The Ninja

Greetings all you mere mortals, heh. Prepare to bask in the awesomeness of me.

Got a problem? I’ve already been there, done that. Here, let me show you……………………….

Bad job? Have I got an idea for you, heh. Have you considered buying cheap Chinese manufactured junk (heh) and reselling them on Amazon for a 100% mark-up? Or developing your own brand of overnight oats? Maybe you should think about trying upwork.com for an extra buck or million, heh. Or maybe you should just pray real hard for God to drop $1M in your lap while you’re at it? I know you don’t want to work hard, heh, and smart. Just keep hunting those gold pots at the end of the rainbow. I’m sure that will work out for you, heh.

Need to shed some pounds? Heh, well you’ve come to the right place at the right time. Oxycut is the way to go. You’ll have those Viking princesses all over you in no time, heh, heh, hehhhhh. Or just drop an egg in your coffee.

While we’re discussing pills, let’s talk about Testosterone. As your body ages you have to cheat a little to maintain your frame (heh). That’s where the little T pill comes in. Pop that sucker in and return to the vibrancy of your youth. Heh, the women will be falling all over you and you can be free to do your body weight exercises instead of those mean ol’ weights.

Heh, while I’m on it, let’s discuss these lunkheads who use free weights. The poor dears just don’t understand the meanness of a man with a finely oiled beard and pomaded hair pumping out 200 pushups a day. Heh, it drives the wife crazy to see the sweat dripping off your moobs.

Think you need dieting and exercise to lose weight? Nah, just crank up the cold water and watch the fat go down the drain. I mean, heh, you can burn 4.2896 calories in just 30 miserable minutes in an arctic stream of water. Why do jumping jacks when you can crank in the cold, heh? And if you wack off in the shower you can burn a few more calories. That’s the only way your pecker will see action if you live like this anyway.

 

Heh, heh, heh, hehhhhhhhh

 

Personal Finances Phase 8 – Getting out of Debt

It has been awhile since I had any articles in this series.

In last article, we discussed the realities of debt. I asked you to create an inventory of your existing debts and to share that with your family. In this article, we are going to discuss how to use that information and plan a workable attack strategy to overcome debt. Continue reading “Personal Finances Phase 8 – Getting out of Debt”

Personal Finances – Phase 7: Understanding Debt

We are now officially halfway through the series. In last article, we discussed protecting your family from hardship through building a one-month emergency fund and acquiring adequate insurance. I challenged you to review your existing insurance policies and to start building an emergency savings worth one month of your income. In this article, we will discuss what debt can do to your life. Continue reading “Personal Finances – Phase 7: Understanding Debt”

Personal Finances – Phase 6: Protect Your Family from Hardship

In last article, we discussed overcoming problems and things we can do in order to better sick to a budget. I challenged you to review your budget, and decide on steps to take as a family to stick to that budget. In this article, we will discuss things we can do to help protect ourselves from the inevitable financial problems that come up. Continue reading “Personal Finances – Phase 6: Protect Your Family from Hardship”

Personal Finances – Phase 5: Sticking to Your Budget

In my last article, we discussed the steps and things to consider when creating a balanced budget. I challenged you to create a budget, it you haven’t already done so. In this article, we will discuss how to overcome difficulties which will inevitably come so that you can follow through on the commitments you made when you created your budget.

Continue reading “Personal Finances – Phase 5: Sticking to Your Budget”

Personal Finance – Phase 4: Creating a Budget

In last article, we discussed prioritization of money and changing your mindset into using a faith based approach in spending. In this article, we use the information we have collected, and the proper mindset to develop an aggressive, yet realistic budget to achieve your financial goals.

Continue reading “Personal Finance – Phase 4: Creating a Budget”

5 Lessons I’ve Learned Buying My First Home

Currently I’m renting my home and after months of searching, saving, and almost purchasing a nightmare of a property, I have learned a lot about the home buying process.  I’ve finally settled on getting a home built for me that fits the needs of the family, while also being an investment for me to sell in the future.  Today I’ll go over 5 things I’ve learned about buying your first home.  Continue reading “5 Lessons I’ve Learned Buying My First Home”

Phase 3 – Prioritize your Spending and Give Charitably

 

In the last article, we discussed the foundation needed for a strong financial mindset, faith, unity, and commitment. In this article, we start laying the groundwork by making the work for us, rather than us working for the money. Continue reading “Phase 3 – Prioritize your Spending and Give Charitably”

Personal Finance – Phase 2: The Foundation of Faith, Unity, and Commitment

The Roadmap and Becoming Unified in Your Approach

With most projects, a plan is beneficial to see your goals, where you are in achieving those goals, and what you need to do to get from point A to point B. Personal financial stewardship is no different. Continue reading “Personal Finance – Phase 2: The Foundation of Faith, Unity, and Commitment”

Personal Finances – Phase 1: Self Reliance

Last week, my wife and I started a 12 part seminar on personal finances. This program is for those of us who want to increase independence, become unified as a family in temporal matters, and improve personal responsibility. During the next several weeks, I plan to regurgitate what I have learned, incorporating with my thoughts. In doing so, I hope to reinforce what I have learned and be of some benefit to you. Continue reading “Personal Finances – Phase 1: Self Reliance”