“What’s in a life without Camaraderie? For setting sail on a ship with a band of merry brothers by your side is much more gratifying than drifting aimlessly on a boat lost alone at sea.”
-Saim A. Cheeda
The modern world has changed our lives in many ways, some for the better and some for the worse. Still, some other changes are unique and provide both benefits and hindrances. One such modern marvel is the creation of the internet and social media. With it, we have become more connected than ever before, able to talk to people around the globe in real time.
So why do many men feel more disconnected than ever?
Simply put, because humans are not made to simply communicate digitally. We were created to connect with other people in person, engaging in activities and hobbies that assist in forming bonds and friendships.
Men develop strong bonds with other men over group activities and hobbies, be it hiking, fishing, playing cards, or playing a sport. This simply cannot be done over the internet and masculinity, as a whole, has suffered. We’re limited to digital avatars and forums. This limitation is a large culprit to the modern struggle facing men. We no longer have mentors whom we could seek out for advice face-to-face. Now we email or private message virtual strangers, asking for advice on how to do better with women, fix our marriages, or build more muscle. It’s better than nothing, but it’s not the same.
I urge each man here to build their own tribe of like-minded men. The number of men in your tribe doesn’t matter so much as the quality of the men you surround yourself with. Having friends and chat rooms online is fine and a lot of good conversations can happen there, but you really need a group of men that you can meet face-to-face on a fairly consistent basis. While men aren’t as social as women are, we are still social creatures.
What type of tribe you build is ultimately up to you, but I have found a few key traits within the members that will make the group much stronger:
- Willing to hold others accountable for shortcomings.
- A desire to grow and better themselves.
- The ability to laugh at themselves and take the occasional joke at their own expense.
- Similar goal(s) for the tribe.
Go out and find your tribes, men. And may you become better men for it.