Okay, okay, I will admit that this article headline is a bit clickbaity, but the subject we’re talking about is indeed valuable (dubious titles aside).
Today we’re discussing probably the most powerful backhanded insult you can give either your wife or LTR. The reason it is so powerful is because it works on multiple levels, eliciting both positive and negative feelings.
But first, let’s quickly discuss what a backhanded insult is so we avoid any confusion. A backhanded insult is essentially the opposite of a backhanded compliment (crazy, right?). Whereas a backhanded compliment sounds nice, but is really insulting (Oh that dress looks good on you. It really hides your extra folds of fat.), a backhanded insult is a comment that sounds insulting, but is really a compliment.
So what’s this mystical statement? Prepare to be initially disappointed before I explain.
“I don’t need to be with you. I want to be with you.”
Sounds pretty benign, doesn’t it? Well to a woman, this is incredibly insulting. They’ve grown up watching cartoons that end with “Happily ever after” and rom-coms that have men jumping through the most ludicrous hoops just to win the slightest affection of the woman. They’ve been inoculated at a young age that it’s a man’s job to chase…and chase, and chase, and chase, while the woman merely needs to sit back and enjoy the attention.
To say you don’t NEED them shatters this delusion and their hamster kicks into overdrive. Now simply saying that you don’t need them is just an insult. You got to give the other half of the statement and be prepared to explain what you mean by it.
“I want to be with you.”
The operative word here being “want,” not “need.” You are choosing to be with her, because you like being with her. If you need to be with your woman, you are her little bitch. She knows it. You know it. She is in the position of power.
By telling her you don’t need her, but want her, it levels the playing field. You’re telling her you value her companionship, but also that you continue to maintain a firm hold on the reins of your life.
Now let me make this abundantly clear if I haven’t already: This is NOT a statement your girl will like to hear. She will most likely get mad about it, but it’s just a shit test. Shrug it off, laugh, and give her a kiss before moving on.
Does this all look familiar? It should if you read the Dread Game series as this response evokes these same feelings. It is a rather brilliant mixture of Machiavellian tactics couched in your sincere feelings for her. She will be mad, yes…but she’ll also love you all the more for it.