0611 – I rush out of my Brownstone home in the decrepit Township of Fraternal Affection and scamper down the sidewalk towards my place of “employment”. I’ve got to poop so bad but I never do so at home (the wife won’t stand for it). Weekends can be tough sometimes….
Anyways, I power walk in the direction of my office building, taking in the sights as I go. The burned out metal drums, the rusted out cars, the tribal graffiti by the local dindus, etc, etc, etc. I LOVE my city. Such culture.
0638 – I burst through the bathroom door and quickly lock it behind me. I turtlehead as I frantically unbuckle my belt and drop my trousers to the floor. Before my heinie touches the seat I’ve already dropped a deuce. Ahhhhhhhh.
0642 – No paper. WTF!!?? No paper? What dik wouldn’t put new paper out? Stinking faegs. Oh, well. I didn’t really like these socks anyway. My wife’s gonna kill me. I pull out my Nokia phone and text her to let her know. This takes forever because you have to hit some numbers multiple times to get the right letter.
0714 – Finally at my desk, where I can try my best to avoid work while surfing the web. I open my 2 TB folder of memes and gifs and log onto AKC, after checking out ilovebeinggay.com, of course. And saying 52 Hail Marys.
Another day in the life of a rock star.