99 Rules, Part 12

  1. “Remember when” is the lowest form of conversation.

I would think that taunting and verbally bullying toddlers is lower, but still it is not very productive. What it does is create an image of you not beinghappy with yourself as you are today. Be interesting in how you are today, not like Al Bundy or Uncle Rico, talking about their past football experiences.




Author: Jim Johnson

As a man in his early 40's, I grew up on a dairy farm in an irreligious home. Disgusted with the choice of women out there, I looked into religion to find a worthwhile mate. At 23, I joined the LDS (Mormon) faith, married, became a civil engineer, and now have six children. My favorite things are puppies, long walks on the beach, and the color blue (not really).

319 thoughts on “99 Rules, Part 12”

  1. 1, 2, 6, π, 4, 5, 7, Phantom 12, 11, X, 8, 9, 14, 13, Legitimate 12.

    To Be Continued…


    For a couple more weeks, anyway.

    Tick… Tock…

    1. From a starting point of 1, x = n * (n-1), so

      2*1 = 2
      3*2 = 6
      And then I get lost, never to recover.

        1. Fucking mexicans dropped the ball big time in 2012. I was all ready for the mexican prophecy of danny trejo destroying the earth by hitting it with a stick like a pinata to come true. I was very sad when they fucked it up.

          1. Yeah when this place gets nuked, I got disqus working there. We can just post a random pic or video daily to shitpost on in the comments.

              1. It’s perfect for us. A small family place, good talk. Nobody minds his
                business. It’s perfect. Mark: they got an old-fashion’ toilet — you know,
                the box, and – and – and – ah the chain-thing. We might be able to
                tape the gun behind it.

          2. J’Nyk created this as our Helms Deep of shitposting last time the grownups threatened to shut us down.

          1. Tony Accardo custom snare head is happening to my new drum kit. The problem being no one in my real life will appreciate it as much as all of you

            1. The Pride of your Beats Laboratory!
              (and yes if I get anywhere near that kit I’m wiping my balls all over it. Sleep tight.)

    1. I always keep a hatchet in the car. Just in case. Ive been known to circumcise a gnat.
      Wait a minute, bee, gnat. Is there some similarities there?….

  2. “ remember when is the lowest form of conversation “

    Totally true . It’s why I hate family guy

                    1. You’re going to have to connect this to the Godfather in some way if you want it to really get big.

      1. Boy the girls Roosh V Played
        Articles that would get us laid
        Guys like us we could have it made
        Those were the days

        And you knew who you were then
        Troy Francis could always get a ten
        Mister we could use a bs artist
        Like Ghost of Jefferson Again

        Tom Arrow was in a depressed state
        Father of Three thinking only whites should procreate
        Pabst just thought the chinks was great
        Those were the days

            1. My favorite memory relating to this was Rick Ross referring to his coke being so white he named it Archie Bunker “I got that Archie Bunka, shit so white I’ma charge em double”

              Not sure how that rhymes but who am I to critique.

        1. “Pabst just thought the chinks was great”- this is repeating in my brains in Edith’s grating voice non stop now

        1. Making your way on the line today
          wastes all the time you’ve got.

          Avoiding your own shitty life
          sure would help a lot.

          Wouldn’t you like to get away?

          Sometimes you want to go
          Where nobody knows your fukkin name
          And they don’t believe how much you came

          You want to be where you can see
          The trolls are all the same

          You want to be where nobody knows your name

          You want to go where people know
          That shitposting is the Way
          And if you don’t we’ll all still call you gayyyyyyy

          WB Fitness inspired me

                    1. Yes, but they were talking about Herefdalta, wife of King Argnoldt, the first Queen of Sweden who once danced for an invading horde of barbarians. The song is about how her beautiful dancing entranced the barbarians, giving the Swedish knights time to sneak up behind them and slit all their throats, thereby saving the Kingdom. Very high T shit.

                    2. Swedish nights and barbarians are totally hetero, bro Almost as hetero as Vikings and Irish ancestors. Heh

  3. Speaking of “Remember When” –

    At Sturgis, bacin in ’15, I was more or less *chosen* to come up and compete with a girly girl in the push-up category. Only because I was a “really big guy, you probably do these in your sleep”. The DJ guy had two hotties sitting on my back while little snowflake girl had no handicaps. We start, and I just smoke her in reps. Hard. She gets up and what do you think she does? She gets all emotional on how “unfair” it was and that she wasn’t “ready” despite, just prior to the word “go” she was all about girl power (she plays roller derby so she had an ego and an “I can take any man!” attitude). Like you could see the water welling up in her eyes. And of course the stupid ass DJ white knights for her, and we do it again, only this time I have 3 girls on my back. I crank our 6, she gets 5 (she went after me this time) and then the DJ “helps” her with 6, and declares her the winner because “a big guy like me shouldn’t be tying little girls like this”. Fucking pushups. I took him aside later when the music was playing and called him a desperate little faggot. Later that day I see her and she’s telling her noodly boyo “I beat him at pushups”. Heh.

