The Ninja

Greetings all you mere mortals, heh. Prepare to bask in the awesomeness of me.

Got a problem? I’ve already been there, done that. Here, let me show you……………………….

Bad job? Have I got an idea for you, heh. Have you considered buying cheap Chinese manufactured junk (heh) and reselling them on Amazon for a 100% mark-up? Or developing your own brand of overnight oats? Maybe you should think about trying upwork.com for an extra buck or million, heh. Or maybe you should just pray real hard for God to drop $1M in your lap while you’re at it? I know you don’t want to work hard, heh, and smart. Just keep hunting those gold pots at the end of the rainbow. I’m sure that will work out for you, heh.

Need to shed some pounds? Heh, well you’ve come to the right place at the right time. Oxycut is the way to go. You’ll have those Viking princesses all over you in no time, heh, heh, hehhhhh. Or just drop an egg in your coffee.

While we’re discussing pills, let’s talk about Testosterone. As your body ages you have to cheat a little to maintain your frame (heh). That’s where the little T pill comes in. Pop that sucker in and return to the vibrancy of your youth. Heh, the women will be falling all over you and you can be free to do your body weight exercises instead of those mean ol’ weights.

Heh, while I’m on it, let’s discuss these lunkheads who use free weights. The poor dears just don’t understand the meanness of a man with a finely oiled beard and pomaded hair pumping out 200 pushups a day. Heh, it drives the wife crazy to see the sweat dripping off your moobs.

Think you need dieting and exercise to lose weight? Nah, just crank up the cold water and watch the fat go down the drain. I mean, heh, you can burn 4.2896 calories in just 30 miserable minutes in an arctic stream of water. Why do jumping jacks when you can crank in the cold, heh? And if you wack off in the shower you can burn a few more calories. That’s the only way your pecker will see action if you live like this anyway.

 

Heh, heh, heh, hehhhhhhhh

 

Nutrition: What Everyone Gets Wrong

As I return to posting to Team WB Fitness today, I’m going over a topic that I’ve only just recently began to witness and comment on.  I’ll paraphrase Ronnie Coleman here when I say “Errybody wanna lose body fat but nobody wanna give up the pizza.”  Hardly Shakespeare, but you know what I mean. The biggest bit of knowledge I’ve learned this year about fitness is that your diet has to be as important as your training. Today, I’ll go over my insights and keys to lowering body fat.

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Meal Prep 101:Pepper Chicken Breast

I’m back from a much needed and as usual, way too short vacation with the family.  For meal prep for the week, I wanted to change it up from my fritatta  (as there are too many eggs on this site lately) so I went for a more traditional high protein lunch for the week; chicken breast.  Today I’ll go over what you need and how I prepared and portioned it.

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Protein Pick Me Up

As all of you know, I get up at the ass-crack of dawn to go to the gym.  In fact, before the sun is up I’m on my way there. An important part of bodybuilding is getting your macros, especially protein.  Also, it being the early morning, I like to have some coffee prior to starting my day.  My stomach would feel all bloated and full if I had a protein shake, then a few cups of coffee.  Then it hit me, to combine the two.  Today I’ll share my caffeine infused protein shake, and how to tailor it to your personal fitness needs.

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Fritatta For Fitness Gains

Last week I was introduced to the magic of  a dish known as fritatta.  WB Fitness and La’darell Luthor both told me how great it was so I decided to give it a whirl for my meal prep this week.  I decided to add my own J. Nyx zing to this classic egg dish and it turned out so damn good I had to share the recipe and macros I’m getting with this delicious and easy to make food.

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Protein Packed Poultry Meal Prep

Getting your protein macros hit, especially for guys doing weight training is key towards building the body of your dreams.  Sure you can go buy a ton of supplements, but I personally prefer the old school way, through eating a ton of good, quality foods.  Today I’ll share my recent go to meal prep that hits high on the macros, and low on the wallet.

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5 Healthy Changes I’ve Made after 30

While just a youngin’ to some of you readers here, I turned 30 a few months ago.  I never thought the shit people say about your body and mental state were true until I hit it.  While in one part I feel like I’m hitting that prime age of life, there had to be adjustments in my life.  Today I’ll share 5 things I’ve changed in my life after hitting 30.

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The Art of Hosting Events

For better or worse, my home seems to be where people tend to converge.  Whether it’s a holiday, a sports event, or even just a random Friday night, people gather at my home.  I like to think that my wife and I are good hosts seeing the turnout we get at our events, but I began to think deeper on the subject.  There are pros and cons to hosting things at your house for each member of your family.  Today I’ll discuss some of my favorite, and least favorite parts, as well as some things you can try if you’ve never hosted.

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Resolutions

Ah January, a time when everyone is on their A game right?   Everyone is committed to getting fit/eating better, quitting smoking/drinking, saving more money, etc.  All of these are great but they typically don’t last very long.  The problem with new years resolutions is that they’re almost always destined to fail.  Today, I’ll go over why resolutions typically fail and what you can do to create real change in your life this year

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Avoiding the Holiday Gut

One facet of the Christmas season that I’ve observed is that people let their dietary  choices go out the window.  People just accept that they’ll be shoveling junk food in their mouths and chugging excess booze the whole time just to make a “resolution” to eat healthy in January, which usually has them back home on their lazy asses within two weeks.   As I prepare for my collaboration with Team WB Fitness next month, I’m going to keep my diet clean this month and I’ll share my plan on keeping myself from looking like Santa by Christmas

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