99 Rules, Part 9

men suits hats

9. You don’t have to like baseball, but you should understand the concept of what a pitcher’s ERA means. Approach life similarly.

I don’t know what a ERA means. But, I understand having a basic idea of things that are somewhat important. Guess I never thought of baseball as something worth learning about.

However, I have done the best to obtain a basic knowledge of welding, mechanics, home repair, stocks and some entertainment. Good to not be an idiot to the more important stuff in life.

Author: Jim Johnson

As a man in his early 40's, I grew up on a dairy farm in an irreligious home. Disgusted with the choice of women out there, I looked into religion to find a worthwhile mate. At 23, I joined the LDS (Mormon) faith, married, became a civil engineer, and now have six children. My favorite things are puppies, long walks on the beach, and the color blue (not really).

196 thoughts on “99 Rules, Part 9”

    1. That’s fine if e do or don’t. This is like when my wife throws a can of pumpkin into what is supposed to be a cheesy casserole. It is only a substitute filler. Can’t fill up on the real stuff each day or we will end up looking like Augustus Gloop.

            1. Every Korean dish I’ve tried yields the same reaction: I’d like it even better if it wasn’t so damn spicy.

              1. TBH, I’ve found some Szechuan hot pot dishes to be even spicier.
                But yeah, the Koreans like to load it up.

              1. Trust me, they all are.

                Samgyetang is the one that is not spicy.
                It is a whole small chicken, stuffed with rice and other things, served in a rich broth with ginseng and jujube fruits. Of course at restaurants where itis served, you have the option of adding kimchi and hot pepper paste to spice it up.

        1. Beef or pork intestines and tripe in a spicy red bean paste flavored broth with vegetables and rice flour dumplings. Delicious.

          1. i can’t even see the word duke without thinking about some early high school love i had who told me she was related to the duke of earl. Her father, it seems, told her this (ostensibly for lulz).

  1. Jim, do you have not only a working knowledge of, but an expert level of knowledge of:

    Dancing, language, security, stand up comedy, fitness, book editing, dalmatian breeding, being a lone wolf biker, a member of the worlds elite, having one foot in the underworld, music, being a spy on 2 continents to the point that the army is following your every move, fucking girls in corn fields and cumming 76.59 times, and bench pressing German and American cars?

    If not you’re a beta simp

    1. I agree. And as with dog training, women respond to training as well. Pick up a dog or horse training book sometime, the methods and psychology are identical, although generally you don’t want to reward her with dog biscuits or apple slices. Heh.

            1. I used to read bem as george for a while. Now i hear him as a blathering lunatic retard. It seems to fit

                    1. My god, I actually remember this…
                      “On January 30, 1989, a 22-year-old man named Kenneth Lamar Noid walked into a Domino’s Pizza in Atlanta, Georgia, with a .357 magnum revolver and took two employees hostages. After a five-hour standoff during which Noid demanded $100,000 in ransom money, the employees in question escaped. But the damage to the Noid brand was done: not only was the headline too good to ignore (“Domino’s Hostages Couldn’t Avoid the Noid this Time”) but it turned out that Kenneth Lamar Noidactually believed he was the Noid–or, at least, the Noid’s original inspiration.”


                    2. oh lord

                      Kenneth Lamar Noid

                      January 30, 1989, Kenneth Lamar Noid, a mentally ill man who thought
                      the ads were a personal attack on him, held two employees of an Atlanta
                      Domino’s restaurant hostage for over five hours. After forcing them to
                      make him a special pizza and a salad and making demands for $100,000,
                      getaway transportation, and a copy of The Widow’s Son, Noid surrendered to the police.[10] After the incident ended, Police Chief Reed Miller told reporters, “He’s paranoid.”[11]
                      Noid was charged with kidnapping, aggravated assault, extortion, and
                      possession of a firearm during a crime. He was found not guilty by
                      reason of insanity. Noid spent three months in a mental institution, but
                      eventually committed suicide in 1995. This incident has been insinuated
                      to have caused Domino’s Pizza to discontinue advertising using the Noid
                      as their mascot,[12] though this has been rejected by the company and the advertisers.[13]

                    3. I have a hard time believing that is actually true. I think that happened in some clown world universe and got slip-streamed into our timeline via some kind of crazy Mandela Effect shit.

