0330 – Wake up in my swanky NYC apartment. Look over at the dame I brought home last night. She was an 8.7 at the time, but now has mutated into a 4.3. Danged alcohol.
0336 – Stagger into the kitchen and pour myself a shot of the dog, while my dog watches.
0341 – Turn on shower and step into spray. As I wash my crotch I notice something. Horror of horrors!! THERE’S A PUBE DOWN THERE!!! I CAN’T HAVE THAT!!! WHAT WOULD THE ROMANIAN TWINS THINK OF THAT!!! Frantically I strop my razor and eliminate the hair. I’ll need to reprimand my wax therapist for that.
0402 – Kick the girl out of my apartment after calling her an Uber. Grab my gym bag and head out.
0748 – Finally finish my workout. Realize that I crapped my pants during the 422nd deadlift. Dangit. I wondered why that sexy mama wrinkled her nose like that when she walked past me. Oh, well. Can’t win them all.
1422 – Line up my night’s activities. The twins are out of pocket so I’ll meet this yoga instructor at one of my favorite 5 stars and we’ll see where it goes. Smack a manager around for slacking. Quote the Godfather 1,000,000,000,000,000 times.