A Gentleman

Day 101: Woke up at 5:51. Sprang from bed and rushed into bathroom to wet my hair and apply gel, lest my wife see me without it and remove my ‘snuggling’ privileges. Then I pee and brush my teeth, at the same time. Afterwards I checked my phone. 4 messages from Bruce. I reply with a kissy face emoji and begin to dress.

6:00 – I move to my closet where my best friend/spouse has chosen my outfit for the day. She’s such an inspiration. So strong and fierce…….

6:22 – After crying thinking of how much my wife means to me I am ready to face the world. I slip into my penny loafers (no socks) and stop to gaze at my magnificent mane of manly hair before grabbing my breakfast bowl of potatoes, bananas, and sugar, unlocking the door, slipping into my Prius, and leaving for my soul-crushing desk jockey job. To cheer myself and steel my heart for the coming trial, I turn on Sam Smith and sing along as I drive into the city.

What a life

Author: Jump and Jive

Married father of three who both he and his wife were virgins at marriage. Raised by a prophet who foretold the end result of feminism. Raising his family to love God and each other and stay pure in this filthy world. Wife is stay at home mom and loves it. Leads youth at church and wants to spread truth as much as possible

One thought on “A Gentleman”

  1. Eggs in coffee.
    Potatoes.
    Ukraitian aids
    Monkey brains
    Godfather…. godfather. …. godfather…..

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