          1. Now to buy GrusHEHnka’s onion at the time cost a kopeck and in those days kopecks had pictures of bumblebees on ’em. Gimme five bees for a ruble you’d say

          1. Nope.
            Why i remember back in 19 dickity two. You had to say dickity then cuz the krauts stole our 20s.

    1. Those dudes are just wrestling with that alligator because they know they look cool. Otherwise they would be pumping a shotgun slug into the fukker’s head like any sensible person.

      1. Last time I was in Paris was 2015. I was so skeeved out I wanted to shower with steel wool when I got to England. It’s not a tourist destination, anymore. It is a shithole. It is like Canton Ohio, without any retail parks.

        1. It has always been that way in some areas, but is it like that in, say the 16th now? Mind you, i haven’t been there since i was getting 6:1 on the franc so i don’t remember much but even then i remember a lot of really shitty places and a lot of very nice places.

    1. An organized citizen run on the banks is more cleansing than the sharpest Guillotine blade.

      1. Oh, look at Mr. High Standards over here. What are you, some kind of big shot? That fat girl in the middle will suck your cock like its her last meal, and that crazy bitch on the end will fuck you like a roller coaster.

                  1. Gary Oldman. He played the ocean in Jaws. He also played the forest in the original Predator. Great actor, very versatile.

                    1. I deal with this super fag lawyer for work all the time in a adversarial role…not hostile, we are on the same team, but we are often adversaries. He is hugely flamboyant and acts that way in everything. I was thinking of going on ebay where you can buy an actual tony award for like 400 bucks and just keeping it in my office and waiting for one day when he makes a huge fucking production out of something, hand it to him and just walk out and leave him to sit and think about what just happened. I wouldn’t of course, but i think about it all the time.

                    2. He also single-handedly played every car in The Fast and The Furious 1-6. He was replaced by mexican actors in the later films because they wanted to keep the production costs down.

            1. Million Dollar Idea!:
              App that links Instagram Slut Pic to booking photo. Have to pay Instagram (who pays US) to disable.

              1. AKC has done very well here with shitposting. It owns, or,it tries to control two major godfather scripts and a fruit. The trolling was grandfathered in from ROK so there is no problem with the manosphere. Now my sources tell me that they plan to make an app that links slut pics to booking photos and charge instagram to disable. They tell me within a week you’re gonna move Cynic out. That’s quite an expansion. However, it will leave one little techinical problem…ahhh, the licese is in Cynic’s name. So let’s cut the bullshit. I don’t want to spend any more time godfathering this site than I have to. Let’s say that Cynic will give the license to Lou Skunt. The price is nothing plus a monthly payment of even less than that.

                    1. Stupid. Animals behaving like that with souls…..
                      Important thing is, that you’re alright. Good shitposting — the most important thing in the world. More than notch-count, more than T — more than upvotes.

                    2. Little known fact:
                      The part of jaws, character a great white shark, was actually played by 3 different squids.

        1. I’ll also admit that my (intentional) phrasing might have been a little deceptive. I said “Today’s felonies are: Meth, Meth, Knife.” – already in the correct order. People might just assume they were not.

      1. Samantha was charged with “trafficking in methamphetamine, possession of drug paraphernalia, trafficking in opium or heroin, and simple possession of a schedule VI controlled substance”


        Melody is 5’5″, 140. Not terribly fat. Charged with “conspiracy to distribute 500 grams or more of methamphetamine”.


        Kalie “was arrested Wednesday morning after allegedly pulling a knife on a man the day before. [She] was charged with terroristic threat for alleged threats made through social media”.


      1. local tv affiliate doctored the live broadcast IN REAL TIME.
        dood supposedly was fired.
        tech is getting too creepy for me

    1. I got a couple words. It’s Seattle. They elect socialists. Nobody is thinking straight in the entire city. This isn’t too surprising.

  4. 257 comments. A decent day’s work. But if we are going to make this place succeed, we’re going to have to increase our shitpost output. We need more shit, gentlemen. Get to work.

  5. Member berries
    Member berries.
    You guys member when in the godfather the old man put a slice of orange in his mouth and make believed he was a monster? Member?

  6. You guys member when in the ghostbusters when gozer asks ray if hes a god and ray says no and blasts them with friggin lazers that somehow dont actually hurt and winston says to ray when someone asks if youre a god you say yes? Member?

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