Today it seems that kids aren’t expected to do jack shit outside of school work, and half the time most parents don’t even care about that. All I ever see is kids sitting around with their faces buried in devices, their parents mindless zombies who do the same, and these kids are just expected to exist and flat out demand new things from their parents without working for it. Today I’ll share how things work in my house and some tips for any of you dads who may need to lay down the law at home
When I was a kid, my 2 brothers and I were expected to do routine things around our home, without being told and maybe some spending money was in our future depending on the job we did. We’d have to bin up and take out garbage, clean our shared bathroom, vacuum the carpets, mow the lawn etc. Typical shit that parents made their kids do. Fast forward to today and I rarely see kids being told to do any of this. Not only that, when asked to lend a hand they whine and complain.
Since I was raised that everyone had to help out, I make my kids do their chores and make them pitch in. My kids know that before any TV, video games or anything else goes on, they must complete what is expected of them. I honestly think it helps get them in the right frame of mind. You shouldn’t be a lazy sloth that sits around doing nothing all day and the satisfaction of accomplishing a task is something they need to learn. Furthermore, putting hard work into something makes the reward that much sweeter.
Getting your kids to help out at home doesn’t have to turn you into a dictator though. I’ve found with my family that the kids respond when you map things out for them.
I have a white board in my kitchen that has all the chores the kids are supposed to do on it. In the morning there are a few essentials like letting the dog out and feeding the other pets. Night time brings cleaning up their bedroom and helping out with our 2 year old. Each kid has it spelled out in black in what what it is they are expected to do. I used to have them check off once they completed a chore, but over time they just picked up on what is expected of them.
Now I don’t really have to ask them to do these things. When a few days go by and I have noticed them just handling their expectations, they are rewarded with some extra candy money for school or if they have really been good, a fun trip to an arcade or something on the weekend.
You can see the joy the feel when they’re rewarded and my eldest son has even commented to me that he “has a good day” when he feels like he accomplishes things and gets things done.
The flipside of this is that when I see something that isn’t taken care of, or if I’ve had to remind them to do things, that I take the rewards away. Further disobedience leads to me taking things like video games or outside time away. They get the hint pretty quick and usually get back into a routine.
If you have a kid that is used to sitting on his ass all day, its going to take effort on your part to get them in line, but I honestly believe that children crave and love structure. They love it when you map things out for them and they just have to perform.
I believe its important in a child’s upbringing that they understand that they have to earn their way. They shouldn’t just expect things for no effort and creating a structured task list for them is a good thing. You can use this method to reward or punish them accordingly. At the end of the day, they’ll love you for it in the long run, either as children, or as parents themselves some day.