We promote the go get it, kill it in every aspect of life attitude around here. We’re committed to being the best fathers, leaders, husbands and also being fit physically, mentally and socially. I’ve noticed at times that we can get wrapped up in this, after all its who we are, and there are times that you have to take a step back, laugh at life, and just run on auto pilot for a bit. Today I’ll speak about taking that needed time to recuperate and what you can do to recharge when you’ve been hustling your ass off.
The prompt for today’s article came from to occurrences in my life this week. The first being when I had an obligation to do for work that wasn’t time pressing, but I scheduled to do it during my time at home (after hours) . Once I got in, I decided to just hang out with my wife and kids. I hit that point where I had to decide what was necessary for me as a person, and that was to put the laptop away and just spend time with the family. Typically I’m in the ‘get it done” type of mindset where I jump from one activity or obligation to the next and I “rest” when I’m asleep. Deciding to spend time with the family brought me joy and happiness. I wasn’t thinking about work or other shit, I was just focused on being around them. As many of you guys with older children will note, the time goes quickly, and once they’re bigger, I won’t get it back. I had a blast playing with the 2 year old, doing play dough with my 7 year old, and playing a video game with my 10 year old. I got to work the next day and took care of what I planned to do at home the night before anyway. The take away was to keep things separate, and how important “leisure” time is.
The other prompt came from talking to WB Fitness about how we both can treat any small disagreement as “world war 3” to quote him. Basically I will go for the kill shot each time and this isn’t okay. Sure if I’m trying to make my point at work or some asshole is trying to start shit, but I noticed I had been being short with my wife when it didn’t warrant it. I knocked it off and realized that she won’t be 100% rational at all times as I try to be. Its not in any woman’s nature to be that way I’ve found and trying to be 100% logical with them all the time will just frustrate you.
These two scenarios offer different insights into the cookie cutter advice you see on most sphere sites. They say you have to be on the grind every second of life and must be 100% king alpha at all times. While you certainly cannot drop the ball(s) in the relationship and with your family, being an outright dick to them will leave you feeling like shit or possibly worse.
In my field, firewalls separate things that should not have contact with each other. I find that life requires these as well. Work, personal, and family time are equally important to a mans well being, and you have to separate these parts or you’ll begin to just exist aimlessly.
Firewalling work off means not fucking around when you should be working. It means focusing on your required tasks while in the office and leaving your bullshit elsewhere. It’s work, no one wants to be there so just suck it up and do what you have to.
Firewalling family time means not stuffing your face into your phone or answering emails when with your family. Remember, they all need you to be the captain of your family. They’ll need to know you have shit taken care of so they can relax better. It means making time to show them things, teach them things, and help them through life.
Firewalling personal time is similar. Personal time for me can be my time at the gym. I don’t think about work or look at emails. My family safe at home, I can focus on me. Even if I’m spending time with my guy friends, its not a time when your wife should be bitching at you or ruining your time. Get out and do you. You need this. Too many married guys go without this crucial part of the puzzle.
Remembering to take time for yourself to recharge is important. You should be making time to relax with your family, focus on work, and focus on yourself. Neglecting one of these areas can leave you feeling burnt out and incomplete. Try breaking your roles up like this and I can guarantee thing feel more well rounded.