Day 101: Woke up at 5:51. Sprang from bed and rushed into bathroom to wet my hair and apply gel, lest my wife see me without it and remove my ‘snuggling’ privileges. Then I pee and brush my teeth, at the same time. Afterwards I checked my phone. 4 messages from Bruce. I reply with a kissy face emoji and begin to dress.
6:00 – I move to my closet where my best friend/spouse has chosen my outfit for the day. She’s such an inspiration. So strong and fierce…….
6:22 – After crying thinking of how much my wife means to me I am ready to face the world. I slip into my penny loafers (no socks) and stop to gaze at my magnificent mane of manly hair before grabbing my breakfast bowl of potatoes, bananas, and sugar, unlocking the door, slipping into my Prius, and leaving for my soul-crushing desk jockey job. To cheer myself and steel my heart for the coming trial, I turn on Sam Smith and sing along as I drive into the city.
What a life