtjQ9yo

        2. When I had the Red Pill Rage phase, Sandman actually helped me a lot. But it’s just venting. MGTOW is gonna create some seriously imbalanced guys, because they are cutting off critical parts of themselves by cutting off women (and Game). MGTOWs are not on track to becoming the fucking Knights Templar or an order of Netwonian Teslas. In fact, I think they could become the ideological mirror-image of radical feminists, and become a bane for everybody.

          1. I listened to a few of his youtube videos.
            I believe in one he claimed to have a girlfriend named “sailor moon”. Once I heard that I pictured one of those freaks who lived with his parents and whacks off to Japanese comic books.

            I’m the last one to tell other guys how to live, but this MGTOW thing confuses the hell out of me. Why would a guy cut poon out of his life? A lifetime of whacking off? Is that what they are proposing? No thanks. Plenty of ways to skin a cat without being lucky enough to be a “Chad”. Or settling for an ugazoid like so many guys do.

      2. I read some of these communties actually had phones when they were first rolled out wayback when…they got rid of em bc it promoting gossiping between the women.

  3. Very well done, Jim. You have an excellent sense of how marriage works and a talent for clearly expressing it.

              1. What is this “Godfather” you speak of?
                Never heard of it.

                Perhaps you might want to consider reviewing this 1980s classic staring 2 very famous Northeast US “ethnic types”…

      1. Thanks for the support, Jak. I have been reflecting lately and I have at least two ideas for now. ☺

  4. TV is now so irrelevant since there are many educational videos on YouTube (I know, it’s part of that eeeevil Google consortium). If the kids need hints on certain school subjects or want to watch college lectures, there are videos. Music and other arts are also plentiful, as is religion/theology.

    1. Thanks. Yesterday, my wife saw me checking my phone often. She says, “looks like you have a new article out, can I take a look at it?”

      I give her my phone and as she is reading through it, I can see her eyes roll at the first of the article. When she finished she says “That is not at all how women think”. But then she changed the subject. Not sure what that meant.

  5. Good article. I let myself slip too far into “Nice guy” territory lately. It was due to having young children and several miscarriages. I became too much of a sponge for her emotional needs and was forever trying to keep her happy by direct intervention. But I got my shit sorted out and we are back on track now.

    For the other guys, this advice really REALLY works.

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