Tacos In Name Only

A common subject that is discussed in the Mexican food community is the commercialization of ethinc food and how modern society gobbles them up at an alarming rate, giving them benefits simply due to “muh  hunger.”

This is a BROWN ZONE ARTICLE

True, there are many issues that seek to remove the agency and accountability of our mass produced bullshit, but how often to we turn the focus around on ourselves?  How often do we look at what we as taco chefs are doing?

No, I’m not talking about bullshit things like “tex-mex,” but rather how modern society is destroying tacos.

This article is purely my own opinion based on observation and some speculation, but I’m willing to bet I’m not far off in identifying the factors that have created so many TINO’s, or Tacos In Name Only.

It is my belief that Taco Bell plays a large part in this degradation of men.  Browse the menu for 5 minutes and you’ll see plenty of “Tacos” who are being served in a matter becoming of their nature.  The problem is only exacerbated by places like Chili’s.

Symptoms

I won’t spend much time on this section, but some of the chronic symptoms I find in these TINO’s are as follows:

  • Sloppiness – They never look like the picture!
  • Inferior Ingredients- the fuck is this? Dogmeat?
  • Culturally Offensive – Quesarido?  Doritos Locos?
  • Not even Remote Mexican:  How is Baja Blast Mexican?

Causes

So what causes these disgusting behaviors by “Big Taco”?  Why have we largely replaced the classic recipes of our ancestors for a $5 Burrito Box? The rabbit hole goes deep and for brevity’s sake, I will not get into the biological portion of my speculation. Ugh, mi culo

Instead, I will focus on how Big Taco has altered our minds and brought us to where we are today.

  • Logistics: Fuckin Taco Bell’s everywhere!
  • Price – You know how much an authentic carne asada costs?
  • False Fulfillment– It seemed like a good idea after 7 Corona’s and 4 shots of tequila…but you’ll pay for it on both ends the next day. jej

Don’t Fall Into the Queso

It’s incredibly easy to gradually get tricked into buying this slop.  If you DO eat at taco chains often, surround yourself with hot sauces that make it taste better.  The old saying that “If you’re the fattest person in a room, then you’re in the dining room” definitely applies.  Find people that challenge you burritoly, tacoly, and jalepenoly.

If you’re getting food poisioning, quietly leave.  Don’t try to change the recipe.  That’s not your job.  Just pack up your huevos and leave.  If you believe the people will resent you and come after you, do as much toilet control (quietly) as you can before leaving.  Be friendly.   Be sure to be the bigger man (jej)  and only take what is yours and nothing more.  Do not try to seek revenge on the establishment as you’re on your way out.  Just close up shop and cease all consumption

You got one life to live.  Don’t spend it going to the same fake taco shops again and again (doesnt that sound pathetic). Spend your time enjoying life, real life, and not being a tortilla chip in the salsa bowl.

You were called to be greater.  Your ancestors struggled and suffered just so you could eat tacos today.  Are you respecting their efforts or squandering them?

76 thoughts on “Tacos In Name Only”

    1. I saw a girl back in August that had a tattoo of that little green character on her upper arm.
      Without the Taco hat, of course.
      Didn’t make it any less bizarre.

        1. She was in one the pics I put on my SA.
          I covered her tattoos by wrapping my arms around her when we took the selfie.

  1. CORN tortillas.
    They must be CORN.
    Not flour – never flour.
    Everything else is secondary.

    Pro tip: Mexicans don’t put cheese on tacos. If you must, use the crumbly little Mexican queso cotija.

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