Dating Mormons

Recently, I was introduced to the concept of AWALT (All Women Are Like That). I would have to say yes and no. Certainly, there are biological characteristics that all women have. (They tend to be more emotional than men for instance) But I reject the notion that all of them are these self-centered, narcissistic spoiled brats that are portrayed so often on various websites. My wife happens to be very kind hearted and has sacrificed a lot to hold her standards of morality and to care for me and my kids.

Sure, there are more than enough crappy women out there, but there are some decent ones too. Knowing where and how to look is key.

My Story

By the time I was 21, I was disgusted with the women in my life. As a fairly average high school kid, I had limited success, maybe two that I would consider girlfriends. I could get dates, but time and time again, I could sense they were not marriage material, and I would end up saying or doing something that would drive them away, or I would just leave them myself. At this time, I decided to go into college for engineering and I hoped to find a better class of women there.

College was no different. While taking my engineering major, I had no time for socializing with girls (except my sister, whom I carpooled and regularly ate lunch with). But, I would regularly overhear classroom chatter about this or that thirsty Thursday or something that would tip me off about their morals. Still, I was determined to find the rare girl who actually had a strong set of morals and would be worth investing my life into.

During the summer between my first and second year of college, an old Mormon friend of mine sent me a wedding invite. In high school, he had zero game. Even as Mormons go, he was a complete square, never had I heard him say any foul language, beyond “dagnabbit”. Still, he was a trustworthy fellow and friendly. No girls would give him the time of day (well, some girls would be friends with him, but nothing sexually, not that he showed he wanted that anyway). But here he was, marrying this good looking, and from what I could tell, moral young woman. It really got me thinking. This girl was what I have been looking for, and can’t find, and here is this dorky kid who snagged one at 22. (They are happily married for 20 years now).

By this time, I was questioning the existence of God and picked up the Bible and was thumbing through it regularly. I determined that I was going to do what it takes to find and hold onto a moral young woman like my friend had found. Back in college, I got a sense of who carried themselves the best and cleanest, and I went for these ones. Three dates in a row, they all ended up being Mormon girls, I realized this was more than a coincidence, considering I lived in an area where maybe one out of 10 was LDS. These girls would surely let me buy them dinner, but that was as far as it would go.

At this time, the internet was becoming widespread and chatrooms were become popular. I become acquainted with this girl (she lived hundreds of miles away, so no relationship) who asked me if I would go to church. Long story short, I was baptized a couple months later at 23 and I immersed myself into a new dating pool. The first year, I was looked at with skepticism, there were numerous guys who put on a show to snag these girls. But then I had to transfer schools so I could get into the engineering specific program. There, I could finally immerse myself completely into the LDS dating culture.

Differences Between Mormon Dating and What I Was Used To

The biggest difference was sex was off the table. The solid church going LDS girls were all waiting for marriage, the guys were the same. This changed the dating atmosphere in several ways, which I will go through.

Dates were much easier to get. No longer was a date a big deal. You could take a girl out just by thumbing through the church directory and calling a number, or just asking them when you bump into them at church. My success rate for landing a first date was upwards of 90 percent.

The dates were cheap and corny. A good friend of mine had this thing going were we would have double dates going. We would think up an activity, two to three weeks in advance, then it would be up to us to find a girl to go. Typically, it would be something like mini-golf, a picnic in the park, maybe a hike or something. The investment would be low, never above $20.

Rules of etiquette applied. To keep from compromising situations, you would follow Mike Pence type rules. Dates would end by 11PM, you wouldn’t go somewhere alone with her, you didn’t lay down with her (like watching fireworks), you would stay modest in your dress…..etc.

On top of those rules, chivalry was big. Opening doors and letting her take your jacket type stuff was expected. Still, etiquette went both ways (very rare today), she would take your jacket or dish for you.

Traditional dating procedure. Dating followed a specific format, there was the dating phase where you took out many girls, and they knew you were taking out others, but didn’t really care. Then you entered into the “going steady” phase, where you dated exclusively. Next, you buy an engagement ring, talk with her dad, and pop the question. Engagements were the time you would be physically preparing for marriage.

Conclusion

I don’t want to give off the impression that I am trying to make you become a Mormon. What I want you to take off this is there are things you can do to find the right girl. They are out there.

Author: Jim Johnson

As a man in his early 40's, I grew up on a dairy farm in an irreligious home. Disgusted with the choice of women out there, I looked into religion to find a worthwhile mate. At 23, I joined the LDS (Mormon) faith, married, became a civil engineer, and now have six children. My favorite things are puppies, long walks on the beach, and the color blue (not really).