                    4. The mandela effect is when your are a bomb making terrorist yet you convince people youre the victim.

                    5. Would never have gotten this far had there been a high T concealed-carry alpha in the vicinity.

  2. Bitches better be welding & learning about baseball…I support the Equal Rights Amendment .

        1. we had a mandatory workplace violence thing in my office. I wanted to walk in with a pipe and be like “woah, this is NOT what i thought it was gonna be”

          1. I had to watch a workplace shooting training video at work. What i took from it was, as a white male im supposed to keep a duffel bag of guns in my trunk at all times.

            1. Are you suggesting that you do not currently have a duffel bag fun of guns in your trunk right now?

  3. A man becomes preeminent, he’s expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms, enthusiasms… What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Baseball! A man stands alone at the plate. This is the time for what? For individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the field, what? Part of a team. Teamwork… Looks, throws, catches, hustles. Part of one big team. Bats himself the live-long day, Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and so on. If his team don’t field… what is he? You follow me? No one. Sunny day, the stands are full of fans. What does he have to say? I’m goin’ out there for myself. But… I get nowhere unless the team wins.


    1. This one looks stabby. I would also bet that shirt she is wearing has holes in the sleeves for her thumbs.

          1. Okay, just for you, I’ll find a stabber for Monday. But you have to pretend you don’t already know the answer.

      1. Now we’re getting somewhere. I’ll count this as ‘Possession of controlled substances’, and it makes you 1/16th correct!

        1. So 16 counts of Possession of Controlled Substances? How’d that bitch get arrested for that? She too good to suck a cop’s dick or something?

      1. Close.

        Actually, this one isn’t particularly special; I was just amused at the volume of charges:

        2nd degree robbery (2 counts)
        Kidnapping (2 counts)
        Kidnapping to commit robbery
        Kidnapping during a carjacking
        Making terrorist threats (2 counts)
        Failure to appear
        Petty theft
        Receiving stolen property
        Possession of controlled substances

        Possess of personal identifying information of another person with intent to defraud
        Unauthorized use of personal identifying information

          1. Incident was 2015, release about 1 year from now. So 5-ish years.

            Which seems light, considering, but what is listed above was just booking, not what was prosecuted.

            1. Hmm. There seems to be some kind of rule in effect here that says people who drive a convertible are required to proceed to the nearest mass shooting and volunteer themselves to get blasted away.

          1. I don’t think so. Actual information on the incident is a bit sparse. Perhaps deducing from the set of charges, specifically “Kidnapping to commit robbery”, it sounds plausible that someone is being told to drive to the nearest ATM and take money out of their account. So I would infer it wasn’t an actual kid.

            1. He walked down the row shooting them in the head as they sat there. One of pistols was a 10 shot .22 pistol. Survivors said people continued sitting as he reloaded.

              You teach victimhood, you get victims.

                1. I don’t know what his aim of success was. I was just stating the results of the victims who remained passive. Are you saying survivors of mass murder cheated the killer? Bizarre logic you are advocating there.

                  1. Not at all! Only saying that, assuming the goal of mass killers in schools is to kill the most people, the chink is winning. If it is because of talent, fire power or target selection I don’t think that matters

                    1. I, personal opinion inserted, would wish to impede the goal of mass killers. Be it communists, terrorists or the Clintons. The chink won a higher body count because of taught passivity in a educational institution that requires it. His “talent, arms or target selection” had little to with the end results and not sure why his goal is even considered worthy of thought?

            1. In prison, conjugal visits were always a big thing.
              We had a foreplay course, then we had some ATM.
              It was a very good system.

      1. Yeah, but she seems crazy like a bag lady, not crazy like a sex fiend.

        Maybe I’m wrong, but my guess she has limited skills.

    1. Negative. Very crazy eyes. Weird mouth shape. Does she even have tits or an ass?
      Eeeehhh. Sure. Id hatefuck her so good

      Arenr you the guy who claims tp have an ss(super small/knotsea) dick?.

      1. This one is back in the news:


        It turns out it wasn’t 65,000 text messages after all. It was really 159,000 text messages.

        “I’d make sushi outta ur kidneys and chopsticks outta ur hand bones”


    2. WNB.
      Weird face.
      Weird teeth.
      If I met her in the whorehouse, and there was no one else available, I suppose I would put her on her stomach for a quick wham bam, but I would not repeat. And no tip for her.

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