Response to “How to be a Happy Husband: Advice to a 15-Year-Old Son”

So the other day, one of our regular shitposters commenters, Thales, linked an article of a man giving advice to his 15 year old son on women and how to be a happy husband.  After reading through some of the tips and pointers, I knew we needed to look into this more.

Today we’re going to have a little fun and point out what this dude gets right and what he gets horribly, HORRIBLY wrong. 

We probably won’t address every single point he makes due to restraints on my attention span as well as some of my responses will address multiple points.  Let’s begin!

Section 1: How to Honor Your Future Wife

See, I already have a problem with this article and we’ve only made it to the first headline.  Honor your FUTURE wife?  Now I know some might make the argument that he means honor a woman you already have been dating and are planning to marry, but judging by the “advice” he’s offering in this section, that’s not the case.

The closest response I have for “honoring your future wife” is by honoring yourself.  Take care of yourself physically, mentally, spiritually, and financially, so when that lucky lady does come around, you are in a good spot in your life to focus on building a family.

That being said, let’s look at some of the tips.  My responses will be in bold.

  • Honor your future wife now by honoring all women and treating them with respect and dignity and by being a gentleman. -This guy has obviously never studied the inner workings of men.  Men don’t just dole out respect and honor to everyone and anyone.  Honor and respect is earned.
  • Respect your mother, and speak highly of her to your friends and girlfriends. -Sure…if you want to be known as the momma’s boy.  I don’t know of ANY men who are out there bragging about their mothers on a regular basis.  You should respect and honor your mother and father (Biblical teachings), but don’t go around talking about her to your friends all the time.  That’s weird…
  • Don’t date just for fun. -Bzzt! Wrong!  Dating is an integral part of the courting process and, while I don’t suggest young men to be banging a different broad each night, dating a few different women is crucial for figuring out what you are looking for in a potential wife.  Plus, dating is SUPPOSED to be fun.  Who’d be dating if it wasn’t?
  • Honor girls now by refusing to join in disrespectful banter that will occur with your friends. -It’s called shit talk.  It’s what guys do.  Again, this is something that, while frowned upon, is crucial for the development of young men.  It thickens their skins and hones their wits.
  • Assume that your girlfriend may be someone else’s future wife. -That’s called a self-fulfilling prophesy.  Also, I thought your kid wasn’t supposed to be dating for fun…
  • Look for a wife, not a girlfriend. -That’s not how courtship works.  You have a girlfriend first, then after a trial basis, you determine if she’s wife material.

Section 2: How to be a Happy Husband

Here’s where things get really weird.  This section is a plethora of advice that has little rhyme or reason.  Some advice is rather sound, some irrelevant, and some downright cuckish.  Let’s take a look.

  • Work hard, but put your presence with your wife and family ahead of your career goals.– Can’t really argue this point.  Work is a means to an end.  It shouldn’t consume your life.  That being said, you also need time away from the family to do things for yourself.
  • Pursue God together. -Again, good stuff if you’re religious.
  • Be her friend. -Ehhhh…I get the point he’s trying to make here, but I’m going to have to disagree.  Be her husband, her rock.
  • Do the dishes. -Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! We agreed she does the dishes and I mow the lawn!
  • Learn how to have conflict. Love in the midst of conflict. -Nothing wrong with these two points.  I would point readers to my series on Love & Respect.
  • Apologize (and don’t expect an apology) -Sure, if you genuinely fucked up.  Don’t be apologizing for stupid shit like leaving the toilet seat up.  On the flip side, expect your wife to behave the same.  If she genuinely fucks up, she ought to apologize as well.
  • Seek out wisdom from older husbands. -I’m betting this guy is referring to the old, hen-pecked husbands who have the look of dread and pent up frustration permanently etched on their faces.  No, seek wisdom from anyone out there who’s succeeding at what they’re doing, regardless of age.
  • Lay down your life for your family. -The foundational roles of men can be summed up with the 3 P’s: Protector, Provider, and Procreator.  If you’re not willing to lay down your life to protect your wife and kids, what are you doing leading a family?
  • Demand respect for your wife, not from your wife. -Wait…what?? I would point back to my Love & Respect series.  Men crave respect from their wives while wives crave love from their men.  Demand respect for yourself while providing love to your wife.
  • Laugh at her jokes. -If they’re funny, I’ll laugh.  If not, I’m won’t.
  • Watch your favorite comedies together over and over and over until the lines become part of everyday conversations. -No.  That actually gets annoying after a while. 
  • Learn how to cook. -I think pretty much every man here knows how to cook.  How did we ever survive when we out on our own, unmarried, alone in the cold, cruel world?
  • Never ever sleep on the couch. If necessary, sleep on the floor outside the bedroom door. -Ok, this is where the guy really loses all self-respect.  For you unmarried men out there, never EVER sleep on the floor.  In fact, never sleep on the couch unless you fell asleep watching TV.  If you and your wife are having a fight and she tells you to go sleep on the couch, simply tell her “no.”  It works.
  • Learn how to be wrong with patience and how to be right with humility. -This is called just being an adult.
  • Get away together whenever you can. -This one is fine.  Date nights and vacations help keep the marriage fun.
  • Eat everything she cooks. -Again, no.  My wife regularly makes spaghetti because she and the kids love it.  I really can’t stand spaghetti, so I don’t eat it.
  • Under-promise and over-deliver. -Depends on the situation.  Some things simply aren’t worth spending much time.
  • Display affection and say, “I love you” in front of your kids. -I actually vehemently agree with this one.  You need to not only display affection for your wife in front of your kids, but you need to game and flirt with her as well.  Don’t get too risqué or anything, but let your kids know that marriage isn’t some sterile relationship, devoid of passion.

Conclusion

Well I hope you guys enjoy this list of “advice” and responses.  I can’t say this guy is completely clueless, but it seems like he’s a bit too idealistic about marriage and is stuck in the blue pill mindset based on his tips.  Too much of his advice on how to be a happy husband revolves around pleasing the wife as opposed to focusing on yourself.

If your happiness is dependent on another person, you’re doomed for a marriage from hell.

Author: Jak

Jak, married and father of three, seeks to help the Red-Pill Community take its next step past the petty cynicism and ineffectual anger. While he recognizes that men are significantly handicapped by the modern legal system and culture, he doesn't accept that traditional marriage is untenable in today's social climate. Rather, men must be willing to adapt to this new world by implementing new tactics and approaches to maintaining a balance of power. Jak is here to provide you with these lessons.