Nihilistic Yawker

0330 – Wake up in my swanky NYC apartment. Look over at the dame I brought home last night. She was an 8.7 at the time, but now has mutated into a 4.3. Danged alcohol.

0336 – Stagger into the kitchen and pour myself a shot of the dog, while my dog watches.

0341 – Turn on shower and step into spray. As I wash my crotch I notice something. Horror of horrors!! THERE’S A PUBE DOWN THERE!!! I CAN’T HAVE THAT!!! WHAT WOULD THE ROMANIAN TWINS THINK OF THAT!!! Frantically I strop my razor and eliminate the hair. I’ll need to reprimand my wax therapist for that.

0402 – Kick the girl out of my apartment after calling her an Uber. Grab my gym bag and head out.

0748 – Finally finish my workout. Realize that I crapped my pants during the 422nd deadlift. Dangit. I wondered why that sexy mama wrinkled her nose like that when she walked past me. Oh, well. Can’t win them all.

1422 – Line up my night’s activities. The twins are out of pocket so I’ll meet this yoga instructor at one of my favorite 5 stars and we’ll see where it goes. Smack a manager around for slacking. Quote the Godfather 1,000,000,000,000,000 times.

 

 

Author: Jump and Jive

Married father of three who both he and his wife were virgins at marriage. Raised by a prophet who foretold the end result of feminism. Raising his family to love God and each other and stay pure in this filthy world. Wife is stay at home mom and loves it. Leads youth at church and wants to spread truth as much as possible

71 thoughts on “Nihilistic Yawker”

    1. Thales and bem are not gonna like this, they put a lot of effort into bumping up the comment count

        1. now there will be a race to be the first poster on all the old threads again.

          me thinks the fruit will juice them all.

  1. Last two (g)Rapefruit posts: calling someone gay, and predator ripping out a spine. Perfect. Not a bad way to go.

  2. Took a drive today, only about five miles, but gained five thousand feet until my pickup couldn’t go any further. All to eat a bunch of cheap hot dogs and chili

  3. What the hell happened on Friday? I feel like I’m taking a walk through Nagasaki in mid-August 1945.

    1. Same here. I was gone rock climbing, check back yesterday and comments deleted and a bunch of other stuff. From what I gather (anyone correct me if I’m wrong) grapefruit posted porn, got banned, that and jak disabled his account which created huge ramifications because he was one of the original creators

      1. Did you just suggest grapefruit invented AKC? Because that just doesn’t seem plausible. Now if you told me he invented sperging, yeah, maybe. But not AKC.

      2. Jak disabled his own account or (c)onsentfruit’s?

        Alternate theory: my phone autocorrects “jak” to “Hal,” which would explain a lot.

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