The Ninja

Greetings all you mere mortals, heh. Prepare to bask in the awesomeness of me.

Got a problem? I’ve already been there, done that. Here, let me show you……………………….

Bad job? Have I got an idea for you, heh. Have you considered buying cheap Chinese manufactured junk (heh) and reselling them on Amazon for a 100% mark-up? Or developing your own brand of overnight oats? Maybe you should think about trying upwork.com for an extra buck or million, heh. Or maybe you should just pray real hard for God to drop $1M in your lap while you’re at it? I know you don’t want to work hard, heh, and smart. Just keep hunting those gold pots at the end of the rainbow. I’m sure that will work out for you, heh.

Need to shed some pounds? Heh, well you’ve come to the right place at the right time. Oxycut is the way to go. You’ll have those Viking princesses all over you in no time, heh, heh, hehhhhh. Or just drop an egg in your coffee.

While we’re discussing pills, let’s talk about Testosterone. As your body ages you have to cheat a little to maintain your frame (heh). That’s where the little T pill comes in. Pop that sucker in and return to the vibrancy of your youth. Heh, the women will be falling all over you and you can be free to do your body weight exercises instead of those mean ol’ weights.

Heh, while I’m on it, let’s discuss these lunkheads who use free weights. The poor dears just don’t understand the meanness of a man with a finely oiled beard and pomaded hair pumping out 200 pushups a day. Heh, it drives the wife crazy to see the sweat dripping off your moobs.

Think you need dieting and exercise to lose weight? Nah, just crank up the cold water and watch the fat go down the drain. I mean, heh, you can burn 4.2896 calories in just 30 miserable minutes in an arctic stream of water. Why do jumping jacks when you can crank in the cold, heh? And if you wack off in the shower you can burn a few more calories. That’s the only way your pecker will see action if you live like this anyway.

 

Heh, heh, heh, hehhhhhhhh

 

Dine and Dash

Man Accused of Serial Dining-and-Dashing, Leaving Women He Met Online to Foot Bill, Faces 10 Felony Counts: L.A. County Prosecutors

Curious about your thoughts on this one. A guy has been setting up dates online and taking out women out to dinner. Just before the time comes to pay the bill, he splits leaving the woman to pay the bill. To me, it is cheap. Continue reading “Dine and Dash”

Movie Recommendations

We all know political correctness has been dumbing down the story lines and jokes in movies. With all this talk of Star Wars, I want to hear from you, what are your favorite movies? Best Action flicks (Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, Road Warrior)? Best Dramas (Godfather, The Unforgiven)? Best War Flicks (Full Metal Jacket, All Quiet on the Western Front)? Best shows for kids (Follow me boys, Old Yeller)? Best Horrors (Night of living dead, Friday the 13th)? Best Comedies (UHF,  Airplane)?

Maybe if there are some recommendations from a masculine audience, I won’t be caught off guard watching shows with my kids that end up having a gay love scene or go on about political correctness for the duration of the film.

Benefits of Playing Outdoors

This weekend, I went with a good friend of mine (I’ll call him Luke) on a two night backpacking trip. I took my five oldest kids (ages 13, 11, 9, 8, and 5) and Luke took his three oldest (ages 11, 10 and 8, all boys). Because they never went on an overnight pack packing trip before, I decided to do a Continue reading “Benefits of Playing Outdoors”

The Moments That Matter Most

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This weekend, I took my oldest five kids up backpacking. (Wife stayed home with the 2 year old.) Unlike the King’s Peak trip last year, this one was fairly benign. We hiked about 3 miles to this lake and camped nearby in this meadow. We did climb up an 11,500 feet mountain. (Well, the two oldest did. My five year old froze at this rocky part of the ascent, and so I took him back, and the seven and nine year olds followed.) This was the first time I went with my kids on a two night backpacking trip. Food (or lack thereof) became a much bigger issue. My 13 year old boy and I had to carry an extra sleeping bag for the five and seven year olds.

Continue reading “The Moments That Matter Most”

Planning a Cheap Summer Picnic

As more and more kids just spend their days with their face glued to a screen, I try to come up with fun things for my kids to do outside.  Sunday’s are a “device free” day where we all unplug and enjoy each other’s company.  I try to find things to do that don’t cost too much, but are also rewarding.  You’d be surprised how little it takes for the kids to have a great time they’ll remember forever

Continue reading “Planning a Cheap Summer Picnic”

Home away from Home

Over the holiday weekend, I was invited to a friend’s campground on a lake.  He was hosting Memorial Day activities and invited my family to join.  Upon arriving I felt like I just belonged there.  Everyone was so happy there and while only 25 minutes from my home, it felt worlds away.  It got me thinking on how important a known destination that isn’t your primary home is.

Continue reading “Home away from Home”

Playing Hooky

Im sure the lot that frequents our site are no stranger to the concept of playing hooky.  You know, where you skip school and go do whatever all day.  But what does that have to do with a site geared toward married men with families.  I’m glad you asked, because I came up with a way to do this as an adult.  I’ll offer how and why you should do this, and how much fun I actually had when the wife and I just took a vacation from life for a day.

Continue reading “Playing Hooky”

Finding Time in the AM

My life is pretty busy.  Having a full time job as a Systems Administrator, 3 kids, a wife, house being built, after school activities, homework, and studying for my certification exams is a lot on one plate.  That said, you need time to be by yourself and do things you want to do.  For me this is going to the gym in the early morning.  I have always been an early riser, but for anyone who can, I’d recommend getting up earlier in the morning if possible.  Today I’ll go over the benefits I’ve found from getting up early in the mornings.

Continue reading “Finding Time in the AM”

How To: Build A Plumbing Pipe Lamp

WARNING: The article below involves using electrical parts and wiring them up yourself.  We assume no responsibility for injury or damage to personal property.

I love a building project. Whether its building a whole new deck on the back of your house, or making a simple lamp, the pride you can take from watching something come to form makes you happy.  I have made 2 of these style lamps now and figured I’d share a fun, inexpensive project you can use as a functional yet stylish conversation piece, or even give as a one gift.

Continue reading “How To: Build A Plumbing Pipe Lamp”