Last Sunday I decided to break up the usual homebody routine and decided to hit one of my good buddies up. We met up, shot the shit, and really just chilled. I was having a good time and a breather from being Dad and husband all the time felt great, but you see guys who never leave the side of their wives and kids, or worst case, they are “forbidden” to have time for themselves. These guys always have a defeated, dead look on their faces. Today go over why you should schedule solitary time and time with your guy friends away from the family.
Granted we are the captains of the ships we call our families and a ship without a captain is destined to sink. To spend too much time away will cause a breakdown with your wife and kids. This isn’t what I’m proposing here.
There are numerous reasons why you need time away from the family here and there. Let’s go over some reasons why.
Not having to think about every member of your family for a few hours is a relief. If you’re familiar with the content here, you’ll know that we give it our all when it comes to being the best fathers and husbands we can be. You can collect your thoughts, think about the future and just enjoy doing something for yourself. This is important for your mental state and overall mood.
Events with Friends
You have to spend time with your guy friends. These should be your trusted group of guys. If you’re going though some shit, these are the guys you go to. The way I built this group is though shared activities and events. Whether it’s hitting the shooting range, a game of billiards, grabbing a few drinks, or even just cruising around squad deep on a Sunday afternoon. You can really have fun if you plan something really fun. Play a sport, ride ATVs, or hitting up an amusement park can be a great time with your buds.
Even if your group isn’t that big, it doesn’t matter. You need to start chillin with your bros. They need it as much as you do.
Catching Up on Things
Got that book you want to finish? Got a personal project you’ve been neglecting? Making time to do what you want allows for you to get the things you typically put on the back burner done. I’m studying for a technical certificate and I set aside an hour each Saturday just to sit quietly and absorb the info.Completing things you want to do instead of things you’re obligated to do makes you feel great.
Dealing With Backlash or Time
One thing I hear from guys who I try to explain this topic to is that either their wives will give them shit, or they’re too busy too have downtime. I can get extreme examples, but overall I feel like this is bullshit.
First, as a man you shouldn’t need permission to do anything from anyone. I don’t think many of you here seek permission, but I had to state it. If you’re providing and protecting your family as well as guiding them and engaging in their lives, then no one can say shit if you take off for a few hours. If your wife gives you a hard time, tell her that you’re going and you deserve to. Don’t explain it, just confirm it. Give some warning, but tell, don’t ask your wife you’re going to do whatever it is you plan to do.
Second, if you evaluate what you’ve spending time on, you can definitely make positive changes. An hour of reading or learning a new skill is time better spent then vegging on the couch, but if vegging on the couch is your ideal, be my guest. I like filling my free time with projects typically. Building things (woodworking, welding, masonry etc) I find soothing.
As a guy you need time away from the family. Letting your wife know in advance is a good idea, but not 100% necessary. Use your time to connect with friends or improve yourself. Drop a comment below with some suggestions.